BDSM: Questions and Answers

hello cymbidia.
I am sorry about people being d...heads on here. I am new here and have been reading the posts and I would like to continue reading what you have to say. Please do not leave..
Thank you ,
Carrie :D
 
Wizard[/i] [b]I'm intrested in hearing myself............................ [/b][/quote] [quote][b]And waiting................................. Please do tell.....................[/b][/quote] LMFAO! Okay said:
Spill it, Bb! Tell us all about it.
How did you feel? (Comfy, nervous, at home, thrilled, wildly excited...?)

My friend said I really worked the 'bored model' look and that no one there would have guessed it was my first party! :) I started getting a headache before we got there so I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. I also didn't know that if the couples went into the back, that I could go see what was going on. You know I would have been a nosy bitch if I had known that!! Anyway, there were two bartenders and two 'watchers' in the club along with our private party. One of the bartenders kept flirting with me before the public scene started. He had even taken my phone number on the pretense of calling me to tell me how much it would be to order some lingerie in my size. For some reason, as we left that evening, he didn't even say bye to me and I still haven't heard from him. I wonder why? lol.


Did you mostly just hang and watch or did you get involved with anything?

I just watched and got a couple of ideas - he, he. I finally got to see a single tail used, which was neat. And now I know what 'subspace' looks like. The guy I watched has been in the lifestyle for a long time. After watching him, I feel more confident about knowing what to look for in my sub. I missed seeing a mummification scene though.


Was it public or private?

Was supposed to be private but, as I mentioned before, there were onlookers. Well, it was inside a swingers club but closed for us for 5 hours.


Got any clearer insights on what you'll tell those fools who sneer, "You're just repressing your sub side," at you?

Not yet but I did give someone a shit-eating grin the other night that told me I had to be a 'switch' at the least. Any suggestions? What's so weird is that there are a couple of female tops in the club already so I don't get it.


Did'ja make use of the electrical play info you learned a week or so ago?

No but I'm hoping to very soon. :) In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think anyone had electrical equipment Saturday.

Are you feeling personally powerful with all these new erotic, sensual, personal freedoms bubbling through your body and mind, Bb? Those are some cool feelings, aren't they?:cool:

Yes, they are! It especially feels good knowing I'm not some kind of freak. There aren't any male bottoms in the club I belong to but there are a couple in one of the other clubs they want to get me introduced to. My head is still swimming. My friend started laughing because I handed her my membership money Sunday night and said, "I wanna join." Her boyfriend was concerned that I had been scared off. It's going to take a little more than moans, sighs and orgasms to scare me off! :D
 
Thanks for sharing that with us............................Skitten and I found a club in Ohio we are going to drive out and check out here in the future..............................;)
 
Wizard said:
Thanks for sharing that with us............................Skitten and I found a club in Ohio we are going to drive out and check out here in the future..............................;)

Oh, good luck and definitely HAVE FUN!!
 
I don't care what anyone says ...... This is the sanest thread on the damn board.

Cym, come out of hiding and go into one of your long-winded posts. Please!
 
morninggirl5 said:
I don't care what anyone says ...... This is the sanest thread on the damn board.

Cym, come out of hiding and go into one of your long-winded posts. Please!

Cym wont be back till around the 6th or so.
 
So no new topics? Guess we'll have to wait for cym to liven this thread back up. I wrote a poem today, but it isn't great. Took a break for a while and really need to write everyday to hear the voice.



I've lost your colors
words dipped in vibrant hues
or saturated in the sweetness of your soul
painting a vision only you imagine

I have my jazz, but lost your sound
a voice in stolen afternoons
far away hands a thousand whippoorwills apart
surrendered to your blushing desire

two worlds beyond the scattered now
where harmony crosses path with karma
where pull of need and push of want
find their place past the horizon

Even now, the mystery deepens
to drape your beautiful eyes
hoist you to the chains
kissing your flesh with leather

freeing you from sleepless nights
 
Skitten.................For those that don't know that would be Mrs. Wizard and I have now read several great books on BDSM and come to find we have been into it for several years now and are looking to take it to the next level.
We have found several "Munches" in our area and look forward to hitting one in the next month.
We also have found a camp that looks way cool...............The bad part it is once a year and it is next week .......too soon for us and they are filled up anyhow..........

Anyone every do these "Munches"? WrterDom?
anyone else?
Likes, dislikes?

I did forget to say there are tons..........Just tons of great website to those that would like to learn more I have alot bookmarked if anyone where to want them.
 
Another example of the prejudice and ingnorance with which so many people view BDSM sexuality. Not only is the view espoused here incorrect (mixing BDSM with force), but it's incredibly short-sighted and simplistic.

You gotta speak up when you see this kinda thing, guys. Here or elsewhere. Only through education, only by presenting ourselves as *people*, first, and sexual people who do something a little unusual, second, will society at large stop characterizing us as monsters.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=41257


There's one other thing i wanted to mention before i fade back into my vacation (i'll be back next Tuesday or so). A few days ago, while here visiting my parents in my childhood home, i told my *mother* that (1) i write erotica, and (2) i am - and have been for all my sexual life - a BDSM submissive.

Her response was most unexpected in a wonderfully surprising way. When i told her i wrote erotica, she cracked up laughing. She giggled and turned red and snorted. She could barely contain herself.

"Hee hee hee," she laughed," I can't believe i promised you that i wouldn't tell anyone. How could you tell me that you write porn and then not let me tell anyone?"

"It's not porn, Mom," i answered, amazed by her reaction but wanting to get the terminology clear, "it's erotica. Porn is just get off on, it's whack fiction. Erotica has a story component. Besides, i write erotic poetry, too."

She was still giggling and plotting who, among her friends, she could tell THIS to when i shook my head and walked off.

Moms.
You never know how they'll react.

The BDSM news prompted an intense three hour discussion, she and i, sipping iced tea on the back porch swing. That discussion was far more sober than the one about me writing erotica, and was filled with incredibly honest and real talk between us.



I'm on vacation and have to go; everyone is waking. I'll discuss this in more detail when i'm home, perhaps, if it's appropriate.

How about you?
Anyone tell their parents? Sibs? Other close relations?
Why? Why not?

See you next week.
:cool:
cym



Wizard? Ask SteamyChik about munches; she co-runs the Dallas (i think) one. Ask BlackBich, too, she might have a recent-newbies view. munches can be wonderful ways in which to meet local lifestylers or they can be awkward, stilted things. You gotta go with an open mind, of course, and be prepared to meet all kinds of people there, from freaky-looking WAY out people to those who look like your mom and dad. Remember to bring your open mind. The people running munches are usually really aware of newcomers and will do thier best to include you in things and intro you around. Be sure you TELL the you're new to being out about it, okay? They'll help you. Fear not. It'll be fun. :cool:
 
Okay I give.... whats Munchies?

I know the dorito and taco dip kind, but somehow think this is something way differant, and better for you.
 
Merelan said:
Okay I give.... whats Munchies?

I know the dorito and taco dip kind, but somehow think this is something way differant, and better for you.

They are just get-togethers at a restaurant for drinks, food, and chat. Usually they'll reserve a private room. There is one near Atlanta that meets every other Thursday and has around 50 people.
 
cymbidia said:
Another example of the prejudice and ingnorance with which so many people view BDSM sexuality. Not only is the view espoused here incorrect (mixing BDSM with force), but it's incredibly short-sighted and simplistic.

You gotta speak up when you see this kinda thing, guys. Here or elsewhere. Only through education, only by presenting ourselves as *people*, first, and sexual people who do something a little unusual, second, will society at large stop characterizing us as monsters.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=41257


Uhhmmm - just a little statement for the records ... on my very personal account I do take the liberty to see myself (and with it my lifestyle) with a good portion of humor too.

I agree that we need to educate where lack of education seems the problem - but I at the same level do think we need to be ready to make fun of ourselves as well, thus making it even more obvious that we are - after all - just as normal as anyone.

I sometimes wonder if we really do ourselves the best service by taking every remark as an heavy intro to educate and clear things up. Maybe it would help our cause at times to simply be a little more easy going and fall in with the fun. I have found for myself that I get away much better by telling the worst blonde jokes myself (and yes, guess what, I am a natural blonde), I have found that it helps a lot in getting my point across if I can see the fun side of things and SHARE them - then swap over to the education and content when needed.

I can only assume your post here was related to the one you replied / quoted to on that thread - and damn - it jumped me into the face that it was FUN! thus was my response to it. I just can'T see an attack behind every time a clichee is used and I am sure not willing to climb the barricades each time.. just as I never did when people made a blonde-joke.

On a further remark - Nessus wrote a bunch of excellent stories - among them BDSM ones of high level and quality (imho anyway) and his question was sure not one of lack of knowledge. From what I understood the answers he sought were exactly those from NOT US, who we know, but from those who DON'T know, trying to find out about the prejudices which are so hard for us to understand but so common around the people who never ventured into our corner of fulfillment. You think the ones not wiling to learn, not willing to see (exactly those are the people giving us that bad reputation, not the ones who come here and read this thread, wanting to learn and know).

So here a little plea to my fellow lifestylers:
Don't take ourselves and what we are and do too serious - we and our view on things is not THAT important for everyone else to be constantly bashing us. And see things lightly at times - sometimes we nee to take a step back and see the mischievous twinkle in peoples eyes as they try to provoke us with all the clichee they perfectly know to be wrong and silly, just to watch us jump into "defense mode" ... we need not be fierce fighters for our rights all the time.

If we have lost the ability to laugh about ourselves, if we have lost the ability to look at us and see the fun side of things , then we have become what people think we are: Selfcentred, selfposessed and soulless monsters, not caring and without the love and humanity we so dearly try to make visible in all our educational efforts. We will be seen as sour folks and sure this will not aid in the dialogue we are searching for.

On the other hand I fullheartedly agree to and appreciate all the effort that is made here specially and on the net in general (at least on those sites that are truels dedicated to education and not just the fetish thrill for quick bucks). Answers need to be given where questions are posed - information has to be distributed and misperceivings need to be straightened out where harm can be done. There sure is a time for that - but that time is not all the time.
 
Wizard? Ask SteamyChik about munches; ..................Will do I am very awear as to what will be going on read so many web sites about the munches and workshops they have..........They do one of each a month......this months workshop is on nipple abrasions...........I'm Into it....................
 
Merelan said:
Okay I give.... whats Munchies?

I know the dorito and taco dip kind, but somehow think this is something way differant, and better for you.

Your too Funny,Merelan................................LMAO
 
Great post Hecate!

I had decided to take that same attitude regarding this new aspect of my sexuality I've finally decided to allow myself to explore. It's as much a part of me as being black, which I try not to take too seriously. It's part of who I am. If someone doesn't like it, screw them. That being said, it's great to educate if someone is truly interested. However, I prefer not to waste my breathe on someone who's going to hate regardless of what you say - it's just not worth it.


I thought your poem was great, WriterDom.


Wizard said:
Skitten.................For those that don't know that would be Mrs. Wizard and I have now read several great books on BDSM and come to find we have been into it for several years now and are looking to take it to the next level.

This is SO cool. You Go Boy! Oh, and Girl! :)



We also have found a camp that looks way cool...............The bad part it is once a year and it is next week .......too soon for us and they are filled up anyhow..........

This sucks. There is a lifestyles bed and breakfast I've heard about. Would you like for me to check into it for you?


We have found several "Munches" in our area and look forward to hitting one in the next month.

Anyone every do these "Munches"? WriterDom?
anyone else?
Likes, dislikes?

I've never been to a munch. Isn't that awful? The group is trying to find a place to have these get togethers. From what I've heard they are GREAT ways to connect with people who are in the lifestyle and get information. I had a friend that I was able to get all my information from.


I did forget to say there are tons..........Just tons of great website to those that would like to learn more I have alot bookmarked if anyone where to want them.

There are some pretty good ones out there. To anyone who's just becoming acquainted with the lifestyle, use your judgement. Just like there are good ones out there, there are crappy ones as well.


FYI: I've just joined a group here in town called Shibari. I'm official as of last night. <weg> This group required an orientation, a safety and etiquette class, and an interview before I was considered 'official'. There are classes available through the community college and a library of books. That's what prompted me to join this particular organization, the education factor. This is something to consider if you're new to the lifestyle since there's alot of things you don't know yet. IMHO, any organization that expects you to jump in with both feet at the very beginning (and there are some, we have two in town), you should run very fast and not look back.

Now, that being said - I'm finally learning how to use a signal whip!!!

YEE HAW....


Can you tell I'm excited?

Oh, and I'm going to my first committee meeting today!!
 
Wizard said:
this months workshop is on nipple abrasions...........I'm Into it....................

They do workshops at your munches? With our organization, we have munches and socials which are separate from the workshops.

HHMMM....

I hope it's in a private area.
 
Sorry Blackbich, I may not have said that very well ...................They meet two times a month once is a dinner and the 2nd one is a workshop so they do them just not at the same meeting.;)


And you go girl....have fun and be safe.....:D
 
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So a munchie could be doritos and taco dip? Cool. I might have to use a whip if you try to take it away.

Hmmm.... wonder if there are any in the area, and if I would have the nerve to go. God Wizard and Skitten, you two are the most awesome couple. Maybe I better come down to PA again, soon.

Okay, can I ask another question? What is a signal whip?

God I am ignorant. Maybe I better go find one of those websites you guys recommended.
 
Yes Merelan come down to pa we are going to the munches maybe then i can learn some awesome thing to do to Master wizard. Things are always getting more exciting here you never know what we will do next. But look into some of the sites if you want some really good BDSM ones that we found I'd be happy to share them with you/
skitten629@yahoo.com is my email

Let me know :D
 
Merelan said:
Okay, can I ask another question? What is a signal whip?

God I am ignorant. Maybe I better go find one of those websites you guys recommended.

You're not ignorant - you're naive :) . There's a difference.

A signal whip is a small (3-6 feet) whip that is used by animal trainers. If you've ever seen a lion tamer who cracks a whip around the lions, that's a signal whip.
 
Your points about humor as an antidote to misinformation and outright ignorance regarding BDSM practices are excellent, Hecate. I'll try harder to be less affronted and go more for humor. After all, will i really win anyone over who has a closed mind and isn't interested in what i have to say about what we do? Besides, the original poster was, he says, jesting - and i took that jesting WAY too seriously. :( I'm off my game. Must be too much vacation.

That said, Creidhne and i didn't have a digital cam and so used a couple of those handy-dandy disposable ones when we were together. Does anyone know a place i can send thos disposable cams to be developed? The place would have to be VERY tolerant of BDSM-themed pics. Included in the pics are piercing, flogging, hoods, various and sundry kinds of anal play... you get the picture. Some of them are for posting in public but many are for our private files. So, anyone know a place? (Then, of course, when the pics come back and IF they won't develop them onto a disc, we need someone with a scanner to scan them in for us. Anyone?)

Thanks.
:cool:
 
well - just in case ....

I have a scanner and sure won't take any offense ... just thought I'd offer *s* .. Ohhhh *weg* and I have a digi cam and I am said to take decent pictures .. just in case you want to do a repeat performance and have someone there to take the pics for you ....*looking all innocent waving a "it is not for my pleasure - I am just trying to be helpfull" sign*

Unfortunately I can't help you out on the "where to go in first place" problem.

To be honest - it strikes me funny to even think about it .. here I just take any pics anywhere to be developed (well, maybe not the local store where my mom would do her shopping *g* you never know...) since usually they are sent to large development centers and return all anonymously and bagged to the store they came from - so the people developing will never know who you are - and the ones handling the pics in the store won't know what is on them (as long as you don't have complaints *winks* which in that case probably isn't your main concern)

Mhhhh - sounds like you had a really great time there and I hope you at leaste let us catch a glimpse of the not so private ones *s* Inquiering minds want to know - and this thread is all about education, right??? ;)
 
Cymbidia,

I just check my bookmarks to find the name of the place that did several rolls for us.
Laurel gave us the name and they are out of biz. now so that is no help but I tried.........Sorry:confused:
 
You guys are great. All of you.

As always, Hecate, thank you for your tolerance and kindness. Your words and deeds amply illustrate the good person you are.

Wizard? Our thanks to you and Skitten for the links. Maybe Hecate can just send her pics in, there in flexible, free, tolerant northern Europe but here in the US we have to be *much* more careful. In some states, some of what are in those pictures migt be of interest to law enforcement, quite frankly. Sad, isn't it?

And yes, we'll be posting some of them here at Lit. There's a whole series of piercing pics we took for that express purpose, as well as a few regular ole BDSM flogging pics with me hooded, gloved, and my hands locked WAY up over my head. We're careful to not show our faces or any distinguishing marks (we each have a couple of very distinctive tats, for example), but don't mind some of the rest of showing. (An aside: i don't understand those who will post thier faces here but not their breasts, for example. Why??? Half of us have breasts and breasts are pretty anonymous but faces - ah! Faces are who we are. I can't say i'd *never* post my face here but i can say that i can't see it happening anytime in the foreseeable future. I'm a teacher for gods sakes... i can't post my face here!)

Anyway. Yeh. We'll post some of these pictures. The passion and intensity and plain connectedness that lies between us won't come through, i'm sure - but there's some pretty cool pics in there nonetheless. I'm even thinking of using one or two of the pics he took of me while i was hooded to illustrate my story "Hooded" (about MS, me, and the first time we used THIS hood, actually).

Warning: The piercing pics will make a bunch of you cringe. As you might know already, we're way out on the edge with that topic. We'll be posting some of the more extreme ones to BME, i think, and other sites like that (where you get free memberships for pics). The **really** good ones we'll be keeping for ourselves. There's some stuff that belongs just between us.

Sorry to ramble but... oh god oh god oh god... it was just plain incredible between us yesterday. I have never felt so free, so open, so sexual with anyone before MS. I've never felt the deep well of my submissivness so clearly, been so focused. I've never loved anyone as i love him. He is *it* for me.
:cool:
 
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