Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

If you were any more frigid, I'd have to chip the icicles off of your nipples.
 
I call those 'speed bumps'. They're from when I had an extra inch grafted on to it.
 
How do you like my 'hot rod'? Hurt like a bitch when I had flames tattooed onto it.
 
If I'm gonna get wet, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and kill the lights. Your face is just destroying the mood bud.
 
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