Submissive Men.... Real ones.

I wish I could express how much I want to be the one you are looking for and need as much as I need you.
 
They Exist

Believe me Brittany, they are there. It's just sometimes difficult to see the subs in a sea of people looking for a cheap thril, but they exist.
 
Enjoying this thread

As a woman who is just coming to understand my Domme side I'm injoying the post in this thread.
I tend to be quiet and watchfull before I act, so I'm trying to learn about a whole new world (to me at least).
So thanks to all who have posted honest comments and experiences.
 
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I think a lot of it has to do with women not understanding that "submissive" does not mean "letting one walk all over you".
 
For me, one of the reasons I find it hard to connect with a female dominant is that I find it hard to put my submissive desires into words. I started realizing I have submissive tendencies when reading BDSM stories on Lit. The signs where there before of course (more of a giver then a taker in the bedroom, a tendency to be attracted to more mature women, often in a professional setting), but it wasn't until I started reading these stories that I recognized my fantasies for what they were. Now being all new to being open about this, I find it hard to act on it online. As has been mentioned before, the BDSM personals board is not a great pace to be, at least in my opinion. To each his or her own of course, but I find most threads over there a bit rough or unsettling. I would like to find what some of you ladies heve described here. Getting to know one-another, having a D/s dynamic that feels natural and not forced, and having some fun in the proces. My greatest enemy in this search is as always myself, more precisely... my impatience at some point as I am browsing Lit, I get horny, the lizard brain takes over and the search for something meaningful changes to the search for instant gratification. I think this may be happening to other men on here as well...
love
-S-
 
I think a lot of it has to do with women not understanding that "submissive" does not mean "letting one walk all over you".
I donā€™t know jhenry, I think you inadvertently helped me reach an epiphany because being submissive for me is all about a woman walking all over me. I want her to take control over any part of my life she chooses knowing that I have completely surrendered myself to her.

So that makes it tough because between our two positions, is a continuum full of all kinds of kink.

So perhaps, with an abundance of respect to you MsBrittany, this might explain why you might find it so hard to find a real submissive man. There are a multitude of definitions of what that might look like.
 
Where have all the beautifully real submissive men gone? The ones who want to know the woman there kneeing in front of? Who crave the connection you can build?

I took a break for some personal reasons. Ive been back a day and the messages are just sad. "Im yours to hurt" "how can i serve you" " im submissive" What happened to actually getting to know someone? Respect and dignity? What you put forth is what you recieve. I feel like there arent any truly submissive men. Simply horny men or sad little boys.

Its hard to have a romantic heart in a hookup world....

If you're certifiably kinky, I'm your submissive, within reason and respect.
 
So perhaps, with an abundance of respect to you MsBrittany, this might explain why you might find it so hard to find a real submissive man. There are a multitude of definitions of what that might look like.

I totally agree with you, Lickewell, which is why I left a comment on one of your threads (Female Dommes ) and voiced this exact sentiment as pertains to your search for femdoms who are "100% dominant."

Humans are complex. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to be the same or that anyone must be "all or nothing" to identify with any given trait or characteristic.

Happy to see that you realize that. šŸ˜Š
 
I totally agree with you, Lickewell, which is why I left a comment on one of your threads (Female Dommes ) and voiced this exact sentiment as pertains to your search for femdoms who are "100% dominant."

Humans are complex. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to be the same or that anyone must be "all or nothing" to identify with any given trait or characteristic.

Happy to see that you realize that. šŸ˜Š
Hi Beatrix_B,

Yep I do recognize that. I agree with you that no Domme can be 100% Dominant. It would likely be very tiring to control everything.

But maybe 100% Dominant can be interpreted differently. To me 100% Dominant means thatā€™s the Domme can give or take whatever she chooses but can leave a sub to control whatever is of no interest to her. The Domme doesnā€™t control every aspect of a subā€™s life, but rather whatever she wants. Meanwhile, the sub appreciates the freedoms given but should have little control of what the Domme demands.

But thatā€™s my view...... and if thereā€™s one thing I have learned is that in the world of kink, there are as many perspectives as there are kinksters!!
 
My heart is fluttering at the thought.

I am a 23 year old guy. I want to develop a relationship of trust and lust that grows into a lifetime of happiness. I consider myself a normal guy, normal sex is good. However when I read stories about women taking over in sexual acts my heart skips a beat. When I read these stories of a woman claiming her man in a way that makes him feel wanted... No, that makes him feel needed.. I feel a since of longing. Am I submissive? Can't say for sure. Some of the darker side of it all scares me. That's why I need that trust to be developed. That's why I am here. Where is my minxy little wife to be? The woman that will fulfill my heart's secret desires? Or will I eventually settle for an average relationship? Who knows... I live in the Montgomery/Mobile Alabama area. Just saying ladies :) I'm hopeful.
 
I am a 23 year old guy. I want to develop a relationship of trust and lust that grows into a lifetime of happiness. I consider myself a normal guy, normal sex is good. However when I read stories about women taking over in sexual acts my heart skips a beat. When I read these stories of a woman claiming her man in a way that makes him feel wanted... No, that makes him feel needed.. I feel a since of longing. Am I submissive? Can't say for sure. Some of the darker side of it all scares me. That's why I need that trust to be developed. That's why I am here. Where is my minxy little wife to be? The woman that will fulfill my heart's secret desires? Or will I eventually settle for an average relationship? Who knows... I live in the Montgomery/Mobile Alabama area. Just saying ladies :) I'm hopeful.

When you find a partner ask her what she likes and tell her what you would like. You'll never get what you want if you dont ask. Younger people especially fail at this, simply not communicating what you're into or being truthful. Whatever it is your looking for in the physical part of the relationship, there is a girl out there for you, trust me.
In short, just ask or simply tell her what you want, its the quickest way to find out if you're compatible..

Hope this helps.
 
When you find a partner ask her what she likes and tell her what you would like. You'll never get what you want if you dont ask. Younger people especially fail at this, simply not communicating what you're into or being truthful. Whatever it is your looking for in the physical part of the relationship, there is a girl out there for you, trust me.
In short, just ask or simply tell her what you want, its the quickest way to find out if you're compatible..

Hope this helps.

I do appreciate the comment :) read and acknowledged. I like what you said because I believe communication and honesty are the way to go. So I like being straightforward about my feelings and dealing with problems head on.
 
I am a married, orally bi man. I introduced my second ( and younger ) wife to MMF a coupe of years ago. This led to a planned ( by me ) meeting with a former BF/Lover of hers. I am now almost totally submissive to him and my wife taunts me continually. I find the situation to be both extremely humiliating and highly arousing. So many mixed and deeply intense emotions and feelings. On the one hand, I want to remove this man, Steve, from our lives and get my wife back. On the other hand, I experience extraordinary sexual pleasure from having him dominate me and having my wife treat me in such a belittling way. Is this normal or weird?
 
^^^No, it's not normal. In fact, it's way out there on the short end of the curve. But it's still okay...you're in good company.
 
Hi Beatrix_B,

Yep I do recognize that. I agree with you that no Domme can be 100% Dominant. It would likely be very tiring to control everything.

But maybe 100% Dominant can be interpreted differently. To me 100% Dominant means thatā€™s the Domme can give or take whatever she chooses but can leave a sub to control whatever is of no interest to her. The Domme doesnā€™t control every aspect of a subā€™s life, but rather whatever she wants. Meanwhile, the sub appreciates the freedoms given but should have little control of what the Domme demands.

But thatā€™s my view...... and if thereā€™s one thing I have learned is that in the world of kink, there are as many perspectives as there are kinksters!!

I agree with you completely. Expectations should be discussed in this situation, otherwise thats where you see the guys who "say they are submissive" but if limits aren't mentioned, eventually it will backfire. I am talking from experience as it has happened to me - i have always been submissive, but there are lines as far as when it comes to my professional career or friendships - but of course there are gaps there that can be played with too to a point.
 
I totally agree with you, Lickewell, which is why I left a comment on one of your threads (Female Dommes ) and voiced this exact sentiment as pertains to your search for femdoms who are "100% dominant."

Humans are complex. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to be the same or that anyone must be "all or nothing" to identify with any given trait or characteristic.

Happy to see that you realize that. šŸ˜Š

Totally agree with this. Would have to be absolutely tiresome to be 100% dominant all the time...unless you just thrive on that sort of control. Then I could see it.

Me, I'm not into being 100% submissive all the time, but I am into being 100% submissive in the bedroom all the time.
 
I have always been a submissive girl. Lately my guy wants me to dominate him. Not in a bondage way but being more of a boss in the bed. This is so hard for me. Can anyone give me some pointers.
 
Totally agree with this. Would have to be absolutely tiresome to be 100% dominant all the time...unless you just thrive on that sort of control. Then I could see it.

Me, I'm not into being 100% submissive all the time, but I am into being 100% submissive in the bedroom all the time.[/QUOTE

. I also agree with you. With 52 in my second marriage. I told my beloved wife that I am submissive and want her to take charge in our sex life. That I would like to wear a cock cage and give her the keys to keep me chaste. My wife never had heard of male chastity nor never seen a cock cage. But she thought about my wish and gave it a chance.
We made an agreement for a six months test After this half year, we decided to make my chastity a part of our life.
It was successful and is still working. It has developed. I am now caged 24/7since the last three years and five months. Orgasmns are very seldom for me, but wife gets oral service nearly every day. We go to nudist beaches, me caged of course. That supports my exhibitionistic tendencies and sometimes we meet ineteresting people. I get a rough spanking every saturday and her best female friend is involved.
This is only in our erotic life. In every other parts of our life we are equal. And of course my wife always is my princess.
We both are very happy
 
. I also agree with you. With 52 in my second marriage. I told my beloved wife that I am submissive and want her to take charge in our sex life. That I would like to wear a cock cage and give her the keys to keep me chaste. My wife never had heard of male chastity nor never seen a cock cage. But she thought about my wish and gave it a chance.
We made an agreement for a six months test After this half year, we decided to make my chastity a part of our life.
It was successful and is still working. It has developed. I am now caged 24/7since the last three years and five months. Orgasmns are very seldom for me, but wife gets oral service nearly every day. We go to nudist beaches, me caged of course. That supports my exhibitionistic tendencies and sometimes we meet ineteresting people. I get a rough spanking every saturday and her best female friend is involved.
This is only in our erotic life. In every other parts of our life we are equal. And of course my wife always is my princess.
We both are very happy

Very glad to hear this. You have my best wishes for your continued happiness. :-D
 
I either became submissive or was shaped that way at an early age. I remember I was maybe 5 when two female friends locked me in a cabinet and left me there for awhile. I recall not being scared but extremely excited. Of course at that age, I had no idea what this meant. Another time, I asked the same girls to tie me to a lamp post. When untied, I ran to my mom and told her how much I liked it. Again, not grasping the significance of this.

To this day, the urge to feel helpless, especially with men, is a feeling I seek constantly . Please pm to discuss.
 
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