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To Authors... do you write in secret?

NoJo said:
Very similar to me (my father was also a writer). I started writing when my marriage started to fall apart. Telling my spouse in the hope of improving our sex life had the unfortunate effect of accelerating the separation though. Hopefully our situations differ there.
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There is no need for me to be secretive at present. I live with my aged little dog, my nearest neighbor is 3 km away. The nearest town is 35 km away. I talk to about one person a month, the checkout lady at the supermarket.

I had a partner two years ago but when she discovered my writing she became extremely aggressive in pursuit of absolute control over me. It was very difficult dealing with the daily threats screamed at me, the black mail, theft, Threats to kill me and dishonesty ... in the name of feminism. A frequent trick of hers was to tell me she was leaving, would crash her car into a tree and go with dust and gravel thrown every where. Then she'd return wanting concessions. One day she did it and I went down the drive and locked the gate. She wasn't welcome back. A couple of weeks later she returned and told me her son had suicided. His partner had been doing exactly the same to him. (Men marry their mothers). Her son was brilliant , generous and wonderful. I miss him. My former partner was distraught. We talk now but she will never return. She has asked to return many times but No! Abuse is unacceptable and trust has gone. I got a new identity and am slowly working my way back to where I was before she was a part of my life. So, I think that if one has a control freak in one's life it is essential that one be secretive and not be caught. I envy those who have an open relationship that is encouraging and generous.
 
I have written for years; television scripts, mainstream short fiction and articles for professional journals. I have only recently started my first forays into erotica. And yes, I write in secret.
 
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HeyAll said:
I dont tell anyone. If I'm writing and someone comes, i change the screen.
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Someone comes in ALL my stories. ;)

A few of my friends and family know that I write erotic stories, none of them feel comfortable reading them and don't want to talk about it. Doesn't bother me.
 
For the longest time I kept my writing (erotic and otherwise) a secret from my friends and family. I've since told my wife and a few close (and non-judgmental) friends, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. Still...no plans to go public or anything. :)
 
My wife and friends know nothing. I keep this a big time secret. I wish I had shared with my wife when I started, but I'm too far down the road now. I'll take this secret to my grave.
 
PlagueDr said:
So to all those other authors, do you guys or girls write in secret? Or do your significant others know? If so how did you tell them, and were they receptive to it? I know that my girl does read Literotica as well because we talked about it, I am just worried that maybe she will think something in my story is weird or off.

I really don't like hiding it, just nervous to tell her.
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Nobody officially knows I'm writing on here but I think my wife once coincidentally saw my cockpit on the phone so I think she might know.
 
I didn't start writing erotica until after my husband died but I know he would be supportive. I used to read to him from other things I wrote and he encouraged me to continue. I did once read a scene I wrote that was about a sex magick ritual, and he liked it a lot. We had no secrets in this realm; used to be in a BDSM society and practiced a little 'kink' of our own. Since then I've let one friend read some of my erotica, and told a couple of prospective boyfriends. One I let read an entire story and he seemed to like it but not to be overly affected by it one way or the other. I figure it's either going to be a turn on or freak someone out entirely. As for the rest of my family, NO they don't know that I do this. Maybe they'll find out after I'm dead. I kinda like that idea.
 
* * * * * * * * * *
 
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I didn't used to keep my stories to myself. Back when I was publishing in print and being paid to do it, I would share my stories with my wife. Often, after publication. For whatever reason, she didn't seem to have much interest in reading them before they were published. I'm not sure why. Just a quirk about her. (When I was acting in plays, she never wanted to see me in costume/character until the performance and would never come to rehearsals, including a dress rehearsal.)

Later, for whatever reasons, she felt as if my erotic writing was getting in the way of my mainstream writing. I felt it was informing and empowering it. She wanted me to stop writing erotica. I honored her wish, on the outside chance that she was right. I stopped writing anything, mainstream or erotic fiction.

Later still, I found my way to this website (ironically, one she had pointed out to me years prior). I began posting here and it fills a void inside of me. I never bothered to tell her I was writing erotica again. She doesn't seem interested in my erotic efforts (although she does read quite a bit erotica). I've given up on understanding this part of her personality.
 
My alter life is a secret. Nothing crosses over.
In the past I met girls using my alter life name of bone251. The meetings were for sex. A couple became more friendly and crossed into regular life but none of how we met or why we met was ever shared. Not really a good thing to tell your innocent friends that you met a girl on a hook up sire or as an escort.
Back in the previous life when I was meeting other girls I did share my stories as a creative way to find out if they would enjoy my kink of tease and orgasm denial. Many did not get it. But several did and then because of the stories really wanted to meet me. It made for some very nice play time.
My most recent story connects with fantasy many actual things that have happened to me.
My new wife plays the tease and denial well but does not want to read or see anything online like this forum. I now enjoy the alter life without going after the hookups.

:):):):):):):)
 
I think that I started writing for money when I was 18. Of course, none of the editors knew that I was 18. I think that I used to hint that I was 22 (ish). It sounded more 'grown up'. And then an editor (with whom I went on to work with for about 12 years) took me out to a grown up dinner.

'How old are you?' she asked.

I think that I was 21. But I told her 28.

'Have you ever tried writing erotica?' she asked - somewhere between the oysters and the lobster.

You have to remember that when I was 21 (going on 28) 'erotica' was Henry Miller and Anais Nin. I told her no. But I said that I could give it a go - if she thought that I should.

'OK. Just when you feel like it,' she said. 'But we might need a non de plume.'

I never made it a secret. But I didn't go out of my way to tell people either. It's the same today.
 
This is all quite fascinating, especially as it relates to people and partners. I mentioned I started writing this hot and heavily overdone romance stuff when I was younger and when I graduated to boyfriends I started getting into their heads and working on what got them really excited and flicked their switches. Started making up little fantasy things for them from about 14 on ..... sort of "... imagine you're ..." and every single one-off them lapped it up.

I've never had a boyfriend who didn't want more. maybe I was good at picking them. I kind of kept on dabbling at writing but it wasn't something I shared much until my now partner encouraged me. I don't share what I write with anyone other than him in person. My writing workshops get the bits without the sex, or with the sex mainstreamed and toned down to "romance" levels.

I love that I can be so open with my partner, there's no stress or secrecy about what I write with him and he loves the stories and encourages me to write and completely understands my little writing frenzies. Doesn't worry me in the slightest that I keep it concealed from everyone else, I'm a fairly private person at the best of times and that's easy for me. I'm far more open about myself here on AH where it's more anonymous than I ever am in person with anyone except my partner and he's on Literotica too except he just reads, he very rarely posts a thing.
 
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I have always written in secret, in fact not a living soul knows I have written my stories despite having started over ten years ago. Think I like to keep my fantasies to myself, especially as I write in the non consent genre.
 
I tend to write when I'm alone, but my wife does know that I write stories for lit. If she's busy reading or on a game, I feel free to write while she's in the room.

Oddly enough one day a few months ago, she told a good friend of ours, that I "write porn".

Luckily she only gave me an odd look and didn't ask questions.
 
I write in complete secrecy. I am happily married but I know that she would never understand so telling her is not an option. I always enjoyed reading erotica much more than looking at pictures. I guess it has to do with visualizing the story in my own mind and feeling like I'm a part of the action.

I was never any kind of writer until I started writing erotica and most would say I'm still not much of one. But it seems to free me from my reality like nothing else and that is the attraction for me. There have been times that I was close to telling someone but I always thought better of it and I'm glad I did.

I've never really felt bad about doing it in secret because I know that no one else would understand it. It is just my thing that I do for myself.
 
A few weeks ago I made a comment that I wrote fantasy sex stories with an alias.

The laughing went on for quite a while.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
I don't try to keep my writing a secret, some of my friends and family know I write erotica. My wife proof reads my stories before I send them to an editor even though they are not her type of stories, she's ok with what I write. I hope your fiancee will continue to be supportive of your writing.
 
My SO knows that I write stories, and sometimes I read the comments that I've gotten to him, but I honestly could not bare to have him read the stories themselves. Its not so much that I fear his judgement (although there's a touch of that) but that I want to cushion him from comparison to my ott fantasies.
I might be over estimating how brittle his ego is, but I'm usually writing about demons with massive cocks, or women, neither of which are things he is or that I need him to be. I just want him to feel secure.
 
Many know I've written songs, comments, propaganda.
None know I've written pr0n.
Safer that way.

Safer, really. I've used those around me as models for characters, recognizable by any who know us. They would likely *not* be pleased by their depictions or my revelations. If they know I wrote, they would demand to read, and then I'd be in dire straits.
 
litfan10 said:
I wish I could tell more who know me as the other writer. I enjoy my erotic writing a lot and it is much more pure me by choice. I don't use editors or readers, until very recently again a choice more for the fun.
My professional writing has all sorts of eyes on it before it gets published which is fine, but I have a soft spot for my erotica.
But I've been warned that mainstream editors and publishers can shy away from erotic writers and my college dept head is an 18th century purest. Neither a healthy mix for an erotic writer.
So my closest will know alone.
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Better your closest than just your closet.
 
Hypoxia said:
... Safer, really. I've used those around me as models for characters, recognizable by any who know us. They would likely *not* be pleased by their depictions or my revelations. If they know I wrote, they would demand to read, and then I'd be in dire straits.
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Yes. I'm okay with my partner but my work ... they're conservative on stuff like that and so are a lot of our friends. No way anyone else is knowing. None of my friends know and certainly not my family. I think in the end it's one of those things that's best kept private unless you're EL James or Sylvia Day.
 
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