What do you crave in a Domme?

For me, if I were to have a Domme, she would need to be strict but fair, and very loving.
Basically, whatever she does I need to feel that she's doing it for my sake and my benefit. If she trains me or denies me my pleasure - it's for my benefit, because the Domme knows better.
She needs to e very kind and caring, almost nursing in her attitude.
Even if she does something mean to me, she kinda needs to be soothing at the same time, pitying me or cooing supportive words.


I dislike dommes who act roughly, as entitled bitches or brats and the like. That's the image you see a lot in femdom porn, and I don't like it.

I guess what I would look for is pretty much the same what I'm offering and like as a dominant. A very loving, caring but strict domination. Playful, but for the sake of both. Never degrading or abusive.

p.s. I can appreciate femdom, but I'm dominant mostly, so I'm not a real sub to ask.

lilcuriouscatt said:

I have enjoyed reading the variety of posts here, but I feel that I must comment also. I am a Domme and have been in the lifestyle longer than there has been an Internet. I am not "devastatingly beautiful", I allow my subs to see all sides of my personality as I expect them to show me all that they are. Humour has a place in all my relationships, can't avoid it when you are trying something new and it all goes to hell.I consider myself a gentle Domme, but I am will definitely spank you until you can't sit if you disobey me.

There is no one right way to do D/s, because people want different things. If you are lucky enough to find someone that wants the same things you do, grab them and hold on tight. Then do whatever makes you both happy.

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Well said, Ma'am. And you do it so well.

Mainly, I want my Domme to be flexible. Sometimes, I'm going to totally submit to her will and I need her love and compassion to guide me. Other times, I'm going to need put up a fight and I want her to break me. However, I want her to enjoy the challenge. I don't want to be a brat unless she likes the experience as well.

Also, I want a healthy imagination in my Domme. Let's both figure out all the things we enjoy together, not only kinks, but other things as well. Even though these encounters are highly sensual, they don't always have to be sexual. You need your house cleaned? Dress me up as a slutty maid and put me to work! You need help with an online class? I'll be there for you. I find people interesting and also try to figure out what makes them tick.

ShyMaleSub said:

Well said, Ma'am. And you do it so well.

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Well, you would know.

lilcuriouscatt said:

Well, you would know.

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I'm learning, at least.

sissy's choice

shescurious11 said:

I've met a few submissive men and wonder what they really crave about their Domme. What qualities or rituals or things really do it for you?

xx

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sissy will say one word, then elaborate: TRUST

Most of all sissy must TRUST that the Dom cares and is looking out for sissy's best interest.
Then sissy needs a Dom that is kind and gentle while being stern and harsh.
The Dom/sub relationship must be based on communication and understanding, sissy knows that sissy will not get whatever sissy wants but sissy must be able to communicate how sissy feels about things without :caning:.
sissy wishes to be controlled and not have to make decisions thus bringing inner peace of mind to sissy.

Yay, post #2

As a newbie I've found a few things I'm more inclined to look for.

First and foremost for me is patience, I'm not a mind reader or experienced at all so finding that special someone whom is willing to teach, guide and educate me to her needs and desires is a huge plus.

As the girl above me stated so well, trust is huge. For me knowing someone has the power to crush me yet I trust them enough in their role to control me on most levels is another win. Someone who can take me to the edge but trustworthy enough not to push me over.

Thirdly someone who actually cares and is nurturing in a sense. I'd love to meet that special someone who would take pride in having me as a sub, someone who is firm but caring.

Just a newbies high hopes lol

I'm looking for a D/s relationship in the bedroom only...at least for the most part. The woman should have a strong, dominant personality, confident in giving commands and expecting submission. She should be fairly insatiable sexually and love to have me perform oral sex under her direction and control. I would be grateful if she was totally into having her ass worshipped. I would like being trained to demonstrate abject submission and obedience, and to be used for her pleasure and amusement. When displeased, she could administer severe corporal punishment. I would hope that she would enjoy cock and ball torture and chastity training.

I want to be trained to be worshipful, submissive, and obedient, and to have my mouth used not only as an instrument for her pleasure, but also as a receptacle for all of her feminine fluids.

Above all, a special connection that I can't explain
Everything else is secondary to me.
I can make a long wish list, but if given to the wrong One, it won't work
Haven't found Her yet.

......

I've had my fair share of entitled Dommes. Having said that, when I was just developing my desires as a submissive, I tended to be selfish as well, displaying that same attitude. Experienced Dommes know better, they understand the rapport, that two way street of communication and respect that cements a good D/s relationship.

I crave that as a foundation.

Even more if She is willing to engage me on a creative level as in finding ways to carry our activities to new bounds.

My Dream Domme

For me, I would like to find a woman who knows that SHE is in charge 24/7 and will expect my complete obedience at all times. SHE knows that my presence there as her sub or slave is to provide HER with pleasure.

That pleasure comes in many forms including all domestic chores, cooking, personal service, and of course sexual service when SHE wants it.

I'm not into punishments but if SHE chooses to impose some form of correction, well that's HER prerogative.

The only thing I ask in return is that SHE not completely ignore me. I am HER sub, SHE can do with me as SHE pleases, but I would like some attention from time to time.

I'll keep it extremely simple by replying to this in one word- Friendship.

Yesss

lilcuriouscatt said:

I have enjoyed reading the variety of posts here, but I feel that I must comment also. I am a Domme and have been in the lifestyle longer than there has been an Internet. I am not "devastatingly beautiful", I allow my subs to see all sides of my personality as I expect them to show me all that they are. Humour has a place in all my relationships, can't avoid it when you are trying something new and it all goes to hell.I consider myself a gentle Domme, but I am will definitely spank you until you can't sit if you disobey me.

There is no one right way to do D/s, because people want different things. If you are lucky enough to find someone that wants the same things you do, grab them and hold on tight. Then do whatever makes you both happy.

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Love this post!
As I try to learn more about my need to be dominant, I was worryed that I wasn't a "true" Domme because I was to old, to heavy, to gentle, and leather gives me a rash!

So glad other women have found a path that works for them, gives me hope.

Stern but loving. Taking charge, but not too insecure to let me lead when we are out dancing. Willing to be lavished with attention, but also ready to take from me what you want to have. I am not saying this is realistic.It is just what my fantasies look like...

Love,
-S-