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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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Luciden said:
Has anyone ever experienced something like that? Having to tell your master what to do? I found it very uncomfortable for myself as a sub.
Click to expand...

This is possible and it is a fine line that separates the "top from bottom" and 'give biofeedback' for improving the experience....

Many Doms consider it topping to be told and most subs hate to tell....but a frank talk would simplify things .... I know subs who would be willing to help their Masters extract the best out of them. I know this is bizarre since this appears to 'let the sub take control' but when we think...and realise that at every step in the relation when it has to be healthy, the sub should be in control.. to be able to stop when things go beyond a level(for eg; use of safe words!).

But luciden here is possibly talking of telling the Dom how to treat her... etc; This is NOT liked by subs. who wish to be lead rather than lead! If you are sure THIS is THE DOM you need then there is nothing wrong to do it in initial stages.....experienced subs are known to do this.. but still keep their place! This is tricky and a bit tense period in a Dom-sub relation, and I hope not many pass through this phase!

I do NOT know if I worded my thoughts correctly but opinions and thoughts are welcome!

--
Boobsqueeezer
 
It must be me.

There are many things I like about LDR.
(I will give a brief background for those who are fairly new here).

Andante and I met on alt. He lives in Denmark, I live in Britain. We travel to see each other every 4-6 weeks. Sometimes I head to him sometimes he heads here, so we do see each other.

He does not try to train me online or by phone. He has asked me to do specific things for him for a specific reasons, but things like orgasm denial has never happened. He has said he does not see why he should curtail my pleasure, just because he can.

We talk everyday by phone and on the net. If we are both working online we sometimes turn the web cams on so we can feel as if we are physically nearer each other. Even though to anyone else watching each other typing and concentrating on work does not sound like fun lol
We work different shift patterns so phone calls are usually timed to meet the needs of whomever is heading to bed first.


So far, it doesn't sound like D/s in terms of how many people have written here.
But it is, he owns me. He does not micro-manage me, due to it being LDR; but I am always aware that he has the final say in things.
Sometimes he says 'you will..' sometimes he says he won't make a decision for me about a particular thing.

Yes, I find LDR frustrating and difficult at times. But at other times I like my own company.
I am content to know that at some point we will live 24/7 and it won't be perfect.
I nag and worry over small things (coffee cups left all over the place), and he has a short fuse with some of the things I do.

I can't live my life constantly waiting for the future to happen, I can look ahead, but I need to live in the here and now as well.

We are lucky in that we don't have to hide our relationship, my eldest son knew what the situation was. I have no idea if my youngest son knows, he is very private but I am sure he is aware.
I have been asked leading questions and had statements made in front of me by his kids, so I am sure they also know, or at least have an astute idea. Whilst I don't want them to know details I am not ashamed for them to see that I submit willingly to their dads wishes.

I can see the difficulty with long distance domination and submission, and I understand how the mind plays tricks making you imagine situations that are upsetting.
More than once he has said something, which I have later got completely wrong in my mind as to what he meant, and as a result have been hurt, upset, low and tearful; yet it has been over nothing. An innocent remark that I misunderstood. I know that happens in r/l too, but in LDR there is no immediate way of addressing it.

All that aside there are benefits to LDR. There is the anticipation of seeing each other and mental planning of how it may be. There are times when I am bad tempered or low and I know if he were around I would pick a fight, just to allow myself an opportunity to get angry over something (Yes, not an admirable trait, but it is something I have done). There are times when I want to put on his dressing gown and wander around the house all day doing nothing but watching poor TV and reading cheap grocery store books.

As I write this I think that the geographical distance between us allows us to be selfish as well as spend time talking and being with each other.

So whilst distant submission isn't easy, it is not all bad.
 
@chromecollar:
In response to the Distant domination thread.. .at the thread below there are discussions about teledildonics...and i am working on a similar concept which I am working on, I have posted:

boobsqueeezer said:
<--------------->
I am currently too working on a similar idea.. and yes as it is mentiond for TENS unit.. taking audio input. And this input can be Master talking over yahoo or msn or skype or anything- for a vibrator....or even when used in Master's presence.. the vibrator instead of being lame inside can be connected to say a CD player which plays songs and the vibe changes intensity according to the song.. and so the Master becomes the "VJ"-> Vibrator Jockey! Or.. a "PJ" -> Pussy Jockey!

It is known that vibe when run continuously gets it 'numb' there and so lose their effect but this variation can keep tension alive for a longer time... and MIGHT(i repeat "might") be ideal orgasm torture tools....especially when used in restraint..and a from of 'no-contact-domination' (o/l or r/t)
--
Boobsqueeezer
<---------------------->

Excerpt from my post at https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=20125353&postcount=10
Click to expand...
 
Glad to hear that you and your Dom will be RT soon perminantly...

The LDR has been hard but as I have said worth it. I will be going back in January, and Me & My girl will be making it perminant in the spring. :)
 
shy slave said:
So whilst distant submission isn't easy, it is not all bad.
Click to expand...

And it was a nice detailed post...

The last line said it all :) *claps....

--
Boobsqueeezer
 
MasterPhoenix said:
Glad to hear that you and your Dom will be RT soon perminantly...

The LDR has been hard but as I have said worth it. I will be going back in January, and Me & My girl will be making it perminant in the spring. :)
Click to expand...

Congrats..

And I am really happy the way the thread keeps evolving :) Keep it alive and kicking!

--
Boobsqueeezer
 
Luciden said:
Has anyone ever experienced something like that? Having to tell your master what to do? I found it very uncomfortable for myself as a sub.
Click to expand...

For me, it depends when and how I tell him.

He doesn't see it as 'topping from the bottom' that is very different.
(Yes, I do try that, no, it doesn't work *sigh*)

I would never tell him during a scene, that would be impolite and bad mannered.

If we are discussing things afterwards or even a long time later I do speak up.
He is willing to listen but he doesn't always follow my thoughts through. To me, that is how it should be. But without my thoughts he does not have all the information he needs to make a decision.
 
boobsqueeezer said:
Congrats..

And I am really happy the way the thread keeps evolving :) Keep it alive and kicking!

--
Boobsqueeezer
Click to expand...

I am enjoying this thread, because it is something I have been dealing with for a while. And while I see the light at the end of My tunnel (FINALLY) I hope to be able to help others traverse this minefield.
 
MasterPhoenix said:
I am enjoying this thread, because it is something I have been dealing with for a while. And while I see the light at the end of My tunnel (FINALLY) I hope to be able to help others traverse this minefield.
Click to expand...

*smiles
 
Luciden said:
*dies* my master just told me I'm not allowed to cum until tomorrow. I was just about to pull up some porn and start masturbating too, I've had the "Itching" between my legs for hours now. *phew* just had to get that out of my system
Click to expand...

*giggles*

we had another thread on the orgasm denial topic in the cafe I think....

But I've been put on once a month! :eek: Needless to say I was not thrilled to get that command. *giggles*
 
shy slave said:
It must be me.

There are many things I like about LDR.
(I will give a brief background for those who are fairly new here).

Andante and I met on alt. He lives in Denmark, I live in Britain. We travel to see each other every 4-6 weeks. Sometimes I head to him sometimes he heads here, so we do see each other.

He does not try to train me online or by phone. He has asked me to do specific things for him for a specific reasons, but things like orgasm denial has never happened. He has said he does not see why he should curtail my pleasure, just because he can.

We talk everyday by phone and on the net. If we are both working online we sometimes turn the web cams on so we can feel as if we are physically nearer each other. Even though to anyone else watching each other typing and concentrating on work does not sound like fun lol
We work different shift patterns so phone calls are usually timed to meet the needs of whomever is heading to bed first.


So far, it doesn't sound like D/s in terms of how many people have written here.
But it is, he owns me. He does not micro-manage me, due to it being LDR; but I am always aware that he has the final say in things.
Sometimes he says 'you will..' sometimes he says he won't make a decision for me about a particular thing.

Yes, I find LDR frustrating and difficult at times. But at other times I like my own company.
I am content to know that at some point we will live 24/7 and it won't be perfect.
I nag and worry over small things (coffee cups left all over the place), and he has a short fuse with some of the things I do.

I can't live my life constantly waiting for the future to happen, I can look ahead, but I need to live in the here and now as well.

We are lucky in that we don't have to hide our relationship, my eldest son knew what the situation was. I have no idea if my youngest son knows, he is very private but I am sure he is aware.
I have been asked leading questions and had statements made in front of me by his kids, so I am sure they also know, or at least have an astute idea. Whilst I don't want them to know details I am not ashamed for them to see that I submit willingly to their dads wishes.

I can see the difficulty with long distance domination and submission, and I understand how the mind plays tricks making you imagine situations that are upsetting.
More than once he has said something, which I have later got completely wrong in my mind as to what he meant, and as a result have been hurt, upset, low and tearful; yet it has been over nothing. An innocent remark that I misunderstood. I know that happens in r/l too, but in LDR there is no immediate way of addressing it.

All that aside there are benefits to LDR. There is the anticipation of seeing each other and mental planning of how it may be. There are times when I am bad tempered or low and I know if he were around I would pick a fight, just to allow myself an opportunity to get angry over something (Yes, not an admirable trait, but it is something I have done). There are times when I want to put on his dressing gown and wander around the house all day doing nothing but watching poor TV and reading cheap grocery store books.

As I write this I think that the geographical distance between us allows us to be selfish as well as spend time talking and being with each other.

So whilst distant submission isn't easy, it is not all bad.
Click to expand...

I love it when you post something like this Shy because it's written so well and you are so real. All of that you've posted above really touched me. I like that you don't make things out to be perfect when they are not. You don't deny the upside even waiting to be together. It's so very cool of you. Thanks for being you.

Fury :rose:
 
the captians wench said:
*giggles*

we had another thread on the orgasm denial topic in the cafe I think....

But I've been put on once a month! :eek: Needless to say I was not thrilled to get that command. *giggles*
Click to expand...

Holy hell, I think I would have a slave revolt on My hands if I went for that...

Seriously I enjoy making her cum on command too much to only enjoy it once a month.
 
shy slave said:
It must be me.

There are many things I like about LDR.
(I will give a brief background for those who are fairly new here).

Andante and I met on alt. He lives in Denmark, I live in Britain. We travel to see each other every 4-6 weeks. Sometimes I head to him sometimes he heads here, so we do see each other.

He does not try to train me online or by phone. He has asked me to do specific things for him for a specific reasons, but things like orgasm denial has never happened. He has said he does not see why he should curtail my pleasure, just because he can.

We talk everyday by phone and on the net. If we are both working online we sometimes turn the web cams on so we can feel as if we are physically nearer each other. Even though to anyone else watching each other typing and concentrating on work does not sound like fun lol
We work different shift patterns so phone calls are usually timed to meet the needs of whomever is heading to bed first.


So far, it doesn't sound like D/s in terms of how many people have written here.
But it is, he owns me. He does not micro-manage me, due to it being LDR; but I am always aware that he has the final say in things.
Sometimes he says 'you will..' sometimes he says he won't make a decision for me about a particular thing.

Yes, I find LDR frustrating and difficult at times. But at other times I like my own company.
I am content to know that at some point we will live 24/7 and it won't be perfect.
I nag and worry over small things (coffee cups left all over the place), and he has a short fuse with some of the things I do.

I can't live my life constantly waiting for the future to happen, I can look ahead, but I need to live in the here and now as well.

We are lucky in that we don't have to hide our relationship, my eldest son knew what the situation was. I have no idea if my youngest son knows, he is very private but I am sure he is aware.
I have been asked leading questions and had statements made in front of me by his kids, so I am sure they also know, or at least have an astute idea. Whilst I don't want them to know details I am not ashamed for them to see that I submit willingly to their dads wishes.

I can see the difficulty with long distance domination and submission, and I understand how the mind plays tricks making you imagine situations that are upsetting.
More than once he has said something, which I have later got completely wrong in my mind as to what he meant, and as a result have been hurt, upset, low and tearful; yet it has been over nothing. An innocent remark that I misunderstood. I know that happens in r/l too, but in LDR there is no immediate way of addressing it.

All that aside there are benefits to LDR. There is the anticipation of seeing each other and mental planning of how it may be. There are times when I am bad tempered or low and I know if he were around I would pick a fight, just to allow myself an opportunity to get angry over something (Yes, not an admirable trait, but it is something I have done). There are times when I want to put on his dressing gown and wander around the house all day doing nothing but watching poor TV and reading cheap grocery store books.

As I write this I think that the geographical distance between us allows us to be selfish as well as spend time talking and being with each other.

So whilst distant submission isn't easy, it is not all bad.
Click to expand...

We do a lot of that stuff too. Infact I remember one time he had me turn on my cam and I was all but asleep with him watching me for a while before he went off to work. When he did sign off and I went back to sleep, it made me feel like he was watching me some how.

And I know what you mean about mis inturpreting things too. Infact that's what a majority of our arguments are over. Either somethign I said, that came out wrong or he misunderstood my meaning as it was just text, or something that I misunderstood that he said, or even misread.

Some of the things he requires of me I don't understand. Like no underware. If I was there I'd fully get it, but there is no chance of randomly bumping into him or him surprising me, so he's not likely to reap the binifits of me being braless so I asked why require it of me. his answer was simple, "I always require it of my subs". Fair enough I guess. I'm his first long distance sub, and he's pretty much the only Master I've submitted to on a full term basis so we learn a lot together.

Oh, and for those who don't know....the orgasm control was my sugestion. *giggles* I'll have to find that thread.
 
ChromeCollar said:
I suspect that at that time I will need support more than anything. I cant fathom having to walk away from him and get back on the plane. Hope he brings a cattle prod to get me moving or something equally painful.
Click to expand...

i know what you mean, and it was the hardest thing for me to walk away while He boarded the plane. i will remember that day forever. it hurt, and that night, i dont' think i've ever cried that much or felt that lost. when we were at the airport, and it was almost time, He just leaned over, kissed me, whispered in my ear 'I'm going to go ahead and get in line, just go, don't look back' at that point we walked to security, i THINK He kissed me one more time and then i turned from Him and walked away, however, we still had a hold of eachother's hand and i'm not even sure when we let go, i just know that i got a little ways away, and was about to turn the corner and i HAD to turn around, but He was already gone when i looked back. i got home and felt so lost, so empty. for a week i had had Him by my side and then He was just gone. i did have someone to call if needed but i didn't want to bother them so i tried to deal with it on my own i layed on my bed crying for what seemed like hours, and then i called Him and left a message on His voice mail and i dont' think He understood a word i said..LOL..it was aweful..but then i went and sat at my computer and our friend who was supposed to be my support was online. i IMd her and she helped me through it. she gave me 'orders' to do before He was able to talk to me again, and that helped. i'll have to explain that relationship more later i think lol..but the reason i originally wantedto reply to this was to tell you that yes, you will need support and alot of it, and it's good to have a place like this to come to. now in my next post i will introduce myself since this one has become long enough! LOL
 
MasterPhoenix said:
Holy hell, I think I would have a slave revolt on My hands if I went for that...

Seriously I enjoy making her cum on command too much to only enjoy it once a month.
Click to expand...

*giggles*

he thinks it's fun :rolleyes:

I do like to beg and plead, and I've gotten a lot of practice at it as the friends who introduced me to BDSM required it of me. And my ex was the one to teach me to cum on command, but one of those friends perfected to where he (and a few others) can now come up, give me a hug, and whisper "cum now" in my ear in a sturn tone and I'm a pile of orgasmic puddy. :eek: I think he's enjoying my pleading, and actually he hasn't really put me into once a month because he missed the day I was suposed to get my orgasm, so he gave me 10 to spend when and how I choose. :D Hopefully next month will be the same.
 
boobsqueeezer said:
This thread is dedicated to this group of Online Masters and ONLINE subs/slaves. So in an attempt to create a small corner for such like-minded individuals, this thread is dedicated.QUOTE]

this is a great idea and i'm glad someone started it. my name is rose (obviously) and i am slave to MasterPhoenix *smiles*. i'm sure He's already introduced Himself and said a little about our relationship so i hope i'm not being redunant in that regard. we have been together for a little over 3 years and all 3 have been online, until recently. Sept 28th He flew here from California (i'm in Indiana) to see me. it was the best week of my life and i've not been the same since He left. so many times we've gone in chat rooms on Yahoo and been put down for our relationship because it wasn't 'Real life' to me, and to Him, it's ALWAYS been real life. i've never lied to Him, when He's punished me, i've carried out the punishment. if you are serious about this type of relationship, it has to be real. or it becomes just a game and games with someone else's emotions is not something i enjoy. anyway, it's nice to see that Him and i are not alone, and i hope to meet many new friends *smiles*
Click to expand...
 
lil_slave_rose said:
i know what you mean, and it was the hardest thing for me to walk away while He boarded the plane. i will remember that day forever. it hurt, and that night, i dont' think i've ever cried that much or felt that lost. when we were at the airport, and it was almost time, He just leaned over, kissed me, whispered in my ear 'I'm going to go ahead and get in line, just go, don't look back' at that point we walked to security, i THINK He kissed me one more time and then i turned from Him and walked away, however, we still had a hold of eachother's hand and i'm not even sure when we let go, i just know that i got a little ways away, and was about to turn the corner and i HAD to turn around, but He was already gone when i looked back. i got home and felt so lost, so empty. for a week i had had Him by my side and then He was just gone. i did have someone to call if needed but i didn't want to bother them so i tried to deal with it on my own i layed on my bed crying for what seemed like hours, and then i called Him and left a message on His voice mail and i dont' think He understood a word i said..LOL..it was aweful..but then i went and sat at my computer and our friend who was supposed to be my support was online. i IMd her and she helped me through it. she gave me 'orders' to do before He was able to talk to me again, and that helped. i'll have to explain that relationship more later i think lol..but the reason i originally wantedto reply to this was to tell you that yes, you will need support and alot of it, and it's good to have a place like this to come to. now in my next post i will introduce myself since this one has become long enough! LOL
Click to expand...

Hardest day of My life as well, baby.
 
this is a great idea and i'm glad someone started it. my name is rose (obviously) and i am slave to MasterPhoenix *smiles*. i'm sure He's already introduced Himself and said a little about our relationship so i hope i'm not being redunant in that regard. we have been together for a little over 3 years and all 3 have been online, until recently. Sept 28th He flew here from California (i'm in Indiana) to see me. it was the best week of my life and i've not been the same since He left. so many times we've gone in chat rooms on Yahoo and been put down for our relationship because it wasn't 'Real life' to me, and to Him, it's ALWAYS been real life. i've never lied to Him, when He's punished me, i've carried out the punishment. if you are serious about this type of relationship, it has to be real. or it becomes just a game and games with someone else's emotions is not something i enjoy. anyway, it's nice to see that Him and i are not alone, and i hope to meet many new friends *smiles*
Click to expand...

Glad you joined Me here, baby.
 
FurryFury said:
I love it when you post something like this Shy because it's written so well and you are so real. All of that you've posted above really touched me. I like that you don't make things out to be perfect when they are not. You don't deny the upside even waiting to be together. It's so very cool of you. Thanks for being you.

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

Thank you.

:kiss:
 
ChromeCollar said:
I was wondering if anyone else suffered from grouchiness or moodiness if their PYT doesnt have the time or make the effort to pay as much attention to them as they normally do.

I ask because recently when my Master has been to busy with school or whatnot to play, I've found myself getting very moody or fussy until he can properly dominate me again. This might be just a short exchange of words or an hours long session. The longer I go without, the more out of control I seem to get. Does anyone else experience this?

I know I'm not properly wording this but I'm struggling to put into words what I am feeling. Maybe some of you more eloquent ladies and gents can help me out.
Click to expand...

i know exactly what you are saying, and yes, i go through this also, you can just ask Him *looks lovingly over at MP* if things have been 'slack' between us, or if i feel He's not giving me enough attention i will do or say things to make Him realize i need the 'leash' to be pulled a little. most of the time i don't even know i'm doing it, but He sees it every time and does whatever it is He needs to do to rectify the situation (i.e. does a phone scene where He adresses what's goin on in the scene, exerts His power in the scene that almost always puts me back into my place so to speak) so no you are NOT alone in this. i think most submissives get this way, it's who we are, we need to feel that "Control" over us and if we feel we are not getting it, we act it. kind of like a child wanting attention from his/her parent. does that make sense?
 
ChromeCollar said:
I am being punished tonight for acting out of line earlier. My punishment is him not talking to me until he is ready to again.QUOTE]

this is one punishment that i'm truly glad that Master will not do. being ignored or Him not talking to me or callin me would kill me. and i meant that almost literally. it would not teach me anything, if anything it would make me act out more and He'd have alot more to deal with when He finally decided to talk to me again. one of those things being my emotional state. He would have to rebuild alot of things inside me that were broken by that punishment. i don't know how you're dealing with it :( i know i couldn't. i need that connection, especially since we are so far away. but i knwo that alot of Dom's punish their subs this way but for me and Mine, it just doesn't work. i hope He decides to talk to you again soon i can't imagine how terrible it feels =(
Click to expand...
 
Luciden said:
*dies* my master just told me I'm not allowed to cum until tomorrow. I was just about to pull up some porn and start masturbating too, I've had the "Itching" between my legs for hours now. *phew* just had to get that out of my system
Click to expand...

eek. i never get to orgasm unless Master says i can. i can look at porn or whatever but i cannot masturbate without His permission. but i kinda like it that way *grins* shhhhh don't tell Him *wink* honestly though, i've masturbated without Him on the phone when He's told me that i could, and it was no where near as fulfilling as when He's on the phone. it usually still leaves me feeling unsatisfied. there's even been times that He told me i could, and i didn't, simply because it's not the same. anyone else feel this way??
 
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