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Do they mean that?

I've just had a marketing email headed:

Decorate your hoe this Christmas

I don't normally decorate my hoe. I just clean the mud off it before putting it in the garden shed. As for my 'Ho'? I don't have one. The neighbourhood whore wouldn't appreciate being decorated except in genuine jewellery instead of the fake crap she normally wears.

What can they mean?
 
I've just had a marketing email headed:

Decorate your hoe this Christmas

I don't normally decorate my hoe. I just clean the mud off it before putting it in the garden shed. As for my 'Ho'? I don't have one. The neighbourhood whore wouldn't appreciate being decorated except in genuine jewellery instead of the fake crap she normally wears.

What can they mean?

This could be the commencement of a new trend, perhaps ?
(Or:- https://www.zazzle.com/life_isnt_a_garden_so_dont_be_a_hoe_t_shirt_tum-235978397124717777

This is, apparently, the "Year of trhe Hoe".
 
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My previous record for masturbating to completion in a single calendar day was five times. I am pretty sure that it is been over 10 years since I set that record, and it still holds strong, but today I tied that for the first time since setting it.

And I think I hit five times again today... I need to get out of this apartment more often...
 
I've sent it back; that radio thing I bought on E-Bay.
Why the 'Ell can't anyone describe the item properly is beyond me.

Satisfaction will come with the refund!
 
What do you mean, "you think..."??

Surely you can remember five times with bit more certainty?

Carry on... oh wait, you have been!

I think it was 5, but if someone made a strong argument, I could believe it was only 4.

__

We have power back in the office! I'm back at work! :D
 
Oh, really, ?
I seldom bother, but I live in a sort-of valley and it rarely gerts deep enough to worry much

There are some advantages to living by the sea. Snow usually comes with a northerly wind. That blows the snow past my house, and if the wind is strong enough provides an instant salt spray to clear ice and snow.

50 yards further inland? They might have lying snow and miss the salt spray while the pavements and road around my house is clear.

One of the disadvantages? I've had to wash my ground floor windows with fresh water three times this week to remove the salt deposits so I can see the sea. :rolleyes:
 
There are some advantages to living by the sea. Snow usually comes with a northerly wind. That blows the snow past my house, and if the wind is strong enough provides an instant salt spray to clear ice and snow.

50 yards further inland? They might have lying snow and miss the salt spray while the pavements and road around my house is clear.

One of the disadvantages? I've had to wash my ground floor windows with fresh water three times this week to remove the salt deposits so I can see the sea. :rolleyes:

I think that makers of 'windows-for-houses' should have takena leaf from the makers of "windows-for-cars" and equipped some windows with some sort of auto-cleaning device, like windscreen wipers.

We now have a couple of inches of snow on the ground.
I'm staying in.
 
And now we have a couple of more inches of snow and it's still falling.
I ain't seen it this bad in a long, long time.
And it's Effin' cold.
 
I’ve snow plowed a path to the propane tank, and now that I look at it, it looks like a penis. :devil:
 
I was told by the locals that I wouldn't need my leather jacket again after moving here. The last three days I needed it because the temperature dropped to to 40s...
 
I've just been checking over some secondhand toys as possible stocking fillers for the grandchildren.

I can't check one. It needs three C-size batteries. I knew I had some in the box of spare batteries. I checked the charge with a voltmeter - nothing, dead, flat.

I looked at the use by date...

1997

I think I need some new C-size batteries before Christmas. :rolleyes:
 
I've just been checking over some secondhand toys as possible stocking fillers for the grandchildren.

I can't check one. It needs three C-size batteries. I knew I had some in the box of spare batteries. I checked the charge with a voltmeter - nothing, dead, flat.

I looked at the use by date...

1997

I think I need some new C-size batteries before Christmas. :rolleyes:

Good Luck, Ogg.
 
Tonight, after a largish middday meal out with the grandchildren I decided to try a blast from my past:

A Vesta Chow Mein.

Back in the 1960s I used to eat Vesta dried food packets often. The basic rooms I lived in didn't have freezers nor even fridges. Cooking was usually done on a single gas or electric ring. Vesta food was easy to keep - for years if necessary - and easy to prepare.

But tonight's Chow Mein needed 1/2 litre of boiling water, two times five minutes in a microwave, and if I wanted the crispy noodles I needed a deep fat fryer. I should have bought a Pot Noodle instead.

In the 1960s Vesta food tasted awful. Tonight's flavour was much better but it wasn't instant food. I could have bought a chilled chow mein and microwaved it in five minutes for a better version.

I'm pleased that I tried Vesta again. It is much better than in the 1960s but I prefer, and can afford, real food. But I'm not deep fat frying anything!
 
I wonder if your local chiop shop would cook that for you ?

One of my local chip shops does:

Fish and Chips
Burgers
Pizza
Kebabs
Chinese
Indian

and in the recent food inspection scored a magnificent 1 star (out of 5 for food hygiene). That is an improvement on their inspection two years ago. They scored zero and were immediately banned from selling food until they had deep-cleaned their kitchen.

The two fish and chip shops I go to scored 5 stars - again.
 
There are mods here now? Wow. Who'd a thunk it?

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. How the heck are ya? Long time no see.

Yeah, we have an AH Mod and he does a pretty good job of controlling the trashier side of things. He's been around long enough to know what is what and who is what, not to mention where a lot of the old skeletons are buried.
 
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