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Any other nonbinary folks here?

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Kitten1339

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Nonbinary (genderfluid to be specific) trans person here! I was just wondering if there are other people in the forums who identify outside of the gender binary. I'd love to discuss gender stuff and how being nonbinary can affect your sexuality/the labels you use to describe your sexuality. Feel free to comment or ask questions whether or not you're a nonbinary person :)
 
Me, kinda-sorta. I get around the issue of what that makes my sexuality by not having a general description of my sexuality in broad terms. For a long time it was "so far I haven't met a guy who attracts me, but who knows?"
 
I'm pretty genderfluid, but I live in the bible belt so... mostly still in the closet. I tend to just try to, you know, suppress that shit unless I'm visiting my bf a few cities away, and then I can let lose. I wouldn't call myself trans tho. More the social concept of gender.
 
Wow, this is an oldie...

But I'll reply, anyway - I ID broadly as nonbinary. :rolleyes:
 
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It's a very interesting concept and something I've heard about before. Some days it does seem like a very apt description for how I'm feeling.
 
Hey, the more you know. It took me...roughly two decades to work it out - ideas one picks up from society and internalizes don't help - and this is what I've settled on even though most days I feel like labelling myself is just a hassle. Half the time I just stick with umbrella terms to involve the :confused: reaction.
 
Yes that's all so very true, the need for society to pigeonhole and label everything really is quite scary!

Not sure where I would fall in the 'label spectrum' - I just do what I'm most comfortable with which, unfortunately for most, involves blurring the so-called gender lines.
 
I agree 100% - I understand being very possessive of an identity (especially when it seems like everyone's trying to take it away from you), but sometimes it feels like people then cut themselves off from experiences or opportunities that could be super rewarding. It's part of the reason I find people's insistence that nonbinary genders are 'made up' or 'attention seeking' to be not only false but kind of limiting. It cuts them off from so many beautiful people, yanno?
 
Yes I know exactly what you mean

My occupation is professional and as a result I have to wear a suit and tie to work. I know for a fact that the majority of people there would be mortified to learn how I dress at home, sparking a whole 'ph my God he's a cross dresser storm'.

From my perspective, I actually like wearing a suit to work. But to feel sexy and desirable, I love wearing girly things. Not to look like a girl or to trick anybody, but because it feels good to me.

Society generally seems to have a problem with this fluidity, or so is my experience.
 
I kind of feel similarly about what I wear, tho it tends to change more based on convenience than how I want to present - 'do I feel like putting on makeup or sleeping a few more minutes?', for example, or the ever-challenging 'oh shit I forgot to put my laundry in the dryer guess it's laundry day clothes AGAIN'. Sometimes it's very much 'where are my badass boots I need to kick some ass'.

Compared to my presentation, my actual gender doesn't change - it just kind of lurks in the ether, refusing to conform to the binary. I used to refer to myself as a trans man, simply because that was easiest for other people to understand, but I'm so far past shooting myself in the foot for other people's comfort that I'm practically lapping it.

I love suits, fyi, but I can never find one that fits right since I'm pre-...a lot of things, and I can't afford to get one altered atm. ::sigh:: Someday...
 
GeeQT said:
I kind of feel similarly about what I wear, tho it tends to change more based on convenience than how I want to present - 'do I feel like putting on makeup or sleeping a few more minutes?', for example, or the ever-challenging 'oh shit I forgot to put my laundry in the dryer guess it's laundry day clothes AGAIN'. Sometimes it's very much 'where are my badass boots I need to kick some ass'.

Compared to my presentation, my actual gender doesn't change - it just kind of lurks in the ether, refusing to conform to the binary. I used to refer to myself as a trans man, simply because that was easiest for other people to understand, but I'm so far past shooting myself in the foot for other people's comfort that I'm practically lapping it.

I love suits, fyi, but I can never find one that fits right since I'm pre-...a lot of things, and I can't afford to get one altered atm. ::sigh:: Someday...
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Well, I can't find dresses that fit so I understand. Slim frame but my shoulders are too broad and my hips and butt too small. I have been fascinated by feminine things my whole life but never had any desire to act campy or swishy as some might say.

Didn't realize I could be attracted to a male until I was twenty and saw a beautiful feminine boy with an older man. That boy left a mark on me that eventually led me to having a couple of gay encounters. Those taught me that I am very submissive and that scared me away for quite some time.

I still get a sexual thrill from crossdressing but I also find I just like moving and sitting around the house in a pretty skirt and blouse. Going out in public, even just doing yard work in short sexy shorts with a racer back tank top would be great. I have no idea why that excites me.

So, I probably fit into the gender fluid a bit or maybe the just don't know what I am.
 
Either way, it's absolutely valid. Whether you are nonbinary or if you are 100% a cis man who presents femininely, you're no doubt cute af!

I'm sorry you've had trouble finding stuff, that's never any fun! Maybe a sundress or a sleeveless dress would work? I do find that in the absence of dresses that fit nicely, a skirt works very well. I love a nice, full skirt as much as I love my basketball shorts.
 
GeeQT said:
Either way, it's absolutely valid. Whether you are nonbinary or if you are 100% a cis man who presents femininely, you're no doubt cute af!

I'm sorry you've had trouble finding stuff, that's never any fun! Maybe a sundress or a sleeveless dress would work? I do find that in the absence of dresses that fit nicely, a skirt works very well. I love a nice, full skirt as much as I love my basketball shorts.
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Why thank you Gee (blush). I did try a sundress, ordered it online but it was too small in the chest. It would have been so cute! I did love short shorts. My legs are my best feature thanks to thousands of miles of cycling every year. What about you? What works best for you? I bet your so confident you can pull off anything.
 
Like I said, it kinda depends on my mood - a lot of the time finds me in shorts or jeans, boots, and a long-sleeved top or a button-down over a tee shirt. Sometimes I want the freedom of a skirt, though, but I'd probably wear more fitted tops or halters if I could find one that didn't reveal my binder!

Of any part of me from the neck down, my ass is probably the thing I'm most confident in - I'll wear loose shorts or pants I get from the men's section because a) pockets; b) the material is harder wearing for work or hiking; and c) POCKETS. I dig boots and sneakers from either section of a shoe store and am well versed in finding the right size in either. Sometimes I wear makeup, tho not generally too much cuz I work an active job that requires I wear a mask.

Really, my style tends to be pretty casual. Take now for instance. Wandering around an erotic chatroom, and I'm wearing workout pants and a henley. ^_^;;; Super sexy.

As to dresses, it's a shame the sundress didn't work out for you - nothing cuter than a confident guy in a sundress. I'm glad the shorts work out for ya, tho - we do what we can where we can, I s'pose.

Also, you sound super-confident in your physique, and that's always attractive no matter what it is.
 
It's been a long time since I've been around - any NB folks hanging around today?
 
GeeQT said:
It's been a long time since I've been around - any NB folks hanging around today?
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Yes, I am a non-binary person who hangs around. I prefer to use the term "whole person", lately. Having enjoyed my feminine and masculine aspects for a long time, all of that has merged into a whole person.
 
Hi! Nice to meet you - I haven't heard that term before! It's always nice to learn something new :3
 
Nice to meet you, too. I hope more people can free themselves from the bonds of constantly dividing humankind into two rigid categories. I celebrate liberation from these bonds every day.

I do find that more men in our society suffer from this affliction than women. I can do work projects with almost any man, but it is a rare man who understands how much of their personhood is feminine.
 
People have a tendency to attach so many negative connotations to femininity, that's not surprising - too many people shy away from it because they feel like it'll somehow make them weaker or gross or what-have-you, instead of embracing it. :/

I feel like gender, in general, is a personal, subjective thing, and using it to broadly categorize people is utterly useless and ultimately only does harm - like most of humanity's labels.
 
Whole person? Gah - I wish! Feel more like a bag of mad badgers. Fucking binary BS
 
MrBennet said:
Whole person? Gah - I wish! Feel more like a bag of mad badgers. Fucking binary BS
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It's funny you used the badger analogy, because I recently ran into a badger in the wild during a flood in Arizona. We just looked at each other. Since each of us had an escape route, neither felt cornered. I've noticed that badgers in my part of the world are not aggressive unless they feel cornered, and then they can be very aggressive.

I'm not quite sure what your point was, Mr. B, but you did seem a little upset.
 
Ha! My apologies for sounding a bit exasperated, but I frequently am. I am far from feeling a whole person and frequently find myself at odds with my emotions. As a ostensibly cis-gender man, I struggle to play the character expected of me by the binary world. I feel like a fraud.
I've had a number of great relationships with lovely women, but in the end they failed because I treated them as a sister not a lover or the hairy-chested man they supposed me to be. Recently I turned away the attention of a really nice woman, with whom I had much in common, because I didn't her to be deceived into thinking I was something I'm not. So yea, non-binary sucks as far as I'm concerned.
Anyways me,me,me :rolleyes: I won't mention it again but maybe this will sound familiar to another reader?
Here's some more badgers ;)
 
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So

A binary person is born one sex, denies that he/she is that sex and makes up what percentage of either sex he/she is.
Very complicated,
As age changes, does the peception of sexual identity change too?
I am curious and to how to address such a person.
Just saying,
 
KUJACK said:
A binary person is born one sex, denies that he/she is that sex and makes up what percentage of either sex he/she is.
Very complicated,
As age changes, does the peception of sexual identity change too?
I am curious and to how to address such a person.
Just saying,
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Well, if you subscribe to biological sex and being the same as gender, then you're on a non-starter in discussing non-binary but apologies if that's just a grammar thing. Complicated indeed - total brain-melt! What to call them - why not ask?
I do wonder if hormone levels have something to do with shifting perceptions, but I'm way out of my depth when it comes to endocrinology.
 
MrBennet said:
Ha! My apologies for sounding a bit exasperated, but I frequently am. I am far from feeling a whole person and frequently find myself at odds with my emotions. As a ostensibly cis-gender man, I struggle to play the character expected of me by the binary world. I feel like a fraud.
I've had a number of great relationships with lovely women, but in the end they failed because I treated them as a sister not a lover or the hairy-chested man they supposed me to be. Recently I turned away the attention of a really nice woman, with whom I had much in common, because I didn't her to be deceived into thinking I was something I'm not. So yea, non-binary sucks as far as I'm concerned.
Anyways me,me,me :rolleyes: I won't mention it again but maybe this will sound familiar to another reader?
Here's some more badgers ;)
Click to expand...

In my local cowboy world, there is a lot of pressure from the binary world. However, in the nearby city of Tucson, there is so much support for gender freedom... so much support for freedom in general. That makes a huge difference.

In the cowboy world, I do a lot of outdoor work with the manly men. In the city world, it seems my closest friends are women and gay men. I actually love both worlds, but probably could not fully be myself without the city connection. Here's a bit of Lit blasphemy: sex is not that great when there is no affection. Both men and women are capable of great affection.

But enough about me, me, me. You sound like a very nice and sensitive person. Anybody who appreciates badgers is a friend of mine.
 
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