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Dear X,

Dear Banking Industry,

You should really come up with a better term for short sales. The current one is misleading. I'm about 7 days into the 120 days you have to either accept or reject my offer. I don't know if I'll make it to the end without going insane. Please decide soon.

Anxiously waiting.
 
Dear Ex Boss,

So you think that I'm harassing you for the $XX,XXX I'm trying to collect from you for work that I performed between June and September?

You don't like that state department of licensing and regulation going after you to pay up?

I tried negotiating with you to make payment on months of slow payments. You fucked me over every time by shorting my payments and not paying on the dates you promised.

I did the work you asked me to do. I did it within deadlines and exceeded performance expectations. Why is it wrong that I ... and others ... should expect to be paid?

You're a totally fucked-up fraud.
 
Dear Time Warner Cable,

I can deal when you give me a Customer Service Rep who barely speaks English. I can deal when you give me a Customer Service Rep who is a moron. However, I find it very difficult to remain calm when you combine the two.

Frustrated Customer. :mad:
 
Dear X,

You're a lot a fun. However, the thought of facing this long day on less than four hours of sleep - not so much fun!

Why, WHY do I let you keep me up so late??

So tired.
 
Dear Postal Service Worker,

Why were you looking at me like I was up to no good?

Awkward.
 
Dear Vietnamese neighbors,

If you are going to scream at each other at the top of your lungs for an entire hour, and then slam your door 200 times in a row, could you please do it in English so we can all enjoy your argument to the fullest?

Dear teenagers who reside in my house who are arguing over whose turn it is to play Skyrim,

Seriously? Pipe down. I can barely hear all the shouting and door slamming from next door over you two. And no, quite frankly I could not give a flying, dare I say, even a regular rat's ass who played last or for how long. Keep it up and the console will go sailing out the second story window.

Dear Calgon,
Take me away, or them away, I really don't care at this point.

Love and kisses,
Ready to take the gas pipe
 
Dear X,

what have I done to deserve this? It's 5 am and I am tired as hell and only want to get some sleep. But at the same time I am wide awake. Please, let me sleep!

Kindest regards, please deal with my request as soon as possible, yours
F.
 
Dear FJ,

You fucked me up big time on several occasions over several years. That being said, I still for some reason love you and always will. I think of you most every day and wish you nothing but peace, even though you are quite the fucking bitch.

Regards,
tnguy74
 
Dear X,

I think you may be not pleased with me.

I can fix that if we could work on our timing.

Sincerely,

Love to love you, baby

:kiss:
 
Dear You,

I don't know if I miss you, but I miss how things used to be. How you made me feel.

Amanda



Dear Best Friend,

I miss you dearly. Your angel wings turn 4 years old tomorrow. Fly with the angels baby girl.

Love,
Amanda
 
Rainshine said:
Dear Saucy,

I hope you're ok.

Love,
Almost out of recipes, hot men, and giggles.
-------------------------
Click to expand...

Dear Sweet Rainshine,

We cannot have that. I have added some men, working on the giggles, as soon as I find some, I will share, and I always have tons of recipes. I will get off my butt and post some soon.

smoochies,
Saucy
 
Dear God,

Today I pray for one human with lobster arms, tiny limbs, a thumb shaped head, totally hetero shoes, a masterfully disguised accent, some Swiss chocolate in hand and impeccable taste in music cross paths. Or something like that. Maybe not all of them. But something.

Prayerfully,

The Pope
 
Dear X, where X = you

Purple was fun, even if it was virtual. Next time we'll find out how it looks on you. Looking forward to the rest of the rainbow.

Me
 
Dear Chad Kroeger,

I want to run my long nimble fingers through your soft, golden curls while you sing me sweet soft rock anthems with killer guitar riffs.

All my love,
Pmann.
 
^^^
I didn't write that, first off. :D

Secondly...

Dear Internet,

You picked a shitty time to fail. What is it about Fridays that causes this?

Miffed,

Pmann
 
pmann said:
^^^
I didn't write that, first off. :D

Secondly...

Dear Internet,

You picked a shitty time to fail. What is it about Fridays that causes this?

Miffed,

Pmann
Click to expand...



The internet did not fail you Pmann.

I suspect your apparent closeted affection for Nickelback may be playing some small, karmic part in your interweb challenges.



http://t2.***********/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRLqC7FBV8yieuztXtYbilFGis_rnTqxj7U4E84iid1nwiHeverQ
 
Dear Pmann,

You may have received several supportive messages from Lit members, offering encouragement and some kind words regarding your affections for Canada’s shittiest band.

Included in some of these messages may be a link to download a new song from Nickelback.

Whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK THE LINK!! It contains a new song from Nickelback.


Magnanimously yours,

E







comickroeger1.png
 
Dearest immune system:

I hate it when you knock on my door. I don't appreciate your recent trend. What's up with that anyway? I'm referring you to GreenEyes so he can straighten you out.

Sincerely,
Minnie

PS Don't mess with me, you jackass. I don't really live at The Kingdom. See Texas.
:devil:
 
Rainshine said:
Ohhhh are those the blonde locks he's talking about? :D
Click to expand...

I said blonde cocks. Wait... That's no better. Or no different.

For the record, Nickelback is not my cup of tea. Mostly because I don't like my tea with large pieces of shit in it.
 
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