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ARCHIVAL DISCUSSION to 11-14-08

KillerMuffin

KillerMuffin

Seraphically Disinclined
Joined
Jul 29, 2000
Posts
25,603
{Note from the present moderator, pure, 2-2005
WHAT IS THIS THREAD
This thread will serve as a queue and a place to conduct the business of the Story Discussion Circle. It contains pages from two to end [now 2-05] of the parent thread. I am archiving the first pages in a separate thread labeled as such, 'sticky' three.

For a description of how the Story Disc. Circle is presently run, winter, 2004-5, see the second, 'sticky' thread, "What's going on at the Story Disc. Circle? Information...."


Originally posted by the_bragis

I?ve branch off from the weird but not so wonderful stuff I usually write. My latest effort is in the Loving Wives category. It?s called John and Katie ? Birthday Surprise.

I?m particularly interested in feedback regarding the following:

If you weren?t reading it to give feedback, would you have read it to the end?

I didn?t include a whole lot of physical detail. Originally John, the male character, had a beard and hairy chest. I love big hairy men, but then not all women do. The female character was blonde with green eyes and gorgeous big tits, because I?m two out of three of those. But then I decided I wanted to leave a little of that blank for the reader to fill in. Did this work?

Did you find the sex scenes easy to follow? Three isn't always easy you know?

Sure this isn?t the kind of thing that might happen often, if at all, but did it still feel ?real? in your mind? Did the dialog and actions feel natural?

When you had finished reading it, did you have a smile on your face?

Finally, I had the final edit on this story, so please any little ?o?s you may find are mine, not Bridget?s.

John and Katie - Birthday Surprise

Thank you, :)

Alex(fem).
 
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I think that since KM says she's tied up in exams and other personal issues for the time being it's appropriate to go ahead on our own, and 'make do,' and pick up on her expertise and guidance as soon as it's again available.

So without intending to look presumptuous, I'm starting a thread to discuss Karen AM's story, and then others-- grass roots style-- until our able leader is able to move past the urgent demands she faces.

I hope this is satisfactory to all; it is my idea, not Karen's.

J.

'pure'
 
Pure said:
I think that since KM says she's tied up in exams and other personal issues for the time being it's appropriate to go ahead on our own, and 'make do,' and pick up on her expertise and guidance as soon as it's again available.

So without intending to look presumptuous, I'm starting a thread to discuss Karen AM's story, and then others-- grass roots style-- until our able leader is able to move past the urgent demands she faces.

I hope this is satisfactory to all; it is my idea, not Karen's.

J.

'pure'
Click to expand...
Go for it, big guy. Just be sure to leave a notice at the AH. I've gotten out of the habit of checking in here every day.

RF
 
While KM tied up.

To proceed past Karen, we need a kind of queue. Let it be here.

Looking only back as far as Mar 1: So far 'slicknhb' and possibly amicus are possibilities. Would you confirm.

Older volunteers, please confirm your existence.

We will try for one story per week.

I seem to remember a note from boxlicker somewhere but can't find it.

So the queue (tentative) is possibly slick, box, and amicus.

Remember the critiques are essentially done on a 'swap' basis. To get you have to give. To get help and disappear is not OK.

There has been a rule of 'give two critiques before offering a story yourself' and let's keep to the spirit of it.

Also, those who've had critiques are to be given less priority than those whose material hasn't appeared before.


Please post your ideas here. we need some cooperation, and dr m, rumple and I have been trying to stir the coals and get something happening while KM is tied up. Thanks to both of them.

J.
 
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Slick, pleasse confirm your existence and interest in being reviewed. :)

Please supply title and url. We are not quite, but almost ready to go.

Thanks for dropping by.

I have started a queue, here, in the first thread of Story Disc Circle. Please post here.

J.
 
Pure said:
Slick, pleasse confirm your existence and interest in being reviewed. :)

Please supply title and url. We are not quite, but almost ready to go.

J.
Click to expand...

I exist and am intrested in being reviewed. :)

The link to the story is http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=129625

Title: Breast Pump Blues
Genre: Lesbian
Brief discription: She falls for lonely lactating woman next door.

I know this story is a bit unusuall even by literotica standards :D Probably my second story is more deserving to be critiqued but since I have had several requests for a second chapter the advice, criticism and comments might help me when I do make a sequal.
 
I also exist and am ready to be reviewed (sum ergo confero).

However, my story is not posted. It is in a middle-late stage of development where the plot is still malleable. Tell me when It's my turn and I will post the text as a separate thread.

Thanks for re-starting this Pure!
 
Hi Angela,

I'd ask that we deal with 'breast pump blues' first, since slick (at least) was ahead of you. OK?

Pure.
 
"Breast pump blues" is now up in its own thread, since slick in next in the queue.

We will aim for one story per week.

J.
 
{Added: Lucky's story will go 'up' on April 19th monday, since Angela has contacted me and posted her story.

Please see Angela's thread, up, as of tonight, 4-14}


Let us proceed with Lucky E-levens story,

Something about You

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=126480

Go to the thread I've set up, to leave your comments.

Next is Angela if she turns up, then Wyld.

J.

=====


Old Note to Angela:[not in effect]

I'm proceeding to post another story, and putting yours forward to next week (if you turn up), since you don't seem to be around this Circle forum. (And your PM box is full).

I hope you're sticking around, and havn't been put off by the slight chaos around here.

If you're tied up, or whatever, let us know when you're back 'in'

Best,
J.
 
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For the week of 4-13, see Angela's thread and story.

(Lucky E-leven is postponed till the April 19th).

Regards to all who are hanging around and contributing.

J.
 
What is a discussion 'from grassroots'?

I still find it scary to critique someone's story, but I do want to get advice on my own stories, so I guess I'll have to give it a try.

Leaving comments and individual opinions is not really working in getting something back. :D
 
Discussion from Grassroots is simply to indicate that three us, in absence of an official moderator --KM is tied up--are trying to keep the circle going. (Pure, Rumple, dr m.)

Angela's story is 'up' till tonite.
Lucky's is up tomorrow.

Perhaps leave some constructive critique for them. Enter your name here, in the sticky that says 'discussion' and something of your can be dealt with soon.

This place operates on a 'swap' basis, so the idea is to give, besides getting.

Best,

J.
 
Well, taking a deep breath, holding my nose and jumping in.

I realise I have to earn my turn. There's no hurry as far as I am concerned. :D

The story I would like to be taken apart was written in reply to a challenge and is called A Memorable Lesson.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=135485
See The Challenge Club in the AH if you want to know more.

I found it 'challenging' to write about more than two people. Is that the problem here? Too much or not enough attention to the different characters/spectators?

I'm interested to hear how I can improve my writing, just don't kill me completely.

:)
 
OK, Lucky is officially 'up'. WyldCard and/or Tiger may be next is I hear from either, then Black Tulip.

Welcome, Black T.

J.
 
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Review please!

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, since I'm totally new to discussion boards and what-have-you, but I too exist and am interested in being reviewed. :D

Here is a link. Confessions of a Male Slut

Genre: First Time
This will eventually evolve into a story with several parts, as I don't really have the attention span to write a long story all at once. haha!

I will appreciate any reviews, comments, etc, on this one, as it seems to be one of my less-popular submissions and I can't quite figure out why.
 
For the record, I resent the "virgin" title under my handle over there. Hahaha! :p
 
Hi Sunnie,

Welcome. There's a kind of queue, so your story will be reviewed in turn. One goes up each week, so you'd be due in a couple weeks. Please don't start a thread till then; that's when 'your' thread will be set up.

It is, by the way, a 'swap' situation, in that you're expected to give comments on at least a couple occasions(stories), along with what you receive. OK? Lucky's story is up now, for comment.

Best,
J.
 
Pure said:
Hi Sunnie,

Welcome. There's a kind of queue, so your story will be reviewed in turn. One goes up each week, so you'd be due in a couple weeks. Please don't start a thread till then; that's when 'your' thread will be set up.

It is, by the way, a 'swap' situation, in that you're expected to give comments on at least a couple occasions(stories), along with what you receive. OK? Lucky's story is up now, for comment.

Best,
J.
Click to expand...

Okay, got it. :) No problem at all. Thanks Pure!

*~*Sunnie*~*
 
Friends,
As of now 4-26 Mon, Black Tulip is 'up'. See the thread.

Regards,
pure
 
Pure,

If it's acceptable to thee and the SDC in-crowd (in what, I won't say) I'd like to have the first 2000 words or so of my unposted Lit WIP (LIT WIP sounds kinda kinky) given a good going over.

The working title is Jackson Junction and it's supposed to end up being a novella length stroke story. However, while the story opens with the immortal line, "Horny and half-naked...," there's no real stroking for the initial 1500 words of the 3400 word first chapter. It follows then, as night doth the day, that I'm worried some readers might consider the opening a tad slow.

Since it's not posted, I'll have to do a cut and paste like we used to do on the Workshop thread. But there's no rush on this. I've finished two chapters and have at least eight to go. So if some eager, young writer comes in anxious to have the SDC look at their posted story, I can gallantly step aside. I'd never actually be gallant, of course. But I would give way and might even try to keep my bitching and bellyaching to a gentle uproar.

Rumple Foreskin :cool:
 
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I think the excerpts you want looked at should be posted next Sun, Rumple, in its own thread.

Of course we do have Sunnie and maybe 7-in ., if you want a delay.

One posting can be quite long, according to my tests. so 3-4000 words is easily do-able.


J.
 
FAQ
(but if you're reading this you're on track!)

Is there a moderator? Where is Killer Muffin?

There is a moderator, Killer Muffin, but she is quite busy with other demands of life. So three of us -- with no moderator powers or status-- me, rumple, and dr. m, are trying to keep the coals alive.

I, pure, am doing some scheduling and informing; all are helping with their professional level critiques and comments.

OK how exactly is this [Circle] working or attempting to work?

A queue is formed in the 'discussion' sticky thread (one of the top two, this Circle), and one story is discussed each week, in its own thread.

What sticky?

In the Circle, the topmost threads (two), with the word 'sticky', and the yellow triangle, contain directions as to how this area is run. The thread labelled 'discusion' is being used for a queue.

Where do we find the story of topic?

A new thread, labeled "Grassroots Discusion: Joe Blow" will go up each week. Since older discussions trail off, the most current thread will be fairly close to the top, or in the upper half of the first page. See the date of starting.

Then where do we reply to it?

You reply in the thread set up for the story (i.e., containing the url or actual text).

Why is this so complicated

It's the nature of life.

-----

Welcome to all the creative, the perplexed, and the creatively perplexed.

J.
 
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