FAWC 5: Line, Please!

sr71plt said:

Regardless. The jump ahead in votes (all 5s) happened before JBJ commented on it. You've put your finger on it being a glaring anomaly. I'm very interested in what the sweeps do to it, if anything--and who wrote it. I have my theories too--but you're the one who brought it up.

I haven't read it and probably won't. I'll be lucky to get to the ones no longer than three pages. Apparently those who've read it enjoyed it--most of them not enough to comment on it or favorite it, though.

Click to expand...

Concerning JBJ, I was talking to his trashing of "An Account of a Bullet", which I think did that story a nice solid.

As to identities, I would bet heavy money that I know the authors of each of those pieces. I could be wrong. Hell, maybe I wrote both of them. *shifty eyes*

Either way, it's of little consequence. This game is a lot like Whose Line is it Anyway? Everything's made up and the points don't matter. Also, Wayne Brady always wins.

FAWCker said:

No, it would only be in this case and it wouldn't be an actual change to anything, just a clarification. "Winning" is secondary anyway. If a story happens to get the highest score with only six votes, then that's what happens. But if there's only one vote, I think that's where an executive decision might nix it. Might.

No need to fret about possibilities, though, until if and when it happens.

Click to expand...

It wasn't far off happening last time. My eight-vote story came in a not-distant third. (That it lost more than half its votes and zipped up in rating was sickeningly like a regular Lit. contest.) Suggesting invoking a midstream decision on such a thing does, to me, put quite a bit of weight on "winning."

Easy there kids. The pool is for fun lets not drown each other in it.

Nothing's perfect. Fuck the scores. Fuck the votes. I didn't really hop onboard with that in mind. What we have is a collection of talented multifaceted authors. I wanted to watch them work, and explore the awesome and interesting places they take me. Then I can dissect their brains and learn from them, just as I can spill my innards for examination. Every trial makes us stronger.

...I mean, uh... it's all good fun n stuff. Yay!

That's a nice theory. It would be nice if it were so.

sr71plt said:

That's a nice theory. It would be nice if it were so.

Click to expand...

It is for me.

sr71plt said:

And do what? Research 25 Chain Stories category stories just knowing that one of them is a Loving Wives story? I don't see beating this to death--the sweeps may or may not be revealing--but I wasn't born tomorrow. There's only so much gullibility to invoke on this--and you possibly think that inveterate LW junky readers are more intelligent than I do.

Click to expand...

Nope. But we're only talking 9 votes at that point. I don't think it's out of the question that 9 LW readers in the world got up at 3 am to check out the new list on Monday. When they saw the list said, "What the fuck is this shit?" and proceeded to click through some of the stories on the off chance that they'd find a cuck or BTB story hidden in the pile (since F5 took up most of the page). And maybe it's only 5 readers with their multiple votes. Who knows, but I don't think it's out of the question, considering the number of LW readers.

We've seen authors called out before. I don't think I'm the only one who could have figured it out before they lost interest. My one LW story had almost a hundred votes before I even reached for my phone the morning it went up. I don't think 9 votes is all that far-fetched.

I love that every time we talk, we fight. Always a good time.

Well, sure, there's no law against either of you choosing to be gullible.

(And there are those who are pleased that this is so as encouragement to continue doing what they do.)

AMoveableBeast said:

Concerning JBJ, I was talking to his trashing of "An Account of a Bullet", which I think did that story a nice solid.

As to identities, I would bet heavy money that I know the authors of each of those pieces. I could be wrong. Hell, maybe I wrote both of them. *shifty eyes*

Either way, it's of little consequence. This game is a lot like Whose Line is it Anyway? Everything's made up and the points don't matter. Also, Wayne Brady always wins.

Click to expand...

Say what you want but my TRASHING is based on fact I didn't make up the writers errors. Its no less bonafide than another writer sticking a penis in an ear to make a child. No doubt youd howl there, too, if I complained.

You post whatever serves your jabbing "hey look at me" agendas that have nothing to do with story content, JBJ. You admitted as much in your post #471. You can only play this game so long without tripping over your own forked tongue.

sr71plt said:

You post whatever serves your jabbing "hey look at me" agendas that have nothing to do with story content, JBJ. You admitted as much in your post #471. You can only play this game so long without tripping over your own forked tongue.

Click to expand...

Hows all your stories doing? Sucking? Some of your 3s could become 2s.

And such stories that you have, JBJ, that your thin skin hasn't already blanked voting out on could go down to a 1 if any of those you accuse of voting them down actually did so. So, what's your point, other than digging yourself toward China in your two-faced, "hey, give me attention," posts?

sr71plt said:

And such stories that you have, JBJ, that your thin skin hasn't already blanked voting out on could go down to a 1 if any of those you accuse of voting them down actually did so. So, what's your point, other than digging yourself toward China in your two-faced, "hey, give me attention," posts?

Click to expand...

I found 2 of your stories.

Actually my stories are floating upwards, significantly so. I'm surprised.

The more I read stories from this contest, the more I like them. I think a few of them are criminally underrated. I know FAWC is a tough crowd, but the fact that stories like "Escape" and "Bluetooth" and "The Midnight Ball" have at times been in danger of dropping below a four seems harsh. Those are solid stories. I can see a four, easy, even a three, but certainly no lower than that.

I'd like to hear some people tell me, if they voted any of those lower than a three, why they did so.

I may be accused of being too easy, or too kind here, but I don't agree. Not liking something is fine, I suppose, if you are voting your preferences, but if you are voting your unbiased writer's opinion, you really think that any of those rate a two, or, God, a one?

AMoveableBeast said:

The more I read stories from this contest, the more I like them. I think a few of them are criminally underrated. I know FAWC is a tough crowd, but the fact that stories like "Escape" and "Bluetooth" and "The Midnight Ball" have at times been in danger of dropping below a four seems harsh. Those are solid stories. I can see a four, easy, even a three, but certainly no lower than that.

I'd like to hear some people tell me, if they voted any of those lower than a three, why they did so.

I may be accused of being too easy, or too kind here, but I don't agree. Not liking something is fine, I suppose, if you are voting your preferences, but if you are voting your unbiased writer's opinion, you really think that any of those rate a two, or, God, a one?

Click to expand...

I've only read a handful. Haven't rated below a four except on one that I thought was ho hum and wasn't helped a bit by distracting technicals and rated it a three, because there really should be some differentiation across the board. The ratings on most are drifting down today, it seems. But, again, where this is going, unfortunately, won't be clear until there are sweeps. Even this exercise can't escape the gamesmenship that goes on on Lit.

JAMESBJOHNSON said:

I found 2 of your stories.

Click to expand...

Well, then, go for it. (You could find 681 of my stories, if you bothered to look), since it's what titilates your tormented little mind. The funny thing is that you continue to act as if I value anything you do/post--that's the really funny thing.

AMoveableBeast said:

The more I read stories from this contest, the more I like them. I think a few of them are criminally underrated. I know FAWC is a tough crowd, but the fact that stories like "Escape" and "Bluetooth" and "The Midnight Ball" have at times been in danger of dropping below a four seems harsh. Those are solid stories. I can see a four, easy, even a three, but certainly no lower than that.

I'd like to hear some people tell me, if they voted any of those lower than a three, why they did so.

I may be accused of being too easy, or too kind here, but I don't agree. Not liking something is fine, I suppose, if you are voting your preferences, but if you are voting your unbiased writer's opinion, you really think that any of those rate a two, or, God, a one?

Click to expand...

Naaah. Some are headed for 2 territory. The gang are trading 5s and multi-voting but the low scores are real. Its not a good harvest this round.

I'm just making the list easier to find.

FAWCker said:

Now that all the stories are pending, I'll go ahead and list the authors who contributed to this FAWC. They are listed in no particular order.

Blind_Justice
Sabb
patientlee
sr71plt
slyc_willie
PennLady
_Lynn_
jomar
Jagfarlane
stlgoddessfreya
MSTarot
drteetho
Sheablue
Tamlin
Aynmair
SecondCircle
Seanathon
AMoveableBeast
Saxon_Hart
Swilly
TxTallTales
xelliebabex

22 writers, 25 stories. As before, I am not revealing who wrote more than one story.

Click to expand...

JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Naaah. Some are headed for 2 territory. The gang are trading 5s and multi-voting but the low scores are real. Its not a good harvest this round.

Click to expand...

Would you care to offer a critique, or just more universal panning?

(I know. I know. I should ignore you. But I'm like Luke fucking Skywalker, here. I know there is good in you. Search your feelings, JBJ….I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.)

AMoveableBeast said:

Would you care to offer a critique, or just more universal panning?

(I know. I know. I should ignore you. But I'm like Luke fucking Skywalker, here. I know there is good in you. Search your feelings, JBJ….I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.)

Click to expand...

I'm Mister Laid Back.

If you cant see the problems you wont see what I point out, or youll discount them with a confession of how you like bad writing.

The easy button writing guru.

sr71plt said:

The easy button writing guru.

Click to expand...

The Beast prolly likes misspelled words, too.

JAMESBJOHNSON said:

I'm Mister Laid Back.

If you cant see the problems you wont see what I point out, or youll discount them with a confession of how you like bad writing.

Click to expand...

Balderdash. I'm all about calling spades what they are, but if you're going to bury me, at least show me the shovel--none of this unmarked grave "bad harvest" nonsense. Show me the rotten fruits of my effort.

Considering I'm the organizer of FAWC, I'm not voting on any of the stories. But there's no reason why I can't offer a critique when I get the time to read some of the stories here and there. I chose one of them at random.

F5: Mesmerized

Spoiler alert. Don't read this post if you haven't read the story itself.

I thought this story sort of crawled out of the starting gate. After the first several paragraphs, it wasn't clear to me where Shawn and Clara were. Was it an apartment? A business? A haunted house? And I wasn't sure if Shawn and Clara were lovers or just friends. There were a few phrases here and there that suggested Clara at least wanted to be Shawn's lover, but I couldn't see where the kind of relationship the two women had was established.

There was also one little passage that jarred me. I had a hard time imagining one of the eyeballs in the jar "winking."

After that, though, I found the story easier to follow and engaging. The seance scene was very B-movie to me, but I'll be honest and admit I would probably have written it the same way. It's hard to depict a seance, I think, without it seeming cliched. The descriptions of Clara's light-headedness and the fact that something was happening to her were done pretty well, I thought. And the idea that Shawn and Annalise obviously expected something to happen -- but to Shawn -- reinforced the reality of the situation against Clara's more than apparent skepticism.

But that made me wonder, in light of what subsequently happened with Clara, as to the motives of the other two women. Was Shawn expecting to be overtaken by the spirit of an 18th-century sociopath? If so, why? And why would Annalise assist in bringing this "black soul" back from the grave, if she expected Shawn to be possessed?

I would like to see the story developed further to explore these motives.

The masturbation scene was strangely erotic. It was probably the best-written part of the story, I thought, and didn't feel like it had just been put in there to make the story qualify as erotic. It felt necessary. Clara's fixation on the knife was nicely chilling, and her subsequent actions, all the way to the end, made sense. But the quick make-out session with Annalise was a little jumbled. Still, it added some interesting tension, which was felt all the way to the last sentence.

Overall, I liked Mesmerized. I think a little more clarity at the beginning as to where the women were, and what sort of relationship they had, would have helped, though.

patientlee said:

I'm not afraid to admit it. I take notes while I read. It's more fun than a crossword puzzle (and I do enjoy a good crossword puzzle). I also read the authors' other stories for comparison. It has nothing to do with obsession. I actually learn things about writing from analyzing what everyone else does.

(This is where my kids start calling me a nerd. I embrace that label.)

No. You may NOT borrow my notes!

ETA: Looking at discussions and comments isn't a reliable indicator, so I don't keep track of them. People lie and they comment on their own stories.

Click to expand...

I don't keep a matrix but the more of these I do the more i get a feel for the writers that are regulars in these contests and feel they are easier to pick, the last fawk I guessed the majority of them correctly but this time around there are too many writers who are unknown to me in there to confuse my sort of logic.

patientlee is usually pretty spot on with the guesses she says she knows, she always picks mine, or has in the past, not that its hard because they have had an Australian background and British English spelling. Even when I lie and comment on my own

So when we are all guessing I will probably just cheat off her predictions


On a different note: A wanted to thank Beast for his comments, I liked the one you left on mine, it was by no means glowing it told it like it is and I appreciate that. I have noticed you have done the same with others you have commented on too. So thanks

Edited: I have read 15 so far hoping to get through them all by the weekend so I can finish the nude day story I originally started before losing it's plot and muse even though i like the back up story i wrote instead.

F5: Bluetooth

Spoiler alert. Don't read this post if you haven't read the story itself.

This one also sort of stumbled out of the gate with the use of the first line. I didn't see how it related to the story as it unfolded, and felt confused as to why it was even there (other than it needed to be for this FAWC). But after the first few paragraphs, I started to get drawn in. I could very easily both see and hear Bruce. To me, he was a short, round-bodied something who spoke like a mix of Don King and a southern baptist preacher. Very entertaining, as I'm sure he was supposed to be.

Gary came across as your fairly typical, nondescript businessman. Also intentional, I assume. He was supposed to be the everyman type so that practically anyone could relate to his situation.

The use of the bluetooth devices made me think of Neo talking to Morpheus on the phone in the first Matrix. He wanted to follow instructions, but they seemed too strange. Unlike Neo, however, Gary followed through.

I felt that the interactions between Gary and Connie were interesting. Very robotic, though, especially with the voice in Gary's ear basically scolding him like a teacher whenever he went out of line. The vegetable fetish didn't do much for me other than to introduce something kinky to the story -- "Okay, so that's the fantasy Connie wanted. Got it." -- and was otherwise pretty comical to me.

The best part of this story was the last several paragraphs, where the opening line was repeated and the impetus for the story brought -- sort of -- round circle. Gary being faced with the moral question of living out his fantasy was well done. I could imagine him expecting, at some point during his various sexual escapades with FE, to be visited by a woman who would act the part of a woman being taken. Instead, he's given the choice of following through with the ultimate reality of the fantasy (and thereby committing rape), or backing down. I loved the twist. Well done. And the way it ended was perfect. Leave it to us to figure out what happened next.