How do I explain D/s?

DirtyPet

Really Experienced
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Jan 9, 2010
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I've recently met someone who just got out of prison..he had been in for 30yrs. He is EXTREMELY dominant, but being locked up 30yrs, he has never come across BDSM.


Is it possible for a submissive to train a Dom? Where do I begin? Any recommended threads, books?

Thank you for any help...
 
I used to see a guy who spent 15 years in prison, same thing seemed to be really dominant, really it was just that he had a lot of ummm pent up sexual aggression to get rid of and he was like a dog, fucking everything he could (seriously it was hilarious watching girls underwear almost fall off when he told them about his prison time). Funnily enough he would really only have anal sex.

Needless to say it didn't last long, the sex was just roughish, kinkyish vanilla sex, he wasn't interested in all the BDSM trappings at all.
 
I've recently met someone who just got out of prison..he had been in for 30yrs. He is EXTREMELY dominant, but being locked up 30yrs, he has never come across BDSM.

30 years, eh?

Maybe start explaining smartphones, the internet, eBooks, mp3 music, 3D television ...
 
30 years, eh?

Maybe start explaining smartphones, the internet, eBooks, mp3 music, 3D television ...

Hehe. Austin Powers moment.


OP, sounds like this should be a gimme. Like training a squirrel to find nuts or iron to rust.
 
I've recently met someone who just got out of prison..he had been in for 30yrs. He is EXTREMELY dominant, but being locked up 30yrs, he has never come across BDSM.


Is it possible for a submissive to train a Dom? Where do I begin? Any recommended threads, books?

Thank you for any help...
Sure you can. It's not uncommon for a submissive to be the most knowledgeable of the two in a relationship. And just because he's been in prison for 30 years doesn't mean his sexual urges are no longer there. But, they have been festering for that long. He might explode into something of a dominant robot! :D

If I were you, I'd go slow. Treat him like a newbie, but he's a different kind of newbie. If his sexual urges are in tune with BDSM, he could go into dom overload after finding out about it. Let him read stories that you find interesting, to see if he also finds them interesting. Be sure to explain the dynamics of BDSM, the safe words, the safe, sane and consensual aspects of it all, so he knows he has to control himself, if his desires want to take over. Just because he's extremely dominant doesn't mean he knows how to be a dom. There is more to it than just feeling dominant.

It's no big deal if the submissive ends up showing the dom how to do things. For a while, just act like a teacher and show him what you like doing, and ask him what he things he would like doing. Hopefully, after a while, he'll get the hang of everything and you're on your way to some fun times.

EDITED TO ADD:
Oh, I'm not up on the books that would fit for this kind of training, but I know there are some. Hopefully, somebody else will come along and have the book reading knowledge to point you in that direction.
 
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There's a tonne of resources online - but it might be worth sending out some feelers to see if he's interested first. It may just be that he's dominant without any interest in the BDSM side of things. If he is interested - great. Get him some books and some printed matter to read, and then sit down and watch some porn together and discuss.
 
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