Writing Erotica: The Secret Hobby

I don't keep my writing secret. But I don't write all erotica either.
 
As of now, four people on this planet know I'm currently writing erotica. My wife is not one of them, and based on the contents of the stories I'm working on, she really doesn't need to be a part of it.
 
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My wife thinks I'm working on a Sci-Fi novel, which is a half-truth. My family would wonder when I grew a second head. I would love to have a close friend with whom I could discuss what I've written, but that becomes a parallel to the unprotected sex chain idea. Not only am I telling them, I'm telling everyone they might tell, and everyone they might tell...

Few friends + trust issues = isolation.

So I'm glad to be meeting people here on Lit. I know here that's one thing I don't have to hide.
 
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I am very upfront about what I write (as far as it being erotica, I don't always mention most of it being incest). I have no reason to hide what I do (I will admit to writing incest if asked for more details, I just don't offer that up right away).
 
I did this for about 3 years on another site and just started up here, but in all that time there isn't a single person I've met face-to-face that knows. I keep considering telling someone, but even among casual sex partners, it seemed an awkward topic to bring up.

It is a weird balance of shyness and sex-drive, I guess.

I am currently considering bringing it up with a couple I am friends with. The wife likes reading some of the "dirtier" of the mainstream market novels and can be pretty kinky, whereas the husband was raised in a "god-fearing" home but has loosened up quite a bit since he met his wife. I highly suspect that his wife already reads erotica anyway, and it would add to our possible conversation topics. The husband, well...he's one of my oldest friends. It would really bother me if I told him and he didn't approve, but it would also be a huge relief to be validated by one of the few people that has known me and kept up with me for more than a few years.
 
God no I wouldn't tell anyone.
Speaking as a young man, you'd never be able to show your face anywhere if you even admitted to sometimes reading it.

I'm not sure what it's like for older men, but I'd guess there's the same block.
 
A few select friends know, though they have never asked to read my work, nor would I put them through the awkward task of asking them to.

In general, I would only share my work with other writers. This is true of all my writing, not just the erotic stuff. It is a hobby of mine, and I treat it as such. I'm not concerned at all if my loved ones "like" my writing from a literary standpoint.

But I also have a teenaged daughter who would be pretty horrified to know that her mother writes dirty tales (in the way all teenagers are horrified by thinking of their parents and anything related to sex in the same thought).

Also, I've written some incest stuff, which might be awkward...though, again, more awkward for them than for me.

The best case scenario for me would be to have a literary-minded partner who enjoys erotica and could be my first reader. Live in hope, right?
 
My wife knew and encouraged me to post the stuff I was writing for her to a wider audience in the first place. My sister and sister-in-law both know. One woman I work with.

Beyond that and outside of here, it's just the owners, techs, admins and models at the nudie chat site I admin on, and that doesn't really count.

A few others know I write, but not really what I write. Doubt it would surprise many of the guys at work, considering they all know my wife was a nude cam model and that I still hang out there as well as with people from there on the rare occasions when we end up in the same general vicinity and can meet during an airport layover or cross-country drive.
 
I used to be part of the 'queer' communities in the 1990s. We were all devoted to being out loud and proud, and I got used to wearing my knickers on my sleeve so I find it hard not to tell everyone what I'm writing. But my fella is so straight they use him to draw lines in the department! and I have a young daughter who I don't want to get banned from birthday parties in case the other mums are judgemental. (I think they would probably love it especially after 50 Shades which I hear them all talking about at the swimming pool! but I don't want to risk her social happiness.)
My fella knows that I write smut primarily for political feminist reasons (!!!). My close friends know and since most of them are gay men they think it's normal.
I felt for BuckyDuckman although his story made me feel better. I would love my fella to read my stuff but I know he never will and that he would be mortified at all the activities my characters get up to - pretty mild stuff but he is just a wide-eyed boy from the Black Country; actually I like him like that so I keep my queer stuff for sharing online.
I made a lot of friends through reviewing stories I like online and I love it when other people enjoy my stories, it feels great to have crafted something that gives people pleasure. I like it when people take the trouble to give me feedback even when it's negative critique as recently happened to me on Smashwords, I really appreciate when they think it's worth their while telling me what hasn't quite worked. How else can I improve my writing so that it's isn't just self-indulgent and it can reach out to others.
Life is tough in my 'real' world at the moment and it's fabby to have this other world I can connect with where I get warm appreciation of the stories I am telling or even just the kind attention of people who take the time to tell me how I can improve. It would be nice to tell everyone openly what I'm writing but a world where people don't try to use anything they can get hold of on you in order to knock you back is one I think we'll be waiting for a while.
 
As a rule of thumb only the middle classes stew and fret over discovery, the peasants and perfumed princes never fret.
 
The middle classes are the ones who use what they can on you, too, in their effort to rise up into the ranks of the perfumed princes xxx
 
Love it!


Love the picture post. :D I was reading an erotica writer's blog in which she mentions the weird comments that she gets from neighbors and people in her community. I guess some people don't understand the concept of fiction.;)

By the way, only my husband and my younger sister know that I write erotica. I am still too chicken to publish any of my stories. Writing erotica would be a career-ender for me in the "real world.":eek: I hope to start publishing after I retire.:devil:
 
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