How to bake yummy things for the holidays

Ugly but good cookies

1 1/2 cup almonds
1 1/3 cup confectioner's sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
1 egg white
1/4 tsp almond extract
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
3 Tblsp. chopped apricots

Combine the almonds and sugar in a food processor and process until finely ground. Add the vanilla, almond extract, and the egg white. Process until mixture forms a ball. Put in a bowl and fold in the walnuts and the apricots by hand. Drop by Tblsp on a parchement lined cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 7 to 10 minutes, or until the bottoms are barely browned.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
 
Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs. :eek::D:rose:

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat. :D
 
I'm no ones optional ingredient.

Like yeast to bread, the right recipe doesn't work without me. (I said yeast, not yeast infection).

Now wait a minute, young lady, in this case optional would mean a nice addition. You would add sublime nuances to the mix that would create a whole new tasty morsel in and of itself. If you must be your own unique recipe, so be it, I happen to think you are more than a one trick pony. :rose::heart:;):D
 
Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs. :eek::D:rose:

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat. :D

Essence of goat? You can suck goat scrote. :D

And Rainshine shall not be an optional ingredient in my recipe.

Take 1 part Rainshine, with her clacking claws
Take 1 part Pmann, non goaty variety
Mix together
Shake
Lord we will shake
Beat until the Pmann becomes creamy white
Let rest for 20 minutes
Repeat again and again :D
 
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Alright you kids. . . take it out of the kitchen or it's the wooden spoon for the lot of ya!
 
So I don't get in trouble and I'm not completely useless to this thread... :eek:

Coconut Cake

1 Box Butter Cake Mix
1 Container Cool Whip
2 Cups Sugar
4 Bags Fresh Frozen Coconut (3 bags for filling and 1 for topping)
16oz Sour Cream

For the cake:

Follow recipe on box. After cooling, make cake in 4 layers.

For the filling:

Mix 2 cups of sugar, 3 bags of coconut and 16oz sour cream. Fill each cake layer with this mixture.

(Note- reserve 1 cup of filling for the icing)

For the icing:

Mix cool whip with 1 cup of filling. Place icing over the entire cake.

For the topping:

Use the remaining bag of coconut to top over entire cake.

Cake is best when it is left to set overnight. The filling will moisten the cake.

So that's how the back a coconut cock. I don't like coconut, cool whip or sour cream. But this cake is fucking amazing. It is by far the most requested of my wife's desserts and she is quite the culinary artist. She swears it's easy to make. I don't know about that, because she says that about shit like soufflés and I know damned well those are hard.
 
Speaking of Alton Brown, this is a direct rip-off of his eggnog recipe with a couple of my own changes. Primarily, I've just upped the bourbon and added vanilla. Use an electric mixer for this - you don't need a stand mixer, just a cheap hand-held will do fine.

4 egg yolks
1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon
1 pint whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
6 ounces bourbon (I prefer Evan Williams but use whatever whiskey you like)
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 egg whites

Beat yolks and 1/3 cup sugar until creamy and light in color

Add milk, cream, bourbon, and vanilla and mix well.

Wash your mixer blades before continuing or you'll have hell getting your whites to foam properly.

Mix the egg whites till you get soft peaks. Add the 1 tablespoon sugar and continue beating till you get stiff peaks.

Slowly add the egg-white foam to the yolk/milk mixture and mix thoroghly. The foam will eventually separate so put it in a container that you can shake before serving.

Yes, this means consuming raw eggs. If you're neurotic about that then you can VERY SLOWLY bring the whole mixture up to 160 degrees F. I say very slowly because with all the protiens and sugars in this liquid, it's going to scorch very easily and you'll ruin the whole batch. That should kill off any nasties that have about a 1 in 10,000 chance to show up in your yummy, creamy, eggnogy goodness. It won't affect the taste much but your eggnog will be thicker when it cools.

A word to the wise - if you've got more than two or three people to serve, double the recipe.

You can also substitute Rum for the Bourbon but you'll be missing out on some really great flavors that the Bourbon provides.

Edit: You know, it occurs to me that lots of folks don't like Bourbon as much as I do. The original recipe calls for three ounces. Perhaps you should start with three and add more if you feel it's too light on the spirits. :)
 
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Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs. :eek::D:rose:

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat. :D

I have to shake my head over this one.....
I'm too frightened of Saucy's wooden spoon to say anything here.....expect a strongly worded PM! :mad:
 
Yes, this means consuming raw eggs. If you're neurotic about that then you can VERY SLOWLY bring the whole mixture up to 160 degrees F. I say very slowly because with all the protiens and sugars in this liquid, it's going to scorch very easily and you'll ruin the whole batch. That should kill off any nasties that have about a 1 in 10,000 chance to show up in your yummy, creamy, eggnogy goodness. It won't affect the taste much but your eggnog will be thicker when it cools.

A word to the wise - if you've got more than two or three people to serve, double the recipe.

You can also substitute Rum for the Bourbon but you'll be missing out on some really great flavors that the Bourbon provides.

Edit: You know, it occurs to me that lots of folks don't like Bourbon as much as I do. The original recipe calls for three ounces. Perhaps you should start with three and add more if you feel it's too light on the spirits. :)
It seems to me that the alcohol would eliminate most of the nasties from the raw eggs. Then again, I still eat raw cookie dough and cake batter.
 
I hope to be making this sooon (jumbo brownie):

"Like all great desserts," says Anne Quatrano , "these brownies have only three pertinent flavors: chocolate, butter and walnuts." Quatrano, an F&W Best New Chef 1995, is the chef of a small empire of restaurants in Atlanta. Baking Tips from F&W Editors



Ingredients

1 pound(s) unsalted butter
1 1/2 pound(s) semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) salt
6 large eggs
2 1/2 cup(s) sugar
2 tablespoon(s) pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoon(s) strong-brewed espresso
6 ounce(s) semisweet chocolate chips, 1 cup
1 cup(s) walnut halves, lightly toasted and coarsely chopped optional


Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. Spray a 9-by-13-inch glass or ceramic baking dish with cooking spray. In a double boiler, melt the butter with the chopped chocolate over low heat. In a small bowl, whisk the flour with the baking powder and salt.
2. In a large bowl, using a handheld mixer, beat the eggs with the sugar at medium-high speed until pale and thick, 4 minutes. Beat in the vanilla and espresso. Add the flour mixture and beat until just incorporated. Beat in the melted chocolate at medium speed. Using a spoon, stir in the chocolate chips and walnuts.
3. Scrape the batter into the prepared baking dish. Bake in the center of the oven for about 1 hour, until the top is shiny and lightly cracked, the edges are set and the center is still a bit jiggly. Transfer the dish to a rack and let cool completely. Cut the brownie into 12 large rectangles and serve.
 
It seems to me that the alcohol would eliminate most of the nasties from the raw eggs. Then again, I still eat raw cookie dough and cake batter.

As do I. I have no problems with raw eggs but there are those people out there that start convulsing and going into fits at the mere thought of consuming anything before someone comes along and kills it with fire.
 
update:

The Oreo balls were made and shipped.

So far, I've received two, "OMG! These are so good!" Thank you again for posting this recipe. I was good little ladybug and ate my three.:)

Not sure who thought it'd be a good idea to blend Oreos and cream cheese, but I sure am glad they did...these were fantastic.

The only (slight) change I made was that I added a couple of teaspoons of canola oil to my white chocolate. I found it a bit too thick to work with once it was melted and the canola oil thinned it out beautifully.

Oreo Balls

1 package Oreo Cookies
1 block cream cheese, softened
1 package Chocolate Almond Bark or Bakers Chocolate Baking Squares


Place Oreo Cookies in a baggie and smash until it is the consistency of dirt. Mix softened cream cheese into smashed cookies. Form into balls. (I like to put mine on wax paper.) Melt chocolate according to package directions in microwave. Cover balls in chocolate. Place in refrigerator.



Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
 
update:

The Oreo balls were made and shipped.

So far, I've received two, "OMG! These are so good!" Thank you again for posting this recipe. I was good little ladybug and ate my three.:)

Not sure who thought it'd be a good idea to blend Oreos and cream cheese, but I sure am glad they did...these were fantastic.

The only (slight) change I made was that I added a couple of teaspoons of canola oil to my white chocolate. I found it a bit too thick to work with once it was melted and the canola oil thinned it out beautifully.


Yay!! I will be making these next weekend with my kids. Can't wait!
 
Thanks to everyone for the great recipes. . . Nip, you know I'm going to have to try those now. . . .
 
Oreo Balls

1 package Oreo Cookies
1 block cream cheese, softened
1 package Chocolate Almond Bark or Bakers Chocolate Baking Squares


Place Oreo Cookies in a baggie and smash until it is the consistency of dirt. Mix softened cream cheese into smashed cookies. Form into balls. (I like to put mine on wax paper.) Melt chocolate according to package directions in microwave. Cover balls in chocolate. Place in refrigerator.


Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.


Ahhh you beat me to it! I LOVE these - They are amazing but... how DO you dip them in chocolate and keep them pretty? These are photos of mine!

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Chocolate Crinkles

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Oh and these! I love pretty cookies!


Chocolate Crinkles
are a deliciously soft, fudge-like cookie that are encased in a generous coating of confectioners (powdered or icing) sugar. The name "Crinkle" probably refers to how the powdered sugar "crinkles" or "cracks" as the cookies bake, revealing a little of the chocolate underneath. This must be why they are often referred to as "Black and Whites". I love to eat these Chocolate Crinkles warm from the oven when they are so wonderfully soft and just seem to melt in your mouth.

Chocolate Crinkles:

4 tablespoons (56 grams) unsalted butter

8 ounces (230 grams) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated white sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups (195 grams) all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder

and...

1 cup (110 grams) confectioners (powdered or icing) sugar, sifted


Chocolate Crinkles: In a heatproof bowl, placed over a saucepan of simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.

In the bowl of your electric mixer,, beat the eggs and sugar until thick, pale, and fluffy (about 3 to 5 minutes). (When you slowly raise the beaters the batter will fall back into the bowl in slow ribbons.) Then beat in the vanilla extract. Add the cooled chocolate mixture and beat until incorporated.

In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, salt, and baking powder. Add dry ingredients to the chocolate mixture, stirring just until incorporated. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm enough to shape into balls (several hours or even overnight).

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place the sifted confectioners sugar in a shallow bowl. First, form the chilled dough into 1 inch (2.5 cm) balls, and then roll each ball in the sugar. Make sure each ball is completely coated, with no chocolate showing through. Place the sugar-covered balls on the prepared baking sheet, spacing about 2 inches (5 cm) apart.

Bake cookies for about 8 to 10 minutes or just until the edges are slightly firm but the centers are still soft. (For moist chewy cookies do not over bake. Over baking these cookies will cause them to be dry.) Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. These cookies are best eaten the day they are baked.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
 

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This is probably my favorite thread in the history of Lit. *happy sigh*
 
Well, I'm going to take a cheaters way out and just post the links to the candies that I make every year for Christmas. They're tasty, easy, and everyone loves them.

Bailey's Fudge
http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/desserts/baileye28099s-irish-cream-and-pistachio-fudge/

Chocolate Bark with Bacon
http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/desserts/chocolate-bark-with-bacon-and-walnuts/

Bourbon Balls- Note- I let my pecans sit in the bourbon overnight.
http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/desserts/pecan-bourbon-balls/

Buckeyes! Mmm.. nomnomnom.
http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/desserts/buckeyes-6/

And lastly- Peppermint Patties. I add just a bit more peppermint extract than they call for in the recipe.
http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/desserts/homemade-peppermint-patties-2/
 
Ok, Twilight dreamer, the nomnomnom cracked me up. My daughter says that exact thing when she sees buckeyes.

This is a simple ball cookie, but one of my favorites. I got it from an Afternoon Tea cookbook somewhere in my travels.

Dream Cookies
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
48 sliced almonds

Sift the flour, and baking powder together. Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add the vanilla. Gradually add the dry ingredients and mix until combined. Chill 1 hour. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. Roll dough into 1 inch balls. Put on ungreased cookie sheet. Press one almond on to each cookie ball. Bake for 25 min. Makes 4 doz cookies.
 
And what we had for dessert tonight

Simple Bread Pudding

10 slices of Challah bread, cut into cubes
1/4 cup butter melted
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup dried cherries
6 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
3 cups of milk scalded
fresh nutmeg

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Put the bread cubes in a big bowl. Drizzled with the melted butter, and sprinkle with the cinnamon. Toss with the dried cherries and put in a buttered, 10 cup baking dish. In a bowl, beat the eggs with the sugar until combined. Add the vanilla and mix. Gradually add the hot milk, whisking constantly until combined. Pour through a fine mesh sieve over the bread. Sprinkle with fresh nutmeg. Bake for 25 min. Let cool for at least 30 min. Can be served warm with whipped cream or ice cold, with whipped cream.
 
Enjoy Peanut Butter Icing? Here's an AWESOME recipe for it just keep in mind- you'll have to double or quadrople it considering this recipe was originally meant for a dozen cupcakes.

3 Tbsp smooth peanut butter
4 Tbsp Mascarpone
1/3 cup confectioner's sugar, sifted


Mix the peanuter butter and mascarpone together then slowly add the sugar. Trust me- try a small amount of this and you'll thank me.
 
Thanks for posting everyone!

Why oh why oh why did I make these? This is the one cookie I can't leave alone.

Snickerdoodles
1/2 cup vegetable shortening*
1/2 cup butter, softened*
1 1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 2/3 cups flour
2 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

3 Tblsp sugar
3 tsp cinnamon

Cream together the veggie shortening, butter, and sugar until fluffy. Add the eggs and beat until combined. Sift together the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt. Gradually add to butter mixture.

Combine the sugar and cinnamon on a plate or in a wide bowl.

Roll dough into walnut sized balls and roll in the cinnamon sugar mixture. Bake at 400 degrees on ungreased cookie sheets (I use parchement) for 10 - 12 min.

*Ok, I know but hear me out. All butter gives you a crisper cookie so if you like that, use 1 cup butter. Shortening gives you a softer cookie, but you miss out on some flavor. Combining the two gives you a nice snap when you initially bite into the cookie, but a nice chewy center. That is how I like my cookies so perfect for me--but your mileage may vary.
 
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