PM asshattery

I would say:

You bet your sweet ass I am!
6-fat-man.jpg

Holy Shit, it's Hedonism Bot in human form! :eek:
 

I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

So not to totally derail this thread into irrelevancy, I received this PM:

Subject: do u wont to

Message: do things 2 me? tell me what u wont

The problem was, I'm still a guy. So yeah, I wanted to do things to her (her profile pic was cute). But dammit, I can't deal with that kind of stupidity. So I told her I was not some piece of meat and they you have to get to know the inner Pmann. Then followed a series of incoherent PMs that would make even the most text speaking savvy teen pull their hair out. I don't get those kinds of PMs often. But if I did, I can see why he girls are so frustrated.
 
Ok friends and neighbors--release the hounds. How would you answer this fine gentleman?

Well, if I was here to be a whore tonight, I'd say yes. If I was here to be a taxi driver tonight, the answer would be no.
 
We can help you channel your inner asshole.

But see, you guys deliver the slapdown with such wit and style. Me - I just unload with both barrels. It's.....like the sniper rifle vs the shotgun.
 
I think that along with the sexual troll asshats that come around -- there may also be the scammers who are trolling for their next victim. Facebook is a place that happens a lot and of course it happens even more on dating sites.

I think the majority of asshat pm's that come on here are mostly males who think every woman here should oblige their horniness, But its also possible that there may be scammers lurking as well.

Its not unusual for them to speak almost flowery and friendly-- they speak of close friendship and even love early on. Its also quite common to look at their pm's and see that english is probably not their first language.

I have a male friend who was scammed out of thousands of dollars by someone who was telling him what he wanted to hear and sent him pictures of a beautiful woman-- this was through yahoo. He was lonely and she was going to come here and make all his dreams come true. But first she needed money for food, then to pay for her internet so she could keep talking to him...etc...etc..... there was always something.

Sorry, got off on a tangent here, but on the first page, it was mentioned someone got pm'd on facebook and I know that many scammers create fake profiles there to reel in their catch. My same male friend has be-friended several "women" on there totally believing that they are legitimate.

Keep in mind that they ALL approached him and they ALL are drop-dead gorgeous! They just wanted to get to know him... lol. Fortunately- he won't send money anymore.

I guess theres just a surfeit of very hot, un-attached women that need to approach strange men in order to meet men at all. wow.

Some of those scammers really know what they are doing and can even send you fake documents "proving" they are real.

Something to keep in mind-- though I know that here, most of the asshat pmers are most likely just men who think it actually works to introduce himself as an asshat.
 
Also should mention that as you can see- I'm more of a lurker then a poster, but even I've received a few pm's!

heres one:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey there! How are you? I'm (name), (age), (residence)- brown hair, blue eyes 6'0 and fit. I love run, be outside, read, have fun with friends, sex, and I have quite the sarcastic streak. My friends have no idea how horny or kinky I am. I would love to chat and have some fun, what are you up to? Hope to hear from you soon."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not nasty or anything, but definitely trolling. I bet a lot of women got the same one. Of course he had absolutely NO posts on the forum at all.
 
I have a male friend who was scammed out of thousands of dollars by someone who was telling him what he wanted to hear and sent him pictures of a beautiful woman-- this was through yahoo. He was lonely and she was going to come here and make all his dreams come true. But first she needed money for food, then to pay for her internet so she could keep talking to him...etc...etc..... there was always something.

I'm sorry your friend got taken in. At the same time, I think some people get on the internet and lose all common sense. It's as if their crotch overrides their brains or something. If something sounds too good to be true, it's because it usually is. Caution still needs to be exercised.

Sorry, got off on a tangent here, but on the first page, it was mentioned someone got pm'd on facebook and I know that many scammers create fake profiles there to reel in their catch. My same male friend has be-friended several "women" on there totally believing that they are legitimate.

Which is why I make it a policy to never FB friend anyone whom I've not met AND formed some sort of relationship with in real life. Call it suspicious, cautious, cynical, whatever. Internet strangers don't need access to my RL information.
 
The bland cut & paste ones annoy me even more than the really crude ones - today's offering -

hey my names asshat I'm x years old and think I may be the kind if lad you are looking to chat with on here. you look good and sound fun so would be great to hear from you x

Oh asshat - you're so dull!
 
Which is why I make it a policy to never FB friend anyone whom I've not met AND formed some sort of relationship with in real life. Call it suspicious, cautious, cynical, whatever. Internet strangers don't need access to my RL information.


I think thats very wise and I don't either! I'm even thinking about weeding down my friend list and cutting out people that I know, but don't really care if I keep in touch with now. lol


As for my friend- the first time my husband told me about how the friend was cooresponding with this woman I said it was a scam. I warned him about it and he got really angry with me and wouldn't talk to me for a little while. We sort of dropped it and let him go on talking about her-- but I noticed little bits of uncertainty from him. When "she" was asking him for money for something I can't remember now (money to pay for something that was required for her to leave Ghana)-- I actually emailed the US embassy in Ghana and asked about it. Of course they told me it was a scam. I emailed their reply to my friend.

He finally got the message. But I can understand how he got pulled in. Here was this woman who was giving him all this attention. He was lonely and hadn't had sex for like 5 yrs I think. He had this dream in his head of showing up with her on his arm (he really wanted to prove me wrong at first). I wish I had been wrong.

Anyways-- I'm sorry I got so off topic. I do that sometimes!
 
satindesire: that was awesome! however, it's an awful lot of choices. while i like the concept, i think something shorter might be more helpful. so i was thinking something like the outlook auto-responder might be in order. something like:

i can't respond individually to your private message for one or more of the following reasons:

[ ] failure to read my profile which clearly shows your attempt at communication is a lost cause
[ ] form letter
[ ] high creepy/stalker quotient
[ ] i am too busy laughing at how lame your message is & will share it in one or more threads on this forum
[ ] i have no idea who you are and thanks to your message never want to know

by responding to this message you agree that i shall have unilateral discretion to share the contents of this message, any subsequent private messages and your username, in perpetuity.


so what am i missing here, folks?

ed
 
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emap quoth:
almost forgot [walk by trouting of silverwhisper]
o sure, haven't seen hide or hair of you in months and you think you can just waltz in & trout throwdown? think again, missy.

[baleen whale wallops emap]

:p

bailadora quoth:
man, i'd love to see that. i won't join in 'cause i'm a rank novice compared to the rest of you, but oh hell yeah. that'd be one awesome post.
don't be so modest, bail: being online for any length of time means that somewhere, deep inside, there's a lurking firebreather. we just need to find her is all. :>

minxie quoth:
OK friends and neighbors--release the hounds. how would you answer this fine gentleman?
are you here to be a whore tonight?
i would say: yes, absolutely--but definitely not for you, complete & total stranger that i don't know and now never want to know.

pmann, that was pretty funny. :D

bail quoth:
but see, you guys deliver the slapdown with such wit and style. me - i just unload with both barrels. it's.....like the sniper rifle vs the shotgun.
there's a lot to be said for blunt force trauma, you know. just saying... :D

firefly69 quoth:
also should mention that as you can see- I'm more of a lurker then a poster, but even I've received a few pm's!

heres one:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"hey there! how are you? i'm (name), (age), (residence)- brown hair, blue eyes 6'0 and fit. i love run, be outside, read, have fun with friends, sex, and i have quite the sarcastic streak. my friends have no idea how horny or kinky i am. i would love to chat and have some fun, what are you up to? hope to hear from you soon."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
not nasty or anything, but definitely trolling. i bet a lot of women got the same one. of course he had absolutely no posts on the forum at all.
honestly, that sounds like what he might send on dating sites.

xbuxombabex quoth:
the bland cut & paste ones annoy me even more than the really crude ones - today's offering -

hey my names asshat i'm x years old and think I may be the kind if lad you are looking to chat with on here. you look good and sound fun so would be great to hear from you x

oh asshat - you're so dull!
you know, i think that a form response to a form question is pretty much the optimal response. they didn't put a lot of thought into it: why should you?:>

ed
 
rainshine: do share!

you know, i think it would be kinda neat if laurel & manu required 100 posts to send PMs.

ed
 
you know, i think it would be kinda neat if laurel & manu required 100 posts to send PMs.
That's a great idea!
I think it'd be good too, silverwhisper, because I have an Inbox full of pretty banal garbage, that started from my sign up here.... it's enough to make most sane women turn right around and back out the door.
It can get really overwhelming, particularly if you feel like you have to be polite to everyone.

Welcome to Lit, BTW. :)
 
That's a great idea!It can get really overwhelming, particularly if you feel like you have to be polite to everyone.

Welcome to Lit, BTW. :)

I know Eilan must really struggle with the whole polite thing. It must be so tough biting your tongue and holding back when people write their douchebaggery. Unfortunately, you found out how to turn off your PMs. Because, if I had my way, I'd be bothering you every day until you loved me. And I :heart: The Simpsons too! (seasons 1-11ish) And the muumuu episode is great. I often use the "I wash myself with a rag on a stick" comment. One would be surprised how often that is applicable.

And Rainshine... Glad to see that you stuck around in spite of all the terrible PMs. That's good to know. Flowers huh? Is that all it takes to impress girls around here?

Hey ladies...


dead-flowers--img-m691b8a3137efc7f63822523b06eecd5e.jpg
 
I know Eilan must really struggle with the whole polite thing. It must be so tough biting your tongue and holding back when people write their douchebaggery. Unfortunately, you found out how to turn off your PMs. Because, if I had my way, I'd be bothering you every day until you loved me. And I :heart: The Simpsons too! (seasons 1-11ish) And the muumuu episode is great. I often use the "I wash myself with a rag on a stick" comment. One would be surprised how often that is applicable.
Yeah, I turned them completely off last week so I could get ready for the first week of classes without feeling guilty about not PM-ing people. I'm a horrible correspondent.

When I turn them back on, I'll make sure to add you to my Buddy List so you can profess your undying love for me whenever you want. I'm narcissistic that way. :)
 
:rolleyes: I feel sorry for the ones who have sent you the EXACT same PM only a week ago, and you didn't answer them then either.

Don't feel sorry for those douchers.

Yeah, I turned them completely off last week so I could get ready for the first week of classes without feeling guilty about not PM-ing people. I'm a horrible correspondent.

When I turn them back on, I'll make sure to add you to my Buddy List so you can profess your undying love for me whenever you want. I'm narcissistic that way. :)

lets_bee_friends_card-p137774891592009613en8cp_325.jpg
 
So, recently I got a garden-variety 'how r u?' potential asshat... you know the kind - where 'how r u' is the message and the whole of the message. This gentleman, despite having 7 posts under his name, I search and can only find one post... which he has oh-so-helpfully blanked. :) How is it so that I see 7 posts under his name, but can only find one?
 
when you do a lit search for posts, etc, by default it halts the search at 6 months ago or something like that. try it again but look at the default date range.

note that lit makes you wait about a minute or so between searches.

ed
 
Help! I got 2 in one day. Do I win a prize? One of these fine gentlemen has sent me this pm 3 times. The first time I tried sarcastically answering, the second time I ignored. I figure third time fair game right?

So how do I respond?

perpetual asshat said:
Title: bluilacgrl- How about I climb...

between those hot legs and suck on your naughty pussy while you chat with all of your Lit boys?

Or aren't you that kind of girl?

;-)

And then I received this stellar one as well


new asshat said:
Title: hey

may i ask you
have you ever left your wet panties for some elese to find them ? ;)

I mean really?
 
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Respond this way:

I am that kind of girl. And I want you to climb between my legs. I want you to rub my legs. Pull down my panties. Lick me. And then you know what I want you to do next?

Then click send. When he writes back, wanting to know. Say, I want you to pull down my panties, take your tongue out and lick me. Lick my thighs. Lick my ass. My balls. And then suck on my penis until I cum in your mouth.
 
Yeah a big rock got dislodged somewhere and they all came crawling out from under it this week.

perpetual asshat: I'd say, "Look asshat, you sent me this 3 times now. Go get in your rape van, and go cruise the roller rinks, or bowling alleys, or somewhere equally lame to get some new pick up lines. Nothing could be worse than what you are using now. I wouldn't let you lick the cat box, let alone my box."

Or conversely, "Congratulations! You have been chosen to be featured in a thread dedicated to gentleman with your style and finesse," and then provide a link to the asshat thread.

The one I got on Tues, was an unsolicited dick picture with his wang hanging out of his zipper. I sent back, "Excuse me but do you know your zipper is down? And really, you were proud enough of that lil thing to snap a picture of it? It's so tiny and precious!" Oddly he did not reply. . .
 
The one I got on Tues, was an unsolicited dick picture with his wang hanging out of his zipper. I sent back, "Excuse me but do you know your zipper is down? And really, you were proud enough of that lil thing to snap a picture of it? It's so tiny and precious!" Oddly he did not reply. . .

Reminds me of a lovely comeback I heard somewhere: "Oh wow! It's just like a penis only smaller!"
 
Yeah a big rock got dislodged somewhere and they all came crawling out from under it this week.

perpetual asshat: I'd say, "Look asshat, you sent me this 3 times now. Go get in your rape van, and go cruise the roller rinks, or bowling alleys, or somewhere equally lame to get some new pick up lines. Nothing could be worse than what you are using now. I wouldn't let you lick the cat box, let alone my box."

Or conversely, "Congratulations! You have been chosen to be featured in a thread dedicated to gentleman with your style and finesse," and then provide a link to the asshat thread.

The one I got on Tues, was an unsolicited dick picture with his wang hanging out of his zipper. I sent back, "Excuse me but do you know your zipper is down? And really, you were proud enough of that lil thing to snap a picture of it? It's so tiny and precious!" Oddly he did not reply. . .

I think the best thing you can say to a guy to insult his penis is, "It is so cute!!!!"

Although, I love the "it's like a penis, only smaller". That's class.
 
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