PM asshattery

I know, right? Besides, if I'm supposed to be seeking male validation, then I'm clearly failing miserably. :)

It's pretty easy to see through those snarky posts and know you're just asking for a good railing. Obvious to the most casual observer.
 
I've had far more than my usual crop of asshats this week. The reply to this one almost wrote itself:

Title: hi dear how are u

seems ur really expereinced in handling guys

And it seems that you have no idea how to talk to a woman politely.
 
Exactly! You don't owe those asshats anything!

The worst part is when they act like they're doing us a favor by sending us messages. Believe it or not, dudes, not all of us are here because we're seeking male validation.

Especially male validation from a male asshat. ;)
 
Every great once in a while I get a PM from someone who genuinely wants to take a conversation privately (keyword: CONVERSATION), and I don't have a problem with that.

And just to clear up any misconceptions, I'm not a jaded bitch. Not all men are asshats. Sometimes I want to refer some of these asshats to some of the classier men who post on Lit just so they can get a clue, but I can't find it within myself to bring that kind of misery to the non-asshat men.
 
here's my gems from the last few days:

"I often amaze myself at how charming and interesting I am, so maybe you'd feel the same way!"
i wonder why someone so amazing needs someone to chat with? lol.

and

"do you smoke at all?
I'm 26, I find women who are slightly older who smoke to be very attractive."
gee, thank you. i'm not that old. *rolls eyes*
 
so i was thinking more about the form letter response and i realized i didn't like it cuz it kinda requires selecting one or more reasons. i also realized that while i love the idea of bone-crushing snark in the reply, that approach is flawed because: a) some people like abuse and b) it kinda invites a reply, which is not desirable. so here's take 2:

your unsolicited and (frankly) ludicrous attempt to hump my leg via PM has won you an award:

1) this form response, and
2) my copying & pasting your pathetic attempt at written english communication in the PM asshattery thread.

any future such communications will be treated in the same fashion.

have a day.
 
your unsolicited and (frankly) ludicrous attempt to hump my leg via PM has won you an award:

1) this form response, and
2) my copying & pasting your pathetic attempt at written english communication in the PM asshattery thread.

any future such communications will be treated in the same fashion.

have a day.
Where's the "Like" button?
 
Today I got my first dick picture, and one wanting to blow my husband while I watched. Neither are of interest to me, or my husband.
 
Ooh, I've had that one too - I wrote him back a very thorough response about how 'spoiling' has been spoiled for me.

What's the best response to asshat queries about my attire, or what kind of 'panties' I'm wearing? I don't really understand it...
 
Ooh, I've had that one too - I wrote him back a very thorough response about how 'spoiling' has been spoiled for me.

What's the best response to asshat queries about my attire, or what kind of 'panties' I'm wearing? I don't really understand it...

I've sent this pic as an answer a few times ...

6a00e54f937a85883401543484e294970c-800wi
 
Just ... all the guys who PM me after I make a comment on a thread asking if I want to "tell them more", or all the guys who blindly offer me an ASL and a request to chat ... stop doing it. :-/
 
I tend to dryly note that yes, ASL is all I need to know about them before I leap into their arms. :)
 
Oh dear - can't be bothered pasting the last one I got here - it's too long, but
a) Don't send me crappy stories & then claim they were inspired by me - I very much doubt it &
b) I'm 37 - don't refer to me as 'an older woman' it's not appreciated!
 
Oh dear - can't be bothered pasting the last one I got here - it's too long, but
a) Don't send me crappy stories & then claim they were inspired by me - I very much doubt it &
b) I'm 37 - don't refer to me as 'an older woman' it's not appreciated!

You know BB, I am 43 and get "mature" once in a while and think wow. . . not cool man, not cool at all. It does crack me up though. I think well, I guess when you are all of 16 and posting on here pretending to be 30, 43 would qualify as mature. :)

*strapping on my orthopedic stripper shoes, and hobbling away for the early bird special*
 
Oh dear - can't be bothered pasting the last one I got here - it's too long, but
a) Don't send me crappy stories & then claim they were inspired by me - I very much doubt it &
b) I'm 37 - don't refer to me as 'an older woman' it's not appreciated!

Her Saucyness hit upon it. Keep in mind some of these guys probably only just recently took their Avril Lavigne posters down, and they're ranking you in the same spank-bank categories as their friend's moms.
 
You know BB, I am 43 and get "mature" once in a while and think wow. . . not cool man, not cool at all. It does crack me up though. I think well, I guess when you are all of 16 and posting on here pretending to be 30, 43 would qualify as mature. :)

*strapping on my orthopedic stripper shoes, and hobbling away for the early bird special*

Thanks Saucy - that made me feel a bit better and made me laugh! :D

Her Saucyness hit upon it. Keep in mind some of these guys probably only just recently took their Avril Lavigne posters down, and they're ranking you in the same spank-bank categories as their friend's moms.

I know you're right E but I don't have kids yet so I don't feel like someone's Mum!
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
 
I know you're right E but I don't have kids yet so I don't feel like someone's Mum!
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'

HAHAHA!!! This just made me spit my water half way across the room!
 
I know you're right E but I don't have kids yet so I don't feel like someone's Mum!
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'

That should have come with a spew alert.
 
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