pfflyerhot
Pussyfooting around...
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2012
- Posts
- 19,425
Happy to hear this as I thought the same as blulilacgrl. Think in terms of what you can do... think about the suggestions a few day or so, do some processing of things, figure it out, think: solutions not excuses. I got an excuse for everything, too, if I need one... but my problems are never solved by those excuses. He's gotta be willing to participate also... sounds like that might be a challenge, right there... You mentioned he won't do counseling... consider it still, for yourself. My communication skills... talking, understanding, listening skills are 100% better than before I saw a therapist. My motto is "figure it out... together... or forget it." But if he won't go with you, maybe go by yourself. A therapist could help you figure out what you need, want, what works, what doesn't, how ways of thinking can sometimes be skewed & mess you up.As much as it sucked to read that, you are right. I went back through and read the thread, paying attention to my posts and the ones I quoted, and you're absolutely right. I only offered ways that it wouldn't work, ie excuses. You're right, I can't change him, I can only change myself, and hope he responds positively to those changes.
So, I'm going to go back through, read the responses again, and figure out a way to incorporate some of them into my life. I'm not ready to give up, but there is no point in asking for advice if I'm just going to shoot down every suggestion given.
Here's a thought: I trust you aren't referring to him as having always "been just the manager" in his presence... or the kids' presence. That'd be kind of a big turnoff for him, I'd imagine.
To express my opinions specifically... concerning a certain poster on here, well, I just don't have the time so I'll say this: I know a lot of people. It's funny, in a twilight zone style, though, that just about every guy I've ever known named Rick... was a dick. Some things never change.