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...It left my head spinning. My stream of consciousness was more like a raging torrent, and I didn't even try to contain it. I just let it flow over me and before I knew it,...
One of my favorite similes, albeit a little over-the-top ('Cold Shock', the story it comes from, is way over-the-top) the description follows the two women felching ejaculate from the heroine's anus with a straw, followed by a cum-kiss:
When their lips met in a frantic, mauling kiss, cum flowed down their cheeks, dripping onto their tits as they undulated in the slippery cream, their slimy tongues thrashing like alligators wrestling in a milk pond.
I guess my butthole panicked on it's own 'cause it really tightened up on him like it was trying to pinch off one of those hard turds you get after eating a lot of cheese.
He sounded like a kitten when you drop a refrigerator on its tail. I was so scared.
I like using similes for describing body parts. Much better than usung numerical measurements:
"His cock was as long and hard as a pipe bomb and twice as dangerous."
"Her pubic hair was trimmed into a tidy patch, as neat and triangular as Lenin's beard." (spoken of a beautiful female Russian spy)
"Her breasts hung on her chest like two ripe cantaloupes, with just the perfect amount of sag. Her nipples pointed straight forward, as stiff and brown as two wine corks."
"His hips continued their relentless thrusting, vibrating like a paint mixer in a hardware store. His thumb flicked back and forth on her clit like a telegraph operator with epilepsy."
(These are all from my spy spoof, Femme Fatale.
Not in writing but I have never forgotten an old Yorkshireman's description of a very mouthy opinionated young man.
" Eee lad. You're like a young thrush, (small bird) all beak and asshole."
One of my favourite Australianisms: "he couldn't pour beer out of a gumboot with instructions on the heel".
I saw a thread recently entitled "Inappropriate metaphors." I'd thought I'd go in the opposite direction: what's a metaphor or simile that you've included in a story that you've written that you especially like? It can be comical or serious.