Mine doesn’t always work….

SpectreT said:

Two points.

One, this whole thread is about cocks that don't necessarily do what their owners want or expect them to do, a topic that can lead to quite a bit of angst over their sexuality to begin with, and get them a lot of aggro from their SO, into the bargain. Heck, there's some figure; I'll have to do the research, but some startling percentage of men who admit that they can't come unless they're masturbating or being masturbated.

You absolutely can't tell gay or straight from penis behavior. (Well, maybe if a guy only gets hard in the locker room at his gym, or when he sees another hard-on, that might be a sign, but even that's a stretch.) So posting something like that in this thread is borderline on trolling, unless you genuinely weren't aware of such facts.

Two, by posting in a thread on a public forum, you're inviting comment and question from any and all who have an ability to post here, so it really doesn't matter who you were specifically addressing. If you only want one response, PM the person you want the response from.

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I fully agree with both points. I'll add more later.

I was asked to post this for a friend. Shank



This is a crucial topic - not just for men, but for heterosexual women as well.

In the absence of a firm understanding of what's really going on, the perceived inability to arouse or please one's mate can be painful indeed - leading to a downward spiral in the woman's confidence and trust in both herself and her role in the relationship.

I would like to give an extreme example from my own personal experience.

My ex-husband developed bipolar depression while we were married. His particular flavor of this disease manifested itself in various devastating ways, including the slow & steady destruction of his libido.

It began with him having trouble achieving orgasm, either from oral or penetrative sex. Unfortunately, neither of us knew he was sick. We just knew the obvious: I could no longer please him to the point of orgasm.

At first, he would say - "No problem. I must just be tired these days." Over time, however, as his frustration grew (and his illness progressed), he started to blame me for what was going on. Openly, explicitly, and in an extremely cruel way.

The situation & the verbal abuse worsened. Eventually, our relationship progressed to & beyond the point of no return. It was late when I realized he was sick, and even later (after the divorce) when he received the medical treatment that he desperately needed.

With the benefit of time, hindsight, and extensive research on the subject of depression, I can accept what happened (intellectually). But the emotional scars from the things he said to me remain, and it is unlikely that my self-esteem will ever fully recover. (Acknowledging something with your head, and believing it with your heart, are two entirely different things.)

This is a long way of saying - Yes, those things have a mind of their own. But sometimes they are telling you something important, and you should pay attention.

As an additional contribution to this thread, I would like to quote from the National Institute of Health's webpage on the subject of erectile dysfunction. Though ED is not exactly what you are talking about here, this information may be useful in some cases.

"Damage to nerves, arteries, smooth muscles, and fibrous tissues, often as a result of disease, is the most common cause of ED. Diseases—such as diabetes, kidney disease, chronic alcoholism, multiple sclerosis, atherosclerosis, vascular disease, and neurologic disease—account for about 70 percent of ED cases. Between 35 and 50 percent of men with diabetes experience ED.

Lifestyle choices that contribute to heart disease and vascular problems also raise the risk of erectile dysfunction. Smoking, being overweight, and avoiding exercise are possible causes of ED.

Also, surgery (especially radical prostate and bladder surgery for cancer) can injure nerves and arteries near the penis, causing ED. Injury to the penis, spinal cord, prostate, bladder, and pelvis can lead to ED by harming nerves, smooth muscles, arteries, and fibrous tissues of the corpora cavernosa.

In addition, many common medicines—blood pressure drugs, antihistamines, antidepressants, tranquilizers, appetite suppressants, and cimetidine (an ulcer drug)—can produce ED as a side effect.

Experts believe that psychological factors such as stress, anxiety, guilt, depression, low self-esteem, and fear of sexual failure cause 10 to 20 percent of ED cases. Men with a physical cause for ED frequently experience the same sort of psychological reactions (stress, anxiety, guilt, depression). Other possible causes are smoking, which affects blood flow in veins and arteries, and hormonal abnormalities, such as not enough testosterone."

http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudisea...mpotence/#cause




.

Hm.

Overweight? - check.

Self-diagnosed, untreated manic-depressive? - Check.

The ol' penile barometer isn't just a measure of sexual desire or interest - it can be a silent leading indicator of other physical, mental, or emotional issues.

Here's a link to a handout from the McKinley Center at the University of Illinois. I'm still researching, trying to find that study I mentioned earlier.

http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/handouts/male_function_dysfunction.html

Stuponfucious said:

Uh well, the point is that if a guy doesn't come from fucking a girl or from getting a blowjob, he's probably gay.

But I wasn't asking you anyway.

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What a silly thing to say.

But since it comes from someone who is clearly clever and astute enough to post over 26,000 times in the august company of the General Board, I'll assume you're just joking.

For those who may not be so well informed, I'd refer them to the detailed, and heartfelt, response by Shankara20 for his friend above.

A little less learned response might explain that it could be caused by situations that are chemical, psychological, or biological. It could be something as "simple" as performance anxiety (like many forms of ED), or it could be what is called "retarded ejaculation" (a situation that plagues and blesses -- more in a moment) some in this lifestyle, and it could even be caused by something as commonplace as an enlarged prostate or nerve damage caused by faulty catheterization during surgery.

Some people, by the way, even like it. Such a man, given a mate who truly loves sex, can last many times longer than the more typical problem had by someone who ejaculates prematurely. It is in fact a control reflex of someone who chooses, or learns, to string so-called "little orgasms" together without ejaculating. Of course, if "cumming" is the be-all and end-all, as it is for many men, then it's can be a problem ... still not sure it ranks up there with lung cancer, but I would sympathize.

Now, if it's all the same to the rest of you folk, I'd rather this return to the fun-loving thread and celebration of our manic peni that this started as and not have to worry about whether someone's sexuality is threatened or not.

Sheesh.

Time out. Everyone have a banana.
ST

SpectreT said:

Two points.

One, this whole thread is about cocks that don't necessarily do what their owners want or expect them to do, a topic that can lead to quite a bit of angst over their sexuality to begin with, and get them a lot of aggro from their SO, into the bargain. Heck, there's some figure; I'll have to do the research, but some startling percentage of men who admit that they can't come unless they're masturbating or being masturbated.

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Google doesn't count as scientific research.

You absolutely can't tell gay or straight from penis behavior. (Well, maybe if a guy only gets hard in the locker room at his gym, or when he sees another hard-on, that might be a sign, but even that's a stretch.) So posting something like that in this thread is borderline on trolling, unless you genuinely weren't aware of such facts.

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Maybe you can't, but that's not saying much judging from your protruding brow ridge.

I've been accused of trolling before, and most of the time it was closer to being true then now, especially since a few times I actually did follow someone around purely for the purpose of saying snarky things to them totally off-topic.

Which is the actual definition of trolling BTW.

Two, by posting in a thread on a public forum, you're inviting comment and question from any and all who have an ability to post here, so it really doesn't matter who you were specifically addressing. If you only want one response, PM the person you want the response from.

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Well, duh. WTF are you babbling about anyway?

Softouch911 said:

What a silly thing to say.

But since it comes from someone who is clearly clever and astute enough to post over 26,000 times in the august company of the General Board, I'll assume you're just joking.

For those who may not be so well informed, I'd refer them to the detailed, and heartfelt, response by Shankara20 for his friend above.

A little less learned response might explain that it could be caused by situations that are chemical, psychological, or biological. It could be something as "simple" as performance anxiety (like many forms of ED), or it could be what is called "retarded ejaculation" (a situation that plagues and blesses -- more in a moment) some in this lifestyle, and it could even be caused by something as commonplace as an enlarged prostate or nerve damage caused by faulty catheterization during surgery.

Some people, by the way, even like it. Such a man, given a mate who truly loves sex, can last many times longer than the more typical problem had by someone who ejaculates prematurely. It is in fact a control reflex of someone who chooses, or learns, to string so-called "little orgasms" together without ejaculating. Of course, if "cumming" is the be-all and end-all, as it is for many men, then it's can be a problem ... still not sure it ranks up there with lung cancer, but I would sympathize.

Now, if it's all the same to the rest of you folk, I'd rather this return to the fun-loving thread and celebration of our manic peni that this started as and not have to worry about whether someone's sexuality is threatened or not.

Sheesh.

Time out. Everyone have a banana.
ST

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Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Oh and thanks for joining the fast growing talk-out-of-your-ass-to-Stuponfucious-and-pretend-he's-a-moron-just-because-he's-from-the-GB-and-we're-a-bunch-of-arrogant-snobs-who-like-to-speak-before-thinking-rather-than-the-other-way-around-so-we-look-like-total-jackasses-to-him-since-he's-had-this-conversation-with-naughtygirl69s-before-(FYI-to-the-Neanderthal-back-there)-Club.

Stuponfucious said:

Google doesn't count as scientific research.

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No, but it can lead you to papers and articles by people who have done scientific research...

Maybe you can't, but that's not saying much judging from your protruding brow ridge.

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A nineteenth century superstition masquerading as science used as an insult, entirely off-topic, which segues nicely into...

I've been accused of trolling before, and most of the time it was closer to being true then now, especially since a few times I actually did follow someone around purely for the purpose of saying snarky things to them totally off-topic.

Which is the actual definition of trolling BTW.

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Thanks for proving my point.

Well, duh. WTF are you babbling about anyway?

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I was under the mistaken impression you had a modicum of intelligence and could deduce the precise meanings and points I presented. Sadly, this is not the case. You, in essence, if not in these exact words, indicated that you didn't want a response from the thread originator after posting an intentionally inflamatory remark. I explained that in a public discussion situation, this is not logical, and why.

Fact is, you posted an ignorant comment, got called on the carpet for it, and rather than being civil about it, proceeded to prove yourself even more of an "asshat", to quote the vernacular, than I had originally believed. Congratulations.

Stuponfucious said:

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Oh and thanks for joining the fast growing talk-out-of-your-ass-to-Stuponfucious-and-pretend-he's-a-moron-just-because-he's-from-the-GB-and-we're-a-bunch-of-arrogant-snobs-who-like-to-speak-before-thinking-rather-than-the-other-way-around-so-we-look-like-total-jackasses-to-him-since-he's-had-this-conversation-with-naughtygirl69s-before-(FYI-to-the-Neanderthal-back-there)-Club.

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we have?

LOL

Be nice.

By posting questions like 'arent they gay?' your kinda adding to the problem.
One day you will be with a man, who's penis doesnt do what it is required to do. and your partner of the time, will recieve responses like 'are you gay?' poor sod. I pity him.

There will be times in your life, when you cant cum despite everything being stimulated to purrrrfection. How would you feel if the guy asked you, "are you a lesbian?"

I have been in two long term relationships with males. Im female. Both relationships had times, when the cock wouldnt stand up. It presses many buttons in both partners when it happens. How sensitive and supportive the partners are of each other is likely to help things along.

Just to add the health thing. On one such occasion, my husband turned out to have very high blood pressure. It was a side effect of that. So best to get odd things checked out. Sometimes, a medical explanation is relevant.

Good thread.

And THANKYOU for the idea of offering a silver plate for my Sir to come on. I like that idea! A lot!

pandoravampire

SpectreT said:

The ol' penile barometer isn't just a measure of sexual desire or interest - it can be a silent leading indicator of other physical, mental, or emotional issues.

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Succinctly put, and right on the money.

pandoravampire said:

Good thread.

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Yes - and an important one, too.

My respect to those who have contributed here in a positive way.

Alice

SpectreT said:

No, but it can lead you to papers and articles by people who have done scientific research...



A nineteenth century superstition masquerading as science used as an insult, entirely off-topic, which segues nicely into...

Thanks for proving my point.



I was under the mistaken impression you had a modicum of intelligence and could deduce the precise meanings and points I presented. Sadly, this is not the case. You, in essence, if not in these exact words, indicated that you didn't want a response from the thread originator after posting an intentionally inflamatory remark. I explained that in a public discussion situation, this is not logical, and why.

Fact is, you posted an ignorant comment, got called on the carpet for it, and rather than being civil about it, proceeded to prove yourself even more of an "asshat", to quote the vernacular, than I had originally believed. Congratulations.

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No it won't, no it isn't, no I didn't, no I didn't, no I wasn't, and no I didn't.

The reason you have been talking out of your ass is I said nothing about expecting the OP not to answer me. I simply said that I was expecting an answer from the person I quoted.

ignor button is such a wonderful thing

the captians wench said:

ignor button is such a wonderful thing

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Especially when you add the E to spell it right

the captians wench said:

ignor button is such a wonderful thing

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Thanks; I quite forgot that little feature.

And this question I posted went by unremarked on. Figured I'd throw it out there again:

I'd just signed off when a stray thought hit me, in the room where most of us guys do our best thinking.

Is it possible we're sending our penii (pretty sure the Latin pluralization is correct here) a subconscious message?

During the foreplay, for example, are we subconsciously telling our penis "Nope, not time to pay attention to you yet; you only need a few minutes; besides, I'm playing with something else now." ?

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leeroy jenkins said:

Especially when you add the E to spell it right

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Cheeky bitch.

SpectreT said:

Thanks; I quite forgot that little feature.

And this question I posted went by unremarked on. Figured I'd throw it out there again:

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you're welcome.

And as to your question, I do find it quite interesting, and did when you first posted it. I just don't really have anything to add to it at this time.

the captians wench said:

Cheeky bitch.

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Its Cheap Bastard to you wench!!

leeroy jenkins said:

Its Cheap Bastard to you wench!!

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Oh bite me!









here

and here



and here

the captians wench said:

Oh bite me!









here

and here



and here

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Thou shall be bit on the brests, nipples, and labia.

SpectreT said:

Thanks; I quite forgot that little feature.

And this question I posted went by unremarked on. Figured I'd throw it out there again:

During the foreplay, for example, are we subconsciously telling our penis "Nope, not time to pay attention to you yet; you only need a few minutes; besides, I'm playing with something else now." ?

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I absolutely believe that plays a part. I have been with play partners and for what ever reason, if I subconsciously was feeling that this would not be a time my sexual needs would be met, my cock was not hard. This can happen at times when I am in a room full of naked people at a BDSM play party. It can also happen at a time I'm alone with a partner who is not returning sexual attention - only taking sexual attention. At times it is fine when that happens, at other times it is disappointing.

As I mentioned in my opening post, I developed, what was for me and my partner, a problem with premature ejaculation. It was during a time of incredible stress and I will not go into the reasons any deeper unless asked.

I found an area of ancient Chinese medicine that dealt with the Tao and masculine sexual energy. There was a section that dealt with ejaculation control and I learned several of the exercises. The one that finely worked for me involves control of muscles we usually cannot relate to. The exercise was to stand naked in front of a mirror and raise and lower my testicles without flexing anything else, no butt clutching - very much like Kegel exercises. It took some time but eventually I got it. Once I learned how to do it I flexed that set of muscles often throughout the day to build up strength.

With my partners support and understanding we once again started to attempt to have intercourse. As soon as I slid in I could feel myself about to cum right away. This time I asked my partner to just lay still, I also did not move and uses the newly discovered muscles to draw up my balls. It seemed like it took forever, but in truth it was only a few moments before the urge to cum passed. Once that moment was over we continued our love making, and everything work as it had for years - just fine thank you very much. Over time the urge to cum at entry passed and has not been a problem for over 12 years.

Anyone else have any stories they are willing to share?

Some mentioned this, but I tend to avoid quick sex when he's very tired. Why? Because though he could go on all night, he sometimes can't come. That makes me feel NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

OTOH, if we have time for a scene or I want to fuck all night, it can work nicely. In the context of a scene I can work him up so that he does come. That's important to me.

With careful time management, and certain techniques, I can usually get what I want regardless of what that is. If only I have the luxury of time. Sadly, too often I don't have such a luxury.

Fury

SpectreT said:

During the foreplay, for example, are we subconsciously telling our penis "Nope, not time to pay attention to you yet; you only need a few minutes; besides, I'm playing with something else now." ?

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It depends on the foreplay. I'm not sure what your kink orientation is (sub male here) but I have noticed that when I'm in a D/s situation, the wood frequently stays down until the D has decided what they want to do with it. In more vanilla situations, it comes and goes. I actually sort of prefer it that way, because well, when I'm wanting to concentrate on the person I'm with, it can get in the way. You get all impatient and racing towards the finish line.

Re guys not getting turned on by porn. It depends on the porn. Some of that crap is just so stupid. Male or female porn. Or maybe I'm just picky. But we can get turned on by the silliest things. Remember when Xander said "I'm a 17 year old boy: linoleum make me horny!"? We don't always grow out of it. I mean, I have a little more control now than I did, but dayum... Like the other day, I was in freakin' church, and this woman sitting near me smelled like sunshine and cocoa butter sunscreen. Last time I smelled that was watching the Rugby Girls play rugby in the park last week, and well, since the Rugby Girls are quite frequently on my mind, the response was immediate and highly inappropriate to the location!

bronntanas said:

It depends on the foreplay. I'm not sure what your kink orientation is (sub male here) but I have noticed that when I'm in a D/s situation, the wood frequently stays down until the D has decided what they want to do with it. In more vanilla situations, it comes and goes. I actually sort of prefer it that way, because well, when I'm wanting to concentrate on the person I'm with, it can get in the way. You get all impatient and racing towards the finish line.

Re guys not getting turned on by porn. It depends on the porn. Some of that crap is just so stupid. Male or female porn. Or maybe I'm just picky. But we can get turned on by the silliest things. Remember when Xander said "I'm a 17 year old boy: linoleum make me horny!"? We don't always grow out of it. I mean, I have a little more control now than I did, but dayum... Like the other day, I was in freakin' church, and this woman sitting near me smelled like sunshine and cocoa butter sunscreen. Last time I smelled that was watching the Rugby Girls play rugby in the park last week, and well, since the Rugby Girls are quite frequently on my mind, the response was immediate and highly inappropriate to the location!

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On the foreplay, and orientation, and all that:
Closest applicable labels (see the thread on labels; you'll see me get wound up about it there) are Bi and Switch. My switchyness is more like a subconscious response to the people I'm with, Dominant when they're submissive and vice-versa. Bi might be a stretch, since I don't have a lot of experience with men, but I know they don't turn me off.

By foreplay, I meant any foreplay; kinked or vanilla, (rope bondage and spanking are my big kinks, followed by crossdressing, which I haven't done in quite some time.) I haven't had any training in my kink that involved whether or not I should be erect, so it's not a training holdover. Like I said, I think it's just a matter of "not yet", as in if it's not being directly stimulated, it'll go down again after a little while.

As to the porn thing - I can tell you one huge turn-off in some porn lately. Spitting all over the dick. It's just so stupid, and patently unsexy, I really can't take it.

And on the last point, nothing odd about getting turned on by rugby girls at all!

mine doesnt allways work!

myself this candycane the ladies enjoyis dryer as hnell. because its not seen a love hole for some time!!!but if a ladie would like to go for a run of fun with me lets go baby. ill touch the deepest parts of you, P.S. you ladies nknow exactly the felling with eight inches.