How do you feel about friends with benefits?

Experience in Friends with Benefits

  • Never experienced, would NOT try it

    Votes: 11 2.9%
  • Never experienced, would like to though

    Votes: 121 32.4%
  • Have experienced, but turned out badly

    Votes: 17 4.5%
  • Have experienced, and would do it again

    Votes: 225 60.2%

  • Total voters
    374
It is possible, but you have to be very careful of emotions. I think as long as both people expect that there is as much communication and maintenance required in that type of relationship as with any other friendship, it's ok.

I had an amazing FWB when I was younger, before I was married. He and I were not compatible as a couple - far different in lifestyles - but we loved each other dearly (as well as not so dearly) and we were each other's go-to person for a couple of years. There was a lot of love and respect between us, though, and we knew that. It wasn't just about sex. We were truly friends with the occasional benefit of sex or making out, not fuck-buddies without all that much to say to one another.

The problem is that everyone knows what "benefits" are, but not everyone knows what "friendship" is.
 
I have had a FWB situation for over a year now and it is great. We both agree that we are too different to be anything but casual friends who love to fuck. I know someday she will meet a girl or guy that she falls in love with and that will end it. Until then I plan to enjoy!
 
Best. Invention. Ever!! As long as both of the parties involved have the right mindset for friends with benefits it is the best and most relaxing relationship that ever existed in my opinion. And by mindset I mean no jealousies, no disappointment should cuddling or pillow talk not evolve afterward, can hang out with others and not slip up as to let everybody around know what you're into with eachother, etc.
 
Had a few...

A couple of points I'd like to make. First everyone has a friend with benefits. Maybe the benefits aren't actually sex but every guy in here will agree that they have had fantasies about a friend. Second, friends with benefits is more natural I feel than a relationship. Men love sex and women love emotional attachment. So some of you men in here and plenty others, a woman may be using you for emotional release and you may not even know it. And finally, the unfortunate truth, at least for me is that this type of relationship never works out. It hasn't always ended poorly but one of the two involved always winds up not getting everything they wanted out of it. And that could mean emotionally or sexual. In conclusion, friends with benefits is great, if you both are truly committed and understand that's all BOTH of you want.
 
I'd say it can work, and has worked for me. But I agree with what some others have said about feelings. It can get very complicated if either party develops feelings for the other.
 
I have a FWB relationship with two different women who travel extensively and who don't have time for anything else
 
I like the idea...

...but in practice i am too emotionally needy it turns out.

I never really liked the way my ex would fuck like a porn-star then roll over, spent after cumming several times. I mean I get that sometimes I wore her the fuck out and we could get good and sweaty..(she used to say that when you have a drop of sweat roll off the tip of your nose whilst fucking, you are doing it right)..but a cuddle doesn't seem in retrospect too much to ask. Especially since I am at times anorgasmic.

I want a make-out buddy. I have had a hard time adjusting to modern sex life. you wouldn't think things would have changed so much in twenty years but i might as well be a time traveler.

When i was young you "dated" you were a man with a plan...even if you had no money you at least packed a picnic lunch and went to the park or fed stale bread to ducks...something. Girls don't want ANYTHING that smacks of romance,


My oldest daughter explained to me my problem. "Dad, you cant call it a date..its too much pressure, just tell them you want to 'hang out' (a phrase I detest)."

That phrase has gotten me laid more than once.

Too much pressure? When they are more than willing to fuck what is it that they are worried I am going to pressure them into? Cuddling??!? Apparently.

I do preselect for cuddle-rific capacity. I use a lot of handsy non-sexual touch and if they purrr a bit, i take them home if they don't I pass.

Its weird to me to think that as a middle-aged guy I am living every married guys fantasy, but i actually pass on twenty-somethings if they don't seem sufficiently horny.

People I know who have FWB's are usually not friends..there's usually something about the girl (or guy) that they really cant stand, but they like the sex. seems kinda empty.

To quote Buckcherry:

"AWWHHHH.....she's a crazy bitch, but she fucks so good I'm on top of it...."
 
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Can we once and for all differentiate between a "fuck buddy" and a "FWB"?

A fuck buddy is just that, a buddy that you really only hit up to be fucked. A skeezy ex that annoys the shit out of you, but the sex is good. Or they have the one kink that you only care for once in awhile but get an itch for every few months.

A FWB is also just that, a FRIEND with benefits. You enjoy their company, actually "hang out" with them instead of that being a euphemism for a one night shag. A big difference is how often do you spend time with each other outside of horizontal surfaces, if you like to leave the house together and do things, that's a true FWB. Maybe even the sex is just...average. But you like spending time together, and occasionally if no one else is on deck average is better than another night home alone. I love FWB, I loved being a FWB and I generally liked the freedom it gave each of us to take the stress off people that are "serious dates" and just "hang out".

I've been pretty lucky, and didn't really realize it at the time (isn't that always the case) but for most of high school up until my late 20's all my relationships were FWB's, usually more than one at a time with not a single monogamous "girlfriend". I had a serious case of wanderlust when I was younger and was constantly moving, travelling, never sitting still and always seemed to find confident, independent women that "got it". Some I only saw every few months, others a few times a week, and even some I lived with while we both dated other people. Or atleast paid my share of the rent and would stay there when I was back in town and we would be together, then I'd leave again and she would start seeing somebody else.

Two things that are absolutely great about them. They have most of the pluses of a SO without most of the negatives. It is someone that learns you over time, how to push your buttons, what things you like and where to be touched, what movies you like or don't. But without the stress of constantly having to worry about their feelings or desires if you just want to have a few nights of selfish alone time or deal with their bullshit. They never last, which is a plus & con, the fleetingness oddly enough allows you the freedom to be as open as you want, to experiment, to just flat say "No" to things. And con because you both know they are temporary relationships until one of you moves on.
 
I'm a very sexual person but am not available/ready for a full on relationship at the moment... so my question is how many at one time, having them on your beck n call is kosher? Different schedules call for different times of the day and also, they are all clean. I'm completely safe...
 
since i "came of age", i've normally had more female friends than male friends. I fancied the pants off a few of them, and I know a few of them fancied the pants off me. Sometimes the feelings were even mutual. However, for one reason or other, mostly because I or the potential FWB were in serious relationships at the time, nothing has ever come of these.
Not sure if I am happy or sad at that. I still get on with them all, and for some, whenever we get together, we still flirt like crazy with each other. Perhaps because we know it is safe to flirt and nothing will happen is why we do it. who knows....but it is still fun

so in answer to your question, never done it, but if the right opportunity arose, who knows.
 
I'm a very sexual person but am not available/ready for a full on relationship at the moment... so my question is how many at one time, having them on your beck n call is kosher? Different schedules call for different times of the day and also, they are all clean. I'm completely safe...

As many as you can handle, 2, 6, two dozen. The "beck'n'call" is an attitude that needs to be kept in check though, very consciously. If you like spending time with them as a FWB and you start treating them as a "beck'n'call fuckbuddy", don't be surprised when the novelty wears off for him and the excuses start.

If they know you are not exclusive...then have fun and may your nights never be lonely.
 
I have a male FWB that I have known for many years....I have fun with him by myself, and he has even joined hubby and I for threesomes occasionally....
All three of us like to get together for drinks from time to time, and we always enjoy ourselves, whether we have sex or not....:D
 
Years ago I had a fwb that I had lots of fun with. We were both part of a group of friends, and somehow we were able to keep our little relationship a secret from the others. Everyone seemed to know everything about everyone else, but they didn't know this. One fond memory was most of us going out to a restaurant one night, and the two of us excusing ourselves to use the restrooms but instead slipping outside to the alley next to the building. There, with nary a word spoken between us, he fucked me hard and fast against the brick wall. When he was done (too quickly for me finish, but I didn't care a bit), we straightened up and rejoined the rest of the gang, none of whom batted an eyelash.
 
Years ago I had a fwb that I had lots of fun with. We were both part of a group of friends, and somehow we were able to keep our little relationship a secret from the others. Everyone seemed to know everything about everyone else, but they didn't know this. One fond memory was most of us going out to a restaurant one night, and the two of us excusing ourselves to use the restrooms but instead slipping outside to the alley next to the building. There, with nary a word spoken between us, he fucked me hard and fast against the brick wall. When he was done (too quickly for me finish, but I didn't care a bit), we straightened up and rejoined the rest of the gang, none of whom batted an eyelash.

now that is the best kind of fwb...if you ever desire another...;)
 
It's such a simple decision to me. It's like math.

Sex is fun + Sex doesn't have to mean love + mutual attraction = Friends with benefits.

As long as two people have no interest in dating, maintain communication with their feelings so that things can be ended if need be at a timely manner... What's so wrong with this? Sex is fun, sex is free(let's hope) and sex is natural. Do it, enjoy it and stop worrying.

My opinion, at least. I've had "Friends with benefits", we just didn't label it. We we're just friends who decided to fuck until we didn't anymore. That's all it has to be.
 
My FWB has given me the best sex of my life.
The secrecy of it just adds to the erotic experience.
 
My FWB has given me the best sex of my life.
The secrecy of it just adds to the erotic experience.

I can't say that they have been the best, but they sure have been great. That's why they get repeats rather than being one-timers.
 
Practice does make perfect. And you do have a life your friends and neighbors probably don't imagine :)
 
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