Dear X:

Dear X and Y and Z and any other letter I should add:
Never in my life have a met a group of such petty, backstabbing, drama-rama, shit slinging, gossip spreading little bitches before in my. entire. life. ever.
I hate this generation that is right after me. The lot of them need their mouths washed out with soap and their attutides adjusted.
My new motto at work is 'lose the 'tude'. That's right. I'm kickin it old school.
So X, Y, Z, and any other letter, get a life. Do a good deed. Get a different job. Something.

Dear Professor X,

In your email, you asked if I could "proofread and do some light editing" of your research proposal.

Bullshit! I didn't even get around to the proofreading and light editing. You sent me a document that was primarily written by the third author, who is not a native-English speaker. I know that neither you nor the second author read this over; though neither of you are native English speakers, I know you can both write well (with the exception of a few things that trip you both up, hence how I know you didn't write most of this piece of crap).

Additionally, it's clear that the three of you simply cut and pasted your sections in, without bothering to see if you repeated yourselves, or to see if you bounce around more than a hyper toddler.

Then you tell me that it's already late, and can I get it back ASAP. wtf?

Fixing your grammar mistakes? Fine, I could have done that. Catching the occasional leap in logic? Yup, I'm all over that. But you know I don't have a fig of knowledge in your study area. Yet here I am playing mind-reader with incomplete sentences, jargon, acronyms, and overuse of the words like "this," "it," "those," etc, not to mention run on sentences that I have to read ten times just to figure out what the hell you're saying. And sometimes I still have no idea after the tenth reading. I've had undergraduates who make more sense than this crap.

Plus, sending a student an email to ask for editing help is shitty. We can't say no; we know how academic politics works, and we know that--surprise!--our funding can either appear or disappear depending on professors' feelings, even if they aren't our advisor. So even though we'd had maybe one conversation in the three years we've known each other, I had to say yes. Thanks, jackass. This is why most professors send requests out to the list-serve instead of a direct email.

So now I'm in a situation of not having time to do what you need me to do. I have to return a paper that is so far from submission-ready it is laughable--there's no way in hell I'd send this in to a funder and ask for millions. Either you'll be pissed because I take too long to fix it, or you'll be pissed that I sent you something crappy. And even if I took days, it would still be crappy. That's what happens when you send a paper with cryptic phrases to someone in a completely unrelated area of study, and when, I don't know, the three authors think the paper is about three different things! Proofreading and "light editing" does not equal, "pick a hypothesis for us, fix the literature review to reflect this, change the research design and data sections to reflect this not-exactly-agreed-upon hypothesis, and make assumptions about what our collaborators halfway across the globe can do. Oh, and do it all in a day for menial pay while neglecting your own work. Thanks, and make sure you don't choose wrong!"

News flash: if I see only red from my track changes, and if I've made over ninety comments on a fourteen page proposal in addition to my sea of red, it's not my fault that it's still shitty. But why do I have a feeling it will somehow be made out to be my fault?

Signed,
a downtrodden and demoralized doctoral student

PS: The phrase is, "to the extent possible," not "to the extend possible." I corrected that five times.


ETA: Wow that's long. Sorry about that. I just needed to vent.
ETA2: And now I feel like a total heel since I just received an email thanking me for all the work I did, and listing all the ways I helped. Then again, maybe this is his way of ensuring I agree next time? Hmmm. I really have to find that line between being nice and being a pushover.

....................

Dear X-

In case you missed the memo, I don't allow rapists in my linkedIn network. Nice try, though.

Cheers,
-T

Dear self,

I promise you. One day, you'll have enough self-esteem that you don't have to avoid your own fucking blog because you posted an opinion on a book that offended one of your friends.

I promise you.

love,
~your self

Dear C,

I miss seeing you. I miss talking to you. I miss sharing things with you that I can't share with her. Our lives have taken differnt paths, but one things remains constant; I'm still in love with you. I think about you every day. When I close my eyes I see you. When I fantasize, It's you. You will always own a piece of my heart, and if you ever decide to collect it I'm yours regardless of the consequences.

Dear X,

Stop acting like it is the end of the world when something is late. This time especially, since you are asking for something that I did already, you had already, and I need more input from you than you are giving me.

Dear X,

I hope you are able to find the satisfaction, contentment, and passion that you deserve. I miss sharing in those moments of joy and release, in exploring a whole new world of desires that you awakened in me. For those experiences, I am eternally thankful.

Peace and all that jazz,
LY

Dear California,

Thanks for warming up to the point that I can sit around with no clothes on. The closet nudist in me is rejoicing.

love,
~me

dear X
stop blaming everything on me I work with two other people who are just as responsible for what you keep giving me shit for.

dear X
no, I don't want to, I'm not financially able to this year.

Dear X
Please take up responsibility and stop procrastinating on filing ur taxes. please it will help you, and help me help you get out of debt.

dear X
I hate you I don't care that most people would be shocked but I do. I wish I could forever distance myself from you

Dear song

get out of my head so I can stop listening to you. while you are an awesome ballad you are way to addicting.

Dear X,

Wish there were more hours in the day...

Everyday is special.

Thank You

Dear X:

I'm not going to torture myself because you decided to be stupid. Stop calling, texting, emailing, and generally being a Jerk. I gave you your chance. Now let me be happy.

-Pixie

Dear X,

Y.

Yours truly,

Z

Dear X,

The feelings you bring out of me....

Thank you

Dear X,

What I feel everyday, is a passion that can not be expressed in mere words. Some times the words aren't enough..

Me

Dear X

Thank you for this amazing E-Ticket Ride you have me on.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
*2*

Me

Dearest L.

Remind me never to phone you when I'm PMSing and you're still mood-swinging - you were prickly and I couldn't just laugh it off like normal. It upset me, ok? Finding out that my attempts at telling you I was still here for you and trying to amuse you merely annoyed you. I've never known what to do when depression hits you, and now I can't even contact you without worrying I'm just being irritating. But I can't just leave you to sort it out on your own. Yes, you know your own head best, but I've nearly lost you twice so you're not infalliable. There are times when I think that you're just too much trouble.

---

Dear uni friends,

You are not my parents. Thank you for worrying about me, but no thanks for making me feel guilty about walking off for TWO SECONDS. Ok, so I then couldn't find you and you couldn't find me, because my phone was out of charge. We were in a shopping centre ten minutes from home. I could probably do the walk -blindfolded-. I did said walk without a problem, because I assumed that you would give up on looking for me fairly quickly and head home, like sensible people. There was no need to worry and stress for over half an hour and to explicitly turn around and go "we see you a bit like a child". I like being looked after and I like not having responsibility, but I am coming to learn to my frustration that that attitude leads to you all thinking you -have- to look after me and that I cannot be trusted with any responsibility. I know you all mean well but BACK THE FUCK OFF.

--

PMS is bad. XD

dear x,

I let myself get distracted and I can't afford to do that anymore, it seriously could have killed me. I don't know what I am going to do, but I know I need to do something.

Dear X

Two hearts beat as one....

Me

Dear Cancer,


I hate you and the things you are doing to my family. You are vile and evil.

Dear X-

Sometimes I think your absentminded, socially-awkward professor thing is just an act designed to manipulate me.

Dear Daughter X,

If you and your children are going to get a vomiting bug, please can you time it better?

You wanted to use our garden for an event tomorrow. I had just erected the gazebo singlehanded, and cleared the builders' equipment which you knew would be there when you decided the date.

It would have helped if you, and they, had started to be sick a couple of hours earlier, before we had spent over one hundred pounds on party food that we'll now have to freeze, if we can.

I'm sorry that you and they are feeling so poorly. I hope that all of you recover soon but you had to cancel tomorrow's event so late that not just us but all those you had invited will have to rearrange - if they can.

Next time - a helping hand with the arrangements would be appreciated and please consult us before setting the date.

Og