Do any ladies know how to clean up naked midgets covered in baby oil?

Stormpucci

Really Experienced
Joined
Feb 21, 2013
Posts
159
OK - admit it - that got your attention, didn't it?

I'm sorry to disappoint you if you really do have a naked dwarf fetish. I'm probably not your guy. In fact, I'm 6'4" tall.

And in case you haven't figured this out yet, yeah - I'm a smart-ass. I had a similar add posted earlier but shockingly enough got pushed into off-topic subjects, so here I am again...

I'm in my very early forties, self-employed with my own communications consulting firm, and well - let's be honest, I'm bored. Bored and pondering misbehaviour, but let's be honest again - if we weren't misbehaving, we wouldn't be on Literotica, would we?

If you want someone to trade flirty notes with, I'm your guy. If you want to delve into deeper fantasies, desires and hidden dreams, I'm your guy. If you want to be driven to the edge of orgasmic bliss time and time again, I'm your guy.

If you want someone to pull your hair, call you a bitch and demand that you make me a sandwich while I watch the monster-truck rally on TV... I'm so totally not your guy.

I'm literate, I know the difference between to, two, and too, and I believe women are to be admired, not used.

Physically, I'm tall with blond hair and blue eyes. Yes, yes, I know that makes me sound like some sort of God - I can't help it.

Are you out there? Even if you think you MAY be out there, hit me up. I don't bite unless requested.
 
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OK - admit it - that got your attention, didn't it?

I'm sorry to disappoint you if you really do have a naked dwarf fetish. I'm probably not your guy. In fact, I'm 6'4" tall.

And in case you haven't figured this out yet, yeah - I'm a smart-ass. I had a similar add posted earlier but shockingly enough got pushed into off-topic subjects, so here I am again...

I'm in my thirties, self-employed with my own communications consulting firm, and well - let's be honest, I'm bored. Bored and pondering misbehaviour, but let's be honest again - if we weren't misbehaving, we wouldn't be on Literotica, would we?

If you want someone to trade flirty notes with, I'm your guy. If you want to delve into deeper fantasies, desires and hidden dreams, I'm your guy. If you want to be driven to the edge of orgasmic bliss time and time again, I'm your guy. If you want someone to pull your hair, call you a bitch and demand that you make me a sandwich while I watch the monster-truck rally on TV... I'm so totally not your guy.

I'm literate, I know the difference between to, two, and too, and I believe women are to be admired, not used.

Physically, I'm tall with blond hair and blue eyes. Yes, yes, I know that makes me sound like some sort of God - I can't help it.

Are you out there? Even if you think you MAY be out there, hit me up. I don't bite unless requested.

Literate? Add or ad? God or egotist?
 
Happy Monday folks. Its a desk day here in Stormpucciville.

I suppose its alsi a desk day for Peyton Manning. Wow... We have something in common!

Anyway - who wants to chat?
 
How about the difference between your and you're? Lay an lie? The correct use of whom? ;)

If your answer is yes, then hit me up sometime! :)
 
How about the difference between your and you're? Lay an lie? The correct use of whom? ;)

If your answer is yes, then hit me up sometime! :)

Nothing turns a man on more than someone who knows how to use grammar all good and stuff.

:). Its a desk week! What to do... What to do... If you have suggestions, PM me!
 
"...how to clean up naked midgets covered in baby oil?"

I've always found sulphuric acid works quite well ...and if you use enough, it works quickly.
 
Hey now... What did the midgets do to you?

I have never had sex with a midget. Then again, I'm 6'4" so I'm pretty sure I'd be breaking a few laws of physics and geometry.

Although I could always lie back and put my tongue to work... I have often said there is nothing... And I mean, NOTHING sexier than a woman on the verge of orgasm. And in the interests of science, I should see if that holds true for women of all shapes and sizes...

Hmm...
 
I wasn't going to ask but I have to. How on earth did you get baby oil on the poor midgets in the first place? Now I'm asking myself, do I really want to know the answer! It sounds like you're a very bad man. Have you no shame? Tisk tisk tisk.
 
Sapiophile !! I adore sarcasm~it takes intelligence to use it!! You, Sir, definitely got my attention.... ;)
 
As an aside, Simple Green is also used to clean Scuba Tanks.

But I don't need my midgets to be Oxygen-Clean. Just hygienic.

Happy Memorial Day! Bored? Frisky? Mildly curious to know if I'm insane? (Hint: not at all. Honest!). PM me. :)
 
As an aside, Simple Green is also used to clean Scuba Tanks.

But I don't need my midgets to be Oxygen-Clean. Just hygienic.

Happy Memorial Day! Bored? Frisky? Mildly curious to know if I'm insane? (Hint: not at all. Honest!). PM me. :)

At least you have a sense of humor :)
 
I am surprised you haven't been chastised for the sexist nature of your question... :rolleyes:
 
OK - admit it - that got your attention, didn't it?

I admit, you got me there.
I was like "of all the stupid things..."

Then I read it up and found out its just another normal guy after all.
Color me disappointed ;)
 
Just popping in quick to remind everyone the party is tonight. One of the dwarfs is turning 21 and apparently, dwarf parties are legendary.

PM me if you want details. Or are simply intrigued regardless. ;)
 
A dwarf party? Who else will be there? I've got a contract to bring a certain hobbit to Mordor.
 
I admit, you got me there.
I was like "of all the stupid things..."

Then I read it up and found out its just another normal guy after all.
Color me disappointed ;)

you had me at two, to and too...sigh!

Just wait until I explain the difference between laid and layed. You'll pass out in raw arousal. :)

I'm at my desk today... Lunch meeting was cancelled so I'm even suited up, but still bored. Pm me!
 
Fun fact... If Hillary becomes President, it will be the first time in history that two presidents have had sex with each other. This is, of course, assuming there were no closeted gay lovers in history. (This is also, of course, assuming Hillary has ever touched Bill in a sexual way. I'm not convinced.) :rolleyes:

Other fun fact - I'm at my desk today. PM me if you want to chat. :devil:
 
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