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Back on theme again!
I spotted this video today ( why is YT so slow at recommendations?! ) and it's pretty good.
Back story FYI: Tony Attwood is a renown clinical psychologist, whose field is autism and the host vlog Autismhangout, often features him. This episode gives a frustratingly but necessarily brief look at Gender Identity Disorder through the lens of ASD ( Autism Spectrum Disorder - previously known as Asperger Syndrome ) and how ASD folk tend to present GID.
Extra Info - I was recently diagnosed borderline ASD.

At 3.28 the interviewer asks if GID is a sexual thing. TA gives a great answer, because he barely mentions sexual attraction and from my POV that's where I'm coming from too. It's about who are you, not who you want to sleep with.

Later at 9.45 I found myself hiding my hands and blushing... I'll let you figure that one out



ETA - Gender Indentity Disorder, Gender Variance and Autism July 2020
I've already posted about ASD and the observed comorbidity between autism and gender indentity disorder, but more and more studies are acknowledging its significance so that kids presenting with GID are now routinely being assessed for ASD. How times change. So I'm going to start adding links and info on the post and add it to my Index.
For any parent whose children have been diagnosed with one or the other - you need to read these links.

Deborah Rudacille The Riddle of Gender
"Coming at the controversial subject of transsexualism from several angles–historical, sociological, psychological, medical–Rudacille discovered that gender variance is anything but new, that changing one’s gender has been met with both acceptance and hostility through the years, and that gender identity, like sexual orientation, appears to be inborn, not learned, though in some people the sex of the body does not match the sex of the brain."
Living between Genders
A fascinating PDF covering diagnostic overlap with personal accounts from parents and children. ****
New Clinical Guidelines for GID and Autism
"A new set of guidelines aims to help clinicians recognize and treat gender dysphoria in adolescents with autism" ****
includes a number of useful links to current ( 2018 ) papers through PubMed such as
Co-occurrence of GID and ASD in Adults

Holy crap - this is amazing! I'm going to be reading this for weeks

ETA I need to make a distinction between Gender Identity Disorder and Gender Dysphoria.

GID is a confusion over gender generally ie 'Am I a girl or a boy?' 'What's the difference between genders?' . These are typically, and disarmingly, innocent questions in the frame that an autistic person might use. Very often concepts are a stumbling block to autistic people because they often need to understand everything from a base level upward. That's why I've always been crap at Calculus - because it is a concept that is difficult to break down into its constituent principles.
GD - gender dysphoria is a mental condition resulting in depression, anxiety from a reaction to your body sex not matching how you perceive yourself as a person.

The two terms get confused a swapped incorrectly. Thus far, no conclusive evidence had been found to link GD and autism. So 'A large percentage of people with GD are autistic' is speculative. No research has been undertaken. A very small and statistically meaningless study was made linking GID and ASD.

Here's a useful article to add further info

I've recently had this Litsters posts pointed out to me. I'm going to enjoy reading her post and link

Here's a shout out to my mate Charlie ( well ok we've never met but hey ) and her racing career. You boys might have a tough job keeping up with this lady... anyway great to see such good coverage on mainstream TV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GyNHLq_Acg

stickygirl said:

Here's a shout out to my mate Charlie ( well ok we've never met but hey ) and her racing career. You boys might have a tough job keeping up with this lady... anyway great to see such good coverage on mainstream TV

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I would not have a chance of keeping up, both in terms of reaction time behind the wheel and speaking so well on national TV. She is so smart and articulate.

coati said:

I would not have a chance of keeping up, both in terms of reaction time behind the wheel and speaking so well on national TV. She is so smart and articulate.

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Hi coati
Did you notice the number of down votes against the video... what's wrong with people huh? Yep, like a lot of the high performance people, she's super focussed and wee bit scary. Reminds me of my last gf in fact

stickygirl said:

Hi coati
Did you notice the number of down votes against the video... what's wrong with people huh? Yep, like a lot of the high performance people, she's super focussed and wee bit scary. Reminds me of my last gf in fact

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I don't get the down-votes, because she does not seem scary to me at all. In fact, I find her very rational and nice and engaging.

I hope you are doing well-- it's always good to "hear" your voice during these crazy times.

Intersex disqualification

We shouldn't forget the I in LGBTQI and here's a kinda sad video posted a couple of years back. A young woman who is intersex, explains how she was rejected in her application to the military in the US because her genitals 'aren't right' ... As she concludes, they could have rejected her for any number of other reasons, but here the decision was weird and unfair

https://youtu.be/SkzTjD1ihoI

Peeking in to read up on the last few months of posts and drop these off for your perusal:

http://transnewyork.org/cross-dressers-have-been-a-largely-misinterpreted-group
A lot of discussions about who's under the 'trans umbrella' deliberately exclude CDs (e.g. compare this and this). The article doesn't even really ask a question, but it encourages me to think that all people with 'atypical' gender expression (i.e. not the cis majority) may some day be able to be themselves.

https://www.them.us/story/how-do-i-know-if-im-transfeminine
For those who feel they may not be 'trans enough'. This one got to me.

The longer I've been identifying as bigender, the more I find myself believing that the world would be a much better place if we could let go of these mental rigidities we have around gender.

March 31st is Transgender Day of Visibility

Paris Lees has some words

As I read Paris’ article about visible/invisible I can remember reading advice four or five years ago that said that ‘passing’ wasn’t everything, that you didn’t have to ‘pass’ to be trans and live a full life. It puzzled me at the time: I felt guilty and confused by the advice because my everyday experience said the opposite. Looking normal, being invisible and being accepted in a cis-normative world is surely the goal of every trans person?

Critics push the idea on us that trying to appear cisgender must be at odds with being trans “Why do you reinforce the gender stereotype by wanting to appear cisgender?” Those words are never spoken by anyone who has gone through the taunts, the abuse and violence of not being normal. In short it’s a bullshit argument that only seeks to undermine our authenticity as individuals. It's not my job to continually wave a flag of objection in order to satisfy someone else’s political platform.

What is important is that we trans people don’t walk away and become, through invisibility and silence, part of the problem. I know a couple of people who’ve done that. I can understand their decision, because not everyone has the strength to keep fighting when there are more pressing matters in your life, like keeping a job or a relationship or your sanity, come to that.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to not being noticed for being trans. Like Paris, I have smiled at kids in public places and wrinkled my nose in a smile to their Mum. It is such a relief and a joy to be accepted. So what does that say about our world - that despite so many advances we are full of tribal, primitive instincts? We all want more than that.

stickygirl said:

I started to write something yesterday about my childhood, then I thought maybe this was the wrong forum.
I could say summinck about how gender is imposed on us, because that came up in my writing ramble...
Before I do though - has anyone else got views?

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Got no clue if this can be a timely response but the whole thread almost brings me to tears over the pain and suffering expressed and implied and this question tips me over from lurking to poster.
EVERY single person who has ever lived has been "bent" in one way or another in childhood. Took me fifty years to get even a half grip on the reality of my worth as a person.
Realization of self-worth is made difficult for some by their upbringing and for ALL of us by the "noise" being blasted at us by thoughtless pundits, posters, "newsmen", bloggers vloggers and their ilk who have nothing to offer except sensational BS.
So, Sticky, lay it on us. At least we can be assured what you write will be reasoned and thoughtful.
And for all the rest of us sinners, remember that no stone was thrown at the adulteress when the first was to be thrown by he had had no sin.

Thanks for your response.
There are good parents and bad parents, but everyone needs the opportunity to break from the family mould and figure out what they want from life. Education is the key.

Support for attacked lesbian couple

I was really upset to read about this in the UK this week. There's a link in the article if you'd like to make a donation towards them.
https://metro.co.uk/2019/06/07/police-arrest-suspects-gay-couple-attacked-bus-9870237/

stickygirl said:

I was really upset to read about this in the UK this week. There's a link in the article if you'd like to make a donation towards them.
https://metro.co.uk/2019/06/07/police-arrest-suspects-gay-couple-attacked-bus-9870237/

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That's genuinely horrific, sticky. I can't fathom the gall of men like that to expect total strangers to perform for their entertainment on demand. They're lesbians, that doesn't make them porn stars, strippers, or prostitutes, and even those have the right to refuse anyone for any reason. It goes to prove that our civilization still has a long way to go in terms of respecting bodily autonomy and equality for all.

I know. tbh it could have been any two women - just friends, who got mugged for no reason at all. Nasty teenage boys, who shouldn't even be out at that time of night and they'll be too young for any decent justice. I hate the way that the legal system describes stuff like this as GBH which doesn't even get a rap on the knuckles - they'll just get a caution.

nfrrdscnnr1 said:

Got no clue if this can be a timely response but the whole thread almost brings me to tears over the pain and suffering expressed and implied and this question tips me over from lurking to poster.
EVERY single person who has ever lived has been "bent" in one way or another in childhood. Took me fifty years to get even a half grip on the reality of my worth as a person.
Realization of self-worth is made difficult for some by their upbringing and for ALL of us by the "noise" being blasted at us by thoughtless pundits, posters, "newsmen", bloggers vloggers and their ilk who have nothing to offer except sensational BS.
So, Sticky, lay it on us. At least we can be assured what you write will be reasoned and thoughtful.
And for all the rest of us sinners, remember that no stone was thrown at the adulteress when the first was to be thrown by he had had no sin.

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stickygirl said:

Thanks for your response.
There are good parents and bad parents, but everyone needs the opportunity to break from the family mould and figure out what they want from life. Education is the key.

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Yes, education is the key. Not just for children, but for everyone. It's societies at large that need educating in so many ways. However, instead of embracing truth and facts based knowledge, there seems to be a growing ground swell of "willful ignorance" on the rise in many societies. It's bad when parents get it wrong with their children, but it can be catastrophic when societies get the truth mixed up with ideology. Sadly, their seems to be an uptick in adhering to ones preconceived beliefs and opinions over educated fact in many societies. (climate change for example)

In the USA, I see this 'willful ignorance' growing into an aggressive 'flaunt it in your face' attitude. A lot of this is being pushed by right-wing ideology around the world...and it appears to be growing. I comprehend that this 'willful ignorance' is spawned in ideologies of tribalism, regionalism, politics, culture and religion...but I have no idea how to stop it or even try to slow it down.

If possible, I would recommend watching the series GayCation with Ellen Page. I know it's on HULU, not sure where else. It's a look a social acceptance of LGBTQ people in many locations around the world. At the end of the day, we're a long way from where we need to be on a global scale. [One chilling interview was with an ex-policeman in Brazil who openly admits that he has killed many gay people...and intends to continue with his like minded companions.]

I know this all comes off as negative...maybe defeatism; But how is the best way to push back at this right-wing cloud spreading over the world? Yes, education works...but only to for those open enough to actually listen. Or maybe it's just me who thinks this

I'm encouraged to see that education is reaching 'the younger generation'. While there's still a lot of taboo around 'non-traditional' sexual orientations and gender identities, kids and teens are talking more or less openly about these things now, and this can't be anything but good.

That my 16-year-old is able to participate in a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) club in his Catholic high school in a heavily Italian area of my city, and be out (at least to some people) as a trans boy, is a vast improvement over how things were when I was a kid. Yes, it's not perfect, but it's progress.

Sometimes progress is simply about waiting for ignorant old folks to die off.

That said, the US is going down a rabbit-hole of its own making, so fuck them and all their bigotry, and my sympathies to all the people who are suffering as a result.

Hi guys

on the back of a pretty meaningless game of ping-pong with some transphobic old men on another thread (*waves to old men*) then yea, educating young people is always going to be ... productive

Here's a post from Sophie Labelle that's kinda timely


Not that she'll ever read it, but a shout out to Charlie Martin, our UK trans racing driver who is just fantastic and is desperate to compete at LeMans 24hrs and that thing she drives is scary powerful. She's becoming a great spokesperson for LGBT and showing how none of us is mentally ill per se and quite able to live normal lives, if only people would stop making up shit about us.

Big star for me in passing a couple of exams recently, which is a weight off my mind. Hopefully I can get myself on track to do my masters in material science

I love Sophie's work!

And yes, it would be nice if the world would just let us exist without all the bigoted drama and ignorance fueled chaos.

<edit> Congrats on passing your exams!!

Speaking of materials...

We really need some breakthroughs in material science, particularly in the area of localized energy production and storage.

we cannot and will not ever live on solar and wind

coati said:

We really need some breakthroughs in material science, particularly in the area of localized energy production and storage.

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unless only elite dems like Bernie get to keep the lights on. Cuz they are better than us.

Nuclear Power is the answer for our electricity needs.

Ooops

muycurioso said:

unless only elite dems like Bernie get to keep the lights on. Cuz they are better than us.

Nuclear Power is the answer for our electricity needs.

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Forgot that innovation for transportation and home power is not allowed to be mentioned under the Republicans' Fourth Reich. My bad.

Sorry I even brought up the peripheral topic.

Yup - there is a GB thread for this topic guys, thanks

So tonight, partly because I have a gross cold, I am staying in to watch a new film to me: Girl by Lukas Dhont, which of course comes with five stars. "Delicate and moving" it promises... my review to follow. I'm a bit miffed this flew under my radar for so long.

Aaargh this leaky nose... this may not be the best frame of mind to review anything but lets see

Wow, that was worth seeing. This is film for anyone who cares about people, who remembers how crap it is to be a teenager and how difficult it must be to be a parent.

The interview with the film's director in the Special section is worth listening toas he explains the back story to the film itself. I liked that his suggestion that there ought to be more trans films, telling the stories of different trans people - that we're not all the same and each, although having different lives and desires, often share experiences that aren't just limited to the scope of being trans. There was a lot of teenage angst that will be familiar to anyone but this film, naturally enough, breaks new ground.

Visually, I loved the use of reflections - in railway carriage windows, in shops and mirrors: how we view ourselves against the everyday backdrop, wherever we notice our own face looking back. There's a wonderful relationship between father and daughter: great to see a supportive family for a change - they do happen!! And a heart warming relationship between the Girl and her younger brother.

Overall, it's a niche film, worthy of its Cannes festival Un Certain Regard and you should see it. from me

So what does it mean if someone says "You're glowing" three times in one lunchtime meet up? Aside from checking I hadn't swallowed fissionable material, what did that mean? We only meet up in person every now and again, she knows my background, we have a professional work-based relationship, but the last couple of times, I've left wondering 'was she hitting on me?'
I know this is an aspie thing, because I don't get things intuitively. Any suggestions appreciated. As it happens, I really like her but I don't fancy her, but I don't want to lead her on either. Maybe I say nothing? I didn't know how to respond because I'm crap at this kind of thing

Oh also, a book review to follow shortly... still reading it, but recommended.

stickygirl said:

So what does it mean if someone says "You're glowing" three times in one lunchtime meet up? Aside from checking I hadn't swallowed fissionable material, what did that mean? We only meet up in person every now and again, she knows my background, we have a professional work-based relationship, but the last couple of times, I've left wondering 'was she hitting on me?'
I know this is an aspie thing, because I don't get things intuitively. Any suggestions appreciated. As it happens, I really like her but I don't fancy her, but I don't want to lead her on either. Maybe I say nothing? I didn't know how to respond because I'm crap at this kind of thing

Oh also, a book review to follow shortly... still reading it, but recommended.

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Been a long time since I've visited you.

I would converse with her about it. Explain that her compliments made you feel good, but you're not entirely accustomed to receiving such. Perhaps that'll open the convo for her to expand on her comments without you having to state your interest or lack of.

Cheers BR. The first time I just shrugged and smiled, then when it came out again I felt confused but I thought I was reading too much into it... like over-thinking. Good idea though - I'll just ask her to explain if/when it happens again. Simple huh?