Dylan_Anderson
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2013
- Posts
- 16
I wanted some advise on a situation as I'm getting some mixed signals and thought some objective views might be helpful.
I'm male and interested in a girl at work. It's potentially messy because we work together and I'm her manager. Also there's a ten year age gap (I'm 28 and she's 18). But I guess the heart wants what it wants even if it is a bad idea.
Anyway, we've become fairly close and talking outside of work via text message and had a few open conversations via text while we were both drunk and our guards were down. Every time the conversation turns to sex and it's nearly always her that initiates this. She's very open and quick to volunteer some very intimate things about her (what she's into, fetishes, turn ons etc.) and the talk always comes across as quite flirty with what I thought were hints.
While at work she doesn't show any interest but neither do I and just put this down to professionalism and not wanting to let personal and work life mix.
What has now confused me is that we recently went to lunch together and I saw this as an opportunity to confirm my suspicions. During lunch I didn't pick up on any signals at all, the opposite in fact! Every time I very subtly put out feelers I got nothing. She mentioned she had been on a date with some guy a few weeks ago (didn't comment on if it was successful or not). When talking about another work colleague hitting on her previously she stated she would never get involved with someone she worked with. I hinted that I am really bad at noticing if someone is interested in me ands she stated that if she is interested in someone she just comes out and says so. When we were leaving the restaurant we met a friend of hers and introduced me as her manager not friend.
I'm no idiot and after this lunch the diagnosis seems pretty obvious but I can't reconcile this with the very intimate text messages we've exchanged on a number of occasions. Have I just been friend-zoned on an epic level or is there something I'm missing.
I'm fine either way but just want to know where I stand with her. I can't really ask her outright at the risk of making things weird at work.
Any advice or insights?
I'm male and interested in a girl at work. It's potentially messy because we work together and I'm her manager. Also there's a ten year age gap (I'm 28 and she's 18). But I guess the heart wants what it wants even if it is a bad idea.
Anyway, we've become fairly close and talking outside of work via text message and had a few open conversations via text while we were both drunk and our guards were down. Every time the conversation turns to sex and it's nearly always her that initiates this. She's very open and quick to volunteer some very intimate things about her (what she's into, fetishes, turn ons etc.) and the talk always comes across as quite flirty with what I thought were hints.
While at work she doesn't show any interest but neither do I and just put this down to professionalism and not wanting to let personal and work life mix.
What has now confused me is that we recently went to lunch together and I saw this as an opportunity to confirm my suspicions. During lunch I didn't pick up on any signals at all, the opposite in fact! Every time I very subtly put out feelers I got nothing. She mentioned she had been on a date with some guy a few weeks ago (didn't comment on if it was successful or not). When talking about another work colleague hitting on her previously she stated she would never get involved with someone she worked with. I hinted that I am really bad at noticing if someone is interested in me ands she stated that if she is interested in someone she just comes out and says so. When we were leaving the restaurant we met a friend of hers and introduced me as her manager not friend.
I'm no idiot and after this lunch the diagnosis seems pretty obvious but I can't reconcile this with the very intimate text messages we've exchanged on a number of occasions. Have I just been friend-zoned on an epic level or is there something I'm missing.
I'm fine either way but just want to know where I stand with her. I can't really ask her outright at the risk of making things weird at work.
Any advice or insights?