Build your perfect PYL/pyl

If you could build your perfect, ideal PYL, or pyl, what would they look like?

What traits do you consider essential?

How would they interact with you? Skin to skin or online? Weekly, daily, hourly?

What sort of commitment would you want?

What would you expect to learn from them?
How would you expect to grow in the relationship?

Please feel free to answer any or all of the questions.

I am simply asking out of curiosity. I just wondered what the perfect PYL, or pyl, looks like for different people.

There is no such thing as perfect, so wouldn't work for me.

Catalina

catalina_francisco said:

There is no such thing as perfect, so wouldn't work for me.

Catalina

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Ok, so maybe not "perfect" per se.
Just what would be your ideal?

What does your PYL have that is your idea of a great trait?

I am just really trying to gather ideas here.

.....

Ok, let me rephrase:

I am looking for a description of the "Mr. Darcy" of PYL's or pyl's.
Maybe minus striding purposefully across a dew laden meadow in his dressing gown.

I am not sure what the female equivalent would be.

Kybele said:

like beloved already is, but maybe 7 feet tall and ~really~ hairy

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That made me shudder

Ok, I will give it a go;

If you could build your perfect, ideal PYL, or pyl, what would they look like? Looks are pretty unimportant to me, tall, short, thin, fat, hairy, bald, 'aesthetically challenged'...doesnt matter. I'm an equal opportunities kind of lover

What traits do you consider essential? Intelligence, good communication skills, patience, strength of character, firm but fair too, loyalty, integrity, a decent sense of humour and loving.

How would they interact with you? Skin to skin or online? Weekly, daily, hourly?
I've done online and ldr and now real time contact is the only kind of relationship I am looking for. I would ideally like 24/7, so daily contact would be ideal. Someone who wants to and is able to give me their time as its something I havent had for a long time.

What sort of commitment would you want? Not sure what you are asking but, I would like a committed monogomous D/s relationship and because I am wanting 24/7 I would need someone who is committed to developing that kind of relationship, 1950's household appeals but I need to read more about it. I guess I am looking for a D/s life partner.

What would you expect to learn from them? I still think I have huge amounts to learn in terms of my submission, my skills and behaviour. I see learning and training as an integral part of the relationship. in the main I think I have been lucky and have learned a lot from my partners and gained much from their knowledge, experiences and passions.


How would you expect to grow in the relationship? Hard question. I will maybe come back later but for now; I'd hope to learn things about myself, develop new skills, learn more about submission and enjoy being a 'partner' as well as a sub and an individual.

catalina_francisco said:

There is no such thing as perfect, so wouldn't work for me.

Catalina

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But there's a difference between 'perfect' and 'perfect for you'

I'm sure there's much more, but I just woke up

If you could build your perfect, ideal PYL, or pyl, what would they look like? Medium to solid build, dark hair, hairy. Not that fussed on height. Eyes that can be both bright and full of laughter, and dark and full of scary. I like slightly crooked noses, and a few lines that add character. He needs to look good in a long sleeve t shirt as well as dress pants and button down shirt.

What traits do you consider essential? Love, compassion, consistency, tolerance, strength of character, sense of humour, loyalty, smart, patient, family oriented, open minded, always learning

How would they interact with you? Skin to skin or online? Weekly, daily, hourly? Realtime only. I need cuddlings. Contact/interaction can vary between daily to a few times a week, depending on circumstances, but eventually I'd be leaning towards 24/7 live in. I'm a bit free range, I like my own space to do things and stuff, but I always come back home.

What sort of commitment would you want? I'd want him totally committed to our relationship, and the building of it.

What would you expect to learn from them? Anything and everything from how to be a better person, to basic home repairs and mechanical maintenance.

How would you expect to grow in the relationship? Within a safe space to be myself, I grow as a person. Coming to terms with the things that make me tick, not just D/s wise, but in all ways. Growing up, maturing, becoming more confident, making good choices, being happy in my devotion. Being happy in general.

A pyl should be:

Loyal,
Helpful,
Friendly,
Courteous,
Kind,
Obedient...

Wait.

That's the Boy Scout Law.

Still...

DeepGreenEyes said:

A pyl should be:

Loyal,
Helpful,
Friendly,
Courteous,
Kind,
Obedient...

Wait.

That's the Boy Scout Law.

Still...

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Shit thats where ive been going wrong....its actually a boy scout ive been searching for all this time

minx1 said:

Shit thats where ive been going wrong....its actually a boy scout ive been searching for all this time

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Scouts tie good knots.

I want a build my own PYL!!
And, come to think of it, a build your own pyl as well...
When indulging in fantasy, might as well go all out

My post was not unserious. Those are all great qualities. Add smart, funny and playful...

And I'm not downplaying hotness.

Who isn't in love with Jessica Alba?

rekane said:

If you could build your perfect, ideal PYL, or pyl, what would they look like?

What traits do you consider essential?

How would they interact with you? Skin to skin or online? Weekly, daily, hourly?

What sort of commitment would you want?

What would you expect to learn from them?
How would you expect to grow in the relationship?

Please feel free to answer any or all of the questions.

I am simply asking out of curiosity. I just wondered what the perfect PYL, or pyl, looks like for different people.

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The traits that I would appreciate in a PYL are outlined in this song, with one small editorial change:

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sorts

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you WILL scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us

Theoretically, I'd prefer live contact but this is not a 'live-in' position. I expect to learn about him and about myself. I'm open to acquiring knowledge and/or skills in any area he's interested in, while continuing my own pursuits.

Dianthus said:

The traits that I would appreciate in a PYL are outlined in this song, with one small editorial change:

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sorts

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you WILL scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us

Theoretically, I'd prefer live contact but this is not a 'live-in' position. I expect to learn about him and about myself. I'm open to acquiring knowledge and/or skills in any area he's interested in, while continuing my own pursuits.

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We better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.

Dianthus said:

The traits that I would appreciate in a PYL are outlined in this song, with one small editorial change:

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sorts

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you WILL scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us

Theoretically, I'd prefer live contact but this is not a 'live-in' position. I expect to learn about him and about myself. I'm open to acquiring knowledge and/or skills in any area he's interested in, while continuing my own pursuits.

Click to expand...

Am I the only one that suddenly can't help but wonder about that "first time" that the adorable pyl Bert was shot through the chimney and up to the rooftops by Mistress Poppins? They both have a sparkle in thier eye reminiscing on it that feels a bit "private" don't you think? Soot..cold roof...magical powers....*shiver*
Practically perfect in every way... talk about a domme setting impossible expectations... Sheesh...

Curious_in_Cali said:

Am I the only one that suddenly can't help but wonder about that "first time" that the adorable pyl Bert was shot through the chimney and up to the rooftops by Mistress Poppins? They both have a sparkle in thier eye reminiscing on it that feels a bit "private" don't you think? Soot..cold roof...magical powers....*shiver*
Practically perfect in every way... talk about a domme setting impossible expectations... Sheesh...

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A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. And Bert does seem to use that cane on himself with some panache.

I think the lacy Edwardian underthings add an awful lot to her 'presence'. And those boots!

Dianthus said:

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. And Bert does seem to use that cane on himself with some panache.

I think the lacy Edwardian underthings add an awful lot to her 'presence'. And those boots!

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She seems entrancing....but don't get attached...because when the wind changes....*sigh*

Thank you everyone for your responses!

These were wide open questions that aren't easily answered.

The character traits I'd like to see in a PYL are: intelligence, sense of humor, loyalty, understanding of the gift that submission is (is this really a trait? hmmm, not sure), consistency, patience, compassion, sensitivity, honesty, strength (oh, and a deep and abiding love for hippos. *wink*)

I would like skin to skin, with daily interaction (not necessarily skin to skin). Ideally, a 24/7 situation.

I would like it to be a monogamous relationship.

I would hope to learn some self-mastery, resilience, and deeper submission.

What I would want to get out of the relationship is love, and the peace & comfort submission gives me.
And subspace moments.

I spoke hastily when I said he need not stride purposefully across a dew laden meadow in his dressing gown. That would be a big bonus for me.
Damn you Jane Austen for creating that desire/expectation!

Kybele - just how hairy? Is this what you had in mind?



Minx & Lizzie - thanks for your descriptions. It really helped me flesh out my own ideal.

DGE - *sigh* so NOT helpful...except the knot tying parts.
Care to share your ideal pyl traits? Doms are woefully under-represented on this thread.

Pleasure Fan - thank you for humoring DGE.

Dianthus - your comments were practically perfect in every way, especially the bit about the boots.

Cali - I never thought of Bert being submissive. Hmmm, wondering what sort of other bdsm Disney characters there are...but that seems best for another thread.

rekane said:

If you could build your perfect, ideal PYL, or pyl, what would they look like?

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Does PYL mean pick your label? I googled it, that was the only meaning that halfway made sense, although Press Your Luck does have a certain ironic relevance when talking about a dreamguy or girl.

Anyway, physically my dreamguy would be slender, pale, long black hair, clean-shaven, high cheekbones, narrow nose... I don't insist on all those things, I'd like guys that were in a range around that. I don't care about height or eye color.

What traits do you consider essential?

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Intelligent, creative, playful, strong sense of humor, caring/nurturing, inclined to treat me like either a pampered pet or his adored lady in terms of giving little gifts and doing little favors to earn my good opinion and love. Age, preferably somewhere between 20 and 40. Wealth is not essential, but would certainly be nice.

How would they interact with you? Skin to skin or online? Weekly, daily, hourly?

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Skin, living together although I'm not sure if I'd want my own bedroom; have to try and see.

What sort of commitment would you want?

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Marriage - I want to have kids, I need a safe stable loving environment in which to do that.

What would you expect to learn from them?
How would you expect to grow in the relationship?

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Hmm. I'm mainly interested in becoming a mother, growing in that way, but it's not really something my partner would teach me, more like something we'd learn together.

Looks-

My perfect guy:

6'5. Latino or Native American. Thick coarse shiny black hair cut very short, large brown eyes with long dark eyelashes. Thick, arched eyebrows. A full, sensual mouth. Straight white teeth. Clear, very dark goldenbrown complexion. Constant 5 o'clock shadow. He's got a soft pelt of curly chest hair and is solidly built, muscular with large ropy veins on the backs of his big square hands. Uncut penis, average length but thick. Pretty feet. Hairy legs and arms, and both arms are "sleeved" with tattoos.

My perfect girl:

6'. Caucasian. Long wavy hair that's naturally a light golden-brown. Large brown eyes with thick dark eyelashes. Smooth dark complexion, with a full sexy mouth that seems to find it's natural place in a happy smile. She's considered chubby to today's modern beauty standards, but to me she's super thick, with heavy breasts and large hips, and a big perky ass that sticks out like a melon. Keeps her nails long and painted with beautiful nail art.

Personality (both genders)-

Mature and self aware. Self motivated, dominant and assertive. Happy with themselves, whole and "at peace" with their own souls.

Traits (both genders)-

Loves cats and my girls. Plays video games, watches Star Trek, and has other typically "geeky" hobbies. Has a very high sex drive but is monogamous with me, and is a generous and giving lover who adores intimacy. They aren't afraid to speak their mind to anyone, but can do so gently and without hurting anyone's feelings. They're fearless, passionate and driven towards a happy whole relationship as one of their main "goals in life". They'd live with me, ideally we'd be married.

As I'm a pretty "whole" person myself, we'd compliment each other by being very similar, and would be each other's ROCK. I would worship the ground they walked on. We'd depend on each other for intimacy -and- friendship, and grow as parents, learning how to raise confident, assertive and good-hearted children. I can't really predict the future as to how I would change, but hopefully I would continue to be a good mom, a good friend and a good lover to my partner, to provide for them in any way I can.

Until 4 days ago I'd have said my ideal PYL would be my current partner (who I've been with for over 2 years) but with dominant tendencies (he's always been a big pervert but a complete non-dom ).

4 days ago he tied me up and dominated the crap out of me. Got me so hot with it that I squirted clean across the room several times without even being touched (thank god for wooden floors).

So just now my ideal PYL would be the man I call my boyfriend.

Cattypuss said:

Until 4 days ago I'd have said my ideal PYL would be my current partner (who I've been with for over 2 years) but with dominant tendencies (he's always been a big pervert but a complete non-dom ).

4 days ago he tied me up and dominated the crap out of me. Got me so hot with it that I squirted clean across the room several times without even being touched (thank god for wooden floors).

So just now my ideal PYL would be the man I call my boyfriend.

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This is wonderful!
I am really happy for you, Cattypuss!
What an exciting change in your dynamic.
Enjoy!

I feel like the answer to this question is much the same as what is my ideal boyfriend like. Plus that he must be genuinely interested in being a dominant in the bedroom. And that our kinks will match. =)

That said, I do have random things that I find attractive in a man, such as being artistic, fluent in a foreign language, knows his trade VERY WELL and is very passionate when he talks about his work...

Someone who's similar enough that we'll understand each other, but different enough that we both get to expand our horizons.

Someone rational enough to hold a stimulating debate with me without ever resorting to sophistry or other cheap shots, but also sensitive enough to appreciate the beauty in the small things of life -- You know the type of pavement that has countless tiny sparkling shards of glass embedded in it? I want a man who will hold my hand and stand atop that pavement, and as he does so and looks at the glittering beneath our feet, he'll feel -- as I often do when I walk on it -- that we are standing in the midst of all the stars in the universe.

I'm such a sucker for romance. =)

rekane said:

I spoke hastily when I said he need not stride purposefully across a dew laden meadow in his dressing gown. That would be a big bonus for me.
Damn you Jane Austen for creating that desire/expectation!

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Yup, when i read it I thought ok, it wouldnt be a deal breaker if he didnt, but I'd kinda like it if he did