The "I Didn't Get Laid Today" Thread

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Sorry man...

I was excited because I found out that I would be at a party with an old friend of mine. Excited because he was one of the few men who actually got me to orgasm, and the last person I got laid with.

But when I got there, he had a girlfriend.

Fuck.

rugged.
I didn't even get that close.
 
I did in my dreams. First time in a long time that I have had a sex dream. If I had more than one in the last five years, I would be surprised.

But no real sex :(
 
I did in my dreams. First time in a long time that I have had a sex dream. If I had more than one in the last five years, I would be surprised.

But no real sex :(

I love those.

The strange thing, is that they usually have very little with what I recognize as my fantasies. They will be with people I know in real life (but have never fantasized about) doing things I normally don't masturbate to. (though after one of these dreams, I usually add them to the repertoire)

It's like my super-subconcious wants my conscious mind to stop hogging the screen.
 
I love those.

The strange thing, is that they usually have very little with what I recognize as my fantasies. They will be with people I know in real life (but have never fantasized about) doing things I normally don't masturbate to. (though after one of these dreams, I usually add them to the repertoire)

It's like my super-subconcious wants my conscious mind to stop hogging the screen.

Is it okay if I laugh at that?
OMG, you remind me how real life frustration can manifest in my dreams. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to have sex ( in a dream) and have been unsuccessful. In the dream, the guy's GF shows up and stops us... Or the door to the room won't lock for the privacy I crave... Or the man suddenly blurts "I'm sorry but YOU ARE JUST TOO WEIRD FOR ME!"... lol
 
My most recent dream, I was a man who wasn't indiana jones (but greatly resembled him)

I was captured by a strange religious sect of mutants. They forced me to become pregnant and bear a child. I gave birth through my navel.

Then I escaped when they tried to impregnate me again. I killed them all with clever traps I made in the rosebushes. Knives and tripwires and spike pits.

But the small pink mutant that looked like a kush-ball helped me escape into the ocean.


That's the most I can remember. How do I get off on these things? :confused:
 
My most recent dream, I was a man who wasn't indiana jones (but greatly resembled him)

I was captured by a strange religious sect of mutants. They forced me to become pregnant and bear a child. I gave birth through my navel.

Then I escaped when they tried to impregnate me again. I killed them all with clever traps I made in the rosebushes. Knives and tripwires and spike pits.

But the small pink mutant that looked like a kush-ball helped me escape into the ocean.


That's the most I can remember. How do I get off on these things? :confused:

YOU'RE TOO WEIRD FOR ME. :eek:

lol. I'm joking. But you should spill more angel turds from the bean bag you sleep on....or is it a kush ball? The bedding bits have strange, intriguing shapes and would make good stories here...or in the gossip mags at the intergalactic newsstand.

Really, I love to read about bizarre sex...dreams or other.
 
sorry, your AV confused me about your gender... though now I'm picturing you jilling off fantasizing you have a cock...

I tried to stick with female avatars for a while. Back in my early 'matrix' days. But unfortunately, there is a dearth of popular female characters for me to work with.

Yeah, I have Ripley and the mane six, I have Trinity and Michonne. But I like to nerd out about the others, too.

And I'm on a Breaking Bad fix right now... All of the female characters are either dead or Skyler.
 
I tried to stick with female avatars for a while. Back in my early 'matrix' days. But unfortunately, there is a dearth of popular female characters for me to work with.

Yeah, I have Ripley and the mane six, I have Trinity and Michonne. But I like to nerd out about the others, too.

And I'm on a Breaking Bad fix right now... All of the female characters are either dead or Skyler.

But... Ripley and Trinity were played by men...
(yeah, I'm completely unattracted to those Sigorney Weaver and Carrie Anne Moss)
 
I started a new job on Monday! At a video games start-up! In the Silicon Valley, one of the biggest sausage-fests in the world!

I was surprised to find there were three whole women in the office.

And no, didn't get laid with any of them.
 
I haven't gotten laid today yet, either. Not even in a story. Of course it's only 1 pm and there's an Australian Open tennis match on. So, there's plenty of time.
 
no matter how young the day, the chances here are between "random" and "none".
 
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