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Feel the sudden urge to go to a park with Wings...
Well I must say that could make for some good BBQ conversation...Saturday morning and our 19 YO son was away for the weekend and our 16 YO son had left for work an hour before, so I went back to bed to take a shower and "wake up" my wife by climbing between her legs and going down on her. I told her we were alone and she became quite noisy, begging me to come up and fuck the hell out of her...about half an hour of wild sex in many positions followed that and other demands and words of encourgment and appreciation, etc.. If was pretty wild! All with the door open.
I got up a few minutes later and walked out the bedroom door toward the bathroom, just in time to greet my older son's female friend coming out of his bedroom. As I learned later, mechanical problems cut short their weekend plans (hence no car in the driveway) and they came home in the middle of the night and collapsed in his room. I was sure she heard a lot, but was convinced when I saw her mother a week later...her daughter told her all about it.
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I love story number two.....great talesOh dear jesus, how to concise the best ones... don't say you didn't ask.
I was sick. Really, really sick with the flu. The boyfriend (whom drove some crotch rocket motorcycle and lived about 75km away) stopped in when he was done work (as a bartender in a local club). Well, he wasn't the most in-tune man on the planet, to say the least. He said he was stopping in to "feed me chicken soup". Yeah, bullshit. He stopped in to pester me give him head. I explained that it wasn't a good idea, I was ill. He wouldn't shut up. So, to alleviate his whining, I gave in.
Slurping and sucking away, I started to feel a bit weak. He hadn't even taken his pants off, just rolled down the front enough to provide access for what he was after. Well, I'm feeling like a bag of stewed ass, my stomach is rocking, I feel like my temperature is trying to mimic the surface of the sun. And byaaaaak, I vomit all over cock, the front of his pants, and the edge of my bed. I was more upset about the bed than him. Fucking moron, served him right to have to ride home with wet pukey pants.
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I was with another boyfriend, years later. He was mmmmm... gorgeous cock. Oh yeah, I wish I had that cock right now... woah, back to topic. Anyway, it was thick and long and fantastically hard and I loved riding it anywhere and everywhere.
We were house-sitting for a friend of his, in the boons. There was a pool on premise and about 27 bedrooms (it was more like a mansion than a house). So we had been christening every spare spot on the property. Wouldn't you know that the trouble would come the minute we were in a real bed doing it like civilized folk.
I'm on all fours, ass in the air and he's pounding it to me, hands on my hips and talking that lovely filthy speak that was soooo erotic with him. His cock was feeling good, oh damn, so very good - and then instant, burning, omfg I think I might die right now pain. I screamed, louder than a banshee and I'm sure neighboring farms must have called 911. So boyfriend thinks "hell YEAH, she's loving this" and fucks me harder. And I think I'm being sawed in half, and let out this howl/scream/yell/moan thing, and if boyfriend doesn't get so hot he cums right then and there. But at least he gets the fuck off me at this point.
I'm doubled over and clutching my stomach and becoming a bit delirious and he figures out, finally (I said he had a nice cock folks, he was no rocket scientist), that all that noise was not due to his prowess. So we have to take me to the hospital, on the only vehicle there, a Harley-Davidson Softail motorcycle. Once at the hospital, the doctors determined that I had a ruptured ovarian cyst and I was taken into surgery. The doctor was asking what we were doing when this happened and I'm screaming doggy, doggy, doggy and the doctor thinks that I'm worried about my dog. Boyfriend had to explain that no, we were "umm doing it, doggy style".
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My boyfriend had come to my apartment to visit, late at night after he was finished work. Well, we did very little visiting and a lot of mutual sucking and licking. We never bothered turning the lights on - it was my apartment, I knew where everything was, who needs lights? Boyfriend brings me to a delicious orgasm with his tongue, and I reciprocate with my mouth and hand, and then we notice the time. Shit! He's supposed to meet a friend of his when the friend gets done tending bar (yep, same guy as story one, but that's a whole other story) and he's gonna be late.
So he rushes to get clothes on and flies out of my apartment. He shows up for last call and the friend asks boyfriend, "What is all over your nose? Did you have a nosebleed man?".
Yeah, you guessed it, I began menstruating while he was servicing me ever so nicely earlier. Lol? We never turned the lights on so I never saw that he was smeared with blood. Poor guy. He called me at about the same time I was cleaning up and figured out he might be a mess. Heh. Oops.
Thank you for fulfilling my requests. You ARE a wild Amazon.Ok, per Fresh Meat's request:
We were once in the lake, my legs wrapped around him when a HUGE (HUGE I SAY) fish bumped in to me. I freaked out and went splashing back to shore as quickly as possible. It wasn't until I heard the hysterical laughter that I turned around and he shouted "that was my HAND you twit". Yeah well, he didn't get any that night after that, NOW who's the twit?
On the back of my 4wheeler, half naked, going at it and we started hearing this very loud crashing noise through the brush. We both froze, looked at each other, looked towards the sound and sure enough, big ass bear came barrelling out. Thankfully she was not interested in us, she was on her way somewhere else, but dammit. After she left we scrambled to get dressed and hightailed it out of there!
he - "Oh my god no, ugghhh, oh fuck I'm cumming shit yes, who cares about a train."
me - "We're on the fucking train tracks you retarded shit, GET THE FUCK OFF ME, I CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING TRAIN!!!"
Priceless.
This will be my first post.....
A girl that I'd been after for some time finally calls me and joins me at a local bar. She's drunk, and I'm just flat out happy to see her. We decide to go out to the Wildlife Refuge for a ride in my car. Sunroof open, looking at the stars, we pull over and start getting busy. Goind down on her, fucking her on the trunk of the car. We think it would be better to find a place off the refuge to ensure privacy, so we gather our clothes and hop in. With the clothes in piles all over the car, we begin heading off the refuge.......and get pulled over.
So, here we are, two thirtysomethings, caught with our pants down...literally.
A cop friend of mine later called me "stud" with no point of reference and no reference later....I'm waiting for this to be used against me.
No regrets, though...that girl was fucking hot!!
Are you in Minnesota? I realize it's random, but I thought I'd ask.