Since we put up the tree today

Take a second, look in the mirror and be totally honest with yourself. Does anyone like you?

Not that I can think of. There was a girl in New Jersey, but looking back on it, she could very well have been a prostitute.
 
This wasn't even my choice. It's a long story, but he's the one that stopped talking to me. He did it because his wife doesn't like me.
It doesn't matter. It's a short life we live. No need to punish him forever. 3 years is longer than he'd get for raping someone.

Swallow your pride and shoot him a line asking how he is and letting him know you'd like to get some coffee sometime. Remember that he can't reinitiate contact with you even if he wants to, because it means selling his wife out. He lives with her, not you. It's a shitty position he's in.

It's time to open the door again.
 
It doesn't matter. It's a short life we live. No need to punish him forever. 3 years is longer than he'd get for raping someone.

Swallow your pride and shoot him a line asking how he is and letting him know you'd like to get some coffee sometime. Remember that he can't reinitiate contact with you even if he wants to, because it means selling his wife out. He lives with her, not you. It's a shitty position he's in.

It's time to open the door again.

Well, I'll consider it. The only reason I would even consider it is because I have a niece, but she wouldn't remember me now.

My brother is half Puerto Rican (yeah, my mom fucked a Puerto Rican ha ha ha), so I used to call my niece a "little Quarter Rican". She was a sweet baby, but a little off.
 
I wouldn't mind letting Carrie Underwood carry my underwood, if you know what I mean.
 
I means I'd like her to hold my erect penis. Like, in a sexual way.
 
So what I'm really saying is, I wouldn't mind if Carrie Underwood were holding my erect penis because we were having some kind of sexual encounter with each other.

While Renee was phlegming me.
 
Grandma KRC soon? Or have you told her if she makes you a young grandma, you'll take her out?
 
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