The Surrender

HeyItsDani

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For the longest time, I was somewhat embarrassed by my fascination with being ass fucked. Seriously. I talk and write about it a lot, and occasionally someone will ask why I have such an incredible infatuation (obsession?) with being penetrated anally. You'll see this in some of the stories I will be submitting in the not too distant future.

Ever since my first time being sodomized a few years ago, and the resulting intense, mind-bending orgasm that flowed from it, I've been anally-focused, regardless of whether my partner was male or female. I come away from sex with a partner less satisfied if they don't fuck me in the ass. I don't complain, of course, but the longing is there. It occasionally manifests itself at the most inopportune times and I am forced to take matters into my own hands.

I recently acquired a copy of The Surrender, by Toni Bentley. In it, she describes in excruciatingly erotic detail how she, too, came to be anally-centered. In her, I've found a distant soul mate, connected somehow through a mutual appreciate of having a long, thick, hard cock pounding us into submission, surrendering our naughty, dirty hole to someone else's pleasure.

Both of us contemplate how our sex came to be so anally centered. A passage in her book, though it may not be the final word on it, struck me as both cogent and humorous. This will give you some idea of her theme.

My ass began life as the tiny pale recipient of Daddy's angry hand. It was the place of shame, the site of humiliation, the area to hide from The Hand. It received the proof of my shameful badness, my seemingly unavoidable wrongness. I was Bad and I was Punished. And now that same ass - older but wiser - is the coveted arena of a lover's pleasure where I am naughty and rewarded. And so my ass remains the strongest point of contact with the most important men in my life. It holds my deepest and oldest emotional nerve endings.

Is there a direct connection between getting spanked on the bottom, as I was as a child, and my inclination to being anally penetrated? Possibly. If every father who spanked his little girl thought he might be creating a hungry little sodomite, well, that might be a deterrent.

Being sodomized now, by choice, reconciles this injury with a scenario of the dominant male and obedient little girl. Instead of rejection and criticism, I am told, "Good girl, good girl." The nastier I am and the better I suck his cock, the better I am, until I'm the goodest little girl in the world. I am finally loved. The relief it brings me is profound.

I, with my total submission, in fact wield a great healing power: the more I submit the more excited he gets, until I enter the deepest phase of surrender and he comes. He only comes when I've given it up. It takes a lot of surrender, discipline, and love to let a man fuck your ass hard enough, long enough, deep enough, and fast enough to shoot. His orgasm is my victory over my lesser self, over the pain of my anger. It fills the hole; I'm finally whole.

The only disparity between her experience and mine, interestingly, is that I was never spanked as a child. My parents, my father, didn't believe in it.

If you get the chance, pick up the book and read it; it's won several awards. It is quite well-written and offers some interesting insight into why some people enjoy taking it in the butt.
 
An interesting perspective on anal sex.

While I can see why you feel a connection with the quoted text, I am not certain how it pertains to why you took that path.

You seem to skip over why you find anal sex so intense. the author's connection between childhood spankings and anal sex does not seem to be reflected in your own experience.

The why of that first orgasm is still left unexplained.
 
An interesting perspective on anal sex.

While I can see why you feel a connection with the quoted text, I am not certain how it pertains to why you took that path.

You seem to skip over why you find anal sex so intense. the author's connection between childhood spankings and anal sex does not seem to be reflected in your own experience.

The why of that first orgasm is still left unexplained.

Well, the intent of this thread wasn't for me to discuss my fondness for being sodomized, but rather to introduce and recommend the book. I'll eventually write about my first anal experience and perhaps that will shed some light on it for you.
 
<<< Ever since my first time being sodomized a few years ago, and the resulting intense, mind-bending orgasm that flowed from it, I've been anally-focused, regardless of whether my partner was male or female. I come away from sex with a partner less satisfied if they don't fuck me in the ass. I don't complain, of course, but the longing is there. It occasionally manifests itself at the most inopportune times and I am forced to take matters into my own hands. >>>

Is it necessary that you be "taken" vis a vis forced or dominated into anal sex or are you willing to indicate your desire for it with partners? I ask because you indicate that you come away less satisfied if it doesn't happen when, the easiest way to make it happen is to indicate your desire for it. I once had a woman friend that asked that I do it. Frankly, it's not really something I prefer to do and wouldn't request it of a woman. However, in her case, I suppose the fact that I didn't push for it lead her to ask for it.

It would be interesting to know if your desire for anal sex is the actual sensation of being penetrated anally or the desire to be dominated and ravaged, regardless of whether it was vaginally or orally. My preference has always been for oral, and my stories (some not yet posted) involve men who dominate women orally versus anally. Just a thought I've always had about women. Some seem to want to be "forced" to do things whether by being overpowered physically or bound. Others seem to get off on asking for it and relishing in being a "slut" for wanting whatever activity it is. For me, it was always more of a turn on to have a woman play the "needful slut" versus me playing the dom, however, I've done both.
 
Well, the intent of this thread wasn't for me to discuss my fondness for being sodomized, but rather to introduce and recommend the book. I'll eventually write about my first anal experience and perhaps that will shed some light on it for you.

I look forward to reading that. I am always interested in the why of a situation.
 
For the longest time, I was somewhat embarrassed by my fascination with being ass fucked. Seriously. I talk and write about it a lot, and occasionally someone will ask why I have such an incredible infatuation (obsession?) with being penetrated anally. You'll see this in some of the stories I will be submitting in the not too distant future.

Ever since my first time being sodomized a few years ago, and the resulting intense, mind-bending orgasm that flowed from it, I've been anally-focused, regardless of whether my partner was male or female. I come away from sex with a partner less satisfied if they don't fuck me in the ass. I don't complain, of course, but the longing is there. It occasionally manifests itself at the most inopportune times and I am forced to take matters into my own hands.

I recently acquired a copy of The Surrender, by Toni Bentley. In it, she describes in excruciatingly erotic detail how she, too, came to be anally-centered. In her, I've found a distant soul mate, connected somehow through a mutual appreciate of having a long, thick, hard cock pounding us into submission, surrendering our naughty, dirty hole to someone else's pleasure.

Both of us contemplate how our sex came to be so anally centered. A passage in her book, though it may not be the final word on it, struck me as both cogent and humorous. This will give you some idea of her theme.



The only disparity between her experience and mine, interestingly, is that I was never spanked as a child. My parents, my father, didn't believe in it.

If you get the chance, pick up the book and read it; it's won several awards. It is quite well-written and offers some interesting insight into why some people enjoy taking it in the butt.

that is very well written I must say,,,

I love hearing the "why" in almost all things..

it is how I sort of live my life..

I dont just eat something good and let it end there..I want to know why it was so good.

same with music ,,why is that song so catchy?

I do not really recall how I became so interested in a womans ass and asshole..

my first sexual relationship was with a girl who loved her ass touched and licked ,,,she really had to talk me into it though...

she would always raise her ass up when i woulfd lick her pussy,,and when ever she just raised it as I licked and she moaned the most lustful moan I had ever heard as my tongue grazed her musky asshole,,,

at my then inexperienced self I thought..."there may be something to this"

I wish I had asked her why she loved her ass licked so much.

It got me hooked over time.

I learned to love doing it to her and she rewarded me..she wanted to do it to me and I was not having any of it...

stupid younger self.:)

:devil:
 
I'll have to read this book.

Dani's take on this mirrors my own, very strikingly. Rather like her, I've sometimes been rather embarrassed by my own predilection for anal sex, which sometimes veers on obsession.

Flicking once through my previous comments on these boards, I almost surprised myself by how often and how candidly I've talked about it. Sometimes I can give advice (it's something I'm pretty experienced in) but other times it's almost as if I need to flaunt it, because so often, in a sexual context, I can't think about anything else.

I've been bottom-focussed, to near-echo Dani's phrase, since my first meaningful anal experience, in my late teens, when I enjoyed such a wonderful anal orgasm - so thrilling, surprising and joyous - that my sexual world was turned on its head. I began to eroticise my anus - a craving for that illicit sensation and physical transaction which soon came to dominate my sex life.

Rather like Dani, too, it's almost as if I can't achieve fulfilment or satisfaction with a partner unless they penetrate me anally. The sex doesn't seem complete, nor the physical communion between us. I used to sleep with men; I later discovered I prefer my own sex - but my predilection remained as ardent. My need for anal has put pressure on relationships, and sometimes impaired them, when my partner is bemused or uncomfortable with the way I seem to prefer my anus to my vagina (and desire to reciprocate).

Why I am like this? I don't know, really! Which is why Toni Bentley's book sounds so fascinating. I have no obvious formative experiences which could explain it. For me, it's probably a combination of just really enjoying the physical sensation (the way my body is wired up), the excitement of the taboo, and the magnitude of anal as an act exchanged with a lover - the intimacy, the trust, the apprehension, the deep connection made between our bodies.
 
Rather like her, I've sometimes been rather embarrassed by my own predilection for anal sex, which sometimes veers on obsession.

Right? Sometimes it's embarrassing when you go to sit down on a guy's cock and you put it in your ass and he's like, "That's the wrong hole." I'm like, "Oh, no, it's not. That's right where I want it."

I've been bottom-focussed, to near-echo Dani's phrase, since my first meaningful anal experience, in my late teens, when I enjoyed such a wonderful anal orgasm - so thrilling, surprising and joyous - that my sexual world was turned on its head. I began to eroticise my anus - a craving for that illicit sensation and physical transaction which soon came to dominate my sex life.

This is what you'll see when I write of my first experience. My first anal penetration led to an orgasm that was so intense I nearly blacked out from it. And I think by and large if your first experience with anal is good, especially if it's intensely pleasurable like ours were, you tend to enjoy it much more throughout life and want to make it a routine part of your sex. Since the significant majority of women don't have very pleasant experiences with their first attempts at butt sex, they tend to see it as something to stay away from or approach with trepidation. And gosh do I feel sorry for those folks! lol

I also think it takes the right mindset to enjoy anal on this level. Bentley writes about this at great length in her book, and I think this is probably what makes me feel connected to her more than her psychoanalysis of the roots of her desires. Almost to a person, the people I've discussed the issue with who enjoy anal, enjoy the "taboo" part of the concept of sodomy, the "dirtiness" of it, and enjoy the playing the "slut/whore" role in bed. You put the mindset together with a lack of fear of the pain, and associate strong orgasms with it, you end up with a Toni Bentley or...one of us. Hehe.
 
Is it necessary that you be "taken" vis a vis forced or dominated into anal sex or are you willing to indicate your desire for it with partners? I ask because you indicate that you come away less satisfied if it doesn't happen when, the easiest way to make it happen is to indicate your desire for it. I once had a woman friend that asked that I do it. Frankly, it's not really something I prefer to do and wouldn't request it of a woman. However, in her case, I suppose the fact that I didn't push for it lead her to ask for it.

Well, to be honest, I have a preference for being forced into submissiveness when I have sex with a man in general. Having said that, I am not averse to asking a guy if wants to go there. I have had some that, like you, have no desire to go there, and while I don't indicate any disappointment in that, I still have that longing when we're done. I totally respect that some people just have no desire to do some things and don't press the issue at all.


It would be interesting to know if your desire for anal sex is the actual sensation of being penetrated anally or the desire to be dominated and ravaged, regardless of whether it was vaginally or orally.

That's a good question. It's probably a bit of both. I've been in situations where there is no power differential to speak of, so I'd say there's not a "need" to be dominated. My wiring is just such that being penetrated anally affords me stronger orgasms. The muscles in the anus are interconnected with those that provide the vaginal orgasm, and to me, having something for my asshole to grab a hold of when I'm cumming intensifies the O. However, I also very much enjoy being dominated and forced into submission, so having a man dominate me by taking me anally often adds a bit of a psychological boost to the whole thing.
 
Well, to be honest, I have a preference for being forced into submissiveness when I have sex with a man in general. Having said that, I am not averse to asking a guy if wants to go there. I have had some that, like you, have no desire to go there, and while I don't indicate any disappointment in that, I still have that longing when we're done. I totally respect that some people just have no desire to do some things and don't press the issue at all.




That's a good question. It's probably a bit of both. I've been in situations where there is no power differential to speak of, so I'd say there's not a "need" to be dominated. My wiring is just such that being penetrated anally affords me stronger orgasms. The muscles in the anus are interconnected with those that provide the vaginal orgasm, and to me, having something for my asshole to grab a hold of when I'm cumming intensifies the O. However, I also very much enjoy being dominated and forced into submission, so having a man dominate me by taking me anally often adds a bit of a psychological boost to the whole thing.

I would absolutely make you my own private slut, and take control.
 
I think very often we repeat patterns, even if the original act was unpleasant, nonconsensual etc. Eg. rape victims fantasizing about being raped. incest victims repeating that pattern. etc.
 
For the longest time, I was somewhat embarrassed by my fascination with being ass fucked. Seriously. I talk and write about it a lot, and occasionally someone will ask why I have such an incredible infatuation (obsession?) with being penetrated anally. You'll see this in some of the stories I will be submitting in the not too distant future.

Ever since my first time being sodomized a few years ago, and the resulting intense, mind-bending orgasm that flowed from it, I've been anally-focused, regardless of whether my partner was male or female. I come away from sex with a partner less satisfied if they don't fuck me in the ass. I don't complain, of course, but the longing is there. It occasionally manifests itself at the most inopportune times and I am forced to take matters into my own hands.

I recently acquired a copy of The Surrender, by Toni Bentley. In it, she describes in excruciatingly erotic detail how she, too, came to be anally-centered. In her, I've found a distant soul mate, connected somehow through a mutual appreciate of having a long, thick, hard cock pounding us into submission, surrendering our naughty, dirty hole to someone else's pleasure.

Both of us contemplate how our sex came to be so anally centered. A passage in her book, though it may not be the final word on it, struck me as both cogent and humorous. This will give you some idea of her theme.



The only disparity between her experience and mine, interestingly, is that I was never spanked as a child. My parents, my father, didn't believe in it.

If you get the chance, pick up the book and read it; it's won several awards. It is quite well-written and offers some interesting insight into why some people enjoy taking it in the butt.

I'm going to see if I can find the book at the library and read it. :) You made some very interesting points too. :)
 
You've got me curious now. Think I'll go source a copy myself. Like whome1952, I'm interested in 'whys' and human sexuality fascinates me.

I think your exploration of this is equally interesting, and I admire your bravery and candor in posting it. To comment on your observations, I don't think any of us are truly responsible for what turns us on, gets us off, or excites us. I think it's a product of hardwiring - in the body, the mind, and the DNA - and the sum total of every sexually-related experience we've ever had, at any point in time, regardless of the situation. And I think we all have things that would turn us on that we've yet to discover.

Personally, I've done it, yes, and I'll admit it was a completely different experience and incredibly intense. But I've not done it since - only with that one person - and that was quite literally years ago. If it were presented I just might follow through - but I've never called it to question. Not sure why - it was not a traumatic experience in the least. I'm just satisfied without it, I guess.
 
I don't think any of us are truly responsible for what turns us on, gets us off, or excites us. I think it's a product of hardwiring - in the body, the mind, and the DNA - and the sum total of every sexually-related experience we've ever had, at any point in time, regardless of the situation. And I think we all have things that would turn us on that we've yet to discover.

Oh, I absolutely agree (and I hope I didn't suggest otherwise in anything I said).

The sad part is reflected in your last sentence there. Many people won't allow themselves to experience some things, or are too afraid to put themselves into positions where they could experience those things, for a variety of reasons (none of which is necessarily invalid). And that's sad, really.
 
As I have never engaged in anal sex as either recipient or giver I have always had a strange sense of what it was all about. You know, aside from the raw sex perception. I really love the way you articulate anal sex. Your perception gives me a great pov of how great it can be.

Now if I can only find a lover who is willing. Hmmm.
 
For me, my desire for anal is really no mystery. My very first lover was 12 years older than me, had three kids, and was just out of an ugly divorce. I was young and not on birth control. The first night we were together, neither of us saw it coming, and we didn't have any condoms. So my first time was mostly anally. I was naive and really didn't know what to expect, so I didn't think of it being unusual. I just loved having him inside me, lying on my back... it felt so good! We went on to have sex in so many different places, on two continents in fact, and we never did use birth control. He did fuck me vaginally, but it was very brief (mostly to get his cock lubed for my ass), and he always came in my ass or mouth. He turned out to be a real jerk, but oh god, the sex was sooo incredible!
 
Oh, I absolutely agree (and I hope I didn't suggest otherwise in anything I said).

The sad part is reflected in your last sentence there. Many people won't allow themselves to experience some things, or are too afraid to put themselves into positions where they could experience those things, for a variety of reasons (none of which is necessarily invalid). And that's sad, really.

That is very true. I'm trying to work on facing my fears about certain sexual things and I think the only way to really do that for myself is research to learn more about it and be willing to try it at least once.
 
I like the mention of Eric Jong..I actually read "Fear Of Flying"

I was young and it opened the door to me on female sexuality and even just how exciting an interesting woman can be.

I think I read the staples.."Wifey".."Women On Top"...others I cant remember the names of...

loved hearing women in an open forum confess the fanasies they had.

there was always a fair share of anal themed fantasies from women..

I think the pornstar Belladonna is a true anal enthusiast with men and women...

I dont think I have ever seen anyone devour an anus the way she does.

maybe I will try to fit this book in that inspired the original post.
 
The sad part is reflected in your last sentence there. Many people won't allow themselves to experience some things, or are too afraid to put themselves into positions where they could experience those things, for a variety of reasons (none of which is necessarily invalid). And that's sad, really.

A very insightful and unfortunately true statement. I think with a lot of these sorts of things, people should remember that old adage that when we reach the end of our lives, we don't usually regret the things we did, but rather things we did not. I've always felt that it's better to try something and find out we don't like it than to forever wonder "what if".
 
Oh, I absolutely agree (and I hope I didn't suggest otherwise in anything I said).

The sad part is reflected in your last sentence there. Many people won't allow themselves to experience some things, or are too afraid to put themselves into positions where they could experience those things, for a variety of reasons (none of which is necessarily invalid). And that's sad, really.

Fascinating thread Dani. I have never experienced this with a woman, but I have come to long for new ways to explore my sexuality. Shall we schedule a weekend of sex together so I can explore with you? Oh what fun we'd have! :devil:
 
The surrender of my ass to someone is a very potent fantasy. I was raised in an authoritarian household and sex was dirty.

I started playing with my ass before I even learned to cum. It felt good. I have struggled with this for a long time by I now accept that having my ass penetrated can feel very good, and giving in to someone heightens the idea and makes it more sexually powerful.

Most of my fantasies revolve around submitting to someone and having them take my ass.

I sometimes masturbate with a dildo and it feels very good. I found the forums at [URL Address Removed] and there were a lot of guys like me who liked to masturbate with dildos and cum. Some guys could cum using only dildo stimulation. The forums there are down and I don't know if they are ever coming back.

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