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Senna Jawa

Literotica Guru
Joined
May 13, 2002
Posts
3,272
PF&B wouldn't be complete without its Little Literotica PF&B's blog. Post here everybody anytime and again..., to your heart's content, enjoy.

Senna Jawa (Włodzimierz Holsztyński)
 
tonight I realised that if you're eating spicy food, I mean ridiculously spicy food with your hands you should wash them in yoghurt before trying to use the lavatory #bitsonfire
 
todski28 said:
tonight I realised that if you're eating spicy food, I mean ridiculously spicy food with your hands you should wash them in yoghurt before trying to use the lavatory #bitsonfire
Click to expand...

LMAO, but laughing with you, not at you. Really. 😉
 
parting (wh, 1999-06-10; tr.2017-08-05)

.


parting​



you know the winter apartment's layout
the triangular route
love fridge bookshelf love

at the parking by the car
half of the spring has passed by



wh, 1999-06-10
PL->EN, 2017-08-05
​

.
.
 
todski28 said:
[...] want to thank you for sharing, and rip
Click to expand...

Todski. I am answering only now, I needed a couple days after that difficult news.

Winning a Fields Medal is an incredible achievement. And Maryam Mirzakhani was only forty years old, so young, so much should have been ahead of her. The fact that a woman won Fields medal (for the first time ever) was especially encouraging.

Maryam Mirzakhani was born on 3 May 1977 in Tehran, Iran. She lived in Iran her first twenty two years. It's just almost impossible to believe that she, a girl in a country which is hostile toward women education, that she still managed to get there her excellent education, before she moved to the USA.

Already, as a high school student in Iran, Maryam Mirzakhani won gold medal twice at International Mathematical Olimpiada, in year 1994 (41/42 pts) and year 1995 (42/42=100%).
 
L. M.

Look at my beautiful childhood friend, Ludmiła Murawska:


I don't mean the ugly looking (but nice) guy on the left. He was a well known Polish writer--indeed, a very original poet, and as you can see, an actor, and more. OK, you my check his bio:


and his poems (the English translation is in parenthesis):


And Ludmiła was a painter, and an actress too -- you could see that actually she was a wondeful actress.


That theater was unique anywhere wherever whenever:

"In 1956 Lebenstein linked up with the independent, alternative (as we would say today) Teatr na Tarczyńskiej / Tarczyńska Street Theatre, run by writer Miron Białoszewski in his Warsaw apartment. The group was more a circle of friends than a drama troupe in the real sense of the term. Core members included the poet and his friends, above all Ludmila Murawska and Ludwik Hering. Lebenstein had his first solo exhibition on Tarczyńska, [...]"


(I may write more later).
 
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Selfback

Senna Jawa said:
.


summer walk
i count
police cars rush by
​





wh,
2017-08-10​
Click to expand...

That's it. (If my English is off then let me know).

But now, is "swish by" better than "rush by"? Alone, one-on-one, as one phrase against another, sure, "swish by" is more attractive than "rush by". But would "swish by" be better for my poem?

Nope. Indeed, the "i count...swish by" phrase is not organic while "i count...rush by"--is.

(If requested, I may provide further details.)
 
Senna Jawa said:
That's it. (If my English is off then let me know).

But now, is "swish by" better than "rush by"? Alone, one-on-one, as one phrase against another, sure, "swish by" is more attractive than "rush by". But would "swish by" be better for my poem?

Nope. Indeed, the "i count...swish by" phrase is not organic while "i count...rush by"--is.

(If requested, I may provide further details.)
Click to expand...



for me swish adds an aural accompaniment to the action of the car,

but for me the use of police
adds an urgency to the car itself, it has a purpose a destination, possible danger etc, etc
so for me rush is the better fit.
 
todski28 said:
for me swish adds an aural accompaniment to the action of the car,

but for me the use of police
adds an urgency to the car itself, it has a purpose a destination, possible danger etc, etc
so for me rush is the better fit.
Click to expand...

Thus, you have supported both of my points (how nice :) ), attractiveness vs organic. I'd have more to say on the issue of organic (it's only natural that we have some different things to say).
 
Senna Jawa said:
Thus, you have supported both of my points (how nice :) ), attractiveness vs organic. I'd have more to say on the issue of organic (it's only natural that we have some different things to say).
Click to expand...


feel free would be interested in learning
 
todski28 said:
feel free would be interested in learning
Click to expand...
Thank you, todski.

----------------------------------

We've agreed that "swish by" is sensual, which is great. What would it contribute to the whole poem? Well, we may feel worried that police cars might accidentally strike an innocent pedestrian. One could dwell on such a freaky potential a little more but there is really not much to it.

Actually, I had "a car swished by" by a lyrical subject, at night, in a longer poem years ago. It was just a car from nowhere. Then it was meaningful. It has contributed to the mood, it would (perhaps) make you think about the destiny and how fragile everything is, and you'd also feel that the lyrical subject didn't care about all this or anything including himself. Here, with the police cars, the poetic effect would be severely limited. The accidental swishing (a near accident) and the purposeful police cars is not an organic combination. The info about police would have a very limited poetic potential (sure, something about awful randomness but it'd be too obvious and not terribly meaningful).

As it is in the poem ("rushing by"), this time the phrase "i count" has its weight. This time the lyrical subject is not concerned about himself but vaguely worries about some people (friends, relatives, ...) who have their home or apt or similar, somewhere there, toward which the police cars are getting nearer. If you have lived long enough then perhaps you know this feeling. One feels quite hopeless in such situations and can only hope for the best.

-----------------------------------
PS. For the sake of convenience:




summer walk
i count
police cars rush by
​





wh,
2017-08-10​

-----------
 
Last edited:
Senna Jawa said:
Thank you, todski.

----------------------------------

We've agreed that "swish by" is sensual, which is great. What would it contribute to the whole poem? Well, we may feel worried that police cars might accidentally strike an innocent pedestrian. One could dwell on such a freaky potential a little more but there is really not much to it.

Actually, I had "a car swished by" by a lyrical subject, at night, in a longer poem years ago. It was just a car from nowhere. Then it was meaningful. It has contributed to the mood, it would (perhaps) make you think about the destiny and how fragile everything is, and you'd also feel that the lyrical subject didn't care about all this or anything including himself. Here, with the police cars, the poetic effect would be severely limited. The accidental swishing (a near accident) and the purposeful police cars is not an organic combination. The info about police would have a very limited poetic potential (sure, something about awful randomness but it'd be too obvious and not terribly meaningful).

As it is in the poem ("rushing by"), this time the phrase "i count" has its weight. This time the lyrical subject is not concerned about himself . but vaguely worries about some people (friends, relatives, ...) who have their home or apt or similar, somewhere there, toward which the police cars are getting nearer. If you have lived long enough then perhaps you know this feeling. One feels quite hopeless in such situations and can only hope for the best.

-----------------------------------
PS. For the sake of convenience:




summer walk
i count
police cars rush by
​





wh,
2017-08-10​

-----------
Click to expand...



a better and more in depth look at my take from the poem, sounds and meanings, thanks senna
 
Senna Jawa said:
Thus, you have supported both of my points (how nice :) ), attractiveness vs organic. I'd have more to say on the issue of organic (it's only natural that we have some different things to say).
Click to expand...

I am very puzzled by the use of 'organic' in reference to writing - in general, not your specific use - and would love to hear others' take on it. What does it really mean? Natural? Unforced? Why/how organic?

Help!?!
 
winding down

.



after a sleepless night
at 7am
my gaze
through an open window
rests on the green hills
moves to the loud street below
my old city acts young
i am always young
while winding down
it's time​








wh,
2017-08-15​
 
legerdemer said:
[...] puzzled by the use of 'organic' [...] others [...]
Help!?!
Click to expand...

About three days and a half have passed since legerdemer called -others- for help, while legermeder and todski are interested in the topic. Thus, without any further delay, we may start discussing the organic notion by looking at the first two lines of a recent poem by todski:

I am gears grinding against
the lemon tang of myself​

(Everything is optional at LitLog).
 
Senna Jawa said:
About three days and a half have passed since legerdemer called -others- for help, while legermeder and todski are interested in the topic. Thus, without any further delay, we may start discussing the organic notion by looking at the first two lines of a recent poem by todski:

I am gears grinding against
the lemon tang of myself​

(Everything is optional at LitLog).
Click to expand...

aww man, why would you use anything of mine?

now I have to actually think about what I'm doing and why.
 
whining aside,

to me the whole opening is abstract, lending itself to varied interpretation and also being dismissed as something that makes no sense.

gears can grind against eachother

But what is the lemon tang of self?

it is not organic it is abstraction with no real definitive meaning
if gears were grinding against gears
in a clock that was losing second that is more organic a natural logical progression of thought and the way in which the world works.

now depending on where you sit it may entice you read on to figure out what is attempting to be conveyed

or

secondly it may make you quit right there because what is being said doesn't make sense.

at least my thoughts on it from as objective as I can be.
 
todski28 said:
whining aside,

to me the whole opening is abstract, lending itself to varied interpretation and also being dismissed as something that makes no sense.

gears can grind against eachother

But what is the lemon tang of self?

it is not organic it is abstraction with no real definitive meaning
if gears were grinding against gears
in a clock that was losing second that is more organic a natural logical progression of thought and the way in which the world works.

now depending on where you sit it may entice you read on to figure out what is attempting to be conveyed

or

secondly it may make you quit right there because what is being said doesn't make sense.

at least my thoughts on it from as objective as I can be.
Click to expand...

Lol, and I thought it made a statement.

Gears = clock/machine
Lemon = sour/tart

So to me, knowing what we know of you from your previous poetry, it formed an impression of a man sour about the passing of time, of aging and possibly losing his sexual prowess, or feeling the importance of such, slipping away with the time.

To me rather than it being a nonsense start, it was a semi-profound self realization/doubt statement and with that interpretation of those first two lines gave greater depth to the rest of the piece by including the sense of taste into the piece. Like when we say, I want it so bad I can taste it, here he feels it so profoundly he can taste it.

I would also class it organic, for we are organic machines :D

Edit: to me organic would be words that convey feeling and add depth to meaning, while attractive would be words that sound nice but add little or no feeling or meaning.
 
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