Distance Domination-Support Thread

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if he can get acess to a computer then yahoo and aim both have programs that you can use to im that dont require downloads. its made for library computers, work, anywhere you cant install the program. it doesnt have voice or video, btu you can im. as long as you have internet, no matter what computer its on

MSN has the same thing, its web messenger, they run the programme through a web browser.

Doesn't have all the features of the full programme, but it has enough.
 
No phone, no text, no chat, no emails... Ugh! This really, really sucks. I miss him so much :( And I cannot even begin planning my move to join him until the new year.

Any tips/suggestions for cheap communication over seas? He is in England now and I am still stuck in California. Internet seems the best but that requires him buying a computer which is not a great option at the moment. *sigh*


I buy phone cards and call Jounar. I buy them from sprint. A $20 phone card gives me about 530 mins or so. Seems to be the cheapest way to do things short of email, IM and internet phone.

I love him so much. He kept me smiling all the way until I got on the plane this morning, even as tears were welling in his eyes. :heart: He wouldn't let me cry at all. Last night as I lay in his arms, tears unable to hold back, he kisses me on the top of my head and simply says "this is your last night here, you shouldn't be crying. You should be shagging me" *giggles*

He doesn't like to use the word perfect, but I don't know how else to discribe it. It just felt like I had been there for so much longer than 3 weeks. The entire time I felt like I just belonged there. Now we're waiting to see how things look for a march visit, and deffo look into what I can do to get something longer term.
 
I love him so much. He kept me smiling all the way until I got on the plane this morning, even as tears were welling in his eyes. :heart: He wouldn't let me cry at all. Last night as I lay in his arms, tears unable to hold back, he kisses me on the top of my head and simply says "this is your last night here, you shouldn't be crying. You should be shagging me" *giggles*

He doesn't like to use the word perfect, but I don't know how else to discribe it. It just felt like I had been there for so much longer than 3 weeks. The entire time I felt like I just belonged there. Now we're waiting to see how things look for a march visit, and deffo look into what I can do to get something longer term.

im so happy things went well for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
No phone, no text, no chat, no emails... Ugh! This really, really sucks. I miss him so much :( And I cannot even begin planning my move to join him until the new year.

Any tips/suggestions for cheap communication over seas? He is in England now and I am still stuck in California. Internet seems the best but that requires him buying a computer which is not a great option at the moment. *sigh*

I want to say that virgin mobile has pretty good rates for text/sms communication to the UK. Not sure though. I'll talk to a British ex-pat friend of mine to see if he knows something, as he maintained an LTR with his now-wife here in the States.
 
if he can get acess to a computer then yahoo and aim both have programs that you can use to im that dont require downloads. its made for library computers, work, anywhere you cant install the program. it doesnt have voice or video, btu you can im. as long as you have internet, no matter what computer its on

Thanks for that advice. We do use the built in chat feature in Gmail. No downloading required. But this only works when he can make it to the library and when the library's internet is functional. Currently it is broken with no ETA on a repair. >.<

I want to say that virgin mobile has pretty good rates for text/sms communication to the UK. Not sure though. I'll talk to a British ex-pat friend of mine to see if he knows something, as he maintained an LTR with his now-wife here in the States.

Virgin Mobile. Right. I will look into that option. Thanks. And if your British friend has any suggestions I'd appreciate you passing it along :)


I buy phone cards and call Jounar. I buy them from sprint. A $20 phone card gives me about 530 mins or so. Seems to be the cheapest way to do things short of email, IM and internet phone.

Phone cards are my thought too. Heh, now if only he had a phone! He does not even have a land line yet. I am hoping he will be able to get one soon. I am going crazy.
And I am glad your visit went so well *hugs* Heres hopin' you get another trip very soon.
 
Phone cards are my thought too. Heh, now if only he had a phone! He does not even have a land line yet. I am hoping he will be able to get one soon. I am going crazy.
And I am glad your visit went so well *hugs* Heres hopin' you get another trip very soon.


Try ebay for phones, ebay.co.uk even, always some good deals there.

I know in Dublin you can get a sim card for free from just about anywhere. 20 euro lasts a really long time when I'm the one calling him, and O2 does free text if you top up to 20 euro or over you get free text (with in the country I think). But while I was there I got an O2 sim card, so I'm going to set it up and he'll have a local number that he can text me.

Tmobile charges me 15 cents for every text I send him. It does add up, but we don't text a whole lot, mostly because of that. I also saw phone cards there that said "US 4 cents a min"...of course that's in Euro, but it's still not terrible.
 
Try ebay for phones, ebay.co.uk even, always some good deals there.

I know in Dublin you can get a sim card for free from just about anywhere. 20 euro lasts a really long time when I'm the one calling him, and O2 does free text if you top up to 20 euro or over you get free text (with in the country I think). But while I was there I got an O2 sim card, so I'm going to set it up and he'll have a local number that he can text me.

Tmobile charges me 15 cents for every text I send him. It does add up, but we don't text a whole lot, mostly because of that. I also saw phone cards there that said "US 4 cents a min"...of course that's in Euro, but it's still not terrible.

Being able to text again would be wonderful. I miss that a lot. But talking would be the best (aside from actually being there). I will gladly look into all these options. Thanks for the advice :cattail:
 
Being able to text again would be wonderful. I miss that a lot. But talking would be the best (aside from actually being there). I will gladly look into all these options. Thanks for the advice :cattail:

No problem. :)

Having been there, now I have a bit better idea of what you can get there, and what the best options are. But after 3 years, I had a fairly good idea anyway.
 
It is a hard night.

It has been two weeks since he left... Twelve more weeks before my divorce is final so we can get married. My best RL friend has abandoned me because I am moving and she is just the type to distance herself... My ex (whom I still live with, sadly) is being a jerk. He promised to be there and be my friend but he treats me like... like an ex-wife. I am left feeling so utterly alone. I cannot contact my boy to get the comfort of love (although I do have hopes for a chat in the morning). And I am horrible at making friends -- especially since I am leaving California as soon as possible. Besides, I do not really want to spend time with anyone but my boy.

How do you all deal with the loneliness of the distance? I am not talking about filling the hours... I have enough hobbies. I mean the loneliness. The need for human contact. The craving for laughter and stimulating conversation.
 
I'm having a hard time tonight myself. It's the first day I haven't heard his voice since I left. :( But we're both back to work now, so that' going to mean fewer ops to talk or chat. *sigh*

I don't know that you ever get over the loneliness, you just sort of learn how to ignore it. Keeping busy is what I tend to do. Maybe not the healthiest thing, but then I've always been better at surpressing than dealing with emotions.
 
I'm having a hard time tonight myself. It's the first day I haven't heard his voice since I left. :( But we're both back to work now, so that' going to mean fewer ops to talk or chat. *sigh*

I don't know that you ever get over the loneliness, you just sort of learn how to ignore it. Keeping busy is what I tend to do. Maybe not the healthiest thing, but then I've always been better at surpressing than dealing with emotions.

*hugs*
Not hearing his voice is a big part of my problem. I have not heard his voice in nearly two weeks. Well, I do have a recording he made before he left but it is so not the same. Hopefully, he will have the phone situation fixed this weekend so we can at least have the possibility of talking.

Keeping busy is the only advice I seem to get... it works, to an extent. But I am a very emotional person. There are days I just need to cry and vent and have the comfort of human touch. Basically, I need a hug.
 
Keeping busy is the only advice I seem to get... it works, to an extent. But I am a very emotional person. There are days I just need to cry and vent and have the comfort of human touch. Basically, I need a hug.
<Hug>
<Hug>
<Hug>
<Hug>
 
Since there are 174 pages on this thread, has anyone talked about establishing a D/s relationship over the web? I live in a small town with little chance of finding a 's' here. Could one establish a D/s using the internet?
If this question has be asked/answered before, I am sorry. If not, I could use some help.
 
Since there are 174 pages on this thread, has anyone talked about establishing a D/s relationship over the web? I live in a small town with little chance of finding a 's' here. Could one establish a D/s using the internet?
If this question has be asked/answered before, I am sorry. If not, I could use some help.

Online only or online with the intent to turn into "real" life?

Either way, I would say it is definitely possible. I, personally, met my boy online. I also live in a small town (plus I dislike local boys) so looking beyond with the aid of the internet was perfect. We found each other and connected online, established our relationship, our dynamic, and then met in person. We opted to live together... and circumstances have pulled us apart again. Temporarily.

Regardless of the type of relationship (online only or beyond) I believe the key is understanding what you want exactly and being able to articulate it so you can find the best suited match. Once you find someone... communication and trust are important. Of course, that is true of any relationship.
 
Since there are 174 pages on this thread, has anyone talked about establishing a D/s relationship over the web? I live in a small town with little chance of finding a 's' here. Could one establish a D/s using the internet?
If this question has be asked/answered before, I am sorry. If not, I could use some help.

A significant portion of the folks posting here met their significant other on the net. Many have still not met that person face to face. Case in point is Captian's Wench. She started a relationship with Journar some three years ago, and they just met face to face for the first time less than a month ago.
 
A significant portion of the folks posting here met their significant other on the net. Many have still not met that person face to face. Case in point is Captian's Wench. She started a relationship with Journar some three years ago, and they just met face to face for the first time less than a month ago.

I left there one week ago today.

*sigh* :(

Here's hoping for an early spring.
 
How do you guys cope with the LD factor?

Honest question, because I just don't know if I'm strong enough to hack it.

And I guess I don't want that fact to limit my choices, my search for my someone special.
 
How do you guys cope with the LD factor?

Honest question, because I just don't know if I'm strong enough to hack it.

And I guess I don't want that fact to limit my choices, my search for my someone special.


It's hard, extreamly hard. And not being able to deal with the distance is one of the main reasons most LDRs don't work. I know it's what caused most disputes when Jounar and I were a young couple.

When we started out, I don't think either one of us expected me to ever be able to be there in the flesh, so we opted to let each other have some freedom with in our relationship and continue to date others while we kept our bond. Love doesn't know distance, unfortunitly practicality does. Opening things up like that does have it's issues. I'm one of those people who are just wired to be able to love more than one person at a time, he's not and doesn't fully understand how any one could. But when it became clear that I would get to visit, things changed and we decided that we wouldn't play out side of us anymore, and now that I've been there and been with him, any remnits of desire to do so are gone.

It takes a lot of dedication and understanding. It's not uncommon for Jounar and I to go a day or two, some times more, with out any contact. There are only so many hours in the day, and a 5 hour time diffence cuts those hours even further. There's work, commutes, meals, grooming, down time, and sleep not to mention the all to important human contact to fit into a day...plus you. Matching schedules can be difficult.

There is this philosophy that "distance is only an issue if you make it one", and I see the validity in it. I mean, if you want something bad enough you'll make it work, but in the end, you have to cut something some where, and work/food/sleep you can only cut so much before more serious issues occure than "OMG I haven't spoken to you in 12 hours!"

This is all very hard for me right now, after just spending 9 days nustled under his arm. It's as much a reminder to me at the moment, as it is sharing my experience and advice.

In all honesty, I would have never gone out searching for a LDR and if we had been in a place where he first aproached me, or I him, with the intention of forming a relationship, I would have dismissed all posibilities based on the distance. But like a lot of relationships, this happened by accedent and was totally unexpected. But what a happy accedent.
 
How do you guys cope with the LD factor?

Honest question, because I just don't know if I'm strong enough to hack it.

And I guess I don't want that fact to limit my choices, my search for my someone special.

I questioned my LDR with my boyfriend alot in the last couple of weeks, but we had a huge talk last sunday and now I'm not doubting it.

It's hard, but if you care enough, you'll make it work.
 
A significant portion of the folks posting here met their significant other on the net. Many have still not met that person face to face. Case in point is Captian's Wench. She started a relationship with Journar some three years ago, and they just met face to face for the first time less than a month ago.

uhh... and us. :p
 
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