Why are you Dominant?

Removed

When I was younger I went though unwanted sexual attention. Most would call it abuse, but as I grew up I thought something was wrong with me because I would remember the older girl touching me and I liked getting hard to the thought of a woman by the early age of 11. I felt like it caused me to lose control of myself. I told my parents and they got help. But it wasn't enough. When I was 15 I saw HBO's Real Sex and it showed a BDSM couple. It it got to me in ways I didn't understand. So I started to look up and read about BDSM, bondage, power play, control play, well everything I could find.

By 19 I was in college and I felt a need to find the deeper part of who I was inside. So I did some looking and found a Mistress willing to teach and show me the way and the ropes. At first I thought it was a submissive path for my life. But as I talked and learned from my mentor I also healed from my past and felt right being the real me a Dominate in fact a older style loving dominate is what she called me.

Being a Dominate is powerful and almost beyond the world for me at times. Because I believe it makes trust and love deeper being able to trust someone to give themselves to you. As long as you give back the trust, honor, and respect to the submissive and earn the right to take them.

And finally I am a Dominate because it is who I am and fits like a perfect suit of the guy I am. Inside and out.

In the most basic sense, it provides me with mental and physical arousal.

On a deeper level I enjoy the power of control or the allusion of control as in many ways the submissive dictates the experience. The ability to evoke desires and fantasies of a submissive that could otherwise lie dormant and/or unfulfilled is intoxicating. Guiding them to release themselves from the metaphorical restraints that hold them back, and ironically at times placing restraints that hold them back when they seek gratification.

It is also the feeling of being wanted, needed, and the desire for the submissive to please. Having the ability to listen, comfort, and being a stable person that can be relied on to help with everyday struggles. Provide praise when the submissive deserves it, to make her realize why she is special, why she is mine, and why I am hers.

Finally, when the situation calls for it, my desire for imposing my physical will in cases of punishment and reward. I'm not quite a sadist as I don't wish to inflict true detrimental pain neither physical or mental. I just provide a firm hand and desire rough sexual activity.

While the role of a dominate can be very manipulative and selfish in many ways, it still comes down to the same wants and needs of the submissive. To provide pleasure, comfort, and companionship, mutual satisfaction.

I don't know if Dom/sub is the best description for the relationships that I enjoy. Perhaps a better label would be Owner/owned. But whatever you call it, I enjoy both the responsibilities and the privileges that come with that relationship. One of my greatest pleasures is the sense of accomplishment I had when a partner who had been as inexperienced, virginal, and vanilla as they come began calling me "Master" of her own free will. I hadn't even brought up labels yet but she recognized her own need not only for a trainer but also for a protector and a provider.