Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Dec 11, 2017

• #2,401

JKendallDane said:

Holdsh shtilshz forsh a minutesh...I lostsh minsh denturshs insh theresh ansh Ish needsh toosh digsh themsh outsh.

.

Click to expand...

Hah!!

 

My I

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jan 27, 2005

Posts

1,245

• Dec 11, 2017

• #2,402

"Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• Dec 11, 2017

• #2,403

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

 

ChloeTzang

Literotica Guru

Joined

Apr 14, 2015

Posts

7,801

• Dec 11, 2017

• #2,404

Hypoxia said:

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

Click to expand...

Screams!

 

Smoothshavendad

Here to have fun

Joined

Nov 14, 2017

Posts

15,886

• Dec 11, 2017

• #2,405

Honey, I think we need to paint the ceiling.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Dec 17, 2017

• #2,406

You look different now that I have light, get off me, and get out!

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Dec 17, 2017

• #2,407

Is that it?

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Dec 17, 2017

• #2,408

Are you ready to die?

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Dec 17, 2017

• #2,409

I am shiva the god of death

 

My I

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jan 27, 2005

Posts

1,245

• Dec 18, 2017

• #2,410

Not so much a sound but a ... Smell?

Burning rubber!

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• Dec 18, 2017

• #2,411

"Thank you, Lord {JHWH}, for what we are about to receive, hey guys?"

 

Wishingbox

Professional hand

Joined

Dec 17, 2016

Posts

1,245

• Dec 19, 2017

• #2,412

Ok is it in?

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• Dec 19, 2017

• #2,413

Nice and easy, now... put that mandolin down. On the floor. Right there. Yeah, now turn around. Hands on the top of your head, y'hear? Okay, now bend over...

 

ChloeTzang

Literotica Guru

Joined

Apr 14, 2015

Posts

7,801

• Dec 19, 2017

• #2,414

Where did I get that cucumber for the salad? Found it in your bedroom on your bed. What was it doing there anyhow?

 

steelyblue73

Chronic Daydreamer

Joined

Sep 8, 2014

Posts

14,365

• Dec 19, 2017

• #2,415

The elevator go "DING"!
True story...

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• Dec 20, 2017

• #2,416

Boos and catcalls from the audience.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Dec 21, 2017

• #2,417

Keep at it, I'll be right back I just need to nuke North Korea real quick.

 

B

bone251

Literotica Guru

Joined

Sep 6, 2001

Posts

2,880

• Dec 21, 2017

• #2,418

It's the dog, hide your balls!

 

tedsbeds

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jul 23, 2014

Posts

4,083

• Dec 21, 2017

• #2,419

bone251 said:

It's the dog, hide your balls!

Click to expand...

Michael?! I thought your name was Michelle!

 

JKendallDane

Plot Bunny Herder

Joined

Jun 26, 2012

Posts

6,897

• Dec 21, 2017

• #2,420

What do you mean the fish tank is empty? That's where Fred my boa constrictor should be.

.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jan 28, 2018

• #2,421

Oh my god there's a bear, run!

 

ChloeTzang

Literotica Guru

Joined

Apr 14, 2015

Posts

7,801

• Jan 28, 2018

• #2,422

loquere said:

Oh my god there's a bear, run!

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Honey, the bear's got a woody and I think he wants to join in...

 

JerseyJade

Jade

Joined

Jan 18, 2018

Posts

37,746

• Jan 28, 2018

• #2,423

Someone walking in the room.

 

rae121452

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jul 18, 2017

Posts

6,727

• Jan 28, 2018

• #2,424

"i have cholera."

 

ChloeTzang

Literotica Guru

Joined

Apr 14, 2015

Posts

7,801

• Jan 28, 2018

• #2,425

rae121452 said:

"i have cholera."

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"Not going to need any lube when I stick that dildo in then, am I?"