Dear X,

Dear New Mum Whom I know,

Baby's weight greater than 10 pounds. Baby's head circumference much greater than 22 inches.

The only word I can utter to express these measurements is, OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours,

Teary-eyed, wincing litster.
 
Dear Q-ey,
My heart is breaking. You were a great friend to me, and to a lot of us here. I will miss your humor, your intelligence, your compassion and your big heart.

I hope your soul is at peace now. I love and miss you...:rose:
 
Not from me you won't. I fixed it, I didn't fuck it.

Ooooh... how apt is THAT. *chuckling quietly underneath my breath*

Dear apology

Please find the right path - from whom to who.

I shall spell pmann correctly from now on - I am sorry.
I shall spell pmann correctly from now on - I am sorry.
I shall spell pmann correctly from now on - I am sorry.
I shall spell pmann correctly from now on - I am sorry.
I shall spell pmann correctly from now on - I am sorry.
x many more
 
Dear Toy Company,

"Doggie Doo"?? Just gross. If I wanted to play a game where the object was to collect three doggie poops, I'd just go to my neighbors yard with a pooper scooper!

Grossed Out Consumer
 
Dear Grossed Out Consumer,

With young children I feel this game could catch on. Maybe even reaching the exalted status of the Easter Egg hunt, or the classic, Hide and (In the US - Go) Seek.

Perhaps after that legendary turkey you folks enjoy during Thanksgiving, a game of 'Hunt the Poop' would be an ideal way to ward off the postprandial snooze-fest.

Can I suggest that a few basic precautions are taken in advance to avoid ruining the Thanksgiving to Christmas period with various bacterial or parasitic nasties:
Firstly, Alcohol hand wash, I think one or two 55 gallon drums should be enough, perhaps rigging one up to an emergency shower in case a particularly rich cache of the sought after poop is found by a little one.;

Secondly, space suites, you may want to consider getting some in team colours to provide both a bio-barrier and sense of esprit d'corps for the participants;

Finally, strike up a friendship with the boys from the local fire brigade, both because other women whom I know tell me this just a good thing to do anyway (not sure why!) and also because those high pressure hoses may expedite the tidying up process at the end of the game.​

Best wishes for a fun-filled celebration.

Yours,

Astonished that this idea hit shelves:confused:

P.S. much as I would love to join you on that day, I hope you will forgive my absence as doggy poop makes me retch:eek:
 
Dear Grossed Out Consumer,

With young children I feel this game could catch on. Maybe even reaching the exalted status of the Easter Egg hunt, or the classic, Hide and (In the US - Go) Seek.

Perhaps after that legendary turkey you folks enjoy during Thanksgiving, a game of 'Hunt the Poop' would be an ideal way to ward off the postprandial snooze-fest.

Can I suggest that a few basic precautions are taken in advance to avoid ruining the Thanksgiving to Christmas period with various bacterial or parasitic nasties:
Firstly, Alcohol hand wash, I think one or two 55 gallon drums should be enough, perhaps rigging one up to an emergency shower in case a particularly rich cache of the sought after poop is found by a little one.;

Secondly, space suites, you may want to consider getting some in team colours to provide both a bio-barrier and sense of esprit d'corps for the participants;

Finally, strike up a friendship with the boys from the local fire brigade, both because other women whom I know tell me this just a good thing to do anyway (not sure why!) and also because those high pressure hoses may expedite the tidying up process at the end of the game.​

Best wishes for a fun-filled celebration.

Yours,

Astonished that this idea hit shelves:confused:

P.S. much as I would love to join you on that day, I hope you will forgive my absence as doggy poop makes me retch:eek:



Dear Astonished Litster;

I think that the Alcohol Hand Wash is an great idea, as is the idea of space suits in team colors. However, I think the most brilliant idea of all is for me to go make some new friends down at the local fire house! Very clever, indeed!

Yours,
Wishing you would join me if for no other reason but to hold my hair back as I retch, Litster
 
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Dear Astonished Litster;

I think that the Alcohol Hand Wash is an great idea, as is the idea of space suits in team colors. However, I think the most brilliant idea of all is for me to go make some new friends down at the local fire house! Very clever, indeed!

Yours,
Wishing you would join me if for no other reason but to hold my hair back as I retch, Litster

Dear Long-haired litster,

The picture is the proof. I am considering buying a set just so that I can burn it!

I will now believe anything you tell me.

Yours,

In my day it was Mouse Trap and Buckeroo, The Rooting-Tooting Bucking Game Litster
 
Dear Long-haired litster,

The picture is the proof. I am considering buying a set just so that I can burn it!

I will now believe anything you tell me.

Yours,

In my day it was Mouse Trap and Buckeroo, The Rooting-Tooting Bucking Game Litster

Dear Game Playing Litster,

Mouse Trap was great fun! I've never heard of Buckeroo, the Rooting-Tooting Bucking game. Thanks to Google, though, I think I've found it! Was it marketed with the slogan "Put on a shovel, try a pick, if it's too heavy the mule will kick"? I don't think PETA would endorse that product!

Also, you will now believe anything I tell you, huh? Hmmm, I will have to think about how best to use this new power of mine.

Yours,
Believable Litster
 
Dear Cousin,

Thank you for the lesson!

Yours,
Truly living up to that nickname now Litster
 
Dear Router Manufacturer,

When I have access controls enabled, and the current time is within the permitted Internet access window, it would be jolly dandy if your half-arsed firmware didn't drop packets all over the lounge carpet!

Yours,

My teenage son learning Java could do a better job, Litster.:mad:
 
Dear Router Manufacturer,

When I have access controls enabled, and the current time is within the permitted Internet access window, it would be jolly dandy if your half-arsed firmware didn't drop packets all over the lounge carpet!

Yours,

My teenage son learning Java could do a better job, Litster.:mad:

Dear frustrated Litster,

That was all gibberish to me, but I'm sorry you're encountering difficulties.

Yours,
Confused but concerned Litster
 
Dear confused but concerned,

I think, in plain speak, what he's trying to convey is something like this:

Le_388aa4_2937568.jpg


Sincerely,
I could be wrong, but it's rare.

Dear frustrated Litster,

That was all gibberish to me, but I'm sorry you're encountering difficulties.

Yours,
Confused but concerned Litster

Dear Rarely Wrong and Confused but Concerned Litsters,

I'm afraid I can't see the image (do I need to be logged into that site?).

However, briefly, there is no way to make the parental controls, advertised as a feature on this router, actually work. By, 'work' I mean 'WORK' - LIKE AT ALL!!!!!!.

Yours,

Pleased I kept the packaging and hoping I don't meet my progeny on this site until at least 2017 Litster.
 
Dear Rarely Wrong and Confused but Concerned Litsters,

I'm afraid I can't see the image (do I need to be logged into that site?).

Dear Ebers,

She uses a Mac which is absolutely a tool of the devil. That's probably why you can't see it. She pulled that ghost picture from her playlist and posted it for only Mac people to see.

Sincerely,

PC Bro
 
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Dead Ebers,

She uses a Mac which is absolutely a tool of the devil. That's probably why you can't see it. She pulled that ghost picture from her playlist and posted it for only Mac people to see.

Sincerely,

PC Bro

Dear PC Bro,

Whilst this next comment may bring us back to the whole, homo-erotic, rainshine, puddle convo, I have to be candid with you.

Currently, I am sitting in front of 13" of the fruity one's finest, skin-thin, aluminium-clad, uber-book.

And I still can't see the fecking picture.

Yours,

Feeling a bit 'metro-sexual' litster
 
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Dear PC Bro,

Whilst this next comment may bring us back to the whole, homo-erotic, rainshine, puddle convo, I have to candid with you.

Currently, I am sitting in front of 13" of the fruity one's finest, skin-thin, aluminium-clad, uber-book.

And I still can't see the fecking picture.

Yours,

Feeling a bit 'metro-sexual' litster

Dear Metro Man,

I'd love to call you out for your metro ways, but the moment I do, I'll get a heaping pile of shit for my fashion forward lifestyle. So I'll just hi five and chest bump you.

Cheers,

Totally Hetero Pmann
 
Dear Rarely Wrong and Confused but Concerned Litsters,

I'm afraid I can't see the image (do I need to be logged into that site?).

However, briefly, there is no way to make the parental controls, advertised as a feature on this router, actually work. By, 'work' I mean 'WORK' - LIKE AT ALL!!!!!!.

Yours,

Pleased I kept the packaging and hoping I don't meet my progeny on this site until at least 2017 Litster.

Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster
 
Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster

Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster
 
Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster

Dear slightly appalled/proud,

I remember you saying something about that one time. I can see your dilemma.

I'd have to just pretend I didn't see anything Litster
 
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