Dear X:

Dear X (including Y & Z)

Please would you stop excavating my left knee ?
It's currently getting excessive and it hurts.
 
Dear French unions X, Y and Z

Please do not go on strike, blocking the Channel Ports or Autoroutes while I'm on holiday in France.

I know that irritating Perfidious Albion is popular, but it has no impact on your own Government or your employers, both of whom are happy for the British to take the pain.

Og
 
Dear X,

You claimed it was about 'professionalism'. It wasn't and you know it.

It was bullying. You tried to interfere with my personal opinions using the power of our former friendship and professional relationship.

That's way out of line.
 
Not very original
10/10/10 By: Anonymous
There's lots of stories on this site with the same story line. You need to come up with something original.

Let's face it, Anon. There are 22,417 stories in the Incest/Taboo category. With that many, there are bound to be some stories that have some things in common with others. :(
 
Dear hubby,

I know that you mean well, but can you grow some balls every once in a while? I'm a little tired of having a ten year old asking me crazy questions and then saying "I asked daddy but he told me to ask you." I still love you though!

-Bell.
 
Dear Flatmate X

I am writing to congratulate you on having such a marvellous intellect. To be a lawyer, historian, scientist and literary critic all at the same time at the tender age of 20 is something to be applauded.

In particular, I would like to congratulate you on your household management skills, which superbly leave the dishes unwashed, undried and not put away, the carpet crawling with god knows what, and the bin overflowing onto the floor. I have attempted to assist you be doing all of the shopping, working out weekly finance, buying and assembling furniture for the house, and cooking every single fucking meal we have eaten in the last month.

You personal skills are a paragon of virtue, and are remarked upon by everyone who comes to visit. They all say what a modest, quiet and considered hash you make of every sentence in the english language.

Hope that this has brightened your day,
Flatmate Q

P.S. THINK FIRST, THEN OPEN YOUR FUCKING TRAP!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ms X,

I would like to know how two years of buying you fucking drinks, pandering to your every need, and letting you walk all over me makes me a bad person.

I would also like to know how a comment saying 'looking good' on a facebook photo qualifies me to burn next to Hitler and James Moriarty

Regards,
Former Mat Q

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, this really works, doesn't it?
 
pervs
10/17/10 By: Anonymous
Wtf is wrong with u ppl

I don't know of anything that's wrong with me. I like to write dirty stories, including this one about incest between a father and daughter. :)

Now, wft is wrong with u that you come here and read dirty stories about incest between a father and daughter? :eek:
 
Dear X,

will you please pack in the talking to me like I'm a retarded seven-year old ? I mean, if you really don't want me to have my usual 20mG pills, why not give me the 10mG for a bit longer than a week. After all if it can take 6 weeks for them to work, one might safely assume it takes that long to come off them - no ?

And the alternative 'happy pill' ? why an anti-psychotic? Am I that ill ?

Go away and let me have my old pills back please. Then I'll get out of your hair and you'll be well out of mine !
 
Dear X,
How did this morning's hangover compare to yesterday's? The day before that? The day before that? How many days in the last six months did you not wake up with a hangover?
j
 
Dear X,

Your contant critisism is getting old. I am not listening anymore.
Stop being a dream killer.
:kiss:

Guenivere
 
Dear X

Please will you pray to the Deity of your choice that the tests I'm to have in the near future do not indicate some form of throat cancer.
I am frightened almost witless.
And yes, I do not smoke!
 
Dear X:

I don't think it is unreasonable to not want the snake fed his slimy, disgusting and otherwise nasty previously frozen mouse on my bed. Obviously, he didn't either, as he left it lying there and went crawling towards freedom and having to be untangled from the bedframe. THAT is why I ut him, and his mouse, back in his cage. He can eat there without being disturbed, and won't get lost while doing it.

Stop fucking with my animals. I know how to handle them.

Thanks:

FtF
 
Dear X and Y:
Shut your freakin' mouths! You add nothing.
You talk and talk and never say anything. :rollseyes:
Tired of listening, tired of even trying to respond. Bleh.

Fuck way off. :kiss:

Thanks! :)
 
Dear X:

Fall into grace, fall into fear
Fall into the grey spaces of the year
Fall, because running is too hard
And flying is only for angels and birds
There's so many ways to fall
When you dance on the edge of a blade
So many ways to trip yourself up
When you're really nothing more than a dream
I'm nobody's shadow, I used to be someone's wings
I used to be the one they sent to find the hidden things
But now I'm just the one who falls
Into the autumn flames
Fall into smoke, fall into the night
Fall into the places between the streetlights
Fall, because there's no net to catch you
And everyone should be able to die
There's always a place to land
When you step off the edge of the world
Always another wind
Looking for a scream of its own
I'm not willing to be Jesus
Judas was always more my speed
Fall into the dark like silver
Scattering the last drops of light
And let me drown.
 
Dear X

Please will you pray to the Deity of your choice that the tests I'm to have in the near future do not indicate some form of throat cancer.
I am frightened almost witless.
And yes, I do not smoke!


HUGS!

not currently smoking
 
Dear coworker,

If you don't want to get in trouble with management over not doing your job properly, maybe you should do your job properly.

Just saying.

~sincerely,
me

(PS: You should know that I had some choice comments to our manager about the difference between people who are invested in doing their jobs correctly, and people that aren't. Yes, it's official; I've reneged on my previous position. I am, actively, trying to get you fired.)

- - - - - -



Dear X,

No. No, stop it. Stop it. We've been over this before. Seriously. Yes, she's cute, and yes, you're desperate, but neither of those things makes it a good idea.

Her Facebook page has more Bible quotes on it than all the other things combined. That's a bad sign and you know it, especially since one of your stated goals for your next relationship is to get laid for once in your life. And look at the graduation year! You had your college diploma before she entered high school. That might work if she was in her late twenties, but she doesn't have a college diploma yet. That's likely to be a poor foundation for... well, just about anything.

And besides, you're the one always complaining about people saying you're a pedophile. Whether it's true or not, you aren't helping your case by contemplating this sort of cradle-robbing.

Get over it and try someone else.

sincerely,
~your self
 
Last edited:
Dear x,

You forgot my birthday, didn't you.

Sincerely,
the year older good little witch.
 
Dear X,

So you woke up with a hard-on this morning and thought of me.

That used to make me feel good. Now it’s just an insult for every letter I’ve ever sent you that’s gone ignored because you don’t like the subject matter or you just can’t be fucked answering.

And this pall or depression that has hung over me the entire year from thinking about you, wanting you, missing you . . . it’s not as if those feelings are returned. So why am I wasting my time writing to you, thinking of you, wanting an emotional cripple who will never give me what I want even though the voice of eternal hope in me tells me not to give up no matter the cost to myself.

And what has the cost been?

Frantic fucking masturbation to the point of ridiculousness, thinking I'm mentally ill, and ultimately untold frustration. I want you inside me not some piece of plastic. I want to sleep at night being held by you. I want you to be mine, not a surrogate boyfriend on loan from a fucked up and twisted relationship of tolerant existence.

Prior to meeting you these needs were always there, but now they’re inflated, exaggerated, risen to such prominence in my mind I feel as if I’m lifeless without this fulfilment. Before I was simply existing. Now I’m dying.

Total and utter distraction from everything important, placing so much meaning on these meaningless words you send me. Love X you sign off, as if that has any relevance to anyone, especially between us when I know you don’t mean it. You want my body and the promise of all those fantasies come true. You don't want me. And the unfairness of blaming you for my own procrastination, a problem that gets larger and more insurmountable every year of my life. Case in point: Writing this when I should be doing my assignment.

And the truth is, even though I go along with you in these perverted fantasies, that’s just another facet of me, subjugating myself to some man’s wishes, thinking he’ll love me if I let him do these things, things I don’t want for myself, not deep in my heart. I want to be loved not punished. I WANT TO SEE YOU. Fourteen thousand kilometres. I hate, Hate, HATE this tyranny of distance.

Or I want what I’ve always wanted when I’m touched by a man incapable of loving me back – to cut out the offending, painful part of me that feels.

So take my limbs X, just leave me my guarded heart. Let me heal in peace.
x
 
Dear X, You whoring son's of bitches who put my children and I out on the street,

How the fuck do you sleep at night?

Yes, I have my keys back but I'm gunning for you. I'm still pursuing you through the courts and I'll have the money back that you've stolen. You're on the back foot now, bending over backwards to appease me because YOU KNOW you're in the wrong.

The judge will eat you for breakfast and I'll be there to feast on the remains.

I look forward to it.

x

See you in court
 
Dear X,

When someone who is not even a part of my life, a nobody who lives nowhere, can dehumanise, objectify, and degrade me in fiction (at a time when I am already vulnerable) to the point of making me cry myself to sleep in real life, something has to give.

You have the wrong woman. I am not this person. I don’t want these sick things for myself. I don’t want to be disrespected and abused, treated like an unimportant piece of faecal matter under your shoe, treated like this:
“Opinions are like orgasms.
Mine's more important and I don't give a fuck if she has one.”
Funny huh? Except when it's real.

You say you wouldn’t be capable of this in real life but you’ve convinced me otherwise. I’m just the focus for all that misogynistic hate seething inside you. Or, let’s face it, you only use me for cheap thrills. You really don’t give a fuck what I think or feel. I got it partially right with ‘Heartless’ except I should have added ‘Soulless’ as well.

I’m done with this. I'm done with you.

x
 
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