Distance Domination-Support Thread

CurlyKat said:

Hmmmmm, that is a thought! Just like "ta-da, I'm here, so spank me!"

Click to expand...

*giggles* yeah something like that.

I don't know if it's that I haven't had much time with Jounar lately, or if I've been working too much, it could be the holidays coming, or PMS but I'm feeling the signs of depression coming on.

*sigh*

the captians wench said:

I don't know if it's that I haven't had much time with Jounar lately, or if I've been working too much, it could be the holidays coming, or PMS but I'm feeling the signs of depression coming on.

*sigh*

Click to expand...

What kind of things do you do to avoid depression?

ultramarineblue said:

What kind of things do you do to avoid depression?

Click to expand...

Exersize mostly. Shopping is my first instict but I realized spending the money depressed me more but walking around made me feel better. So I take a long walk, or go to the mall where I just can't bring myself to pay the prices I see but can still get the feeling of shopping.

I also clean. Something about that makes me feel better, but I'm past the stage where I even desire to clean.

the captians wench said:

Exersize mostly. Shopping is my first instict but I realized spending the money depressed me more but walking around made me feel better. So I take a long walk, or go to the mall where I just can't bring myself to pay the prices I see but can still get the feeling of shopping.

I also clean. Something about that makes me feel better, but I'm past the stage where I even desire to clean.

Click to expand...

Those are both things that make me feel good about myself as well but I can't bring myself to even do those. I don't know what to do to get myself back into doing that stuff.

ultramarineblue said:

Those are both things that make me feel good about myself as well but I can't bring myself to even do those. I don't know what to do to get myself back into doing that stuff.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat meself.

I can't even get myself excited about new costumes or decorating for the holidays.

the captians wench said:

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat meself.

I can't even get myself excited about new costumes or decorating for the holidays.

Click to expand...

I know how you feel. I can't get excited about some art projects I need to complete. Holidays have never been anything really big for me. I do like the smell of a cut Christmas tree though.

On the depression topic...

If you think it's seasonal depression, or SAD, you can try taking a vitamin D suppliment. Since you make most of your vitamin D from sun exposure, with less time in the sun, less D, and that can really affect your mood.

If you get really stressed, or have a stressful event/lifestyle, OR are taking the pill, you can try a vitamin B complex or combination suppliment. (make sure it includes B6 and B12) The pill is known for depleting B6, and stress uses much more of these vitamins, which help stabilize your mood. These will also give you more energy, too, though your pee will be NEON yellow.

Those are both ways I've dealt with previous bouts of depression, and have worked fairly well. Other tricks I use are trying to find new interests to distract me, even if I don't feel like it or don't think I have the energy. Most people have a list of things they want to do, like a list of books you want to read eventually or something like that. Just force yourself to do one thing, like pick up one book, and give it a chance. Sometimes it takes a while to get into it, but throwing yourself into something new instead of the standard go-to distractions you always use can alter your brain chemistry a little to help pull you out of depression.

Another one I've used is talking to someone supportive. This can be hard, since when you're depressed a lot of times you feel like you're just sucking the life out of others and don't deserve anything from them. If you have the right person, though, she won't mind listening to you and can help bring your mood up. Just make sure you're not commiserating with someone you know will bring you down even lower. On the other hand, though, helping others, whether it be a friend or volunteering somewhere to help out will lift your mood, too.

Hugs to you both. While I'm not in either of your situations at the moment, I do understand the lack of motivation and sinking feelings. I hope these suggestions help, and that venting here helps you out some, too.

I agree with Curlycat...both of your posts remind me of times I've been down. Talking with someone who is non-judgemental can be big help.

Well....after a lot of heart searching Daddy and I are no longer in a D/s relationship.

We are still together but I am not the sub I was the last time I had a Master. I am way too headstrong and brat does not even begin to touch what I am like. All I have been doing is causing us both pain, so it was time to step ourselves back a notch.

I would still walk away from everything I have if I could to be with him, but the distance and my own impatience has got us to this point. I am still going over next April and to all intense and purposes very little now has changed but I am still sad. I know we have made the right decision and I know we will still be together in many years time.

I'll poke my nose around the door occasionally to say hi and see if everyone is ok. Thank you all so so much for your support, I cannot even begin to tell you how much it has meant to me, particularly Wenchie

Be well and safe each

Lady_Fiona said:

Well....after a lot of heart searching Daddy and I are no longer in a D/s relationship.

We are still together but I am not the sub I was the last time I had a Master. I am way too headstrong and brat does not even begin to touch what I am like. All I have been doing is causing us both pain, so it was time to step ourselves back a notch.

I would still walk away from everything I have if I could to be with him, but the distance and my own impatience has got us to this point. I am still going over next April and to all intense and purposes very little now has changed but I am still sad. I know we have made the right decision and I know we will still be together in many years time.

I'll poke my nose around the door occasionally to say hi and see if everyone is ok. Thank you all so so much for your support, I cannot even begin to tell you how much it has meant to me, particularly Wenchie

Be well and safe each

Click to expand...

<<Big hugs>> The important thing is you are still in a relationship together. Distance is very difficult. The overt D/s in my own relationship goes from intense to barely there at all. Except for the knowledge in our hearts that he does own me, and I belong to him. Other than that many times real life simply take priority.

Please keep us updated. I would be interested to hear how the transition from D/s to vanilla (would it be vanilla or kinky or D/s in the bedroom when you do get together???)

I see Daddy and I together for the rest of our lives. I also see a point when we will be 90% vanilla.

back to you!

Lady_Fiona said:

Well....after a lot of heart searching Daddy and I are no longer in a D/s relationship.

We are still together but I am not the sub I was the last time I had a Master. I am way too headstrong and brat does not even begin to touch what I am like. All I have been doing is causing us both pain, so it was time to step ourselves back a notch.

I would still walk away from everything I have if I could to be with him, but the distance and my own impatience has got us to this point. I am still going over next April and to all intense and purposes very little now has changed but I am still sad. I know we have made the right decision and I know we will still be together in many years time.

I'll poke my nose around the door occasionally to say hi and see if everyone is ok. Thank you all so so much for your support, I cannot even begin to tell you how much it has meant to me, particularly Wenchie

Be well and safe each

Click to expand...

Distance is hard, D/s or no.

Wishing you all the best.

ecstaticsub said:

<<Big hugs>> The important thing is you are still in a relationship together. Distance is very difficult. The overt D/s in my own relationship goes from intense to barely there at all. Except for the knowledge in our hearts that he does own me, and I belong to him. Other than that many times real life simply take priority.

Please keep us updated. I would be interested to hear how the transition from D/s to vanilla (would it be vanilla or kinky or D/s in the bedroom when you do get together???)

I see Daddy and I together for the rest of our lives. I also see a point when we will be 90% vanilla.

back to you!

Click to expand...

Okay, so I can't see Jounar ever giving up bringing me to tears by some means of violence, but I can relate. *giggles*

I mentioned before that while I was there we weren't overtly D/s, but it was there just in the way we interact.

Hugs..Lady Fi...

distance is so hard. And i am glad Sir understands that. i am struggling and even though W/we are apart...He is there for me.

i hope you can get what you want.

the captians wench said:

Okay, so I can't see Jounar ever giving up bringing me to tears by some means of violence, but I can relate. *giggles*

I mentioned before that while I was there we weren't overtly D/s, but it was there just in the way we interact.

Click to expand...

I've been feeling really sick lately and Daddy has been sick, too. Put that together with me being in my mid-late 40's and he being a bit older...I guess I am just feeling like I am approaching my expiration date as far as my body being able to keep up with my mind (and His )

Sorry I'm being a downer...for whatever reason getting older has been on my mind lately.

ecstaticsub said:

I've been feeling really sick lately and Daddy has been sick, too. Put that together with me being in my mid-late 40's and he being a bit older...I guess I am just feeling like I am approaching my expiration date as far as my body being able to keep up with my mind (and His )

Sorry I'm being a downer...for whatever reason getting older has been on my mind lately.

Click to expand...

*giggles* Jounar is 13 years older than I am, and on my next visit he will be turning 40. I told him nothing will stop me from being there when my old man turns old (I'm sure I'll pay for that later).

I guess I'm still at an age where I don't think about the effects of growing old.

my daddy is 13 years older than me too!! and i get to meet him tomorrow!!!!!!!!! i like to think i keep him young...or maybe wear him out?

I had lunch with my mom today and we got to talking about the posibility and likelihood of me marring and moving to be with Jounar.

She's always said that she doesn't think I could do it. "Maybe for a year, but it would get to you"

But the more we talked about it, it hit her. "well maybe you could"

She said that she couldn't imagine uprooting like that, but the more she talked to me, the more she realized that I can, and will when asked to.

I think she finally sees how desperately I want this life for myself.

Just popping in.. Things have been crazy busy for us and me.. I hope everyone is doing well.. My divorce will be over in a few weeks and I can move on with my life.. now we are waiting on his ...

HUGS to all. .

the captians wench said:

I had lunch with my mom today and we got to talking about the posibility and likelihood of me marring and moving to be with Jounar.

She's always said that she doesn't think I could do it. "Maybe for a year, but it would get to you"

But the more we talked about it, it hit her. "well maybe you could"

She said that she couldn't imagine uprooting like that, but the more she talked to me, the more she realized that I can, and will when asked to.

I think she finally sees how desperately I want this life for myself.

Click to expand...

Mom's can surprise us. I am willing to move to Canada to be with Sir. Mom took a moment to say what yours did, and then realized quickly, yes, this is what I want. What we want. Good luck CW.

SubKekiLee said:

Just popping in.. Things have been crazy busy for us and me.. I hope everyone is doing well.. My divorce will be over in a few weeks and I can move on with my life.. now we are waiting on his ...

HUGS to all. .

Click to expand...

Hope things work as you would like them to Keki.

I'm not doing so well with the distance right now. It seems like it's only serving to pit my logical, rational side against my emotional, slightly crazy side (or so it feels). When things get super busy for one of us and we can't talk like we normally do, I worry about everything under the sun happening. Logically I know it's just because he's busy and it'll pass, but I've always been the type that has to actually see something or have it proven to me to believe it. I'm fine for a couple of days, but then the insane worry side of me takes over and even though I do trust him completely I can't help but wonder at everything.

The worst part of this, I think, is that I feel bad, almost guilty, for worrying about him. I should know better, and know that it's illogical to expect to hear from him all the time. Missing him so much sucks, though. Part of me thinks it would solve everything to just be able to see him and feel is arms around me, even if it was just briefly.

.....

hi (*shy wave*) uh, sorry to interupt the thread...noobie question for those of you who have been in this a while...

what's the best way of dealing with the "overstretched rubber band" feeling after playing? not in a physical sense, an emotional one... it doesn't normally hit until i wake up. He is five clock hours ahead of me, play time is the last hour before his bedtime. i have plenty to keep me occupied until my own sleep time so i don't notice it. but waking up with that feeling is hard.

any advice welcome...please.

CurlyKat said:

I'm not doing so well with the distance right now. It seems like it's only serving to pit my logical, rational side against my emotional, slightly crazy side (or so it feels). When things get super busy for one of us and we can't talk like we normally do, I worry about everything under the sun happening. Logically I know it's just because he's busy and it'll pass, but I've always been the type that has to actually see something or have it proven to me to believe it. I'm fine for a couple of days, but then the insane worry side of me takes over and even though I do trust him completely I can't help but wonder at everything.

The worst part of this, I think, is that I feel bad, almost guilty, for worrying about him. I should know better, and know that it's illogical to expect to hear from him all the time. Missing him so much sucks, though. Part of me thinks it would solve everything to just be able to see him and feel is arms around me, even if it was just briefly.

Click to expand...

Been there....oh man have I been there.

The way we get through it is a lot of compermise and restraint. I restrain myself from texing/emailing/iming/ and ringing him a million times a day when we are aproaching my "no contact limit" and he recognizes that I have that limit and does his best to give some sort of contact when we've hit that limit.

My limit has expanded. When we first got together, the limit was 24 hours. This caused more problems than anything else and I realized if I wanted Jounar in my life, then I'd have to expand that limit. I'm up to 7 days now. I've talked about the varying stages and progression of thought durring these 7 days here before.

It sucks, and it doesn't go away, and I don't think it hurts any less, EVER. But it does get more bearable.

insert____here said:

hi (*shy wave*) uh, sorry to interupt the thread...noobie question for those of you who have been in this a while...

what's the best way of dealing with the "overstretched rubber band" feeling after playing? not in a physical sense, an emotional one... it doesn't normally hit until i wake up. He is five clock hours ahead of me, play time is the last hour before his bedtime. i have plenty to keep me occupied until my own sleep time so i don't notice it. but waking up with that feeling is hard.

any advice welcome...please.

Click to expand...

Can you explain this feeling a little better? I'm just not sure what you mean by "overstretched rubber band".

Jounar is 5 hours ahead of me so I can relate there.

the captians wench said:

Can you explain this feeling a little better? I'm just not sure what you mean by "overstretched rubber band".

Click to expand...

I *think* she might be talking about impending or in progress sub drop. I think.

If that's the case, I'd recommend a nice hot bath, a packet of chocolate biscuits and a book or movie that you can lose yourself in.

But when you wake up with that feeling. ugh. It can be hard to throw yourself into your day.

Me, I try to just recognise what's happening, and surround myself with comforts and wait it out.

Just stopping in

I'm Frank's Angel and my Sir lives in Florida while I am living in California. Hopefully we will have that first face to face meeting come December (crossing fingers). I'm glad to be here and hopefully this can be a place of some support for me.

the captians wench said:

Can you explain this feeling a little better? I'm just not sure what you mean by "overstretched rubber band".

Jounar is 5 hours ahead of me so I can relate there.

Click to expand...

kind of twangy and limp and emotionally stretched thin. i have no-idea if there's a name for this...i really am very new
He is five clock hours ahead, but essentially a day behind. so if it's 7pm on tuesday for me its, 12midnight on monday for Him.
prevention is better than cure, so if there's a way to stop feeling so...bluh....instead of dealing with it when it happens that would be better. it plays havoc on my work morning.

thanks ladies....