Plausible Birth Control

Put her on the pill. Women use the pill even if they are divorced and single-- ESPECIALLY if they are divorced and single, for crissake.

Why? She might hope that there might be, some day, a reasonable need. She might want to control the timing of her periods-- regardless of 'hormonal issues,' having periods is in itself a hormonal issue.


Also, at the age you're suggesting, she might well be past menopause and not need BC at all.
 
I think the next wave of story lines will not even feature sex at all.

What better birth control than celibacy?

We can write about intimate handshakes and risque stares.

I'm sorry, but A all this time you're trying to make your tale realistic could have been spent writing and B.

This is a damn erotica/porn site. Jeez is it getting so impossible for people to check real life at the door anywhere?

Tell you what, post this on facebook and you'll get a thousand answers.

Shut up. OP wants to get a detail of his story down. You aren't the porn police, you don't get to come in and say that we're going too far.

And to OP, I think IUD would be the best choice. Also, she could have gotten a tubal ligation.
 
Vitriol

Interesting the vitriol my post inspired, and from unusual sources at that. Started off on the wrong foot and kept going that way I guess.

I rarely go into specifics in the AH. Somebody dislikes the idea, they can't even deal with a nuts and bolts question almost non-related to the concept.

I'll touch on some points over the posts adding in more specifics for those who've not completely tuned me out yet.

I'll break it up over multiple replies to hopefully add readability.

Why bother?
I wanted to stretch myself with concepts I avoid. The self improvement over the course of the work coupled with the joy of writing it > scores or fapability.

I care a whole lot more about her headspace than crotchspace. The woman has marginalized herself and sexuality hence not having b.c. a part of her life. Im considering her actively AVOIDING it as an excuse not to be intimate with a perfectly acceptable man.

I suppose it could read as a mature re-coming of age tale, if I have the chops. I understand completely this falls low on the interest/excitement spectrum 'round here. Thank goodness for me I love the concept and I'm the only one required to do the heavy lifting.
 
Im dumbstruck

I think the next wave of story lines will not even feature sex at all.

What better birth control than celibacy?

We can write about intimate handshakes and risque stares.

I'm sorry, but A all this time you're trying to make your tale realistic could have been spent writing and B.

This is a damn erotica/porn site. Jeez is it getting so impossible for people to check real life at the door anywhere?

Tell you what, post this on facebook and you'll get a thousand answers.
Easily the most interesting/confusing post of the bunch. You are pretty much the reason why I decided I'd tackle this piece in the first place. You often beat the "write on your own terms, not solely for the masses" drum and I finally heard the call about a week or so ago with this project.

Then you liken my research to a FBook wall post.

Strangely, old you advice has me taking new you advice with a grain of salt.

I get where you're going with the whole "state of affairs" thing but the LC I know doesn't give a flying fuck about that when he writes and advises others to do the same.

Sorry if my "neutered" porn touched an overworked nerve. I very much would like to draw you back into the discussion (we've spoken before and I respect you greatly) but yeah, if Im f'ing looney toons on this one to you, I see there's little point.
 
:)

Put her on the pill. Women use the pill even if they are divorced and single-- ESPECIALLY if they are divorced and single, for crissake.

Why? She might hope that there might be, some day, a reasonable need. She might want to control the timing of her periods-- regardless of 'hormonal issues,' having periods is in itself a hormonal issue.


Also, at the age you're suggesting, she might well be past menopause and not need BC at all.

Thank you for this Stella, truly.
It gave me a sense that I can throw in b.c. with no fuss, no muss even into a non-sexual woman's life without long winded "whys and wherefores" It seems like it can be "it just is" and leave it at that. (even if shes trapped at the south pole alone for a year)

Probably not going in that direction with this story but I love knowing how I can do things tidier in future. Thanks again.
 
Shut up. OP wants to get a detail of his story down. You aren't the porn police, you don't get to come in and say that we're going too far.

And to OP, I think IUD would be the best choice. Also, she could have gotten a tubal ligation.
C2BK brings along her usual "aha" moments again. Researched and think you hit the best "holdover from another sexual life" with the IUD.

It seems just about all other options have an expiration period, short use life, or daily routine to them which Im thinking I very much want her to be avoiding (taking say the pill everyday or getting shots every three months is a regular reminder shes not having sex (I think pushing the pill even as something shes done all her life still wouldnt completely negate her thinking about the anti-pregnancy usage of the product)

I'm aware this all sounds like a roadtrip to watch grass grow everybody.

Its about the journey, not the destination. Fun will be had. I promise. :D
 
Damn, I was hoping your time period would be the classical era so I could discuss silphium...
 
Damn, I was hoping your time period would be the classical era so I could discuss silphium...
I wikipedia'ed that. Fascinating. Sadly, you struck the nail cleanly on the head. It would be long long gone.

Though if I go hippy child angle she could go herbal home remedy and I could make it a roaring success or a very unfortunate old wives tale. :p
 
Thank you for this Stella, truly.
It gave me a sense that I can throw in b.c. with no fuss, no muss even into a non-sexual woman's life without long winded "whys and wherefores" It seems like it can be "it just is" and leave it at that. (even if shes trapped at the south pole alone for a year)

Probably not going in that direction with this story but I love knowing how I can do things tidier in future. Thanks again.
If she really is trapped for a year, she might be taking the pill nonstop so as to not have any periods at all. It's SO much easier than dealing with the waste disposal...
 
:eek:

Doesn't that mess up the innards?
No... having periods every month messes up the innards, actually. There are several new bc's that go three or four months between periods.

The reason the pill is set up the way it is is because the doctor that developed it, believe it or not-- was Catholic. He wanted to give good Catholic ladies a better handle on the rhythm method. The church doesn't want good Catholics to have a handle on their birth control though, it wants them to have babies. So the Pope said nope, and, IIR, the doctor left the church in disgust. But it never occurred to him that we don't need to menstruate at all. We only need to ovulate the one time, when we want to get pregnant.
 
No... having periods every month messes up the innards, actually. There are several new bc's that go three or four months between periods.

The reason the pill is set up the way it is is because the doctor that developed it, believe it or not-- was Catholic. He wanted to give good Catholic ladies a better handle on the rhythm method. The church doesn't want good Catholics to have a handle on their birth control though, it wants them to have babies. So the Pope said nope, and, IIR, the doctor left the church in disgust. But it never occurred to him that we don't need to menstruate at all. We only need to ovulate the one time, when we want to get pregnant.

Hmmm. I don't know. I was under the impression that messing with something that's natural always causes issues and side effects that you might not want to deal with. Like having trouble with getting pregnant later on if you suppress the periods too much.

How does having periods every month mess up the innards? Why would that be a problem?
 
Hmmm. I don't know. I was under the impression that messing with something that's natural always causes issues and side effects that you might not want to deal with. Like having trouble with getting pregnant later on if you suppress the periods too much.

How does having periods every month mess up the innards? Why would that be a problem?
"having trouble getting pregnant" is a favorite threat for just about everything isn't it... If only!

But women really aren't meant to menstruate, we are supposed to make babies. That would be the ultimate "natural" way to live. So a girl might have her period a couple times, get married off, make her first baby. No period for nine months, right? And then she won't have a period as long as she's breastfeeding the baby. She can --and women do-- continue heavy nursing for as long as four years, long after the kid has started eating solids, untill the kid weans itself. Then she'll maybe have another period-- and then another pregnancy.

Under "natural" conditions, women will have maybe a dozen menstruation episodes in her entire life span. And of course, a alrge number of offspring, not many of whom will survive under "natural" conditions.

We don't want to have that many babies, and we don't live that kind of "natural" life. And, we don't have to. But we really do not have to suffer the estrogen/progesterone tide-- every month. It's not good for our bodies; A lot of researchers are saying that's a major contributor to breast cancer. And it's not good for our minds-- or our husband's minds either. PMS becomes a non-thing when we don't menstruate.

Maybe you can find citations, I can't remember how to google ATM...:eek:
 
Euphony, safe sex is a topic guaranteed to excite debate! Keep your feet in the boat and if you get tired of acerbic remarks, come over to Naked Party and have a flirt instead.

JackLuis, shut up about Roberta's mother! She is a beige cow! We don't care about her getting reamed, we just want to know about sweet lovely Roberta. Oh no, and now he's got some hairdresser floating around his story - talk about plot bunnies, why don't you let the old lady have a hairdo, that will probably be more excitement than she can take!

:rose:
 
"having trouble getting pregnant" is a favorite threat for just about everything isn't it... If only!

But women really aren't meant to menstruate, we are supposed to make babies. That would be the ultimate "natural" way to live. So a girl might have her period a couple times, get married off, make her first baby. No period for nine months, right? And then she won't have a period as long as she's breastfeeding the baby. She can --and women do-- continue heavy nursing for as long as four years, long after the kid has started eating solids, untill the kid weans itself. Then she'll maybe have another period-- and then another pregnancy.

Under "natural" conditions, women will have maybe a dozen menstruation episodes in her entire life span. And of course, a alrge number of offspring, not many of whom will survive under "natural" conditions.

We don't want to have that many babies, and we don't live that kind of "natural" life. And, we don't have to. But we really do not have to suffer the estrogen/progesterone tide-- every month. It's not good for our bodies; A lot of researchers are saying that's a major contributor to breast cancer. And it's not good for our minds-- or our husband's minds either. PMS becomes a non-thing when we don't menstruate.

Maybe you can find citations, I can't remember how to google ATM...:eek:
Yep, it's true that breastfeeding lowers the chance of menstruation but only until the mother is nursing heavily. As the baby requires less breast milk and more other food, the mother will start to ovulate and have periods even if she's still breastfeeding infrequently. Link.

With popping a kid out every year women might not have as many periods, but that is still natural. What I meant by natural is - without the interference of man-made drugs/chemicals. Everything that you mentioned in your post is natural. Yes, menstruation is stopped naturally in case of pregnancy or breastfeeding a baby only because the body no longer requires the gunk needed to line the uterus in preparation for another pregnancy. Introducing something not natural to the mix will always result in side-effects and complications. Link: End of page 2 and all of page 3 shows the jury is still out. And this opinion piece has some things to say too.

With regard to PMS, that is an interesting issue. I have a theory that the Western world's emphasis and scrutiny of mental health issues has made quite a few problems where none exist. Or at least blown them out of proportion. I have no links to support this part, just personal experience. :) I'm aware that PMS also has physical effects like cramps and aches, pains, etc. Those are mostly manageable through exercise and diet. In case of severe physical effects, light pain meds work.

And for the OP, this link probably has more information than you need. :p
 
And for the OP, this link probably has more information than you need. :p

Thanks for that. I went planned parenthood myself but webmd is solid.

My real issue was more the psychology of the b.c. choice (not the usage) and then things like expiration dates (on condoms, spermicides, etc) preparedness levels (would a non sexually active by choice woman invest the time and money in an Depp shot or IUD etc)

My charc is not a "well" woman emotionally so many choices she just doesnt want to deal with. Her former "well" self and her choices can carryover but shes not going to cover new ground/actively seek b.c. Its pretty much crippling to her. childless (were always waiting for the "right time" for kids, time ran out) widow

Oh and the off topic stuff was fascinating too.
 
I think a widow who was considering going out and about on the scene would think about birth control. You can make it part of the story - looking at a packet of condoms and finding out they've expired could be a good focus for her emotions about not having had a good time in a while.

As for the breastfeeding and not having another baby until a few years afterwards, when I gave birth to piglet, there was a woman on the ward who wanted to get home right away without a night's respite in the hospital - cuz she had a 9 month old baby at home to take care of as well as the brand new one. :eek:, it doesn't bear thinking about. Don't rely on Mother Nature to have sorted out some reasonable child-spacing strategy! LOL.
 
As for the breastfeeding and not having another baby until a few years afterwards, when I gave birth to piglet, there was a woman on the ward who wanted to get home right away without a night's respite in the hospital - cuz she had a 9 month old baby at home to take care of as well as the brand new one. :eek:, it doesn't bear thinking about. Don't rely on Mother Nature to have sorted out some reasonable child-spacing strategy! LOL.
The younger brother and I are 13 months apart. So he was conceived when I was 4 months old and my only source of nutrition was breastfeeding. ;)
 
My real issue was more the psychology of the b.c. choice (not the usage) and then things like expiration dates (on condoms, spermicides, etc) preparedness levels (would a non sexually active by choice woman invest the time and money in an Depp shot or IUD etc)

My charc is not a "well" woman emotionally so many choices she just doesnt want to deal with. Her former "well" self and her choices can carryover but shes not going to cover new ground/actively seek b.c. Its pretty much crippling to her. childless (were always waiting for the "right time" for kids, time ran out) widow
Sorry if you've covered this already but if she's a time ran out kind of widow then why is she even thinking of birth control? I would think she'd be much more concerned about STDs if she couldn't get pregnant due to age.

You might want to wander around the forums / Q&A section there. There are a few "which choice might be right for you" kind of articles there too if you haven't already made your choice.
 
Thanks for that. I went planned parenthood myself but webmd is solid.

My real issue was more the psychology of the b.c. choice (not the usage) and then things like expiration dates (on condoms, spermicides, etc) preparedness levels (would a non sexually active by choice woman invest the time and money in an Depp shot or IUD etc)

My charc is not a "well" woman emotionally so many choices she just doesnt want to deal with. Her former "well" self and her choices can carryover but shes not going to cover new ground/actively seek b.c. Its pretty much crippling to her. childless (were always waiting for the "right time" for kids, time ran out) widow

Oh and the off topic stuff was fascinating too.

A good point was made about age - after a certain point, birth control just isn't an issue because a woman can't get pregnant. So to some extent it depends on how old your character is.

I'll just throw my two cents in on the BC issue in general -- I find that the reality of it often helps a story, whether I'm writing it or reading it. I, too, grew up when AIDS hit, and things like that. So if I'm reading or writing about such characters, having a mention of condoms, etc., does not destroy the mood for me at all. I find it hard not to at least include a line about it most times, b/c it fits with my characters.

But unless it's a crucial element of the story, I don't think a big discussion or explanation is necessary.
 
Yep, it's true that breastfeeding lowers the chance of menstruation but only until the mother is nursing heavily. As the baby requires less breast milk and more other food, the mother will start to ovulate and have periods even if she's still breastfeeding infrequently. Link.
yes, I did say the same thing. But a woman can manipulate that. And women do. And when we live "natural" we are often on the verge of malnutrition ourselves. It's not the same as a well-fed -- or over-fed-- population.
With popping a kid out every year women might not have as many periods, but that is still natural. What I meant by natural is - without the interference of man-made drugs/chemicals. Everything that you mentioned in your post is natural.
Yes, I was describing a "natural" way of life there. That's why.

And then I pointed out that we do not live that way anymore. Women are not baby-making machines.

Every thing you do, at least in this country, involves man-made chemicals one way or another. You want to not let manmade drugs interfere with your life? better start planning your funeral. it could be necessary next time you get a bad cut. Me, I plan to continue to use antibiotics, anti-virals, and also tylenol. :)

Yes, menstruation is stopped naturally in case of pregnancy or breastfeeding a baby only because the body no longer requires the gunk needed to line the uterus in preparation for another pregnancy. Introducing something not natural to the mix will always result in side-effects and complications. Link: End of page 2 and all of page 3 shows the jury is still out. And this opinion piece has some things to say too.
if the jury is still out, my love that means you cannot say "Will always" and be taken seriously. My opinion is that the opinion piece has nothing to do with safety, and everything to do with "But women like to have periods! It makes them all happy and sisterhood and shit!" -- which can be your reason, if you want. But is sure doesn't resonate with me.
With regard to PMS, that is an interesting issue. I have a theory that the Western world's emphasis and scrutiny of mental health issues has made quite a few problems where none exist. Or at least blown them out of proportion. I have no links to support this part, just personal experience. :) I'm aware that PMS also has physical effects like cramps and aches, pains, etc. Those are mostly manageable through exercise and diet. In case of severe physical effects, light pain meds work.
O---okay. You are welcome to that opinion yep, you sure are! You probably get some incredulous looks when you say that, amirite...because for so many women in this country, their lived experience just doesn't match up with your opinion.

I breastfed my first and had no periods for 2-1/2 years. I had two monthlies before I sparked with my second kid. He nursed for almost three years-- I had two periods in five years.
 
Sorry if you've covered this already but if she's a time ran out kind of widow then why is she even thinking of birth control? I would think she'd be much more concerned about STDs if she couldn't get pregnant due to age.

You might want to wander around the forums / Q&A section there. There are a few "which choice might be right for you" kind of articles there too if you haven't already made your choice.

My bad. Very poor wording on my part. "Time ran out" as in her husband died before they chose to have kids. It was always "in the plans" but careers, life, excuses got in the way. Also,. her setting aside her desire to have a family so as not to cause problems in the relationship.

No, she will not be Menopausal. Pregnancy will be a consideration for her.
 
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