Make me dirty

Electrical

As she examined the vibrating nipple clamps, encased in their gaudy plastic blister pack, a contemplative and slightly hungry expression crossed Belinda's pretty face.

Tarquin mused that, when she'd suggested going shopping for electrical appliances, this wasn't at all what he'd envisaged...

restraint
 
torque

Intrepid astronauts Wanda McFarlane and Hal Wilson took their passion for Newtonian physics to a new level when they embarked upon their zero-G lovemaking experiment. They'd been sweethearts since college, and their combined efforts had been focussed for the past fifteen years on ensuring that they ended up on this mission together.

Countless nights of calculations, combined with an equally assiduous approach to their practical work, culminated in a truly innovative and unique twist on the old perpetual motion chestnut.

Once in orbit, and suitably primed and docked, they simply applied a little torque to Wanda's haunches (her long-term hobby of gymnastics allowed her to pull her legs out of the way), and watched as she span like an increasingly breathless and flushed flywheel on Hal's axle...

kata
 
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Kata

Oh how her heart thrilled to see him perform the . She watched the coloured belt fly about his white jacketted form with her heart thudding in her throat, quivering in admiration.

She knelt quietly by the floor mats, bowing her head and watching through strands of hair and her eyelashes. She felt her cunt quiver in time with her heart and she felt dampness between her thighs.

ikebana
 
ikebana

They joked about the seriousness with which he approached licking her pussy. He would lie between her spread thighs, his head cocked to one side as he studied every inch, every fold of his beloved's plump vulva. With exquisite care, he would run his tongue carefully, deliberately along the moist cleft, gently parting her petals as if engaged in the most delicate of ikebana rituals.

By the time he had persuaded that moist flower to open fully, she was a gasping furrow waiting to be planted.

serpentine
 
Serpentine

"Whatever is going on here?" spluttered the Colonel, as he parted the serpentine vines dangling from the branches of the tree.

His wife lay with her legs spread in the shelter of the green awning the vines provided, and the gardener's head between her thighs.

"Don't be silly, dear," she responded tartly. "I tripped over the croquet hoop and fell in here and when George came to help me, he slipped too."

The gardener lifted his head from between her creamy plump thighs.

"You know I always play croquet with no knickers on," Mrs Blimp added airily.

Zephyr
 
Zephyr

As Aphrodite stood, new-born and naked, on her half-shell, Modesty tried to clothe her from the sight of mankind. Zephyr, however, would have none of such, and kept the diaphanous gown aloft. For this, we are forever in his debt.

batholith
 
tempura

Steve found Neko's sexual gymnastics beyond belief, far surpassing the one-hundred and sixty-nine positions which which he was familiar, but was overjoyed afterwards to find she could cook as well. When she treated him to an Asian dinner and rustic dessert that she had herself prepared, he couldn't help but cry out "O tempura! O s'mores!"

ogive
 
ogive

"Whenever I think of him, I picture an ogive." sighed Melinda

Her friend arched an eyebrow. "Is that because his mind is high and vaulted like the roof of a cathedral. Or..." she paused, grinning salaciously at Melinda and waggling said eyebrows suggestively. "... is it because of his divinely shaped penis?"

Melinda gave a wry smile. "In a manner of speaking, the latter." she drawled. "It's because he's such a bell-end."

modem
 
lasagna

He wooed her with his lasagna. But not with the finished product. He led her by the hand to the kitchen, standing behind her and murmuring instructions and encouragement as he talked her through making pasta for the first time.

He showed her how to use just the tips of her fingers to mix the flour and eggs, then how to knead the dough until it bound together, his arms reaching round her to demonstrate how best to stretch and press the flour until it was silky and elastic. "Just like your skin..." he whispered in her ear as his hands kneaded the surrogate flesh of flour and eggs. She giggled.

Then running the dough through the pasta machine, both laughing as she struggled with the gauge to alter the thickness. He'd prepared the bolognese sauce in advance, but they made the bechamel together, him grating the cheese while admonishing her jokingly to keep stirring, don't let it stick...

By the time they came to layering the ingredients in the dish, they were completely comfortable in each other's spaces. He ladled in the sauces, she proudly laid her sheets of pasta on top, and they both primped and arranged them to their mutual satisfaction before starting on the next tier.

As he slipped the dish into the oven, their eyes met. She smiled, the slight flush in her cheeks not entirely the result of the oven's heat.

Two hours later, they were eating ice cream in bed. He'd have to apologise to his neighbours in the morning about the fire alarm...

bookstore
 
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"Oh, Big Daddy. My...bookstore is closed this week," she said demurely.

"That's okay, Honeybun, your diner is open for business," he said turning her on her stomach.

Next word: ratchet.
 
Ratchet

With a few strokes of the finger on her upstanding clitoris, it was easy for him to ratchet up her lust. She spread her thighs and moaned. She looked at him kneeling between her legs, the teasing grin on his mouth. She caught her lip up in her teeth and her hands clenched on the bedclothes, she was beyond aching with desire.

Butterfly
 
tulip

His cock stood up like a tulip, the cup of the flower at the top spilling a little nectar. She perched her lips on it like a bee, gently humming so that his hips jerked in spite of his efforts to keep still for her.

Truffle-hunting pig.
 
solfeggio

They used to like to practice their solfeggio on each others' flutes. Carl would use the fixed do while Patrick, being British, preferred the musical do. The softly pursed lips, husky whistling notes breathing over tender erect stems; an occasional moan made a bass accompaniment to the music.

Darning
 

I'm intrigued now...

darning

A lifetime of frugality had many benefits, but not when it came to providing manual relief for her lover, when unable to make love at that time of the month.

His penis, slim of shaft but thick of head, reminded her subliminally of her darning mushroom. So much so that it was only his strangled cry, when she tugged down hard on his foreskin and pinched it with an iron grip to the shaft, that reminded her she was engaged in a more delicate task than mending his holey sock...

walkie-talkie
 
walkie-talkie

As their eyes met across the room, each glance conveyed a thought, a sensation. A sensation so profound that each felt it deep in their loins,so tangible that each moistened at its touch,so insistent that each trembled in orgasm. Clearly their distant two-way communication system was much more than a simple walkie-talkie.

interlinear
 
interlinear

It was his intellect that first attracted her to him, his seemingly limitless knowledge of the minutiae of just about any topic she cared to mention. But what seemed, at first, to be fascinating pedagogy soon emerged as nothing more than irritating pedantry, and the bloom went quickly off the rose.

The final straw came when he started injecting an interlinear gloss into their sex life. She'd sucked enough dicks to know what a frenulum was, and how to stimulate one to best effect. She really didn't need a lecture on its etymology and corrected pronunciation...

pedestrian
 
pedestrian

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked as her beau tried to disrobe her in the middle of the promenade.

"Well," he explained, "you told me my sexual performance was 'pedestrian at best,' so I thought you'd really enjoy it."

spackle
 
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