Coping When Spouse Is Withdrawing From Nicotine

Our romance is blossoming, but I fear that will be tested as the doctor's have told my husband that he needs to quit his habit of using Tobacco/Nicotine products. It has been four days since he started to cut back, which I am very proud of. But our once flourishing and easy communication has been riddled with bits and pieces of anger and tension due to the withdrawal.

I need a strong heart, and lots of patience to help him and guide him as he goes through withdrawal. I understand the impatience and irritability is part of the process. If I can just wait for two to three weeks, he will be better. He needs to do this, there's no ifs ands or buts.

Just give me the patience and understanding to be there for him and not let his bursts of irritability make it my fault he's doing this.

Just venting...

Just hang in there. It will get better.

I've quit nicotine, caffeine and sugar and the withdrawal process is so bad. It is difficult to go through and difficult to watch someone else go through. Usually after about 2 weeks things become a little more normal.

Good luck

Try limes to curb the cravings.. not cool with unhealthy teeth though. Google it and find about limes and quitting smoking. It’s been done in several university studies

Violetaluna said:

Just hang in there. It will get better.

I've quit nicotine, caffeine and sugar and the withdrawal process is so bad. It is difficult to go through and difficult to watch someone else go through. Usually after about 2 weeks things become a little more normal.

Good luck

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I have about 10 more days left, and he should be doing better.

AngusBridie said:

Try limes to curb the cravings.. not cool with unhealthy teeth though. Google it and find about limes and quitting smoking. It’s been done in several university studies

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We grow fresh limes out here, so its worth a try to ease the cravings just a bit.

Thank you both for your feedback, it is very much appreciated

Ignore the bad temper and support him.
It will be worth it.

Smoking is one of the main causes of erectile dysfunction and early death (typically in that order).
You will be able to keep him for longer and in a stiffer state.

Cumference said:

Ignore the bad temper and support him.
It will be worth it.

Smoking is one of the main causes of erectile dysfunction and early death (typically in that order).
You will be able to keep him for longer and in a stiffer state.

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lol Longer and stiffer is good....

I have a strong heart and backbone, I think I can support him....thanks for the important advice ... I know he can do it!

The relative addictiveness of nicotine is impressive.
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_RelativeAddictiveness.html


Lady C stopped smoking shortly after I got to know her (in the biblical sense of the word). She was aware, that I was fond of her, but found the habit disgusting.

All I can say is be supportive and very patient, Good Luck to you both hope he makes it.

Good day for him to clean the garage? Physical activity fills the time.

Cumference said:

The relative addictiveness of nicotine is impressive.
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_RelativeAddictiveness.html


Lady C stopped smoking shortly after I got to know her (in the biblical sense of the word). She was aware, that I was fond of her, but found the habit disgusting.

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I've heard that nicotine addiction is right up there with a few other heavy drugs. Its a tough habit to kick. I used to a long time ago and kicked the habit, it was actually ten years and 17 months ago that I quit. I kept the date so I would never go back again and always remember that day.

That's very cool about you two, support is very much needed when withdrawing, I'm there for him..

steve6161 said:

All I can say is be supportive and very patient, Good Luck to you both hope he makes it.

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Thanks so much!!

Dribble said:

Good day for him to clean the garage? Physical activity fills the time.

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That is true, we've incorporated daily walks, and daily check ins, just to see how he's doing. Maybe he can do the cleaning of the house as well

Eep! Brave, brave woman!

Alright, so first off nicotine is what is referred to as biphasic. It acts as both a stimulant and a relaxant over time. This causes an additional problem because the blood titration level where each user is most comfortable is different. And, because of the rapid fall off of the effects, the user has to increase intake to maintain the blood titration.

Additionally, it's rumored that the more popular brands typically incorporate sugar into their chemical formula. As if an addiction to the nicotine wasn't problematic enough!

Personally, I took my first dip of ... um.. Skoal? Copenhagen maybe, on the playground when I was eight years old. By the time I was fourteen, I was a right proper little thug, walking around town with a dip in my lip, a chaw in my jaw, and puffing away on a cigar I didn't know I wasn't supposed to actually inhale.

I quit, the first time, for a class in addictive behaviors. As part of the class assignment, we were supposed to chose something to give up for the duration of the semester. Every Tuesday, we would get together with our "support group" of three other class members to discuss how it was going. At the time, I was a recent transfer from engineering over to the "soft" sciences and didn't really buy into the whole newfangled (at the time) "disease concept of addiction". One of my group mates thought they were going to be smart and give up something they had hated their entire life; green beans. Being pretty well full of myself, I chose to give up both nicotine and caffeine in all forms. (In addition to my tobacco usage, I was putting away a thirty cup percolator of coffee by myself every night working the over night shift.)

I got caught the very next session. I was bragging that I was doing just fine. WHILE chomping on my third Snicker bar. And had it pointed out to me there was caffeine in Chocolate.

But, that was the only time I slipped. For the entire semester.

My classmate who gave up green beans, snickering up her sleeve, found herself craving green beans for the first time in her life. (Granted, I probably didn't help since I switched from Chocolate bars to battered and fried green beans for a snack. Hey, she shouldn't have laughed so hard about the chocolate fiasco.)

The day of the final, I turned it in, aced the class, and was met at the door by my two best friends. One had a carton of cigarettes and the other had a thermos of coffee. Apparently I was an even bigger asshole without them than I was with them.

I've given it up a couple of other times, but my experiences from then pretty much held common.

Setting aside the whole nicotine plus sugar addiction, there are also the behavioral considerations as well that most people, even smokers trying to quit, typically don't think about.

What do you do with your hands? One of those worry stones or newfangled spinners can help a little there.
What do you do with your mouth? Sucking on hard candy only helps minimally.
Time seems to pass more slowly. This is even more true while doing tasks once completed while smoking.
Smokers tend to be more sociable, believe it or not, than non-smokers. At least according to one little old lady on oxygen who frequented the Bingo hall my wife used to drag me to. She preferred to sit in the smoking section, because according to her, the people in the non-smoking section got on her nerves.
But, how do you fill that social void when all the people you used to chat with on break are out on the smoking section? Particularly when everything anyone says to you is too loud and too abrasive on frayed nerves?
And then there is what my classmate ran into. For certain personalities knowing you can't have something makes you crave it more. In her case, for the first time in her life.

Sounds seem louder. Sights seem brighter. It feels like you are nothing but a giant walking nerve ending. And for no really good reason once you stop and evaluate just what it was that person did that aggravated you. Which just makes us aggravated with ourselves and in turn causes us to lash out again. In a very real way, the nicotine has fogged the lens we've seen the world through for a long, long time. And, in a very real way, the way we deal with stress has been blunted to the age when we took up nicotine as our primary coping mechanism. We find ourselves having to learn the coping techniques non-smokers picked up while we were lighting up.

How can the spouse help during this time?

Understanding. Support. Love. Understanding. Devotion. A little more support. And a whole lot more understanding.

Grant me the serenity to accept what I can not change, the courage to change what I must, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Best of luck to the both of you!

PuckIt said:

Eep! Brave, brave woman!

I appreciate your post so much, it makes my day to get a post from you! Thank you for your support and and understanding what my husband is going through. I enjoyed reading your experiences and your story about your ordeal. I used to be a smoker and quit ten years ago, February 29, 2007, a leap year.

My husband's is similar in that he too started smoking and chewing at a young age. He is trying to find new habits, chewing gum, taking care of the yard, organizing things around the house. I can see it in his face that this is so hard for him, and that being around others that share his habit must be so hard for him. But he has no choice, he has to quit.

I didn't realize that there was sugar content along with nicotine. That will help his sugar levels as well.

How can the spouse help during this time?

Understanding. Support. Love. Understanding. Devotion. A little more support. And a whole lot more understanding.

Grant me the serenity to accept what I can not change, the courage to change what I must, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Best of luck to the both of you!

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Thank you so much for your kind words, and i will do my best to support him and be there for him as I always do.

I will be understanding when he has a short temper, patient when he does not make any sense....lol and I will be his encouragement and motivation to help him when he thinks he can't. He picked his day, he picked his cause, and now he just has to complete his goal.

Forever grateful

LOL = Language of Love

LanguageOfLove said:

[/COLOR]I will be understanding when he has a short temper, patient when he does not make any sense....lol and I will be his encouragement and motivation to help him when he thinks he can't. He picked his day, he picked his cause, and now he just has to complete his goal.

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You are a rock. Rock on.

Distract and Replace

I'm a former smoker. Had a real tough time quitting until I found a replacement.
I went to the gym, or walked the dog or, my favorite, made love to my understanding and generous girlfriend.
GIve him something else to do and to think about besides tobacco. Give him something else to suck on. It could benefit you both!

Okakuy88 said:

I'm a former smoker. Had a real tough time quitting until I found a replacement.
I went to the gym, or walked the dog or, my favorite, made love to my understanding and generous girlfriend.
GIve him something else to do and to think about besides tobacco. Give him something else to suck on. It could benefit you both!

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Forget that long thing I responded. ^^^I like this guy's thinking!^^^

And, hey! I got an idea for a second holiday contest entry! (Assuming I can get the first one done and in. Maybe I should write more and cruise the threads less, eh? )

PuckIt said:

Forget that long thing I responded. ^^^I like this guy's thinking!^^^

And, hey! I got an idea for a second holiday contest entry! (Assuming I can get the first one done and in. Maybe I should write more and cruise the threads less, eh? )

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Glad you like it. It's helped me stay nicotine-free for nearly 15 years. Your final paragraphs are spot on, too.

Remember your ol' pal okakuy when you write your new story!

Okakuy88 said:

Glad you like it. It's helped me stay nicotine-free for nearly 15 years. Your final paragraphs are spot on, too.

Remember your ol' pal okakuy when you write your new story!

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Okakuy88 said:

I'm a former smoker. Had a real tough time quitting until I found a replacement.
I went to the gym, or walked the dog or, my favorite, made love to my understanding and generous girlfriend.
GIve him something else to do and to think about besides tobacco. Give him something else to suck on. It could benefit you both!

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That will definitely get his mind off of the nicotine! Thanks for your reply! Good one too lol