How do I get my former coworker into bed

Gentlewoman said:

How do I get this guy into bed?

I have been fantasizing about sex with my coworker for the longest time, but nothing has ever happened between us. Now he has left the company and lives in a different city, but we have kept in touch and I am going to visit him for 2 weeks. I am actually staying in his apartment and we are planning on taking a trip together.

I want him so badly, but I honestly don’t know how to tell him or make him notice me as a love interest. What can I do to seduce him while I’m there?

Click to expand...

You’re going to visit him in another city for two weeks, stay at his apartment, and then take a trip together? I have a feeling you won’t have to worry about him noticing you or trying to seduce him. He’s probably trying to formulate the best way to get to fuck you right now. Check back and let us know who made the first move.

Gentlewoman said:

Do you think I should drop a subtle hint now and then in my email to him? If so, what would be appropriate and not too much?

Click to expand...

The best way to end up confused and disappointed after two weeks is to pussyfoot around the subject, in my opinion. Having an unwanted advance blow up in your face and then having to deal with the fallout for two weeks isn't much better. The "I don't want to be just friends" talk can go sideways no matter when you do it, but it's much much harder when you put both of you in an awkward place because the answer is "Sorry, I don't feel the same way."

It seems to me that the best approach is to give him a good old fashioned phone call. Tell him that you're looking forward to the trip, ask if there's anything you can bring along as a house gift, and then get it out in the open before you go. Tell him that you have fond memories of working together, and now that you don't you are hoping that romance might be a possibility. See what he says. If he says, "I'd like that" then you know where you stand.

Good luck!

Gentlewoman said:

Do you think I should drop a subtle hint now and then in my email to him? If so, what would be appropriate and not too much?

Click to expand...

If you're e-mailing (sometimes it's the easiest way to communicate hard information like a flight schedule)...

Would you have have the courage to tell himShould be a bunch of other "hooks" you can put out for him to hang his lust on!

After you arrive, follow up.

loooonnnngggg

A long, warm, don't-want-to-end hug at the beginning will work wonders.

Just get naked. Guys understand that.

So any update here?
What’s been said in the emails?
When does this 2 week spell start?

Gentlewoman said:

Do you think I should drop a subtle hint now and then in my email to him? If so, what would be appropriate and not too much?

Click to expand...

I think a subtle hint would help letting him know you are interested. I just think he would feel the energy you send just being around him .

Some people have been asking how the story ended and I think you all deserve a reply.

We did not have sex.

I had a real good vacation, we had lots of fun, I think I was (And still am) a little in love with him. I was brave and asked him whether we can be more than friends. Only then did he mention that he was seeing someone else. That placed me in a very vulnerable position, but I hope I handled the situation quite well.

I guess that's life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

I don't want to write any details publically, but feel free to message me.

Brave enough to let us know, strong enough to carry on afterwards without a 7.8 Richter meltdown. Well done, you.

And who knows? Maybe the GF will fade away.

***
no loger relevant, I see.

Can only eho what TarnishedPenny said. Keep in touch. Don't press anything. Be a friend, and who knows, you might be there for him in the right moment. But don't expect or rely on that either.

*

Now, back to the more broad subject about subtle and not so subtle signals... but yes, that's a bit different situation, I was free and interested.

There was that girl. We did some things together. Then, this one day, we went to her place, there was a mundane practical reason. It could all end just then and there, but I was in no hurry to leave and she fixed drinks to us both.

Then she went to the bathroom, and when she returned her bra was gone. No outward change, just that little garment, that definitely was there before even if never registered consciously, had disappeared. And I was thinking, does that mean what I think it does, or did she indeed just decided to get more comfortable?

I didn't say anything either, I just stepped in her personal space blocking her way, in a way that could still be pretend to be, but I think clearly wasn't accidental. She looked up and a wicked smile bloomed on her lips...

It escalated fast from there, next I knew we were rolling on the floor.

And know what, if I wasn't interested I doubt I ever have noticed at all, and even if I did, probably dismissed it as nothing.

Gentlewoman said:

I was brave and asked him whether we can be more than friends.

Click to expand...

YAY for communication - while the outcome may not have been what you wished for, you had the courage to ask and you are still buddies.

NightL said:

YAY for communication - while the outcome may not have been what you wished for, you had the courage to ask and you are still buddies.

Click to expand...

And not having to keep wondering "what if I'd asked?"

Gentlewoman said:

Some people have been asking how the story ended and I think you all deserve a reply.

We did not have sex.

I had a real good vacation, we had lots of fun, I think I was (And still am) a little in love with him. I was brave and asked him whether we can be more than friends. Only then did he mention that he was seeing someone else. That placed me in a very vulnerable position, but I hope I handled the situation quite well.

I guess that's life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

I don't want to write any details publically, but feel free to message me.

Click to expand...

Congratulations!

At least you know. That is better than regret