Dear X:

Dear Universe...

Could you please arrange a small windfall sometime within the next few months? I'll be testing for my black belt in December, and I still lack a set of sais ($165), a set of kamas ($120), a katana ($400+), and a dress gi ($160). I rarely ask for anything for myself, but I could really use a little help.

Thanks in advance,

Cloudy

*************

eta: Wow! That was FAST! Sais and kamas taken care of...Thanks!
 
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Dear Saturn

could you please get the fuck out of my venus in the secondary horoscope? Please go al least three signs further.

I love to write, I love to read what I wrote, I have enough in my head that wants to come out in words, I have enough time to write, but it's always the same with you, in everything I do: when it comes to create something of real value for me, you want me to feel bad, like a murderer who is closed to be overtaken by his conscience.

I'm innocent! Of whatever!

Could you please fuck Matrose Jürgen instead? He won 10 000 Euro and don't know what to do with it. I'm not as fat as he is. No, I don't beg for money, all I want is......

Please get the fuck out of my venus.

Popping Tom
 
Dear X,

Today was difficult, nerve-wracking, anxiety provoking, but worth it. Thank you for getting me through it.

I still want to smack you for putting me in that position...

:kiss:
C
 
Dear the-universe,

Why the heck is it so hard for a guy to find something cute but innocuous for a girl he likes? I visited every store I could think of--candy stores, drug stores, even the local sex shoppe. One of those tinfoil chocolate roses would've worked just fine! But no, nothing.

Sheesh.

disgruntled,
~me
 
Dear "Man Who Rocks My World",


Thank you for this morning....and this afternoon...and for every moment in between.

You have made this day the absolute best for me.


Your "Still Weak In The Knees Girl"
.


:heart::kiss::heart:


P.S. Tomorrow ~ Same Bat Time ~ Same Bat Channel
 
Dear "Lost Soul",

Happy Birthday to you!!!! :heart::rose::heart:

I sincerely hope your day has been "one for the ages", I try my best my love.

May we have many more days like this, and many birthdays together. Next year... side by side enjoying each others "gifts".

You are welcome, but in many ways, i should be thanking you.

Your "True Believer"

:kiss::rose::kiss:

P.S. I'm Batman!!!! :D ... and we have a date!:devil:
 
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Dear boss of mine,
I'm not terribly keen on this idea of yours that the department should do a retreat so we can get to know each other better.
After listening to the inane chattering, nattering, gossiping and personal phone calls of my co-workers for the last few years, I've decided they are mostly a pack of tail-wagging idiots and I already know much more about them that I'm comfortable with.
May I call in sick with uncontrollable diarrhoea that day?
j
 
Being a glutton for punishment, I posted a story in LW today. Here is a feedback I got on it:

Let ask a question
08/23/11 By: Anonymous
We always see that a husband doesn't want to do this or that in bed and therefore she can find someone that will.
Does it work in reverse? If she does give good, or any, blow jobs or doesn't do anal, can he justifiably find someone that will do that?

Well, Any Mouse, if we had a category about cheating husbands, I and many others would be writing stories similar to this one and posting them in it.

And, if I did write and post such stories in Anal or EC, I would probably be castigated by female readers, just as writers in the LW category are attacked by men. :D
 
Being a glutton for punishment, I posted a story in LW today. Here is a feedback I got on it:

Let ask a question
08/23/11 By: Anonymous
We always see that a husband doesn't want to do this or that in bed and therefore she can find someone that will.
Does it work in reverse? If she does give good, or any, blow jobs or doesn't do anal, can he justifiably find someone that will do that?

Well, Any Mouse, if we had a category about cheating husbands, I and many others would be writing stories similar to this one and posting them in it.

And, if I did write and post such stories in Anal or EC, I would probably be castigated by female readers, just as writers in the LW category are attacked by men. :D

Anonymous is your X? (who knew?) :D
 
Dear X,

give me more holidays please! Ones without work to do if possible...
 
Dear my-housemate,

It's just a shirt that accidentally went in the wash. Does it really require yelling? And slamming doors? And cursing? And bitching out your mother? The shirt won't be ruined (by your own admission) and you have a ton more of them, since you wear them to work. It's not the end of the world if something goes wrong, especially something this minor. It's just a shirt.

Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I try to avoid you whenever you're home?

your housemate,
~me
 
How dare you send me an email like that and then refuse to talk to me? You never say what you mean. It's all about manipulation and subtlety with you. Just fucking come out and say it right to my face for once.

I think you're unhinged.
 
Dear EM,

I didn't steal your job. You lost it for not caring enough about your work and treating others like crap. If you'd showed even a hint of real decency and drive maybe it would have been a hard decision for the bosses to choose which of us stayed.

We used to be the best of friends, but you continuously aspire to being judgmental, jealous and mediocre in your endeavors. Consequently you have made nothing of your life. Stop blaming me for your mess.

~ME
 
Dear The Universe,

While I appreciate the one last chance to lounge around with no clothes on, 90 degrees is a bit excessive for the back end of September.

boilingly,
~me
 
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the idiot
08/24/11 By: Anonymous
The idiot back and has all his sickos writing in comments, too bad we couldn't get them all in a boat and let them loose in the north atlantic in winter and see if their sick minds could get them home.



I appreciate your scholarly and highly literate critique of my writing. :rolleyes:: Now, how about kissing my ass. :D
 
Because of its stupidity, your comment still remains one of my favorites:

fucking no good piece of writing
12/02/05 By: Anonymous in india
hey u fucking ass this piece of writinf is a piece of shit y dont u go and let santa clause go fuck u and suckur little dick that cant even satisfy a baby ,people might even think ur a woman with a tight pussy .fucking no god slut face cock sucking ass like u .
 
Because of its stupidity, your comment still remains one of my favorites:

fucking no good piece of writing
12/02/05 By: Anonymous in india
hey u fucking ass this piece of writinf is a piece of shit y dont u go and let santa clause go fuck u and suckur little dick that cant even satisfy a baby ,people might even think ur a woman with a tight pussy .fucking no god slut face cock sucking ass like u .

One might get the impression that English is not 'Anon. in India's' second language, or third or fourth ... :rolleyes:
 
Dear X,

Please keep him safe out there. He asked too, so that has to mean something.



Signed,

Me
 
Dear My Muse,

Why can't you be turn-on-able, like a faucet? I'm only 16 measures in and I'm already out of ideas. I need some jazz chords and a way to kick-start the tempo, stat.

Don't abandon me now. You've already helped me write 16 of the best and most dramatic measures I've ever managed. We've got something good going here, I just know it. Come back and let's finish what we started.

with love and pleading,
~me
 
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