CJontherocks
Soul Whisperer
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2004
- Posts
- 1,362
I'd like to talk about the whole top and bottom thing.
Until just recently, I noticed a great many men here claim, either explicity or implicitly, to be "bottoms," while others talk about being a "top." Some guys like fucking, while some like being fucked. But there weren't any who talked of both; no middle ground.
Then I came upon a thread (and forgive me, but I can't remember which thread) where a number of men spoke of enjoying a little... okay, a lot... of both. My own thoughts are closer to this idea.
I'm more of a "middle." And by that, I don't mean literally, although that is a fantasy I'd like to experience some day. I mean simply that I equally enjoy fucking and being fucked. I enjoying pleasing a man, as well as being pleased by a man. I like sex with men in a way that's more on equal footing. Neither top nor bottom; no domme, no sub. But sometimes a little of both.
Of course, I've gone through all the thought processes regarding personal identity and this "category" or that... I don't categorize myself in any way except to acknowledge that I am a bisexual man. But sometimes, I wonder if I'm just a little wishy-washy about the whole thing. I really enjoy being the pleasurer, but don't really like the idea of being submissive. If I'm fucking a man, and by that I mean my dick is sliding in and out of his ass or mouth, I don't think of him as being submissive. I feel the same way if I'm the one with the cock inside me. Effeminate men don't turn me on, and I don't consider myself to be one. I prefer effeminate women and masculine men. But I maintain my masculinity with either.
Now I'm concerned about two things. First is the fact that in the paragraph above, I identified who is doing the fucking with who is offering the dick. I don't think that way about women. In my head, having sex with a woman is equal fucking. She's fucking me; I'm fucking her; we're fucking. Second, I also identified femininity with who is being fucked. Does this say something about the way I think? Maybe I'm overanalyzing and simply used the descriptions for clarity. I like to think I feel the same about women as I do about men, but I'm not sure that's true. I'm not sure it has to be true.
Your thoughts?
Until just recently, I noticed a great many men here claim, either explicity or implicitly, to be "bottoms," while others talk about being a "top." Some guys like fucking, while some like being fucked. But there weren't any who talked of both; no middle ground.
Then I came upon a thread (and forgive me, but I can't remember which thread) where a number of men spoke of enjoying a little... okay, a lot... of both. My own thoughts are closer to this idea.
I'm more of a "middle." And by that, I don't mean literally, although that is a fantasy I'd like to experience some day. I mean simply that I equally enjoy fucking and being fucked. I enjoying pleasing a man, as well as being pleased by a man. I like sex with men in a way that's more on equal footing. Neither top nor bottom; no domme, no sub. But sometimes a little of both.
Of course, I've gone through all the thought processes regarding personal identity and this "category" or that... I don't categorize myself in any way except to acknowledge that I am a bisexual man. But sometimes, I wonder if I'm just a little wishy-washy about the whole thing. I really enjoy being the pleasurer, but don't really like the idea of being submissive. If I'm fucking a man, and by that I mean my dick is sliding in and out of his ass or mouth, I don't think of him as being submissive. I feel the same way if I'm the one with the cock inside me. Effeminate men don't turn me on, and I don't consider myself to be one. I prefer effeminate women and masculine men. But I maintain my masculinity with either.
Now I'm concerned about two things. First is the fact that in the paragraph above, I identified who is doing the fucking with who is offering the dick. I don't think that way about women. In my head, having sex with a woman is equal fucking. She's fucking me; I'm fucking her; we're fucking. Second, I also identified femininity with who is being fucked. Does this say something about the way I think? Maybe I'm overanalyzing and simply used the descriptions for clarity. I like to think I feel the same about women as I do about men, but I'm not sure that's true. I'm not sure it has to be true.
Your thoughts?
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