Deep Tissue, Happy Endings 2, Sara (closed for Sidney_1 & StFornicate)

*Character description*

Sara Smith

22 years old; 5ft 5; average, toned shape; B cup, perky breasts; naturally red, longish, straight hair; green eyes; light complection, but not too pale; wears glasses; only child; full time college student far from home; senior year, working on BS degree in music; quiet and shy

Story begins....

Sara sighed heavily as she placed her flute back in its velvet lined case. She had just finished practicing her recitation for the third time that morning, taking advantage of her alone time. Her college apartment roommates, Amber and Nicole had left together at 7:30 for morning classes. Sara didn't have classes on Fridays this semester. She looked at the clock, 9:22, and sighed heavily again.

'Uuggh," she said outloud to herself, before continuing in her head.

'So not looking forward to this appointment.' She thought, referring to the referral appointment that Dr. Davidson had scheduled for her with Sydney Peters later that afternoon.

'How the heck is massage going to fix my issues?"

Her frustration was at its peak. Playing her flute, which was usually calmed her nerves wasn't even doing the trick this time. Sara's brow wrinkled as negative thoughts continued to flood her brain.

'I should just say to hell with it all. I know I'm destined to become an old maid with 15 cats.'

Sara had been seeing Dr. Leonard Davidson for the last 6 months.

After four failed attempts at intimate relationships over the last 2 years, she was fed up with herself; frustrated that she couldn't let go and relax enough to get close to anyone, or let anyone get close to her. She had guys that were interested in her. But even the most patient of them wouldn't wait around forever. She'd start dating a new guy and things would be going fine, then the moment that the relationship started becoming intimate she would freeze and just shut down. Eventually the young man would become frustrated, angry or just be scared off. The most patient of them lasted 7 months.

Sara would be unable to sleep some nights as Amber or Nicole would be in their room with their boyfriend. Laying in her own bed, she'd strain to listen, wondering, yearning. Trying to imagine it was herself, her fingers would make their way to her own sex, but it would lead nowhere, except to more frustration and depression. She finally worked up the nerve to address the issue at her last gynecology appointment. And when her doctor couldn't find anything physically wrong with her, she was referred to Dr. Davidson for psychological councilling.

Dr. Davidson was very nice. Gentle spoken and sincerely wanting to help Sara get past her problems with intimacy. He would have a new stack of books out on his desk with new questions and excersizes for Sara to try every week when she'd come in to see him, all to no avail. When Sara broke down in tears at her last appointment, he came around his desk to her. Kneeling down beside her chair, he placed his hands around hers which were wringing in her lap, and he looked softly into her eyes.

"I'm not going to give up on you, Sara." He had said kindly.

"I have one more idea. This may sound strange to you at this moment, but I'd like you to see a friend and colleague of mine. Her name is Sidney Peters and she is a masseuse. Hear me out now. I know you're feeling very frustrated and this may not make a lot of sense to you, but Sydney has a very in-depth education and training in issues of intamacy. Her work is not mainstream or very popular, but I feel it may be just the right fit for your therapy needs. I'm going to call her today and see if she can work you in tomorrow. Will you trust me and try this Sara?"

Sara had nodded yes as another tear streamed down her face. Did she have a choice? Try this or give up.

Sara attempted to get some studying done and then went for a run though the local park. Upon returning to her apartment, she grabbed some lunch and figured she better shower and head to her appointment.

It was quarter to 1:00 when Sara arrived at the address Dr. Davidson had written down for her. Sighing for about the tenth time that day, she turned off her car and headed inside. Stepping quietly into the lobby area, Sara sat down on edge the sofa, and straightened her long floral skirt. Feeling fidgety she looked at her toes in her sandles and then checked that her white tank was properly covering her breasts. Her knees nervously began bouncing up and down and with trembling hands she picked a little at the peeling polish on her finger nails. She sighed again, glancing around the room and then began looking at photos on her cell phone. Spotting the selfie she had taken in her apartment just before she left, she rolled her eyes.

'Yuck', she thought, before hitting delete.

Sidney Peters

Sidney was finishing brushing her teeth and reapplying her lipstick in her private suite when she heard the soft alert that her new client had arrived.

She almost never said ‘no’ to Leonard. He was one of the humblest, kindest, and most openhearted men that she knew. They had a long history together, and although their professional methods diverged, they both had the common goal of helping clients live full, peaceful, healthy lives. But, he said he was at a “stuck” point and was concerned that Sara was heading into a major depression. Both her medical and OB-Gyn physicians had referred Sara to Leonard, originally. Leonard briefly reviewed Sara's history with her.

Sidney immediately said ‘Yes’ to Leonard and she rescheduled her 2:00pm client to allow two hours for Sara Smith. Her heart went out to the girl. She could hear the concern in Leonard’s voice and she knew she had to say ‘Yes’. Sidney also had a strong sense that she could help Sara to see things differently and have a different life experience.

Sidney had worn a sleeveless, lavender linen wrap dress with navy heels and a thin, gold diamond pendant at the nape of her neck. Her long, thick, brown wavy hair was loose and she pushed it behind her as she walked out to greet her client in the lobby.

She knew she should hire a receptionist, but she hadn’t had the time or energy to give thought to who the perfect candidate would be.

Sidney smiled at the sight of Sara, extending her hand as Sara rose to meet her. A beautiful, red-haired young woman. Very serious, intense energy.

“Hi, I’m Sidney Peters. But, please just call me Sidney. It’s nice to meet you.”

Sidney could see the girl was nearly shaking with fear.

“Please sit down, we’re just going to talk for a bit, so I can understand how I can help you, help ease your nerves, and you can ask any questions that you may have of me. I’m not sure what Dr. Davidson has told you about me, but while we have the same goals, we have slightly different methods of getting there.

Would you care for some hot tea or a glass of water? In the future, just help yourself to any beverages in the lounge if you are early for your appointment.”

Sidney placed a green tea in her white mug and waited for Sara’s reply. Even though she would have known everything that Sara would reveal via talking for 30 minutes after 3 minutes on her table, and with a clearer Truth, she knew Sara was not ready for any form of massage or energy work. She could see the sharp needles of fear around her aura. She did not feel safe or trusting of Sidney yet.

“Oh, and if you’d kindly switch your electronics to ‘do not disturb’ that would be helpful. I’d like us both to stay very present with each other,” Sidney smiled, hoping she was exuding a sense of safety and warmth.

Sara jumped up when the door in the lobby opened. She had been a bundle of nerves all morning in anticipation of her massage appointment.

Sidney had approached her very confidently with her hand out to greet her.

"Hi, I'm Sara." Sara replied timidly as Sidney took her hand in both of her own hands, holding it kindly for a few seconds as she explained how her and Dr. Davidson had spoken, and how they both had the same goals with their methods of therapy. Sidney's hands felt warm and settling around her own trembling hand, calming her nerves slightly. That is until Sidney mentioned that she wanted to talk first.....and then let go of her hand asking her to sit down and mute her phone.


"Ohh! Yes, I'm sorry!" Sara fumbled with again trembling hands to put her phone on mute before sitting back down on the edge of the sofa, and continuing with her answer.

"Yes please, I'll take some water."

While waiting for Sidney to fix her tea and fetch her water, Sara noticed the beautiful dress and shoes that Sidney was wearing. She admired her lustrous, wavy hair and how perfectly tailored her dress appeared; accenting her hips so beautifully, its' hem falling just above the curve of her taned and toned calves. Then she studied Sidney's shoes. She imagined for a moment how much they must have cost. Suddenly, Sara felt self concious in her own frumpy outfit. Looking down at herself, she adjusted her shirt and pulled her worn sandles out of sight underneath the hem of her own long skirt.

Sidney turned around after another moment, returning with a bottle of spring water and her cup of tea. She handed the bottle of water to Sara and then sat down on the edge of the sofa, her body angled toward Sara before lowering her teacup into her lap.

"Um, Dr. Davidson said that you help people with intimacy problems. I'm really not sure what questions to ask. I don't know what to do actually. I feel like giving up."

Sara blinked quickly, trying to fight back the tears that she could feel welling up in her eyes. She adjusted her glasses. Then her knee involuntarily started bouncing. She sighed and tried to continue.

"I guess I really don't understand how massage is supposed to help me to get over this. I don't even know how to let someone touch me, let alone Touch anyone else intimately."

Sara could feel a knot in her throat. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath in attempt to regain her composure. Then she glanced up quickly at Sidney before lowering her eyes to her lap again.

Sidney gave Sara a few moments to collect herself as she knew Sara wouldn’t be able to process anything that she said. . . and her difficult admission, her frustration… needed to just sit in the ethers for a few moments and diffuse.

“Well, I have excellent news for you, Sara. I want you to give up. When you’re doing something and it’s not working, and there is no positive momentum in the direction that you’re seeking, then it is a sign that that is not the way. If you ‘give up’ and surrender, you no longer become a person with intimacy problems that aren’t resolved. You just carry on and learn to accept yourself and love yourself anyway. And that’s really the only lesson here.

Surrender, and love yourself exactly as you are, right now, at 1:07pm. When you surrender, you start becoming receptive, and then you get curious, and then you will gain new insights. When you are resistant – and I mean resistant to accepting yourself as a person with intimacy issues- and hating on her- well, it’s challenging to let any light into the situation. You will remain stuck in frustration energy. I hope this is making some sense, but even if it isn’t, please just know that you’ve already taken the first step. . . which is to surrender. ”

Sidney paused and passed Sara a box of tissues in case she felt like surrendering some tears and emotions.

“The second step is to start forming an intimate, loving relationship with yourself. I can give you some tools and suggestions to help you on your journey. Both Dr. Davidson and I can help you, and there is one book that I’d like you to focus on with him and that is called The Work. It would be immediately helpful if you stopped identifying with your thoughts. At this point, your thoughts are telling you a lot of negative stories and it’s feeding on your psyche like a parasite. Your nervous system has gone haywire. If we don’t get it dialed down soon, then you will need a psychiatrist and medication, and I know you don’t want to go that route. And I don’t mean to scare you, but I think this is information that you need to know and consider.

But, you’re not in this alone. I am not just a masseuse; I have a masters degree in psychology. But, I also have some skills that I developed from studying with healers in remote areas. That’s how I met Dr. Davidson, actually. I treat each client in a unique fashion with different modalities - primarily various massage techniques and reiki. But, as you can see, I incorporate talk therapy and experiential therapy- role play, guided imagery, the use of props—there are so many ways that people can heal. It’s my job to help you know that you’re on your path. You were never off your path. For whatever reason, you had very good reasons to have intimacy barriers and both Dr. Davidson and I will help you to integrate your past with your present.”

Sidney saw no point in telling her, or anyone for that matter, that she had a well-developed sense of insight and intuition and that is what guided her practices.

Sidney drank down the last of her tea and placed the cup on the table.

“Massage is helpful in many ways, depending on the technique that I use. In your case, a gentle massage would relax your nervous system; it would quiet the monkey mind that we all have. But, there is also an option for a deeply relaxed state which is also restorative to the spirit. I’m going to encourage Dr. Davidson to work with you on this, too. Eventually, we would explore sensual massage techniques. Through exploration in various ways, you will develop an intimacy with your body and your own desires. But that comes with trust and allowing me to have an intimate relationship with you. We’re not there, yet. And lastly, we can explore how you can learn to become more intimate with others outside of the therapy office.

So—I don’t know how you’re feeling, but I get the sense that you are not ready for touch/massage therapy, but we do need to dial down your nervous system and also continue to discuss a few things. My suggestion is that we both change into terry cloth robes and continue this discussion in the whirlpool that I have in one of my therapy rooms. It’s one of my favorite places to unwind at the end of a day. It’s filled with plants, aromatherapy, and soft music. . . and the warm water will soothe you. We will both be nude, but there will be plenty of bubbling water if you feel modest. The path to healing is not always linear and traditional. So, I’m inviting you on this amazing journey of discovery of Sara Smith and all her intimacy potential. Would you be open to a whirlpool session with me? I think it would be very therapeutic for you and you will be amazed at how well you sleep tonight.”

Sidney gazed into Sara’s fearful, green eyes with a soft smile of encouragement. Her feet had eased out from behind her skirt and gave away her indecisiveness.

“I know this was a lot to hear. If you like, we can take twenty minutes to have some quiet, meditative time, either individually or with me. . . in the whirlpool. But, I think it is imperative that we get you out of your head and into a pleasurable state. Feeling connected to your body plays a huge role in becoming intimate with oneself.”

“Well, I have excellent news for you, Sara. I want you to give up. When you’re doing something and it’s not working, and there is no positive momentum in the direction that you’re seeking, then it is a sign that that is not the way. If you ‘give up’ and surrender, you no longer become a person with intimacy problems that aren’t resolved."

Sara felt a tear escape her eye and trail down her cheek from under her glasses. Sidney's words were resounding deep in her psyche. It was just what Sara needed at that moment, almost as if Sidney had crawled under her skin, to the very depth of her tortured, lonely soul and had seen Sara.....the way no one else could; raw, tortured and desperate for the mental stability that only healthy, human, physical connections could heal. Sidneys voice seemed to trail off in the distance as she continued speaking. Sara took a deep breath and exhaled as a feeling of comfort and security slowly washed over her. This was it....she was here to surrender and accept her situation for what it was instead of fighting it and hating herself.

But how? Sara's brow wrinkled again as she contemplated how Sidney would be able to help her.

"........amazing journey of discovery of Sara Smith and all her intimacy potential. Would you be open to a whirlpool session with me? I think it would be very therapeutic for you and you will be amazed at how well you sleep tonight.”

Sidney's voice trailed back into Sara's ears as she heard her name, bringing her back into attendance of the conversation.

"Yes, that would feel nice, I think." Sara tried to smile as she replied to Sidneys invitation to join her in the jacuzzi. lt gave her some added relief that she wouldn't immediately begin receiving a massage. But she also felt an opposing, negative feeling of self conciousness about the idea of being nude in the jacuzzi with Sidney, or anyone else for that matter.

"Ok, I guess I'm as ready as I can be." Sara smiled shyly and wiped her cheeks.

"Where do we change?"

Session 1-Sara Smith- jacuzzi therapy

Sidney made a mental note to have Leonard help Sara learn to pay attention to her language. She probably hadn’t made much progress with Leonard because she had such a fear of any change, even if it was positive.

“Wonderful,” Sidney said, rising, holding her hand out for Sara to hold.

“Just follow me, and I’ll show you the changing area and shower room if you need to take one either before or after your session. The client rooms are on the right side of the lobby, and the changing room and shower are in the last room on the right. You’ll find a variety of robes in different sizes. There are fresh clips if you’d like to clip your hair up. The hallway is shaped like a U. My personal area is on the left side of the massage room and lobby. The jacuzzi therapy room is the last room on that side. I’ll keep the door open, and you should be able to hear the music and bubbling water. If you make it there ahead of me, just feel free to slip in and just shut your eyes and relax. And please, as you undress, I want you to start having a positive dialogue with yourself. If you’re fearful or ashamed, acknowledge it and then say, ‘But, I’m taking a chance on new experiences because I want to grow as a person and as a woman. And if I do nothing, I remain stuck.’ Or, something like that, ok?”

Sara smiled and nodded.

Sidney went to the jacuzzi room and set the tub to bubble on moderate-high speeds. She decided on neutral, spa music with lots of flutes and a few nature sounds with birds. The room was on the outskirts of the building and received a lot of natural light, so Sidney kept if filled with tropical plants and a vase of flowers. She had adorned the wall with some black and white photography of tasteful nudes and nature scenes. Sidney turned the aromatherapy warmer on and infused it with a mild lavender oil. Sara was probably sensitive to all sensory stimuli and Sidney didn’t want to overwhelm her.

Sidney returned to her private office and slipped off her dress into a terry white robe. Once again, Sidney prayed that she’d be guided to say and do just the right things to help Sara develop and feel like the whole and beautiful person that she already was, but couldn’t recognize.

Sara took Sydneys' hand. It felt strong and commanding around hers, yet it was gentle and soothing; a strange but nice combination.

She led Sara down the U shaped halls from the lobby, pointing out all the different rooms.

At the end of the quick tour, Sara smiled and nodded.

"I took a shower right before I came, so I think I will just change quickly." Sara said as she let go of Sidney's hand, opening the door to the changing room.

The changing room was a comfortable space about 12x15ft. in diameter. It was painted in complimenting,* muted earthy tones. A burgundy and beige patterned area rug covered all but the outer 2 feet or so of the hardwood floors. There was a row of brass hooks high along one wall with a solid cherry bench placed under the hooks. The seat of the bench was upholstered with a striped fabric that matched the color of the walls. On the aposing side hung a large mirror that covered most of that wall. Kiddie corner on the mirrored wall was a beautiful chaise lounge which matched the bench. There was a small cherry table in another corner with a burgundy shaded lamp.

'What a beautiful room.' Sara thought as she kicked off her sandles in the corner.

She slowly began undressing; folding her clothes neatly and placing them on the bench.

'Uuggg' She frowned when she turned and spotted herself in the enormous mirror. She hated dressing room mirrors. They always seemed to reveal too much.* Sara sighed with her hands on her hips. She was still wearing her matching, white cotton, "every day" bra and panties. Her Gram was the very practical lady that had* raised her since she was 4, and would only buy for her, "practical" undergarments.* "Anything more was too prideful and lusty." Sara could still vividly remember the day in the mall when she was 15, and a couple of her classmates saw and overheard her Gram saying this to her as she placed the boring, packaged items on the check out counter. She never lived that one down in school. Now here she was 22, and still wearing them.

"Uuuhhhh," Sara sighed aloud this time. "I'm supposed to be nude to go in the jacuzzi?" She removed her bra and placed it under her shirt and skirt on the bench. Then she turned around again. Putting her hands on her hips she turned back and forth, examining her breasts in the mirror. She hated her breasts from the moment they started sprouting forth. They only grew to a perky, size B cup. That part she was thankful for. But she hated how her pinkish brown areola protruded out weirdly from her breast, and her largish, pink nipple from that. It just was weird; not like the other girls' breasts that she had seen in the locker room.

Sara pulled her panties down and slipped her feet out of them. She spotted the peeling polish on her toenails and sighed again, retrieving her panties and placing them with her bra. She then inspected the* pubic hair trimming job she had done in rush a few days before. She had never gotten up the nerve to shave it completely, but liked the cleaner feel of keeping it trimmed very close. She stood up straight. Looking in the mirror once again she was glad she Did have a little hair there today. Sara hated how her vagina looked. She was "cursed" (in her mind) with large outer labia, and inner labia that protruded just beyond. 'Gross', she thought as she turned and looked for a robe. She chose a longer, terrycloth robe that came to her knees and put on. Then she looked at her phone to check the time. Realizing how long she spent changing, she opened the door and sped out down the hall, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, securing her nude breasts beneath.

Sara stopped at the correct door and took a deep breath before entering. The room was so nice! Full of sunlight and green plants. She heard flute music playing behind the whir of the jacuzzi jets. Sidney was already in the tub with only her shoulders emerging from the bubbling water.

"There you are." She smiled at Sara.

"I, I'm sorry I took so long." Sara stood by the tub, contemplating how she was going to remove her robe and get in without exposing any more than she had to. She opened her robe, and covered her breasts with her forearm. Then she turned her body sideways to Sidney as she climbed the three steps and got in. It was really hot at first as she wasted no time sinking her body below the bubbles.

"It's really nice in here." She said as she looked about the room. The black and white, nude photos on the wall quickly caught her eye and she added, "Wow, I can't believe how people can do that!"

Session 1- Sara Smith- jacuzzi

Sidney had already done some neck stretches and positioned herself in front of a jet that was pulsating water between her shoulder blades. The addition of her personal sanctuary room with a Jacuzzi had been an afterthought. She had rented a large office space not knowing exactly how she’d use the space in the future. But, just as Manuel had instructed, she designed her own practice to reflect her own preferences and her native country’s culture.

Fortunately, San Francisco was near a lot of scenic areas. Her favorite was Point Lobos. Sidney often suggested that her clients attend these places and retreats on the weekends to connect themselves back to nature and unplug from their computerized lives.

But, she had found herself craving the wild, natural atmosphere of Costa Rica, so she and her brother helped recreate that mood in this room. It had turned out even better than she had envisioned. If her practice grew, and she found that more than the occasional client could benefit either from an initial Jacuzzi session or a soak to wind down beforehand. . . then she would add a second Jacuzzi to a separate client room.

“Yes, this is my sanctuary. It reminds me of Costa Rica where I felt I really came into my own. It’s a sensual, relaxing environment so I thought you’d feel comfortable in here. I’m glad you like it. I don’t share this space with everyone, but I felt guided to with you.”

Sidney glanced at some of the nudes that Sara was referencing. One was of a man holding an active yoga pose, the other was of a woman emerging from the sea, and the third was of a man and a woman in a loving pose, his arms wrapped around her breasts, their bodies intertwined.

“Oh yes, those were gifts from a client of mine that is a photographer. We did a bartering session, but he ended up giving me the third one of the couple as a gift. I love them all for different reasons.”

Sidney returned her gaze to Sara. It had been a good move to get her out of the lobby and into the water. Her face looked flushed but had a more relaxed, open, curious expression.

“So, you can’t believe how people could pose naked and have someone photograph them? I imagine they would have to feel very comfortable with their nudity and just see it as a financial commodity or a marketable asset. Some have artistic direction, I’m sure. It probably depends on the assignment. In your wildest dreams, can you imagine yourself being photographed nude one day? Would that interest you?”

Sidney arched her back and stretched her legs, letting the jets hit the soles of her feet. Her breasts bobbed up and down in the waves.

“Oh, and feel free to stretch and arrange yourself around the jets in any manner that feels most comfortable to you. I’m certainly going to do the same. It’s part of listening and honoring your body and its needs and desires. Think of this as warm-up practice. You’re doing beautifully, so far, Sara. There’s no rush; although I may give you encouragement, I’m going to honor you wherever you are emotionally, physically, and spiritually.”

Sara had been gazing at the photographs as Sidney spoke about them, but then her eyes darted back to Sidney when she caught her movement in her peripheral vision. She couldn't help but to glance at Sidney's breasts as they appeared momentarily from under the water. She was hoping that Sidney didn't notice. But in her brief glance, Sara made mental note that Sidney definitely had larger breasts than she did; that her nipples were so much prettier and more normal shaped than her own.

"Well, it's not that I think that those people are wrong for posing nude like that for a photograph. It's just that "I" couldn't imagine doing it myself." Sara laughed.

"I can't even bring myself to wear a two piece bathing suit! Dr. Davidson actually had suggested that I try it. I mean, for part of my therapy for self acceptance, he wanted me to go for a session with a Boudoir Photographer to have photos taken like this, but I just couldn't. The photographer was like this old guy, and I would have been so embarassed!"

Sara looked at the photos again and then back at Sidney who was now giggling herself.

"I know, I know, I'm so lame, aren't I?" Sara laughed heartily at her own self critisism.

"I think that's why he finally sent me to you. He probably figured that I'd have better luck with a woman."

The warm water was soothing, and helping to ease Sara's initial nerves a little. She was grateful that it was bubbling enough to camouflage her nudeness.

"Have you ever had photographs like this taken?" Sara inquired as she shifted over to a corner seat.

A strong jet began masaging her lower back. Two others, a little higher, but on the sides of the tub, began swirling soft jets of water at her sides. She noticed when she lifted her arms slightly, that the swirls of water brushed against the sides of her breasts, giving her a weird sensation. She quickly put her arms back down.

Session 1- Sara Smith- Jacuzzi therapy

Sidney caught the moment of delight in Sara’s eyes. The corner provided multiple angles of jetted water, and it was one of her favorite places to settle if she only had five minutes to relax.

“The corner is a nice spot, by the way. Don’t be afraid to experiment and see what feels sensuous to you,” Sidney said, sitting upright and maintaining eye contact with Sara.

“But, to answer and comment on your questions, well, first off, an older gentleman is likely the perfect photographer to help you role-play and project a confidence with your body and regain a sense of playfulness. The few photographers that I’ve met are charming, sweet, and wise. An experienced photographer has photographed a lot of men and women and probably has a lot of insights about people just by how they carry themselves. They are masterful at helping people to relax so that they can obtain interesting shots. You do have to let yourself trust the photographer and be vulnerable in front of him or her.

I know Dr. Davidson is very particular about what practitioners he would recommend to people, so if the idea appeals to you in the future, it might be worth giving it a second chance. Right now, perhaps it is best just to work with Dr. Davidson and I and focus your trust and ability to build intimacy with us. Neither of us wants you to feel frustrated with yourself. Everyone progresses at their own pace, and you’re only 22 years-old!”

Sidney moved to a corner, hugged herself tightly into a ball, and let her body rotate around the pressured jets, before letting her arms relax on the outer ridge of the jacuzzi.

“As for me, no, I’ve never been formally photographed by a boudoir photographer. It sounds like a blast though. I’d love to see what I would look like if there was an art director to direct the set design, costume, and hair and make-up artists. It would be fun to see a different version of myself in a different time period or through the lens of someone else in a modern setting. But, in my own personal and professional practice, I have a very comfortable and playful attitude or relaxed attitude about my clothing and body. So, I suppose I am already expressing my creativity in that regard.”

Sidney paused, wondering if she should share her wider practices with Sara. Sara appeared relaxed and genuinely interested, so she continued.

“My vulnerable area is probably film, but I do film some of my client sessions, with their consent, for their eyes only. I perform minimal editing, adjusting sound/lighting/close-ups. I allow film if a client is unable to afford a physical session, but would still benefit from spending an hour or two watching him/herself being balanced by me. As you can see, each session with a client is very personal and we work on different issues. Some sessions are educational, so those are particularly valuable to review another time. I have a viewing room on the client side where I schedule clients if they would like to review a filmed session. If there is a long span of time between appointments, a client will often choose to do that. I only allow a session to be reviewed a few times and it must be on my premises to ensure personal and client privacy.”

Sidney knew she didn’t have much longer before she would need to get out of the jacuzzi and hydrate. She moved to the center of the jacuzzi, squatting down so Sara couldn’t see her full body.

“Sara, if you feel comfortable, I’d like us to do at least one body awareness exercise in here. Just stretch your legs and then wrap them loosely around my waist. You’ll feel my hands on your back to help keep your torso afloat. You can keep yourself stabilized on the ridge or float into the center, but either way, I’d like you to open your arms. Water is very healing.

And then, I’d like you to tell me how you feel—and do not judge the feeling. We’re practicing body awareness and being present with how we feel, and ultimately how to move through those feelings instead of blocking them.”

Sidney smiled encouragingly and waited for Sara to take the next step to reach out to her.

"The corner is a nice spot, by the way. Don’t be afraid to experiment and see what feels sensuous to you,” Sidney said, sitting upright and maintaining eye contact with Sara.

Sara was suddenly made aware that Sidney was studying her; reading her body language, and easily spotting how she would involuntarilly gaurd herself.

Sara decided then, that she must make herself be...and remain aware; to push herself as best she could to break through the invisible walls that hindered her ability to allow intamacy into her life. She knew that it would get very uncomfortable, probably even painful at times. But also, in this new, present form of therapy with Sidney, she was slowly beginning to underatand that there was no other way to allow a healing to come to her.

In an attempt to push herself further, Sara tried to open up her body under the veil of the bubbling water. She released her knees and forced herself to place her arms along the top edge of the tub. The strange feeling soon came again. The one that she had quickly blocked a few minutes earlier. The swirling jets again began to blow soft swirls of bubbles against the sides of her breasts, causing them to jiggle back and forth slightly.

Sara was trying hard to stay with the conversation while also allowing these new, strange sensations to happen to her body. She was listening to Sidney talk about various styles of nude photography and her thoughts on the process. Not a lot of it was sinking into her brain. Her ears heard, but her brain had not yet registered the part about Sidney video recording some of their sessions. She was instead focusing harder on keeping her arms firmly planted on the edges of the tub, although unaware that she was keeping her thighs tightly closed. The swirling water traveling across the skin of her breasts and flowing over her sensitive areola was causing her nipples to feel tingly. As well, another, deeper, tingling sensation began to form in the core of her body, traveling strangely through her back and deep into her pelvis.

“Sara, if you feel comfortable, I’d like us to do at least one body awareness exercise in here. Just stretch your legs and then wrap them loosely around my waist. You’ll feel my hands on your back to help keep your torso afloat. You can keep yourself stabilized on the ridge or float into the center, but either way, I’d like you to open your arms. Water is very healing."

Sara felt the blood rush to her cheeks as the words of Sidney's request sank into her brain. Her cheeks were already flushed from the heat of the water, but Sara imagined them to appear red as a ripe tomato.

'Was she serious?' She thought, as her heart began to pound so hard she could feel it in her ears.

Her internal dialogue and struggle continued for another minute.

'She wants me to wrap my legs around her torso so that my crotch is like....right close to her? And float? Oh my god, my vagina will be so close to her body. I guess it will be underwater though. Uuughh, ok, ok, ok, I can do this. It's just an awareness exercise. Stop freaking out, Sara.'

"Um, uhh, okay, I guess we can try that." Sara finally replied to Sidney who was relaxed with her head back and eyes closed, still patiently awaiting her reply.

"How.....I mean, what should I do?" Sara asked, her hands trembling just a little. She took a deep breath in through her nose and exhaled slowly though her mouth to calm and center herself as she moved forward on her seat.

"I must push myself forward to heal." She whispered to herself in a brief pep talk.

Session 1- Sara Smith- jacuzzi

Sidney quickly realized that she shouldn’t have given Sara any choices. Choices meant thinking, which meant hesitation, which meant time for fear and monkey mind to hop on board.

“It’s very simple,” Sidney said, moving closer to Sara, and positioning her legs around her waist.

“We’re going to wrap your legs around my waist, and then I’d like you to let go of the ledge, or at least loosen your grip, and allow me to help you stay afloat. You can shut your eyes and focus on how wonderful the water feels as it bubbles over you, how nice it might be to trust another person, or if all you can do is feel overwhelmed with fear, then you need to tell me that, too. If that’s the case, then I think you need some private time in here. But, I want you to take a few minutes to just shut your eyes and enjoy what it feels like to be out of your mind and present in your body. Take a few quiet moments to just enjoy these luxurious sensations. And then, we can talk about it in a few minutes.”

Sidney could feel Sara trembling with fear, and knew she was probably pushing her a little too far, but she knew they had to get a significant forward momentum going or Sara would beat herself up later.

She’d probably be angry at Leonard, too.

Sidney took action as she spoke, not allowing Saras distorted thoughts any place in this moment. One may have that this was a harsh of Sidney, but this is what Sidney was trained to do; to know how to guide her clients into a better state of well being physically, mentally and emotionally. Sometimes that required gentle direction and occasionally some firm guidance. Sara had been stuck at go for a very long time, needing and requiring and the latter.

Within seconds, Sara felt her legs wrap around Sidney's naked torso, and Sidney's hands on her back, just above her hips. The water aided the position change with ease, adding buoyancy as well as preventing Sara from being able to keep herself planted on the seat. She continued to hold on lightly to the side of the tub, giving her a little security until she found her sense of balance and was able to let go, allowing the turbulent water and Sidney's arms to support her.

Sidney reminded Sara to simply float back, close her eyes, and take some slow breaths in order to center herself in this new position. After a few minutes, Sara's fear and trembling began dissipating into the warm water bubbling up and around the sides of her body. Focusing on, and drawing comfort from the familiar, flute music in the background, Sara realized that she recognized the piece, although it was mixed with soft nature sounds in this rendition. Combined with the warm, soothing feel of the bubbles coming up around the sides of her body, it was a perfect atmosphere to put her at ease. Even allowing her to give less thought* about herself being nude, Sidney being nude, and their bodies being so near each others.

When there was a pause in the music, Sara opened her eyes, tipping her chin down in an attempt to look at Sidney. The movement caused her to lose her sense of balance momentarily, and she again grabbed ahold of the edge of the tub with one hand, waving the other in the water to help herself stay afloat.

"This isn't as bad as I imagined it to be at first. It's probably a good thing that you didn't give me too long to think about it."
Sara started. "Thank you for playing flute music as well. It definitely helps to calm me. This is a great CD!"

She looked down her own torso. Her perky breasts were poking up out of the bubbles. The rest of her body disappeared beneath the surface. As she allowed herself to become aware again of her positioning, she realized that her thighs were wrapped around Sidney's body just below her larger breasts. And that Sidneys breasts were actually resting on right on her thighs. Sara's heart began to beat a little faster at the realization; suddenly feeling a little awkward. Yet oddly, at the same time, the position felt kind of good to her too.

She liked the way Sidney's breasts looked. Her nipples were so much more nicely shaped. And Sidney's gentle smile and soft eyes made Sara feel OK with what was happening. But then that weird sensation started coming back again. The strange tingle in her back and pelvis. It felt almost like she needed to pee or something.

"You have very pretty breasts. I so wish that my nipples looked like yours." Sara added.

She felt her own nipples tighten as the bumpy skin of her areoli began gathering. She thought it odd. It had only ever happened when she was cold, but she was actually very warm in Sidney's jacuzzi.

Session 1- Sara Smith- Jacuzzi therapy

“You’re doing great, Sara. I know it’s not easy to be naked and exposed with me. We’re going to discuss more of your insecurities and feelings in a few moments when we’re done in here. But, I want you to get back to that place where you were a few minutes ago – where you lost self-consciousness and just focused on your senses, not your thoughts. You may notice and feel new, pleasurable sensations. This is natural, and nothing to be afraid of or resist. I want to feel your body relax on my arms as if you were on a raft in gentle waters.”

Sidney gently rocked Sara’s body to and fro from her own body to aid her in relaxing. From what she could see, Sara had a beautiful body – light skin, toned legs, flat stomach, and breasts that seemed proportionate to her frame. Her green eyes and thick, bright red hair made her quietly striking.

As Sara began to relax, Sidney studied Sara’s breasts and nipples as the bubbles washed over them. They had an unusual, but beautiful, conical shape. The areolae and nipple were almost one puffy form. Sara’s nipples were becoming erect while Sidney sent some silent, loving energy to them.

Once her nipples were more erect, Sidney shifted position so the jets hit them at a different angle and a bit more intensely. She didn’t want to take her hands off Sara to adjust the jet speed.

“Okay, Sara, I’d like you to enjoy these new sensations for a few moments, and then when you feel ready, you can release your legs and just have a seat on the ledge for a moment before you step out so you don’t feel light-headed. You’re doing great, just a few more moments,” Sidney reiterated, softly.

"Okay, I'll try again." Sara agrees as she tilts her head back. This time she allows her ears and the back of her hair to submerse into the water. The loud sound of the roaring jets circulating the water helps to drown everything else out.

'10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1' Sara counts down slowly in her head. Then, using a step relaxation technique that Dr. Davidson had taught her, she starts with her brow and works her way slowly downward. She counts past her neck, shoulders, back, hips, thighs, calves and out her fingers and toes, allowing herself to go completely limp in Sidney's arms.

Sinking into Sidney, Sara can feel her buttocks come to a rest against Sidney's upper abdomen. She then realizes how much tension she had actually still been holding in her legs and neck trying to support herself on the first try.

She continues to focus on fully letting go and remaining limp. As well, Sara tries to make a conscious note of the all the new* sensations she is feeling.

The bubbles through the back of her hair; the water pushing out of the way as Sidney sways her body gently; her breasts rocking back and forth; the cool air on her exposed nipples and the skin tightening around them; Sidneys hands open and supporting her back; her bottom and labia being squished against Sidney and gently massaged back and forth; her calves and feet gently drawn back and forth in the drag of the water behind Sidney; the strange tingle building again, deep in her pelvis and then further down in her vagina.

Sara squeezes her vagina muscles. It feels good. The massaging feels good there. Sidney feels good, soothing and non threatening. She wonders what Sidney would think if she knew that it was feeling good on her vagina. Would she think she was a lesbian?

'I'm not a lesbian, I know that! I like guys! But this feels nice. So why am I liking how this feels with Sidney? Maybe its because she's my therapist, so its OK? Oh my god! This is wierd!'

"Umm, I think I did better that time. Did I? I tried hard to focus just on what I felt. I think it you make it easier and more comfortable. I've honestly not ever been so close with someone...ummm...I mean my body so close....to someone .....um, while naked." Sara quickly withdraws herself back to the seat as she rambles. She tries to unwind the coil of questioning thoughts that had suddenly flooded her mind.

"I think I need to use the bathroom. Maybe we should get out now?" Sara looks at Sidney for approval.

Session 1- Sara Smith

Sidney nodded in approval.

“Yes, by all means, use the bathroom. But, then I’d like you to meet me in my office, which is right next to your changing lounge so we can discuss your feelings and goals as we move forward. Let’s just remain in our robes, and feel free to grab a drink.”

Sidney waved Sara off with a smile. Indeed, she had been able to relax for a longer period of time and had seemed to enter the realm of physical sensation for a short period.

It was a micro-movement forward, but it was progress.

Sidney took two minutes to relax and meditate in solitude before drying off, slipping into her robe, and returning to the chaise in her office.

Sara quickly made her way to the restroom to relieve the uncomfortable pressure in her bladder before returning to the dressing room.

Upon entering, she squeezed water from the back of her red hair with a fresh towel and inspected her eyes in the mirror, noticing that they looked a little red from the bromine.

"I’d like you to meet me in my office, which is right next to your changing lounge so we can discuss your feelings and goals as we move forward. Let’s just remain in our robes, and feel free to grab a drink.”

'She wants us to remain in our robes? I wonder what she's planning next. And in her office? Not in the massage room?'

Sara's worried brain took off out of control again, as it had a bad habit of doing. She stopped, closed her eyes, and took a few extra moments to do some deep, abdominal breathing as Dr. Davidson had recommended for her to do when her brain started to take over.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Ok, that's better" Sara said to her reflection in the mirror.

She opened her robe and looked at her nude self. 'Maybe I should at least put my bra and underwear back on.' She thought as she looked herself up and down. Noticing that her labia appeared a bit puffy or swollen, she looked down and inspected it with her eyes and fingers.

'That's strange. Did that happen when it was rubbing against Sidney? Is that what that strange tingle was? I hope I'm not allergic to the bromine.' Her thoughts raced as she squeezed and pushed on the swollen flesh with her fingertips. 'It's tingly and sensitive, that's really wierd.'

She stood up straight again to view her labia in the standing position.

'Oh god, they're sticking out so bad! I will just keep my legs crossed. Hopefully she won't notice.'

It was but a brief moment before the view in the mirror became distorted, abnormal and ugly again, as her mind turned her reflection into a freak show image.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1" Sara slammed her eyelids closed and repeated her self-relaxation technique. Spinning around, she quickly headed out the door and to the lounge to grab a bottled water. Realizing how thirsty she actually was, she downed half the bottle in the lounge. As she walked the hallway back to Sidneys office, Sara was still very much aware of her puffed vaginal lips and the heightened level of sensitivity they had as she walked.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting this time. Thanks for the water."

Session 1- Sara Smith

Sidney gestured to the chaise lounge that was facing her.

“You’re welcome. It’s good to flush your body. And no, you didn’t keep me waiting – this is about your time and needs. So, please have a seat and feel free to lounge on the chaise while we talk. I asked you to remain in your robe, so that you can start feeling comfortable in your own skin. Even if you’re just reading or watching a movie – I think it would be good for you to spend some time in just a robe.”

Sidney paused, trying to shift position and cover her cleavage.

“So, when you were able to quiet your mind and remain present in your body in the jacuzzi—did you find it to be pleasurable? If not, what was disturbing you?”

Sidney hoped that Sara’s OB-GYN had reassured her about her puffy areolae and nipples.

“I asked you to remain in your robe, so that you can start feeling comfortable in your own skin. Even if you’re just reading or watching a movie – I think it would be good for you to spend some time in just a robe.”

“So, when you were able to quiet your mind and remain present in your body in the jacuzzi—did you find it to be pleasurable? If not, what was disturbing you?”

"Okay, I guess I can probably try that. It will be different. I'm used to wearing full pajamas. I even wear my bra to bed. I just feel weird with my boobs loose." Sara giggled a little, as she was a little amused herself at how uptight it sounded.

She shifted, unconciously crossing her arms over her breasts. A pose Sara frequently used. She squeezed her thighs together, still very much aware of how sensitive her vagina still felt.

'Maybe I should ask Sidney about that. I wonder if it is the chemicals she uses in the jacuzzi. Oh boy. How am I going to explain what I Felt? She's going to think I'm a freak.'

Sara tried to organize her thoughts and decide how she was going to explain things to Sidney in order to answer her question. How does one who doesn't understand What they are feeling, explain it to someone else? What Sara did not realize, is that what she was feeling was a sexual stirring caused by viewing Sidney's nude breasts, as well being in such close physical proximity to her. Her brain was trying to make rational sense of it all. And then she tried to explain.

"Well, let's see. It definitely was different. When I was able to turn off my thoughts and I used my step relaxation techniques, I tried to make mental notes of things, sensations. I could feel the bubbles and the water movement. I could feel your hands on my back and your...um, boobs on my thighs."

Sara felt her face flush as she tried to stay focused and keep talking. She avoided looking directly at Sidney as she spoke.

"Um it was kinda weird having my nipples in the cool air as the rest of my body was in the warm water. I could feel the different sensations there. It was hard to relax at first, because I'm so self concious of my nipples." Sara tightened her arms further around her chest. She could feel the fabric rubbing on the sensitive nubs. A sensation that she was not accustomed to, as she never went without a bra.

"Ummm, uhhh, I started to feel......well, uhhh, it's hard to explain. Like a really strange nervy type feeling deep in my body. It seemed to get stronger after I relaxed fully into your arms. Not sure if it was maybe the chemicals in the water as we had been in there a while? I did notice that my labia looked a little swollen after. And it was quite sensitive when I wiped after using the bathroom. I mean, it didn't hurt at all. Just, well, I don't know. It's hard for me to explain. I still feel it. It's like it's super sensitive now and tingly I guess. But not in a bad way. It actually feels kinda pleasant, but different. My nipples too, but maybe that's the friction of the robe? Do you think it's the chemicals? I do have sensitive skin sometimes."

'Shut up, Sara! Let her get two words in edgewise. Sara felt her face flush hot and her thoughts began to scramble. She wondered if Sidney would even know what the hell she was trying to explain.

Sara took a deep breath and a big swig of her water, then relaxed back in her chair. She held her water bottle in her hands on her closed lap.

Session 1- Sara Smith

Sidney smiled, gently, reassuringly; Sara had so much to learn cognitively and experientially about her body. No wonder she had so much fear and anxiety on top of body image issues.

“First off, I want to applaud you for using your own tools that Dr. Davidson taught you to relax yourself. Those are tools that you can use in many different situations in your life. Secondly, I’m going to applaud you for noticing physical sensations even though they were puzzling and perhaps new to you. That “nervy” feeling that you describe in your nipples and genitalia develop as a result of sexual arousal. Your labia, clitoris, and nipples will engorge and may feel congested, or what you perceive as puffy. That’s perfectly natural, Sara. You were likely stimulated by multiple pleasurable factors once you quieted your mind and focused on your body.

Sexual arousal can be initiated by both mental and physical stimuli; and erotic stimuli will vary from person to person and will vary at different periods in time. It’s a complex subject. That’s why I try to make each client’s session variable and attempt to stimulate many senses.”

Sidney paused, allowing Sara to process that she was acknowledging her progress. She also wanted Sara to start associating the pleasurable, mysterious sensations with sexual arousal.

“So, no, I do not think the bromide in the jacuzzi caused your labia and nipples to feel sensitive. We somehow just created the right environment for you to feel relaxed and you were sensually, and perhaps sexually starting to become aroused. Many people enjoy that aroused state and many others like to heighten it, and they will stimulate themselves until they orgasm and the tension is released. And as you begin to get more familiar with touching your body, and having it be touched by others, you will have a stronger desire to experience an orgasm.”

Sidney could see that Sara was equally scared and curious, hugging the water bottle to her chest while her bright green eyes remained in contact with hers.

“Now, it does concern me that you keep your breasts, and thus your lymph glands, in a nearly constant restricted state. Particularly, after we’ve just been in warm water, which will cause vasodilation, and now we’re flushing your lymph and kidneys with water so you can remove toxins. I think it would be best if we could get you on the massage table, so I can help you learn how to explore your body and work on your lymph area. Just as I did in the whirpool, we will work at your comfort level, and we only have thirty minutes left anyway, so this will be a brief introduction. But, I’d like you to try to remember what I’m doing, so you can replicate it when you’re at home by yourself. I will probably slip into something like a short nightgown— it helps me to work intimately with clients, which is what I think you need. So, do you feel ready for a little sensual massage? Can you give me a moment to slip into some different attire?”

Sidney knew Sara was already feeling pleasurable sensations and hoped that she'd be curious to expand her pleasure and knowledge about herself. If not, they would explore sensual/erotic massage at their next appointment.

"First off, I want to applaud you for using your own tools that Dr. Davidson taught you to relax yourself. Those are tools that you can use in many different situations."

'Oh, good, she doesn't think I'm weird for all this heavy breathing I'm doing. At least I'm doing something right.' Sara relaxed her posture a little, uncrossing her arms and holding her water bottle in her lap.

"Secondly, I’m going to applaud you for noticing physical sensations even though they were puzzling and perhaps new to you. That “nervy” feeling that you describe in your nipples and genitalia develop as a result of sexual arousal. Your labia, clitoris, and nipples will engorge and may feel congested, or what you perceive as puffy. That’s perfectly natural, Sara. You were likely stimulated by multiple pleasurable factors once you quieted your mind and focused on your body.

Sexual arousal can be initiated by both mental and physical stimuli; and erotic stimuli will vary from person to person and will vary at different periods in time. It’s a complex subject. That’s why I try to make each client’s session variable and attempt to stimulate many senses.”

'Really? THAT was sexual arousal? That funny nerve feeling and the weird swelling? I've heard of "getting wet" for women, and the obvious erection for a man, but not puffy labia.' Sara thought, as she acknowledged with a shy smile. She was listening carefully as Sidney spoke. She felt her cheeks flush again as her heart began to beat a little faster.

Listening to Sidney was beginning to help Sara to understand the sensations that her body was experiencing; feelings and sensations that she had previously been too closed down, or simply not present in the moment enough to notice before. It was just beginning to make a little sense now. She had been vaguely taught about reproduction, and her menstrual cycle at age 12, but nothing about sexual intamacy.

“We somehow just created the right environment for you to feel relaxed and you were sensually, and perhaps sexually starting to become aroused. Many people enjoy that aroused state and many others like to heighten it, and they will stimulate themselves until they orgasm and the tension is released. And as you begin to get more familiar with touching your body, and having it be touched by others, you will have a stronger desire to experience an orgasm.”

Sara retracted her arms. Again, she was involuntarily gaurding her body. There would be a lot more she would need to learn about opening up to this new rhelm of sensuality, allowing it into her personal space, embracing it, and then reciprocating it to someone else.

'Wait, does this mean I am sexually attracted to Sidney? Or that she was sexually stimulating me? Is that possible if I like guys? Sidney does have very beautiful breasts. Her touch and her voice did make me feel good, relaxed.'

In her mind, Sara continued to try making sense of all that was being explained and put it together with what she felt and thought.

'I suppose that it's not really at all gay if she's my therapist. And I Am here for intamacy issues. And she is teaching me. I'd rather it be Sidney than some immature guy. I'm bound and determined that I'm going to do this!'

"Ok, I understand. That makes sense." Sara again unfolded her arms. But her heart began racing at the thought of Sidney sensually massaging her in order to purposefully bring on these new sensations. "I will wait for you in the massage room then."

Sara followed Sidney out into the hallway and to the door, where Sidney motioned for her to go in and make herself comfortable.

Opening the door to the small room, Sara breathed in, smelling the lingering aroma of candles used during previous sessions. There was a small lamp already lit on a corner table. Sara sat nervously on a chair next to the wall. Her knee and foot began to bounce, and a small tremble appeared in her hands. She felt thankful that only a couple minutes had past before Sidney appeared in the doorway.

Session 1- Sara Smith

Sidney stood in front of her walk-in closet, pausing to consider the best wardrobe option for Sara’s short session. She decided on her own lavender push-up bralette instead of her usual outfit. The front closure with three clasps kept her breasts snug and secure, creating a bountiful cleavage. It was a very sexy style, but Sidney felt that it was the best choice in case she needed to self-demonstrate an exercise with her own breasts. She re-clipped her hair in a loose bun, and wrapped and tied the sarong around her hips.

Upon entering her massage room, Sidney found Sara seated in the chair, bouncing her legs nervously, as her eyes glanced up at Sidney.

“Sara, while I attend to a few details for your session in here, I’d like you to start your deep breathing exercises. In fact, if you could really emphasize the exhalation, and make certain that you exhale fully and completely, I think you’ll find it helpful. But, by all means, use any tool that you find helpful. The right tool is the one that works for you. Once I have you settled on my table, I’m probably going to do the same thing for a few breaths myself so I can ground myself and focus.”

Sidney lit a few vanilla votives around the perimeter of the room for a ‘fire’ element. She decided on ‘Ocean spa’, which had a hint of crashing waves along with piano and flutes. And finally, Sidney pressed a button retracting a ceiling panel that revealed a mirror so that Sara could see what she was doing without having to move her head. She also positioned a standing mirror at the foot of the table.

These simple rituals, readying her room to help bring about transformation for her client, gave her a creative spark, an uptick of energy, and a sense of excitement. She felt honored to help initiate Sara into the wonders of her own body.

“Ok, Sara, I hope you find this environment soothing. Most of our sessions will be in here. I’m going to hold up a sheet while you remove your robe and then recline on my table. I’ll immediately drape you so that you won’t feel unnecessarily exposed. This is going to be a very brief but targeted session. I’m going to talk you through everything that I do beforehand.”

Sara's bout of nerves came to its peak when Sidney entered the room. The mere minutes alone with her mind reeked havoc on her nervous system. Her eyes had slammed shut with a furrow on her brow. Her knees where bouncing like crazy, an outward expression of her body when she was extremely nervous.

But Sidney's gentle instruction immediately began its counteraction. Trusting in this older, obviously self-confident woman, Sara discovered, was a little easier than her forethoughts would have it be.

Sara had immediately obeyed, taking slow, deep breaths in through her nose and out through her pursed mouth, focusing on her exhale, as Sidney had instructed. Within three, long, slow breaths her knees began to settle and she was able to release her death grip on the chair. To Sara, it was as if Sidney's inner peace and self confidence emminated like invisible rays outwardly from her body. And when in close proximty to her, Saras negative or dark enegry had much less power and would begin melting away.

After a few more cleansing breaths Sara slowly began to open her eyes. She discovered that her mind and body were now ready and able to be aware of, and absorb her surroundings. She now noticed the small flickers of light and the scent of the vanilla votives that Sidney lit around the room. Then her brain allowed her ears to absorb the soothing flutes and piano music, and soon the waves joined them.

'Wow, her bra is so beautiful.' Sara's eyes took in the sight of Sidney in her lavender bralette. She liked the way that it held Sidney's breasts from underneath, but didn't hide the topside. She could also see that Sidneys areola were peeking out just a bit from the lacy, top edge. And as Sidney moved about, she could occasionally glimpse her actual nipple. Sara felt a small tingle in her groin as her body was now more at ease.

"I really love your bra and sarong. It's so beautiful! I've never owned anything like that before." Sara said as she stood up.

Sidney raised the sheet as Sara lowered her robe, tossing it to the chair. She sat on the edge of the table and then laid back as Sidney followed with the sheet.

Sara noticed the mirrors just then and closed her eyes for a moment, taking in a couple more deep breaths as Sidney gently covered her nakedness.

"Thank you, I feel 80% better already. You're really good at this, and I'm glad that Dr. Davidson sent me to you. You seem to have a way of making me feel very relaxed, just being with you." Sara said as she looked up at Sidney.

Session 1- Sara Smith - Sensual massage

Sidney draped several sheets over Sara; one for each leg, one for the lower half of her body, and one for the chest and torso. She wanted Sara to feel warm and secure.

“I’m happy to hear that you feel relaxed with me. That means that you’re beginning to trust me and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. That’s part of being intimate. To let yourself, be yourself, in front of someone. And since I am a multi-skilled therapist, I think I’m the safest person you could possibly choose to help you on your journey of self-discovery. I can see why Dr. Davidson would refer you to me. I agree; we're a good match."

Sidney took a seat at the head of her massage table and unclipped Sara’s gorgeous, dark red hair and fanned it out against the headrest and from under her neck.

“Every woman is different in terms of what they find arousing. Although I would like to do some deep tissue work on your lymph glands, we’re going to start with just very simple, sensual massage. Feel free to simply relax, shut your eyes, or you may keep them open and study what I’m doing if you prefer. In fact, I’ll be filming this session if you’d like to review it at a later time. But, I’d still like you to remain present-focused as much as possible.”

Sidney slowly raked her fingers through Sara’s thick, soft hair and then gently massaged her scalp. She was close enough where her soft hair tickled her own belly. Sidney then patted and smoothed her hair, until her hands lightly caressed Sara’s face, and traced over her lips. She then caressed Sara’s ears and tugged lightly on her earlobes.

“You’re a beautiful young lady, Sara. We’ll discuss where you can find some garments like mine later, if you are interested. I’d love for you to have at least one to three items that make you feel sexy and sensuous when you wear them and enhance your assets. So, how are you feeling so far? Does anything feel frightening? I’m hoping you feel soothed, relaxed, and perhaps even mildly aroused. All these feelings are perfectly normal. But, I will be checking in with you periodically so you can learn to express your feelings and desires. I'd also like to be certain that I'm in synchronicity with you.”

“I’m happy to hear that you feel relaxed with me. That means that you’re beginning to trust me and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. That’s part of being intimate. To let yourself, be yourself, in front of someone. And since I am a multi-skilled therapist, I think I’m the safest person you could possibly choose to help you on your journey of self-discovery. I can see why Dr. Davidson would refer you to me. I agree; we're a good match."

Sidney chatted away while waiting for Sara to adjust herself on the table, and then draping her. It gave something for Sara to focus on, calming her nerves as the warmth of the fabric lightly hugged her. Sara smiled at the last part and then verbaly reinnerated. "Yes, a good match."

“Every woman is different in terms of what they find arousing. Although I would like to do some deep tissue work on your lymph glands, we’re going to start with just very simple, sensual massage. Feel free to simply relax, shut your eyes, or you may keep them open and study what I’m doing if you prefer. In fact, I’ll be filming this session if you’d like to review it at a later time. But, I’d still like you to remain present-focused as much as possible.”

Her arms and legs stiffened a little as she took in Sidney's words. Just the IDEA of sensual massage and filming.....and herself being nude made Sara's heart thump a few heavier beats. Closing her eyes for now seemed to be the better option.

'You're fine, Sara. You can do this. It's for your own good. Don't be such a sissy.....deep breath. Sara gave her brain an inner scolding for trying to cause trouble again. She took a deep breath and exhaled.

Within moments of Sidney running her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp, and smoothing over what were probably frown lines in the making on her face, Sara found herself relaxing again. Her toes, which were stiffly positioned inward and upward, slowly began to drift out to the sides. And her shoulders slowly uncurled themselves, submissively giving their weight over to the table beneath her.

“You’re a beautiful young lady, Sara. We’ll discuss where you can find some garments like mine later, if you are interested. I’d love for you to have at least one to three items that make you feel sexy and sensuous when you wear them and enhance your assets."

"Thank you. Wow, that would be great. I've never bought anything like that before. My Gram always drilled practicality into my head, so I've always chosen cotton. The couple times I looked, I ended up just leaving them on the rack. I love yours, you look so sexy....., I mean um, beautiful."

Sara felt her cheeks flush. 'Did I just seriously tell Sidney she looked sexy? I did, I said it outloud. Oh god, that means I thought it. And that I was looking at her in a sexual way. Was I? I guess that really is okay. Girls say that kind of stuff to each other all the time.

Sara opened her eyes again as Sidney gently rolled the edge of her ears between her fingers and tugged at her lobes. She studied her reflection in the mirror on the ceiling. She liked the way she looked. Like a fairy maiden should look, while laid out in a field of wild flowers draped in fine white fabric, with her flowing locks of red hair fanned out around her rosey cheeks and blue eyes. She had never seen herself like that before.

Then she looked at Sidney's reflection. She looked beautiful as well. Maybe she was another fair maiden, attending to her lovingly. Her nipples were covered now by the lavender lace, but she still had a vivid picture in her mind of what they looked like in the jacuzzi. 'Hers are perfect, just the right size and shape. And color too, a perfect shade of light pink. Sara's mind wandered as she relaxed under Sidney's ministering.

"So, how are you feeling so far? Does anything feel frightening? I’m hoping you feel soothed, relaxed, and perhaps even mildly aroused. All these feelings are perfectly normal. But, I will be checking in with you periodically so you can learn to express your feelings and desires. I'd also like to be certain that I'm in synchronicity with you.”

"Ummm, yes, good, I mean nothing frightening. This feels so lovely and relaxing." Sara was suddenly snapped from her sensual fairly tale back into reality. She felt that she should probably at least try to elaborate a little more, as Sidney was using the information to guide the session.

"It definitely helped my whole body to initially relax when you placed the warmed sheets on my body. And then even more when you were running your fingers through my hair. But when you started massages my ears and touching my lips and neck...um....I started to feel that tingling sensation again. I mean I'm feeling it some now. So that's the beginning of arousal?" Sara questioned as she looked at Sidney in the mirror. She wasn't about to add or admit that watching Sidney touching her in the mirror definitely added to the buzzing sensations building within her.