My Zombie Shelter (open to everyone)

She was tenderly kissing and nipping at my thumb while explainig the way she had felt. I wanted so much to show her how I felt, but I thought it best to let he set the pace. Maybe she would let me know when she was ready.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I know exactly what it's like to want and need. We are relative strangers, but there is this...this...connection with you that..."
This was so difficult, but I couldn't stop myself. We were actually talking and I didn't want the moment to slip away.
"You stand up to me, yet sometimes I know I scare you. Shit, sometimes I scare myself with the person that I have become, but still, you don't back down and I like that. I like that you have fought to stay alive and have this underlying fierceness that both terrifies me and excites me."
I inched my lips just a little closer.
"I know you don't love me Pandora, I realize that...and I can wait...as long as you need, I just...I don't want to be alone anymore. If you could just trust me, you will see...the man I was...the man I could be again. I can wait."

I looked at him, those soulful eyes and I could see my own little green irises in them. "I have always stood up against Joel. I will stand up for what I believe in, I won't let anyone bully me." I could almost feel the spark in my eyes flash in the dark as I looked at him. "You do scare me, but sometimes, sometimes I see something in you that is from your heart."

I moved my hand away from the front of my robe, and traced my thumb over his lower lip. "That fierce side of you excites me too." I felt my cheeks redden. He was inching closer to me. "I would never ask anyone to wait for me, I wouldn't be that selfish." He was a breath away from me. I looked at his lips, and held my breath.

It was a tipping point. I felt her thumb gently slide over my lower lip, and I caught it midway with a gentle kiss.
"Just tell me hon...please, just tell me what you want." I whispered.
We were so close that I could feel her breath on my face. I searched her eyes for some clue as to what she needed or wanted from me. In my head it was clear, but I wanted to hear her say it, to express it out loud.
"Please baby...."

I looked at him as he kissed my thumb, and rested my forehead against his.

"I want this. I want ... I want you." I pulled my hand back and clutched it at my chest. My face was flushed with heat and I bowed my head a little. "I know this is strange..." My brow furrowed and I just kept my head down and rested it against the pillow.

She had lowered her eyes from mine and had balled herself tightly. I laid my hand on her arm.
"Pandora...you know there's no rush right. We have time to get to know each other."
I was trying to be serious but lighten things up just a touch. She seemed so torn and confused and sad.
"You know...you haven't even seen my bad side yet. you might not believe this, but I can be a bit of an asshole at times."

"I know," I whispered, looking up at him again. I moved my body forward a little, closing the space between our mouths. "You are an asshole. You keep making me wait to kiss you."

Well, that was it. Do or die. The ball was in his court now.

Her mouth covered mine and suddenly the world around us disappeared and we were the only two on the planet. My head quit throbbing, my face didn't hurt and the various other aches and pains drifted away as a distant memory.
Our kiss was tentative at first, at least on my part, as if we were testing the water to see if the other really wanted this. My hand drifted from her arm to her back pulling her tighter to me.
At the dart of her tongue a fire within me began to build. It had been so long since I had felt the touch of another, that the sudden contact almost frightened me. The two of us had almost killed each other over the last few days. We had argued, and fought, cursing each other's shortcomings, but now all was forgotten as our tongues began the turbulent dance of passion.

I was trembling, my right hand inching up to gently cup the side of his face and my fingers stroked his ear very slightly. Our lips were pressed together, my tongue flicked out and I found his teeth and then his tongue which was searching for mine. When they touched I couldn't help but groan a little. It had been so long. My body was a bundle of tension and nervousness.

His hand found my back and it sent electricity through me as I slid my own hands over his chest, feeling his body, and then to his back where I tentatively dug my nails in as our mouths and bodies pressed together.

I felt guilty. But this need driving me was ruling out any sensible thought I had as I kissed him. I pulled back, nibbling on his lower lip and looking up at him through my lashes.

Her hands caressed my face and neck then chest, making their way to my back where her nails pawed and clawed at my shirt. As the first wave of our kiss subside she lay looking at me through her lashes while nipping and kissing my lower lip.
I was alive and every synapse and nerve fired rapidly and repeatedly coursing through me. I wanted, no I needed her. I needed to feel like something other than the animal I had become. I needed to feel passion and desire from a partner willing to receive all that I could give.
I could feel the trembling of her body through the thin fabric of her robe as my fingers aimlessly caressed her back, being mindful of her injury. I could every twitch and contraction of her miscles as my hand made it's way lower below her cut towards her bottom. I started planting light kisses on her chin and jawline, curling my fingers in her hair gently pulling her head allowing me access. Her skin was so soft and delicate and my tongue would preface every kiss with a quick lick.
I wanted her, I wanted to taste and feel and explore every inch of her body, but I had to be sure she wanted to. As my hand caressed her ass, I move back to meet her eyes.
"Are you sure?" I whispered silently hoping that I knew her answer.

I was sure if I spoke I was barely coherent. I hooked my leg around his, my body shivering as his hand touched my bottom. I hadn't felt such lust in so long, and my mind was yelling at me that this was a bad move, this was a terrible idea. But I wanted his mouth on me, kissing me, nipping me. I wanted to feel alive, to be touched and feel something in my bones that wasn't fear. I kissed up his jawline, running my teeth along his stubble until I reached his ear. He was kissing my neck and I nipped on his lobe and groaned breathily. My leg tightened around his as I felt him move back.

Are you sure?

I looked at him, his eyes were dark and smouldering. I sighed, my hands moving up his back and grasping his shoulders. I kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm not sure of anything anymore. Not my feelings, not the future. All I'm sure of is that a lot of crazy stuff has brought us here." I looked up at him, not sure of what I was trying to say. But the fact that our bodies were winding around each other was surety enough. Even though it was probably going to lead to disaster. I looked between his eyes and his mouth. "This is a terrible idea..." I whispered. "But I'm good at terrible ideas... And god knows I can't help it..."

I wasn't making sense but I didn't care as I kissed him again, my hands tangling in his hair and pulling him to me desperately. I groaned into his open mouth. I wanted to feel alive.

All of the uncertanty and fear that I felt as we embraced vanished as she kissed me ferociously, moaning into my mouth. Her leg was wrapped around me and the playful exploration of my hand chaned to firm kneading of her ass, pulling her pelvis to me. On instinct I thrust my pelvis grinding into her seeking her warmth.
My fingers began curling, pulling the robe up her leg to expose the flesh I so longed to touch and taste. Her fingers pulled and stoked my hair in a frenzy of want and need. We would kiis each others necks and ears before once again allowing our tonges and lips collide and tangle.
I could feel her twisting and moving seeking closeness to the stranger that she now desired to love.
I wanted more of her, I wanted to kiss and lick every inch of her writhing body. I started a trail of kiss don her neck to her collarbone. My hand leaves her ass just long enough to release the tie of the robe, opening it allowing me to, for the first time, gaze upon her body.
"So beautiful." I whispered to no one as I looked at her shapely form, pausing only moments before continuing my path of kisses toward her delicate charms.

I could feel the cold as my robe fell undone. But it was his eyes on me that made me more nervous. My body was reacting either to the cold or to his eyes, and instinctively I moved my hands away to cover my indecency. I hadn't been this nervous in ages, but then it had been almost a year since I had any kind of intimacy. I hadn't even touched myself since before Mara had been born. I looked at him, surveying me and my heart lurched. I felt like I was going to cry. Here I was, after two days, naked in front of a clean stranger. My heart ached. I hadn't missed Joel this keenly in a while. What was I doing? What kind of wife am I... Was I...

My lip trembled and I sank my teeth into it to hold my resolve. Strange what desire will make foolish people do. That song popped into my head and it made my chest ache even more, I gasped for steadying breaths and my chest heaved, trying my utmost not to cry as I avoided his gaze. I reached down and started to remove his shirt, concentrating and plant little butterfly kisses along his neck.

God, this was torture. I wonder did he feel the same, as I pulled his shirt away and ran my hands over him. Did he ache for his wife, did he feel the guilt? God I felt like my heart was going to bleed away inside me. "Please..." I begged as I crushed myself to him again, sucking against his shoulder and trembling, kissing him and raking my nails along his lower back.

When the robe fell away she recoiled form me and covered herself. Had I gone too far too fast? Did she want this, did she want me? Did she just want me to hold her? I was so confused and these questions rolled over and over in my head causing me to stop everything and search her eyes and face for answers.
It had been so long since I had been with anyone. Not weeks or months, but years. After I lost Fiona I became convinced that no one else would want me and later that I didn't deserve to be wanted after what I had done.
I had promised Pan that I would never hurt her, and had said over and over that she could trust me yet as she laid there, ttrembling and biting her lip, I felt like I was betraying her. I had started to move away when she reched for the buttons of my shirt. Slowly one by one she unfastened each one before opening it to allow her hands to touch and caress my chest.
"Please." she cried faintly as she pressed herself against my torso and surrounded me with her arms. Her fingernails scratched and clawed at my lower back while she kissed my shoulder and neck.
Every action communicated a need and desire that I shared yet it seemd that she was holding back. There was something keeping her from wanting this because she wanted to be with me. It was as if she were looking to quench a thirst that she had been carrying for a lifetime, and I was the only one there to offer help.
I wanted her, every fiber of my being was fighting to ravage her and make her mine, but there was a part pf me that wanted to stop. As rediculous as it seemed even to me, I didn't want to just take her. I didn't want to just be a surrogate for some asshole that didn't have the stones to protect the woman that he loved. I wanted her to want me, the monster, and I was afraid that if we fucked, she could never look at me with eyes filled with more than just need.
"Pandora..." I whispered as i hed her tight to me. I closed my eyes in preparation for the fallout from my next words.
"...we can't."

We can't.

I put my hands against him but I didn't push. I just nodded and kept my head down. I'd made a terrible mistake. I was practically sucking on my lower lip and cursing every fibre in my body and mind for what I'd done. I whispered "I'm sorry", and I sat up, pulling the robe over my shoulder. I could feel the colour drain from my face and I smiled sardonically at myself.

Of course we couldn't. We had hurt each other so much in less than two days. I took a steadying breath, and gathered my wits about me. And more importantly, my defences. "You're right. It would be stupid. Especially given everything that's happening around us." I couldn't look at him, I couldn't understand why I was hurting. I thought he had wanted me too, how stupid was I being. I just wanted to get out of there. My voice was starting to crack and I coughed hackingly. "I should go..." I stood up, pulling the robe around me so tight that it caught and strained on my stitches. I didn't care. He was looking at me and my emotions were everywhere. I was hurt, rejected, upset, humiliated. I didn't know what to say, standing there before him dressed like this, with my heart open.

I opened my mouth to speak and found the words caught in my throat. I was white as a sheet. I closed my mouth and forced a smile, before simply turning around and making my way down the stairs. Being alone was better, anyway.

As always, one of us had taken to flight. The fear or anxiety of confrontation seemed to constantly compell us to run, instead of facing one another and communicating what we felt. In a flash she had gooten up and apologized and retreated down the stairs to get away.
I'd had enough. We couldn't connect because we wouldn't let ourselves. Each time we would break down a barrier between us, we would build ten more to protect ourselves. That ended tonight.
I gritted my teeth held my breath as the now renewed pain from my fall tore through as I made my way to my feet. As quickly as I could I stumbled down the stairs and caught up to her just before she entered the house.
"Pandora wait!" I said a little louder than I should have. I grabbed for her arm and spun her around to face me.
"Pandora please. Talk to me. Let me explain."
She was struggling to get away, but I held tight to her arm.
"Goddamit, just listen for a minute!"
It was time to lay it out. I didn't give a fuck if she ended up killing me, but I had had enough of the bullshit. It wasn't all her fault, I was equally to blame, but this trying to find comfort while prtecting ourselves didn't work for me.
"I don't know what you think happened up there, but I didn't reject you. Jesus, can't you see how much I want you? Do you think I like putting us both through the fights and the pain? I want to be with you, not just tonight or for just ONE night, I want us to...to become a team. I want you to trust me and care about me, and maybe someday love me, but I can't keep trying to compete with a ghost. I know you lost someone, but we have all lost someone. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Fiona and Ethan, but they are gone! I know she loved me and part that means that she would want me to move on. Part of that has been spending years searching for a way to forgive myself for the shit I have done. I thought that meeting you was...I dunno... a sign, that is was ok to live again. If you don't want to be with me, Fine! But goddammit, I deserve for it to be because of me and our differences and not the memory of a man that would rather have sacrificed HIMSELF, than be there to protect you or die trying. I may be a lot of things, but I ain't a coward. I'm here, out in the open for everyone to hear, telling you...no asking you for a chance. All I want is for you you tell me why we don't deserve it."

I looked around, wondering if his outburst had awoken Mike or Max. "You're hurting my arm!" I hissed as I pulled it back, wrenching it from his grasp and fleeing inside the house. He followed me, like I knew he would, and gave me an emotional diatribe about our lost loved ones. I closed the door in his face as he ranted, and I got dressed. I stood on the other side of the door as he continued.

I deserve for it to be because of me and our differences and not the memory of a man that would rather have sacrificed HIMSELF, than be there to protect you or die trying

I put my hands on the door and started to cry in earnest. He was right. Joel hadn't been taken from me, he had chosen to go. His voice seemed to change, he probably heard me crying. I opened the door again, my arms hugged around myself in defence.

All I want is for you you tell me why we don't deserve it.

I looked up at him, the tears running down my face, my emerald eyes swimming before me. I was a horrible crier. My face just went red and my lips literally curled like a three year old's. I ran my hands through my hair and gasped in a breath through the sobs. "Because everything is ending, Randy. We are in a dying world, and everyone we loved is gone, and what right have I to be happy after everything I have done?" I wiped my cheeks. "I know Joel left me, and you aren't competing with a ghost, and I do want to try. God knows I want to try, but sometimes you just annoy me so fucking much I want to smash your face in, and other times I just want you to be holding me, like someone who genuinely cares..." I could barely speak, my throat was raw. "I thought I was being stupid, like some teenager, like a stupid kid but I thought you only wanted one thing...." I wiped my eyes again, sobbing into my hands. "We keep fucking up. We are still alive through this, and we are messes." I coughed again and looked up at him. "There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built on both sides. You have to learn if we're even the same people we were. If you can fit in each others' lives. It's a long and important process, and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?"

I had said my piece and she had responded in kind. I stood there, breathing heavily, rolling her words over and over through my head. Our eyes were locked. We were at the point where the time for talking was over and a decision that could impact us forever needed to be made.
I stepped closer to her never letting our eyes break contact. The tears were streaming down her face and she was trembling, waiting for my response. My shirt was hanging open from my shoulders and I shrugged it off letting it it the floors. All of my scars and bruises told a story of violence and pain, of survival and triumph, yet the memories of how I got them paled to in comparison to the way I felt right now. I was angry and turned on, but most of all scared. She was asking me to put aside everything I had ever known and take a leap of faith.
I lifted my hand and wiped away the tears still streaming of her eyes before wrapping my arms around her and pulling her to me.
"I'm sorry." I said before gently pressing my lips to hers.

He held me in his tight embrace, and kissed me. It was gentle, caring, almost loving. And I couldn't take it through the sobs. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried sore. His body was covered in scars, like everyone nowadays, and there were more between us that we couldn't see. I put my arms around his neck and just clung to him. "Please stop apologising," I said. "There isn't time for apologies and regrets anymore." I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes.

Where do we go from here? I thought. My face was probably all red and blotchy and my eyes were still streaming as I moved back. We were both a mix of emotions. I was full of fury and confusion and driven by the need to have him with me, beside me. I looked down at his body, there were scars here and there. I pushed his arms down to his sides, and I held his waist, and I kissed every single one on his chest, slowly, languorously. I wanted to show him I wasn't wasting his time, and even though I wanted him passionately and frantically, I could be gentle. I resisted the urge to just beg him to take me, even though it killed me. I just wanted to feel something, and he was here with me. But I was so worried that he would tell me to stop again... I drew back, looking at him, waiting.

Jane

The song ain’t no rest for the wicked rang inside of Jane’s ears, how true this all had become for her. She was on the move again, the felicity had been compromised and now she was in the middle of nowhere looking for somewhere she could find refuge in for a few nights before having to move again. Jane worked for the Emergency management in Washington, she had been in the meetings trying to devise a plan. Of course they all thought she was insane when she tried to bring up the apocalypse now though she would have the last laugh, of course that would do her no good.

She was a skilled fighter and survivalist that was how she had managed to stay alive as long as she had. She trusted no one, and never traveled in a pack. No traveling alone was easier; it was easier to hide and to keep the creatures away from her. She had food and water in her pack on her back, her torso was lined with weapons between guns, explosives and knives and swords. She was no fool the quieter she could be the better off she was.

Her long black hair was pulled up in a high tight pony tail, she wore a pair of dingy jeans that were torn and had blood and mud smeared over them, she wore a black tank top that displayed Metallica on the front and a leather jacket over it. Along with a pair of black combat boots, she wasn’t only prepared for war she clearly showed she was. The girly business was never something she ever put much time into, sure she liked men, desired them she just wasn’t all about dresses and trying to impress.

Her life before this was good, she was excellent with her job, she had worked with DOD and even select military groups especially black ops and seals. They had always been her favorite the ones no one knew anything about only thought they did. She had worked with several people in power and so many had laughed her off. Now they were all mostly dead or close to death. She had been on the move for what felt like an eternity she didn’t know the last time she had ran into civilization. She hated not getting to talk to anyone or have a beer. Ooh how she missed her beer.

Her iPod kept her company now though and thankfully enough she had figured away to keep it charged this long. Solar power was going a long way for her. There had been so many good ideas that had crossed her desk to prepare for this and so many of them just throw out, of course Jane was no idiot and made sure to take note of a few things.

Looking she saw the complex sitting in the middle of nowhere. Looking around she checked her surroundings before heading towards it. Coming up to the gate she tried opening and it wouldn’t budge, her first attempt was shaking it back in forth till she finally began pounding on it. She could hear noises in the distance and that was never a good sign. The adrenaline began pumping through her veins once again and now she had very little time. Hopefully there was someone inside, someone who would hear her.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as she gently kissed the scars on my chest and torso. Slowly and deliberately covering each one with the soft lips that moments ago had been pressed to mine. Her hands had dropped to my waist holding me still as she continued to taste up and down my upper body. The frantic woman consumed by want and need in the tower had seemingly transformed into a slow methodical lover. I moaned and gasp at each touch relishing its tenderness.
When she stood back our eyes locked once again and I could see a silent pleading, to just let go; to live in the moment, with her. I lifted my hands to the belt securing her robe. We continued to gaze at each other, neither of us even blinking as with a gentle pull, the belt and robe opened. I placed my hands on her hips under the garment enjoying the feel of this yet unexplored area of her thin body. Slowly sliding them up her waist and sides to her shoulder where with a gentle push I send her covering sliding to floor to lie in a crumpled heap at her feet.
She was the first woman I had seen nude since Fiona and though the differences were subtle, they added to the allure of being with Pan. My mind filled with thoughts of the new touches, tastes and aromas of her body. I closed the distance between us gently wrapping her in my arms and setting my lips upon hers. This time I would not get in our way.

My breath caught in my throat as the robe billowed on the floor. My shoulders shifted a little, and I glanced down at my hip, and the tattoo there. Carpe Jugulum. I blushed a little, placing my hand along it. It looked smaller now, that I'd lost so much weight since the outbreak. I looked up at Randy and he was staring at me. I barely had enough time to open my arms to him when he stepped forward and kissed me. My arms linked around his shoulders, behind his neck and he pulled me to him. I squeaked as the coldness of his belt buckle touched my stomach and made me jump, my body against his.

The kiss was relaxed, smooth, sweet. It wasn't as fiery as the one back at the tower. I hadn't kissed a man like that in a long time. It was very loving. Almost romantic. And my stomach was trying not to flip at a steady pace, my pulse thrummed in my throat and my breath was less panicked than I imagined. I stood up on my tiptoes, tightening my arms around his neck and losing myself against his lips, sighing pleasurably. His arms were strong around me, and I wasn't imagining anyone else. I was imagining him, I was right there with him, I wanted him to want me as much as I did him.

I awoke and sat bolt upright in my sleeping bag. There was no light at all inside the tent, so I sat for a moment to let the sounds seep in.

Max was up and standing at the tent fly. I could feel his bushy tail swish back and forth across my sleeping bag as he was emitting a series of short and clipped barks. They were warning barks, letting me know something was not quite right.

I then heard the pounding. I realized it was coming from the front gate of the compound. I shrugged out of my sleeping bag and found my boots and socks. I was still wearing my jeans so that was good. I grabbed the tee shirt I had had on earlier and pulled it on in the dark. I found my Glock 21, which was right beside me, and thumbed the M3 weapon-mounted light on it. I secured Max to his leash and told him to wait just outside the tent. He went into a down position.

I climbed the watchtower's steps and took a look at the gate. The light from my Glock's under-mounted flashlight lit up a respectable size area at this distance. I could see a female pounding on the gate.

I came down from the watchtower. It wasn't but a few more seconds and I had Max on lead and my Glock in my right hand. I approached the gate and pulled it open just enough to see beyond.

I pressed the weapon light's on switch with my forefinger and brought the weapon to bear on the girl at the gate. I saw a very attractive girl with a leather jacket and combat boots. I noticed her undershirt appeared to have Metallica printed on it. When I saw this, everything from The Shortest Straw to Enter Sandman to No Leaf Clover ran through my head.

Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
It's just a freight train coming your way


I got serious, though. My Glock meant business. Max was at heel, his leash shortened so I had a double-wrap of leather in my left hand. He was snarling seriously and pulling hard.

"Are you bitten?" I asked her, the light from the Insight weapon light playing into her eyes with blinding effect. I stood between her and the open area of the compound. I knew she could only see a silhouette of me, if that, and I had the tactical advantage. She might catch a glimpse of close-cropped hair or profile, but nothing defining. If she answered correctly, and a search verified her story, she could come in. Then we'd make the formal introductions.

This was so much different than the kiss in the tower. It was so tender and caring, packed with so much emotion that for a moment, I actually thought she loved me. Our tongues caressed and explored each other's mouth, instead of battled. Our heads moved slowly in a synchronized dance of passion and though we were both consumed by need and want, we took our time, getting to know one another.

Her arms were around my neck and I could tell that she was standing on her toes to reach me. I slowly retraced my trail of kisses down her neck to her collar bone. Her breathing was fast and I could still feel her trembling and I wondered if she could sense the same from me. I hadn't been with anyone since Fiona, and after I had dispatched her killer, I just decided that there would never be anyone else; that I would never again be attracted to another woman. For a long time this had been true. I had seen other women in my travels and had even been offered favors in return for food, but the temptation had never crossed my mind and I would just trudge on like I hadn't heard them.

All that changed when i met Pan though. I guess it was how we met, but mostly the way she reacted to it. She was pissed for sure, but injured, starving, and exhausted, she was still ready for a fight. Something about that spirit, that will, to continue to fight when outmatched and outgunned, reignited the fire for life I had once had within me. I had no idea where this new kind of life would take me, but I knew that I wanted to find out with her.

She let out an audible gasp as my lips encircled her nipple. Her fingers were wrapped and clenched in my hair and she was pulling me to her crushing my face into her breast. I moved my hands back to the ass that I had noticed that night, in the dark and caressed and kneaded both cheeks. I moved from one breast to another kissing a path in between, and enjoyed the feeling of her body twisting and the sighs and gntle gasps that esacped her.
I was hers for tonight and beyond whether she knew it or not.

It felt kind of like my body was singing; I could almost feel my blood rushing around inside myself joyously. I tipped my head back as his tongue moved around my nipple, and I groaned, flexing my fingers in his hair. When he moved his mouth back up to mine, I kissed him slowly and drunkenly, enjoying the feel of his arms around me, his chest against mine, and his mouth pressed on me. I sighed contentedly, slipping my hands around the top of his jeans and pulling him to the bed with me.

I sat on the edge, looking up at him as I started to undo his jeans. Slowly. He was holding my head in his hands and my cheeks flushed as I looked up. I couldn't stop imagining his body on top of mine, my breath was quickening as I thought about it. My back arched, and I began kissing down from his stomach. I was nervous, as I planted little kisses in my trail, inching toward the top of his shorts. I looked up at him as I pulled them a little with my fingers, as if asking for permission.