all of a sudden passion suddenly

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from the tv
picture perfect faces
pearly white smiles
shines like fresnel floodlights
into my bland boring livingroom

it gives me
the strangest satisfaction
to sit there in my mundane temple
in my pale palace of everything unglamorous

and give them the finger
 
woman things

plural
joined at the hip
on fire
fuel for pointing face
at sky and never a sideways
view apart

the sound of a band aid ripping
arm hair is the sound last
morning,
she screamed my name aloud
then his, and again
the argument for free love
is still with the jury

they drink tea, green
moss tea with sea monkeys
they coagulate regular
they confer
they play old scratchy
and hum along
they enjoy the sun
heating the underside
of chin
 
My hubby got a buzz cut
just for me so I could feel
what otherwise would be
forbidden fruit

palms tickle against the scruff
that blends up into prickles
and softness only half an inch
sitting up on top

oh so many soldiers
sexy camo-clad warriors
have made this woman hot
off in foreign lands being noble

I want to welcome them home
on the docks in San Diego
hands outstretched
soldier boy please
let me touch your head
 
if I didn't
sit and sip
and sat with empty glass

would the empty
inside rattle
grow quiet on its own
 
Zig zag
passionless
I move
like so many times before
through the thick smelly flood
of Monday morning's
forest of zombies
inspiring or mimicking
my own
passionless
zig zag

Tick tock
relentless
my watch goes on
reminding me
of foolish promises
and obligations
driving me and the zombie flood
of Monday morning
on towards the week
in a mellow marching
to the rythm of that
relentless
tick tock

Tap tap
unconsciuos
my index finger
taps four little digits
that I could type in my sleep
but never recite
when I am lost in the
longing for
that salvation
sweet poison
the caffeine fix
that will soothe my nerves
kill my zombie
and set me free
as the gate to
my nine to five Limbo
opens in response to my
unconsciuos
tap tap

---
Early meeting with my publisher reminded me of past days...
I am SO glad that I have left the treadmill Office Space life behind me. :)
(edited for typos in this comment...)
 
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angling

fisher man’s prayer
on the end of his line
is the end of the line
for the fish

quickest route, straight line
no detours around circumferences
no attempt to finitely define pi
mathematicians plot and graph
and life is a horizontal
vertical
radical perfect equation

like 16 having 2
square roots
firmly plotted fours
I’m positve
that at least one
is negative
 
sweaty wreck
outta breath
balancing a big green ball

tripping over
my rubbery legs
on the way to
subarb transport

flashing light
red not blue
and you

all rugged and fine
in that uniform

"hey suugggah"
"hello beautifull"
puuuuuuuuuuuRRRRRR

Flash
back to reality
except for your room
in my mind
 
there she was
one among seven
squirming wet and warm
snuggled up next
to her mama's breast

just a month or so later
fluff ball running in the yard
teaching me to love a dog

silly wet tongue on my face
loving me silly
and blond fluffy hair
framed her black Shepard face

Scout was the were-dog
spinning around and growling
inside she was laughing
at how she freaked me out
watching me jump
up on the couch

I was angry
that the sun came up today
and the birds were singing
it should have been
a day of mourning
but all I mourn is my loss of her
her spirit is free
from her old wise dog body

and those gentle brown eyes
will be sorely missed
how she smiled with them
and promised with them
that she was my girl

good bye sweet one

scout 3/7/92-10/09/03
 
it's always funny how the mind
can capture and imprison
a thought
a feeling
a fear
and wrap it tight within a color
stored away inside my head
deep within synapses and cells

which independently know nothing
clusters and groups and pockets
of wealth
and wonder
and whys in multitude
make me think of you

and the lemon scented strains
of your voice
making love to mine
no sound equals no joy
no words equal no life
please never stop
singing to me
with your feelings
you make me feel alive
 
my life is just a little
zoloft fantasy
lost in the cobwebs
of my aching brain
blue will teach me how to feel
and what not to feel
and that feels so good
now I know
what I need to know
isn’t wrong
and what I thought
I felt for so long
was never wrong
for me
just stop looking
inside my head
the girl that lived there
is on vacation
not dead
 
I'm bored as hell

hell hath no furry scorned women
and hell hath no porn
and no beer
and no football
and no blowjobs

it's hot there, I've been told
fuck it, I like heat
but I don't drink
and football rocks
my world

strong men chasing little brown balls
sacking the quarterback
I could be a player
but I'm a girl
with a big mouth
and not-so-big muscles
except where it counts

and if the devil ever was
as wicked as people say
then why is hell so boring?


adios, gone to watch football<WEG>
 
For Lin

Could you be my remedy
Come closer
Let me see the light
behind your eye
and the fire
in your vein
Come closer
let me touch
the boldness of your smile
so wide and brilliant
Always so easily
making me feel
small and stupid
in a way that
makes me love
every minute of silly
and every second
of unimpotrant

Come over here
and let me grow
small with you
knowing that
the infant in me has a mother
the little boy a sister
the man a lover
a companion
a guide
and always the same
structure and safety
that my own inner light
could never provide
 
Re: For Lin

:heart:
Here's one back to ya, baby

For Is.

Put another kettle on
and settle down beside me
take off your shoes
and curl up in my arms

And there we travel
in silence, green tea
and the flickering open
flames of the fireplace
that cost us too much

Side by side we travel
page by page we fly
you in Brodsky, Poe
or cheezy junk
science fiction
and me in comics,
Shakespeare or
whatever caught my eye

You turn a page
lean back on me
and I close my book
knowing that I can't
travel anymore

Because when you lean
and rest your head
on my shoulder
i travel with you
at lightspeed already
 
Your touch...
Drives me nuts
Your smell...
Sends me spinning
Your eyes...
I get lost
 
Stumble

With horrible timing
and terrible ideas
Clumsy me
stumbles merrily in

Last year's fashion
Last week's hair
Last hour's attitude
But the clumsy me
simply don't care

Wrong approach
Wrong thoughts
and a sense of tact
so out of synch
with your marching drum
that it almost hits a new
fascinator groove

Clumsy Me cut
through your Perfecta
with an ugly duckling mind
disrupting, disturbing
your well groomed,
carefully carved conversation.

Sowing a seed of
imbalance and disorder
Clumsy Me says too much
and laughs too loud
before taking a clumsy bow
and leave a conversational
mess behind

It will take hours
to clean up the verbal mishaps
of Clumsy Me
and the clumsy concepts
that stained your Perfecta

Did I ever even apologize?
Not?
Clumsy Me...
 
flurries of woe

ack!
hunch your back
and bow to the sideways sting
of cold cloud flotsam

too soon
they sigh
too soon
they cry

blue under gray sky
 
read
fed
hurt
head
drinking
wine
not
thinking
getting
better
feeling
fine

:D

hiya *cat* :rose:
 
Running

looking for peace

stigmatized

closed minds

open eyes

The truth is so plain
hidden under the mask
the face I apply everyday

Yes to no
so no one knows
I don't want this
can't help that

the truth is so plain
beyond the mask
to afraid to ask
nobody wants these answers
especially me.


but damn the truth
for being so plain
 
LOVE TAP

Split lip
black eye
the taste of blood
love tap

Bruised knuckles
clenched fist
love tap

broken arm
contusions
tears
anger confusion
screams
the language of our love


on the ground
boots kicking
back
stomach
chest
thighs
love tap

ambulances
sirens
blue and red
black and blue
fading yellow bruises
permanent scars
love tap

oval sunglasses to cover eyes
a little make up
carefully applied foundation
of lies
love tap
 
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