Moochie’s Musings (and a pic or two)

Ironfan said:

Sometimes it's hard to see past the pain, back of forwards to a time when there was something else. People tell you to use it as an inspiration for greater things or that you're just using it as a crutch or an excuse.

In times like that you need a hand hold, something to remind you that the is something else, another way. Sounds like you have that hand hold in E (also a lucky person to see your fabulous body in person) but hopefully also in us here in Lit.

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Todger65 said:

Today is one of those days where there is a little light at the end of the tunnel, something to aim for, to guide you. You are relaxing a little as you are being led to something you appear comfortable with.

Relax let the hot water and bubbles do their work, and think about the good things that are hopefully to follow.

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BeRightBack said:

If I could find a way to see this straight, I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now

And so I run to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

I pray you get your escape! and you restore your life the way it should be

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Moochienanu said:

Life's too short to even care at all, oh.
I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue, oh.
These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart, oh, oh, oh, oh.
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh, oh.

E. fixes me a bath tonight. He knows I’ve been feeling like the pit of darkness is swallowing me whole. I know I’ve not been myself because of it: the constant pain. I take a deep breath and try to wipe the negativity out of my thoughts for a bit.

He leads me to the bathroom and shows me the tub full of bubbles and perfumed with sweet tonka and vanilla notes, saying sweetly “I know you need this.” I just nod. I’m still so lost today. He gets on his knees in front of me and undoes my jeans and slips them off slowly, skimming my thighs and calves with his warm, tan hands. As he does, he kisses my panties and looks up at me. I smile down at him as he slips the panties off too, then he kisses the skin right above my little patch of fur and a happy sigh escapes my lips.

As he gets back up from his knees, one of his hands runs up the inside of my leg, sending chills up my spine. Then his hand stops between my legs and a finger slips against my slick lips, tickling my favorite spot just a little as he moves his hand to the bottom of my shirt. I give him a look and call him a tease. He just smiles and lifts my shirt off over my head. He kisses me softly on the lips and removes my bra, the final piece of my clothing.

Naked in front of him, I don’t feel exposed, but rather the opposite: I feel even more sexy. He pulls me close to him, my breasts against him, his hands reach down and wrap around my ass, pulling me up onto my toes for a kiss that makes me involuntarily moan when he lets me go. “You better get in that tub or I’m going to keep you out of it until it gets very cold” he mutters into my ear before kissing the skin just below it.

He offers me a hand to help me step into the tub. My whole body is enveloped in warmth and sweet smells. My eyes close and all I hear is the crackling of the bubbles as they slowly remove themselves from existence. So many bubbles I can barely see my toes. Maybe my hole isn’t so deep today and I can allow a bit of sun inside.

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Moochienanu said:

Life's too short to even care at all, oh.
I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue, oh.
These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart, oh, oh, oh, oh.
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh, oh.

E. fixes me a bath tonight. He knows I’ve been feeling like the pit of darkness is swallowing me whole. I know I’ve not been myself because of it: the constant pain. I take a deep breath and try to wipe the negativity out of my thoughts for a bit.

He leads me to the bathroom and shows me the tub full of bubbles and perfumed with sweet tonka and vanilla notes, saying sweetly “I know you need this.” I just nod. I’m still so lost today. He gets on his knees in front of me and undoes my jeans and slips them off slowly, skimming my thighs and calves with his warm, tan hands. As he does, he kisses my panties and looks up at me. I smile down at him as he slips the panties off too, then he kisses the skin right above my little patch of fur and a happy sigh escapes my lips.

As he gets back up from his knees, one of his hands runs up the inside of my leg, sending chills up my spine. Then his hand stops between my legs and a finger slips against my slick lips, tickling my favorite spot just a little as he moves his hand to the bottom of my shirt. I give him a look and call him a tease. He just smiles and lifts my shirt off over my head. He kisses me softly on the lips and removes my bra, the final piece of my clothing.

Naked in front of him, I don’t feel exposed, but rather the opposite: I feel even more sexy. He pulls me close to him, my breasts against him, his hands reach down and wrap around my ass, pulling me up onto my toes for a kiss that makes me involuntarily moan when he lets me go. “You better get in that tub or I’m going to keep you out of it until it gets very cold” he mutters into my ear before kissing the skin just below it.

He offers me a hand to help me step into the tub. My whole body is enveloped in warmth and sweet smells. My eyes close and all I hear is the crackling of the bubbles as they slowly remove themselves from existence. So many bubbles I can barely see my toes. Maybe my hole isn’t so deep today and I can allow a bit of sun inside.

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Moochienanu said:

Don't let the sun blast your shadow
Don't let the milk float ride your mind
You're so natural, religiously unkind

I am just going to write something today. I’m going to let my thoughts flow, which I feel I haven’t done in a while. I’ve been a bit... selective? Worried? Uncertain? About the things that I post lately... I am going to be real with you all for a minute and tell a story about a girl on lit who posts her body for other people to see. I’m going to tell you about a poor decision she made and is paying for it still.

About five months ago, this litster met another litster in real life for the first time. Before meeting him, she didn’t show her face and he didn’t show his either. There was zero pressure and nothing but great times were had. He’s welcome to visit her again any time (as she impresses upon him sometimes without hopefully being too pushy). This was such a positive experience for both of the litsters. The litster girl left the next morning elated and excited, with a newfound feeling of freedom and adventure... so she of course wanted more.

She knew there would always be someone there to care for her emotional needs (which she keeps firmly pressed to E at all times: the keeper of her heart), so she felt comfortable spreading her wings a little and trying new things. She found some local people to go out with who weren’t from lit. It was different. Not as fulfilling as sharing time with the other litster: the man who knew her mind a bit more and already knew her likes and desires to some existent. Then she happened upon someone who was a bedroom fit for her (and nothing past the bedroom) which was great, until he didn’t want her anymore because she is married (oh, I left that part out, huh? Yeah, she’s totally married!) so he dumped her in a text and she felt a huge loss. A loss she didn’t think was possible to feel. She ran to E and her pillow fort and hid away all her feelings, not allowing them to see anyone else some days. She didn’t feel worthy of anyone else.

She was feeling especially vulnerable when a new lit guy from nearby makes his move. She tells him she’s leery of meeting him because they don’t seem compatible, but this new guy still pushes. She tells him about all of the things that have lead her to where she is today and why she still didn’t want to meet him. He shared some of his things with her too, so she felt a little better about just having a simple meeting with him, but nothing more. He wanted more. He wants more. She finally agreed to meet him at a coffee shop in the middle of the day. She thought it would be safe. They sat and talked and it was easy and felt okay, but she didn’t feel the spark that she had with the other litster. At the end of their meeting there was a polite hug that she felt lasted too long and then she was mortified when he grabbed her ass in the middle of the shop. She didn’t know what to say. What to do. She was speechless. Is she nothing but a piece of meat to be kneaded? No. She is so much more than that.

She ran back to her pillow fort and wanted to die. She wanted to clarify that she didn’t want to be near this other lit guy again, but also wanted to know why he would embarrass her so readily. So she messaged him asking why. He could give her no real reason. He also would not listen to her, so she said “good bye” for the last time. She removed him from her messenger app and ignored him on lit. The problem is, although we can ignore someone here on lit, we can’t *not* see when they post things right after you or on your picture thread. You just don’t see the content of the post.

She is starting to get fed up with the lit stalking and tonight she wanted to write a little warning to herself for the future: be more cautious about when real life and lit meet. Don’t be pushed, EVER, into something you’re unsure about again, okay?!

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Moochienanu said:

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, few have seen it, but everybody talks
Spirits follow everywhere I go
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, and what ain't living can never really die
You don't want me baby please don't lie
Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why
I said if you're leaving, I gotta know why
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh and the moonlight baby shows you whats real
There ain't a language for the things I feel
And if I can't have you then no one ever will
Oh, if I can't have you then no one ever will

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
Oh go on baby, hurt me tonight
I want ours to be an endless song
Baby in my eyes you do no wrong
I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
So go on baby hurt me tonight
All the spirits that I know I saw
Do you see no ghost in me at all
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

-Lord Huron

I’ve decided to take a break from the lit forums for a while. It’s become something I never wanted it to be. I continue to hurt people I care for simply by being myself here, and rather than change to make someone else happy (no one should ever do that), I’ve decided to stop coming here for a bit and obsessing/overthinking everything I post (which seems to not help things either). I am hoping to refocus myself on the things I think matter most to me.

I imagine this will be difficult at first, to not check lit the moment I wake or right before I sleep... but I know in time it will be easy as I’ve done it before. Perhaps I will find myself able to come back once I feel I can no longer be distracted so easily by it. I will continue to write, as it is important to me that I have an outlet for my creative side that I can also keep anonymous. Maybe I will have enough to post daily when I return. Who knows?

I do know you will be just fine without me... for however long I’m gone.

I’ve attached a picture of the sunrise yesterday. It was so breathtakingly beautiful... and it’s been raining since.

“I don’t feel it till it hurts sometimes.”

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Moochienanu said:

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, few have seen it, but everybody talks
Spirits follow everywhere I go
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, and what ain't living can never really die
You don't want me baby please don't lie
Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why
I said if you're leaving, I gotta know why
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh and the moonlight baby shows you whats real
There ain't a language for the things I feel
And if I can't have you then no one ever will
Oh, if I can't have you then no one ever will

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
Oh go on baby, hurt me tonight
I want ours to be an endless song
Baby in my eyes you do no wrong
I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
So go on baby hurt me tonight
All the spirits that I know I saw
Do you see no ghost in me at all
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

-Lord Huron

I’ve decided to take a break from the lit forums for a while. It’s become something I never wanted it to be. I continue to hurt people I care for simply by being myself here, and rather than change to make someone else happy (no one should ever do that), I’ve decided to stop coming here for a bit and obsessing/overthinking everything I post (which seems to not help things either). I am hoping to refocus myself on the things I think matter most to me.

I imagine this will be difficult at first, to not check lit the moment I wake or right before I sleep... but I know in time it will be easy as I’ve done it before. Perhaps I will find myself able to come back once I feel I can no longer be distracted so easily by it. I will continue to write, as it is important to me that I have an outlet for my creative side that I can also keep anonymous. Maybe I will have enough to post daily when I return. Who knows?

I do know you will be just fine without me... for however long I’m gone.

I’ve attached a picture of the sunrise yesterday. It was so breathtakingly beautiful... and it’s been raining since.

“I don’t feel it till it hurts sometimes.”

Click to expand...

Moochienanu said:

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, few have seen it, but everybody talks
Spirits follow everywhere I go
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, and what ain't living can never really die
You don't want me baby please don't lie
Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why
I said if you're leaving, I gotta know why
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh and the moonlight baby shows you whats real
There ain't a language for the things I feel
And if I can't have you then no one ever will
Oh, if I can't have you then no one ever will

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
Oh go on baby, hurt me tonight
I want ours to be an endless song
Baby in my eyes you do no wrong
I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
So go on baby hurt me tonight
All the spirits that I know I saw
Do you see no ghost in me at all
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

-Lord Huron

I’ve decided to take a break from the lit forums for a while. It’s become something I never wanted it to be. I continue to hurt people I care for simply by being myself here, and rather than change to make someone else happy (no one should ever do that), I’ve decided to stop coming here for a bit and obsessing/overthinking everything I post (which seems to not help things either). I am hoping to refocus myself on the things I think matter most to me.

I imagine this will be difficult at first, to not check lit the moment I wake or right before I sleep... but I know in time it will be easy as I’ve done it before. Perhaps I will find myself able to come back once I feel I can no longer be distracted so easily by it. I will continue to write, as it is important to me that I have an outlet for my creative side that I can also keep anonymous. Maybe I will have enough to post daily when I return. Who knows?

I do know you will be just fine without me... for however long I’m gone.

I’ve attached a picture of the sunrise yesterday. It was so breathtakingly beautiful... and it’s been raining since.

“I don’t feel it till it hurts sometimes.”

Click to expand...

Moochienanu said:

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, few have seen it, but everybody talks
Spirits follow everywhere I go
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, and what ain't living can never really die
You don't want me baby please don't lie
Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why
I said if you're leaving, I gotta know why
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh and the moonlight baby shows you whats real
There ain't a language for the things I feel
And if I can't have you then no one ever will
Oh, if I can't have you then no one ever will

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
Oh go on baby, hurt me tonight
I want ours to be an endless song
Baby in my eyes you do no wrong
I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
So go on baby hurt me tonight
All the spirits that I know I saw
Do you see no ghost in me at all
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

-Lord Huron

I’ve decided to take a break from the lit forums for a while. It’s become something I never wanted it to be. I continue to hurt people I care for simply by being myself here, and rather than change to make someone else happy (no one should ever do that), I’ve decided to stop coming here for a bit and obsessing/overthinking everything I post (which seems to not help things either). I am hoping to refocus myself on the things I think matter most to me.

I imagine this will be difficult at first, to not check lit the moment I wake or right before I sleep... but I know in time it will be easy as I’ve done it before. Perhaps I will find myself able to come back once I feel I can no longer be distracted so easily by it. I will continue to write, as it is important to me that I have an outlet for my creative side that I can also keep anonymous. Maybe I will have enough to post daily when I return. Who knows?

I do know you will be just fine without me... for however long I’m gone.

I’ve attached a picture of the sunrise yesterday. It was so breathtakingly beautiful... and it’s been raining since.

“I don’t feel it till it hurts sometimes.”

Click to expand...

Moochienanu said:

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, few have seen it, but everybody talks
Spirits follow everywhere I go
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
Oh they sing all day and they haunt me in the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh, and what ain't living can never really die
You don't want me baby please don't lie
Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why
I said if you're leaving, I gotta know why
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

Yes I know that love is like ghosts
Oh and the moonlight baby shows you whats real
There ain't a language for the things I feel
And if I can't have you then no one ever will
Oh, if I can't have you then no one ever will

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
Oh go on baby, hurt me tonight
I want ours to be an endless song
Baby in my eyes you do no wrong
I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes
So go on baby hurt me tonight
All the spirits that I know I saw
Do you see no ghost in me at all
Oh I sing all day and I love you through the night

-Lord Huron

I’ve decided to take a break from the lit forums for a while. It’s become something I never wanted it to be. I continue to hurt people I care for simply by being myself here, and rather than change to make someone else happy (no one should ever do that), I’ve decided to stop coming here for a bit and obsessing/overthinking everything I post (which seems to not help things either). I am hoping to refocus myself on the things I think matter most to me.

I imagine this will be difficult at first, to not check lit the moment I wake or right before I sleep... but I know in time it will be easy as I’ve done it before. Perhaps I will find myself able to come back once I feel I can no longer be distracted so easily by it. I will continue to write, as it is important to me that I have an outlet for my creative side that I can also keep anonymous. Maybe I will have enough to post daily when I return. Who knows?

I do know you will be just fine without me... for however long I’m gone.

I’ve attached a picture of the sunrise yesterday. It was so breathtakingly beautiful... and it’s been raining since.

“I don’t feel it till it hurts sometimes.”

Click to expand...

thinkingofyou3000 said:

Awwww...to have you in the tub and explore your gorgeous body under the bubbles and finding your special spot to let you really relax

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toeskr said:

Ooooh, I see the toes. Lovely!

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Thought you might like those!

Awaywego said:

That openess and candor! I think you will find most of us have your back.

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Ironfan said:

Sorry to hear you've had problems.

Suppose it's the downside of anonymous forums that people can act how they want, with people they don't know. Frees them to explore the darker more wanton side of their personality.

Sad that he didn't realise that written behaviour and in person behaviour are two different things.

Great picture as well. Love the blue colour.

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Dribble said:

Trust...it takes forever to build and maintain and only seconds to destroy. But I know my internet hugs are more real than many's real ones. Trust...is earned

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Todger65 said:

I agree Lit meets should be taken with caution, no two are alike. It is important before meeting, to get the air clear by both knowing the status of the other. It is better to say up front, sorry I am not comfortable meeting with a married person rather than wait, hoping to get a one off liaison and then drop the bombshell

There is no reason at all for anyone to be stalked after it is made clear that they are not welcome, however amicable or not the parting is.

I hope now you have put this on an open forum, the person in question now knows how much upset they are causing, and ceases immediately.

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Moochienanu said:

Hold on, darling
This body is yours,
This body is yours and mine
Well hold on, my darling
This mess was yours,
Now your mess is mine

I tell E. a secret while we shower. A big secret I’ve only told my husband once before. As he uses the body soap as a lotion on my shoulders and massage me to a point of putty, I tell him that I want to visit a sex club some day. “What?!” Is the only way I can describe E.’s facial expression. Of course, he think it’s really hot, but the whole thing seems completely uncharacteristic for me. He keeps the “what?!” To himself and instead as me “why?” E knows me too well. The hot water falls on us as I look in his eyes and I confide through flaming cheeks, that It’s because I secretly really want to be seen having sex. I think there’s something about the exhibitionist in me... to have someone else seeing us in the height of pleasure. My self image is awful. He knows this. And yet, there is this thought that someone seeing us, catching us, enjoying us? It gets me very excited. E.’s now very intrigued by this thought, and let’s it show on his face. His eyes get a little brighter. I know he’s working something out in his mind, but I can’t tell what.

We finish up in the shower and towel off, stepping into our hotel room. Before I can put any clothes on, though, E. tells me to get on the bed, put my knees on the edge of the bed, and my chest down. He wants me to present myself... I love to do this for him even though it makes me feel the most vulnerable. I feel him walk up behind me, looking at me. His hand caresses the smooth, clean skin of my ass before he snaps back and smacks it. That searing feeling wakes me and excites me more. His nails run down both of my thighs and he kisses each of my bruises, apologies. I sigh.

He commands me to lift my head and look ahead into the mirrored hotel room wall. I see him there, looking at me with those eyes of his that make me feel lost and found at the same time. He commands my entire attention in that mirror. I see him smirk a little as he says “no, you’re going to watch yourself. I don’t want to see your eyes leave your gorgeous body.” I cringe and he smacks my ass again. “What did I say?” E. asks. I mumble a reply and he pulls my hair so I’m up on all fours on the bed. I look at myself and see only flaws as he thrusts into me slowly from behind. Only my sagging skin, the stretch marks, the tired face. My whole body starts to move with his. Then I hear is E whispering encouragements in my ear, “Don’t you dare stop looking at how beautiful you are right now.” “Gods, you’re so fucking sexy! Look at you, Kitten.” I start to believe him. I start to see what he sees and I let go enough to really enjoy seeing myself enjoying him. The look on my face... I know he’s watching me and I’m watching me... we cum together, culminating with a pause that causes all the world to leave us and my body sings a song with his name on my lips.

We collapse on the bed, me in his arms. E. smiles at me and pushes a lock of my hair out of my face, kissing me softly. “So... next is you pressed against the window, My little exhibitionist.”

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Moochienanu said:

I do like meeting new people, but I am going to start listening to my gut more often before I let things like this happen again.

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