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Why is there a lack of Mommies, but no lack of Mistresses

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mikeRotch69

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Jun 16, 2009
Posts
333
Hello all,

As someone who dabbles in being a Dom and often a Daddy Dom, I've often noticed that are very few or almost no Mommies around. Of course I have limited experience in the scene but I've always wondered why this discrepancy exists especially when compared to the number of Dommes or Mistresses there are.

It definitely isn't for a lack of demand, I'm sure you can find plenty of young guys out there looking to find a Mommy. Personally I find the appeal of a Mommy much greater than one of a Mistress. Or at least I imagine it would be better, there is less feminizing and humiliation involved and more caring and nurturing with some amounts of discipline. Exactly what a Daddy Dom would be like.

So what do you feel is the reason? Is it that male subs aren't into it? Perhaps there are more women who want to torment and exert power rather than nurture and care? Just curious about everyone's opinions on it.
 
mikeRotch69 said:
I've often noticed that are very few or almost no Mommies around. Of course I have limited experience in the scene but I've always wondered why this discrepancy exists especially when compared to the number of Dommes or Mistresses there are.
Click to expand...


My take:
There is not enough difference from a wife to make it a kink.
 
Yeah...

I know there are a few Mommy dommes out there. Myself, i find the idea viscerally nauseating.

I have two kids and motherhood is such a powerful force -- changed my life, pirated my identity away from me, made me ultimately responsible for two human beings and saddled me with cultural baggage that I will never get past. I could never find sexual or romantic gratification from being a mommy. It's purely a service job. You couldn't pay me enough.
 
Stella_Omega said:
Yeah...

I know there are a few Mommy dommes out there. Myself, i find the idea viscerally nauseating.

I have two kids and motherhood is such a powerful force -- changed my life, pirated my identity away from me, made me ultimately responsible for two human beings and saddled me with cultural baggage that I will never get past. I could never find sexual or romantic gratification from being a mommy. It's purely a service job. You couldn't pay me enough.
Click to expand...

There are so very FEW of them. I suppose that makes sense why there isn't any, initially I thought that was the reason as well. Because many women are ACTUAL mothers. However, there are also lots of men who are ACTUAL fathers as well, yet you see PLENTY of Daddies out there.

I'll be honest, I would be curious what a Mommy domme is like... I've never even met one! Mistresses are plenty and I definitely know I wouldn't want to be a sub to them and they feel the same about me haha.
 
I think most women get enough caring and nurturing done in their life without adding it as a kink.
 
Stella_Omega said:
Yeah...

I know there are a few Mommy dommes out there. Myself, i find the idea viscerally nauseating.

I have two kids and motherhood is such a powerful force -- changed my life, pirated my identity away from me, made me ultimately responsible for two human beings and saddled me with cultural baggage that I will never get past. I could never find sexual or romantic gratification from being a mommy. It's purely a service job. You couldn't pay me enough.
Click to expand...

^^THIS!!!^^
 
Stag of Oberon said:
The reverse certainly applies too... or does it?
Click to expand...

Indeed it does for me. It is not the idea of incest that turns me off, but the idea of infantile in that context. What I already said about "the brat" issue, I cannot stand childish anywhere near my sexual feelings.
 
mikeRotch69 said:
Hello all,

As someone who dabbles in being a Dom and often a Daddy Dom, I've often noticed that are very few or almost no Mommies around. Of course I have limited experience in the scene but I've always wondered why this discrepancy exists especially when compared to the number of Dommes or Mistresses there are.

It definitely isn't for a lack of demand, I'm sure you can find plenty of young guys out there looking to find a Mommy. Personally I find the appeal of a Mommy much greater than one of a Mistress. Or at least I imagine it would be better, there is less feminizing and humiliation involved and more caring and nurturing with some amounts of discipline. Exactly what a Daddy Dom would be like.

So what do you feel is the reason? Is it that male subs aren't into it? Perhaps there are more women who want to torment and exert power rather than nurture and care? Just curious about everyone's opinions on it.
Click to expand...

I think you might have the wrong impression of female dominants. I'm not going to say that feminization and humiliation don't exist, but I find it to be more common in online interactions, professionals, porn, and as something highly desired by some male subs. In my relationship I am caring and nurturing, simply because that's how I treat people I love. Like my SO.

The Mommies I've come across seem to be into age-play, which is not my cup of tea. They are rare, but not impossible to come across.
 
damselfly_ said:
I think you might have the wrong impression of female dominants. I'm not going to say that feminization and humiliation don't exist, but I find it to be more common in online interactions, professionals, porn, and as something highly desired by some male subs. In my relationship I am caring and nurturing, simply because that's how I treat people I love. Like my SO.

The Mommies I've come across seem to be into age-play, which is not my cup of tea. They are rare, but not impossible to come across.
Click to expand...

Wait a minute.
Are you saying that dommes who are into humiliation and not nurturing, loving and caring are somehow not "true dommes" but cyber players, porn actresses and professionals?

I think you are the one with the wrong impression of a LOT of female dominants.
 
StrayKat said:
Wait a minute.
Are you saying that dommes who are into humiliation and not nurturing, loving and caring are somehow not "true dommes" but cyber players, porn actresses and professionals?

I think you are the one with the wrong impression of a LOT of female dominants.
Click to expand...

Not at all! I'm truly sorry that's how it came off. I'll try and elaborate.

I was trying to address some of the domme stereotypes, and say that it's not the only way that they exist. The OP made it sound like the majority of what happens in a d/s relationship consisted of feminization and humiliation without caring and nurturing, which hasn't been my experience.

I brought up the porn and such simply because that's where I've come across it most. I meant the feminization more than the humiliation, but I'd just woken up, and was inartful with my explanation.

For the record, I don't think that humiliation and nurturing are mutually exclusive. To the contrary, I've had both present in my relationships in the past. I will drink tea before I post in the future.:rose:
 
mikeRotch69 said:
Hello all,

As someone who dabbles in being a Dom and often a Daddy Dom, I've often noticed that are very few or almost no Mommies around. Of course I have limited experience in the scene but I've always wondered why this discrepancy exists especially when compared to the number of Dommes or Mistresses there are.

It definitely isn't for a lack of demand, I'm sure you can find plenty of young guys out there looking to find a Mommy. Personally I find the appeal of a Mommy much greater than one of a Mistress. Or at least I imagine it would be better, there is less feminizing and humiliation involved and more caring and nurturing with some amounts of discipline. Exactly what a Daddy Dom would be like.

So what do you feel is the reason? Is it that male subs aren't into it? Perhaps there are more women who want to torment and exert power rather than nurture and care? Just curious about everyone's opinions on it.
Click to expand...

I'm always getting approached here to be a mommy. I just think there aren't many real women on this forum.
 
BettyPoop said:
I'm always getting approached here to be a mommy. I just think there aren't many real women on this forum.
Click to expand...

Obviously your sweet and nurturing personality just speaks to them on a very basic and primal level.
 
The only time I really got into a Mommy scene for my own fun, it involved plastic bagging and forced cigar smoking with "baby."

If there's a wrong way to do a female archetype, by God, I'll find it.

OP - because guys do not get a lot of positive strokes for being nurturing and parental. It feels like new uncharted territory.

Women get no way out of being nurturing to everyone else around them, so when we go exploring in other territory it feels uncharted and badass. At least, for me.

And frankly, I want that uncharted badassery in my panties.
 
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Rather than trying to quote all I'll just go with this:

Stella_Omega said:
Yeah...

I know there are a few Mommy dommes out there. Myself, i find the idea viscerally nauseating.

I have two kids and motherhood is such a powerful force -- changed my life, pirated my identity away from me, made me ultimately responsible for two human beings and saddled me with cultural baggage that I will never get past. I could never find sexual or romantic gratification from being a mommy. It's purely a service job. You couldn't pay me enough.
Click to expand...

As the oldest child in a very dysfunctional family I've been taking care of other people my entire life. I just can't imagine wanting to do it recreationally.

I don't know that I'm actually nauseated by the idea, but I'm certainly turned off by emotionally needy men in real life. I dated - briefly - this one particularly gorgeous specimen. He was blond, 6'7", with a spec-tac-cu-lar body.

He also whined.

A lot.

Every time he opened his mouth I wanted to shred him with my teeth. :rolleyes:
 
mikeRotch69 said:
There are so very FEW of them. I suppose that makes sense why there isn't any, initially I thought that was the reason as well. Because many women are ACTUAL mothers. However, there are also lots of men who are ACTUAL fathers as well, yet you see PLENTY of Daddies out there.

I'll be honest, I would be curious what a Mommy domme is like... I've never even met one! Mistresses are plenty and I definitely know I wouldn't want to be a sub to them and they feel the same about me haha.
Click to expand...

Show me a man whose body is basically invaded by his uterus, his endocrine system hijacked by a parasitical being, and then he spends three years recovering from that nearly-viral infection on a cellular level*-- and then we can talk about ACTUAL fathers not wanting to play Daddy.

The fact is, "Daddy" has a whole set of cultural connotations that are taboo to "mommy..." Although we do say things like "hey pretty mama" and such.


*I just read a paper on this and it was hair-raising and damned if I can find it again, grr.
 
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damselfly_ said:
I think you might have the wrong impression of female dominants. I'm not going to say that feminization and humiliation don't exist, but I find it to be more common in online interactions, professionals, porn, and as something highly desired by some male subs. In my relationship I am caring and nurturing, simply because that's how I treat people I love. Like my SO.

The Mommies I've come across seem to be into age-play, which is not my cup of tea. They are rare, but not impossible to come across.
Click to expand...

I've actually not come across any Mommies at all, much less any into age play! I assume they are definitely not from Lit, but I'd be curious to talk to one or two of them since they are SO rare.
 
mikeRotch69 said:
I've actually not come across any Mommies at all, much less any into age play! I assume they are definitely not from Lit, but I'd be curious to talk to one or two of them since they are SO rare.
Click to expand...

Fetlife would be a good place to start. I just looked, and there are 373 groups there with "Mommy" in the title. You could ask whatever questions you have to a group of them. :)
 
Stella_Omega said:
Show me a man whose body is basically invaded by his uterus, his endocrine system hijacked by a parasitical being, who then spends three years recovering from that nearly-viral infection on a cellular level*-- and then we can talk about ACTUAL fathers not wanting to play Daddy.

The fact is, "Daddy" has a whole set of cultural connotations that are taboo to "mommy..." Although we do say things like "hey pretty mama" and such.


*I just read a paper on this and it was hair-raising and damned if I can find it again, grr.
Click to expand...

I love how much you're talking over the OP's head. :rolleyes:

And I'm really interested in reading such a paper, but at the same time it would probably trigger some pretty massive dysphoria and anxiety. :/
 
StrayKat said:
Oh cammon Stella, having a baby is not really that bad :)
Click to expand...
yeah, my description really sounds "bad" doesn't it? It's not horrible, but it is incredibly powerful.

No other animal on this planet does pregnancy like humans do. Not even the other apes. A human fetus is not a passive passenger. It establishes a dialogue, so to speak, with its' host very early on, transferring hormones across the placenta, controlling bloodflow, optimising the natal environment.

Human neonates have a lot at stake-- we are helpless for very long time. We have to stack the odds as much as possible, try to make sure our mother will keep us alive that long. We do well with it, on the whole... But I have zero interest in recreating any of that in bed with a lover.
 
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Stella_Omega said:
yeah, my description really sounds "bad" doesn't it? It's not horrible, but it is incredibly powerful.

No other animal on this planet does pregnancy like humans do. Not even the other apes. A human fetus is not a passive passenger. It establishes a dialogue, so to speak, with its' host very early on, transferring hormones across the placenta, controlling bloodflow, optimising the natal environment.

Human neonates have a lot at stake-- we are helpless for very long time. We have to stack the odds as much as possible, try to make sure our mother will keep us alive that long. We do okay...
Click to expand...

Well, when you talk about infection and parasites it does sound bad.

I had a misfortune to have one very risky pregnancy in hands of overly careful doctor, so I was too worried about keeping my baby to enjoy any of it.
But my second one - that was nothing short of miracle. I never felt better in my life. I never looked better, what a lot of people told me. I was full of energy, creative ideas, love for life and felt sexy as hell. I would be pregnant all the time if I could, just to feel that way again.
My kids gave me a feeling of self value nothing else did in such amount. Even today, when I get depressed and feel like a failure, I look at them and think I cant be all that bad when I have such beautiful children. I still feel like it is a miracle of a sort that those two human beings are something I "made".

Call me a crazy mother hen :eek:
 
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