in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
That is a non linear thought
Tell a Joke
- Thread starter in_oral_office
- Start date
That is a non linear thought
eclecticlynx
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2005
- Posts
- 164
meh!
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything"....
He give the vendor a 20, and the guy puts it in his pocket. the Buddhist asks "What about my change?"
The vendor replies " Change must come from within"....
LOL!
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything"....
He give the vendor a 20, and the guy puts it in his pocket. the Buddhist asks "What about my change?"
The vendor replies " Change must come from within"....
LOL!
Joeybagadonuts
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 6, 2010
- Posts
- 9,202
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
My wife’s she’s no prize. On her first date I asked her if I could kiss her on the cheek; she bent over.
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size)
She’s so fat 2 guys could fuck her at the same time and never meet.
She was so ugly that she looks like she came second in a hatchet fight.
And our sex life; we do it doggie style; I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.
The other day a girl called me up and said come on over nobody is home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.
I came from a real tough neighborhood.
In the library the sign says "shut the f..k up"!
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
My wife’s she’s no prize. On her first date I asked her if I could kiss her on the cheek; she bent over.
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size)
She’s so fat 2 guys could fuck her at the same time and never meet.
She was so ugly that she looks like she came second in a hatchet fight.
And our sex life; we do it doggie style; I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.
The other day a girl called me up and said come on over nobody is home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.
I came from a real tough neighborhood.
In the library the sign says "shut the f..k up"!
ElizaW
Str8 Southern Sass
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2010
- Posts
- 29,317
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying, "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart."
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying, "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart."
Joeybagadonuts
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 6, 2010
- Posts
- 9,202
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not Belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand as souls are added. This gives two. Possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Teresa Ashley Smith during my Freshman year, " ... that it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you. ", and take into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and will not freeze. " The student received the only "A" given.
engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not Belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand as souls are added. This gives two. Possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Teresa Ashley Smith during my Freshman year, " ... that it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you. ", and take into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and will not freeze. " The student received the only "A" given.
Joeybagadonuts
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 6, 2010
- Posts
- 9,202
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not Belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand as souls are added. This gives two. Possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Teresa Ashley Smith during my Freshman year, " ... that it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you. ", and take into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and will not freeze. " The student received the only "A" given.
engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not Belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand as souls are added. This gives two. Possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Teresa Ashley Smith during my Freshman year, " ... that it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you. ", and take into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and will not freeze. " The student received the only "A" given.
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box,"Would you like to go to church
with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer
from his new pet..
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"
.... YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS .....
This time, a little voice came out of the box,
"I heard you the first time!
I'm putting on my shoes!"
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box,"Would you like to go to church
with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer
from his new pet..
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"
.... YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS .....
This time, a little voice came out of the box,
"I heard you the first time!
I'm putting on my shoes!"
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
great
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, Where in the hell have you been"?
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo".
A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
I got 2 x £50 notes on my pen!s," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred pounds tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred pounds anytime you want".
Larry is recovering in ward 23.
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo".
A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
I got 2 x £50 notes on my pen!s," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred pounds tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred pounds anytime you want".
Larry is recovering in ward 23.
ElizaW
Str8 Southern Sass
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2010
- Posts
- 29,317
I stole this from BluKitten with her permission of course.
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure out what the letters stood for. Well it's time you became informed! (A) Almost tits. (B) Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn!(E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure out what the letters stood for. Well it's time you became informed! (A) Almost tits. (B) Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn!(E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
The biggest joke at my house is the fifteen-month-old learning what no means.
*baby edges over to an electrical outlet, checks to see if Mom is looking*
*baby notices Mom watching, she shakes her head "no."*
*baby grins "evily"*
Mom says no firmly.
*baby's grin turns into a sneer, little fingers wrapping around the plug*
Mom rises to her feet, pads over to baby, and places a finger on his arm. "No."
Baby growls with laughing delight.
Mom eases baby's pudgy fingers away from the electrical plug. "No!"
Baby now scrambles, free hand blurring to pull the plug! Since when did this little person learn special moves from The Matrix?!
Mom exclaims with humored exasperation, "No! ... grr... I'ma kick you in the diaper!"
*the peanut gallery tries to stifle chuckles and fails miserably because everybody *knows* Mom's the boss*
*mom removes baby from the evil temptress electrical outlet, placing him on his feet*
*baby emphatically bites the couch, hollering his displeasure!*
*mom makes good on her threat and barely bends a toe against the backside of baby's diaper*
*peanut gallery ques up as planned*
Baby is shocked by the sudden outburst, completely unaware that he was indeed "kicked in the diaper!"
Baby laughs, displaying all of the six teeth he'd previously used as a frustration valve release.
Mom scoops him up quickly only to position him in the football hold and earnestly admit, "Poor buddy...has to grow up with so many women in the house!"
*baby edges over to an electrical outlet, checks to see if Mom is looking*
*baby notices Mom watching, she shakes her head "no."*
*baby grins "evily"*
Mom says no firmly.
*baby's grin turns into a sneer, little fingers wrapping around the plug*
Mom rises to her feet, pads over to baby, and places a finger on his arm. "No."
Baby growls with laughing delight.
Mom eases baby's pudgy fingers away from the electrical plug. "No!"
Baby now scrambles, free hand blurring to pull the plug! Since when did this little person learn special moves from The Matrix?!
Mom exclaims with humored exasperation, "No! ... grr... I'ma kick you in the diaper!"
*the peanut gallery tries to stifle chuckles and fails miserably because everybody *knows* Mom's the boss*
*mom removes baby from the evil temptress electrical outlet, placing him on his feet*
*baby emphatically bites the couch, hollering his displeasure!*
*mom makes good on her threat and barely bends a toe against the backside of baby's diaper*
*peanut gallery ques up as planned*
Baby is shocked by the sudden outburst, completely unaware that he was indeed "kicked in the diaper!"
Baby laughs, displaying all of the six teeth he'd previously used as a frustration valve release.
Mom scoops him up quickly only to position him in the football hold and earnestly admit, "Poor buddy...has to grow up with so many women in the house!"
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
A Rejoinder to ElizaW
What are the similarities between BAR & BRA
1. Both words have the same letters
2.. Both are drinking zones
3. Both have restricted timings for opening & closing
4. More importantly, Both make Men crazy when open.
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
The Jewish Samurai
There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief
samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known
world that he was searching for a chief.
A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding
position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why
he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a
matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The
bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"The emperor then
issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and
demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a
matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly
dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to
demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai
opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went
Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is
that gnat not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief
samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known
world that he was searching for a chief.
A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding
position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why
he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a
matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The
bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"The emperor then
issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and
demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a
matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly
dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to
demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai
opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went
Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is
that gnat not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
takenmytime
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Posts
- 86
Since my wife was a "J" before her reduction - 'I' is for I'm falling forward and 'J' is for Just stop staring (or laughing as the situation dictates).
ElizaW
Str8 Southern Sass
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2010
- Posts
- 29,317
Five Horses Is Her Name
This is mythical and deep.
Truly beautiful...
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered,
"It old Indian Name. It mean...
NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG
This is mythical and deep.
Truly beautiful...
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered,
"It old Indian Name. It mean...
NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
It works
piccicatopolka
gypsywitch
- Joined
- May 24, 2009
- Posts
- 5,143
Q: How many belly dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to do it and four to stand around saying, "I can do that... better."
A: Five. One to do it and four to stand around saying, "I can do that... better."
in_oral_office
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Posts
- 18,549
lovely
sweettreat601
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2011
- Posts
- 49
I like it!
Funny... very funny!
Black Irish Humor
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately
white, patriarchal society.
'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological
oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?', asked the couple.
'Because I am the artist who painted the picture,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coalminers. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.[/QUOTE]
Funny... very funny!
Black Irish Humor
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately
white, patriarchal society.
'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological
oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?', asked the couple.
'Because I am the artist who painted the picture,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coalminers. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.[/QUOTE]
shamelessZZZ
The Old Dog.
- Joined
- May 29, 2011
- Posts
- 18,755
A doctor, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older.
"Well," argued the doctor, "without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession."
"No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos. So engineering is older."
"But," chirped the triumphant politician, "who created the chaos?"
"Well," argued the doctor, "without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession."
"No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos. So engineering is older."
"But," chirped the triumphant politician, "who created the chaos?"
piccicatopolka
gypsywitch
- Joined
- May 24, 2009
- Posts
- 5,143
Hooey_rorynALT
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2011
- Posts
- 160
Hooey! 
A white guy a black man and an oriental man walk into the hospital delivery room.
The patient has a puzzled look on her face and asks: Which one of you is the doctor?
The nurse smiles and says: That's an easy question, the doctor is...
...the one with the black bag!
Hooey!
P.S. (I am rory the magnificent!)
A white guy a black man and an oriental man walk into the hospital delivery room.
The patient has a puzzled look on her face and asks: Which one of you is the doctor?
The nurse smiles and says: That's an easy question, the doctor is...
...the one with the black bag!
Hooey!
P.S. (I am rory the magnificent!)
piccicatopolka
gypsywitch
- Joined
- May 24, 2009
- Posts
- 5,143
Stephen Tweeted this for us yesterday.
"A man dressed as Gumby robbed a convenience store. Now he's in the Pokey."
http://twitter.com/StephenColbert
"A man dressed as Gumby robbed a convenience store. Now he's in the Pokey."
http://twitter.com/StephenColbert
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