Diary of a Fucktoy

This thread is closed to myself and any parties mentioned in the following list, they are allowed to post their comments and tidbits and whatever else strikes their fancy here. If you are not on the list and would like to comment, please PM me or one of them - depending on who you wish to reach. I may add and delete from this list as I see fit, don't cry about it. Thank you!

List of those permitted to post:

Execution_Style
Ausus_girl13
Leopald
fuckmeat
Heavenly_Harper
UnHolyPimpHand
Fira
Marauder13
Firmhanded_Daddy
chronicle_tenko
LoganDarkHolme
Arcane_Desires

The purpose of this thread is for me to lay out my life story in some kind of orderly format, seeking criticisms from friends who know me and some if not most/all of these stories. Some stories will not be added in detail or at all due to the rules of Literotica. They will be noted in some small way if I can manage it. All stories will have the first names of the people involved however, I will be changing some of these names to protect the identities of those involved.

Welcome to the diary of a Fucktoy, how Minx progressed from point A to B to deviant. Perhaps even I will figure some things out along the way, please expect some of my own notations or current tense entries to be added along the way.

The index will be added to as the thread progresses.

Index:

She Shall Die Twice
And then she was five
A True Fucktoy Moment
Time For School!
Happy Birthday Master!
The Wall Of Insanity
The Submissive Within...
Irrational Tears
Don't Stick Your Tongue Out At Me, Bitch.
Degrading A Minx
The Annihilation Of A Useless Cunt
Resilient And Vile Minx
99 Questions
Emo Territory
Just Another Pretty Whore
Just Another Pretty Whore Part Two

She shall die twice

Birth seems as good a place to start as any and while most would say theirs was average, mine was anything but!

My mother had many false labours while I was in the womb but when I finally came; I was an overcooked baby. You could say I was born I suppose, I certainly came out in a natural birth; no surgery necessary. However, I was something else when I came out of my mum, I was blue.

I don't mean parts of me, my entire body was blue. Not painted. I was dead. I was born dead. The umbilical cord had managed to wrap itself around my throat so while I was pushed out; I was choked to death at the same time.

A nurse took me in her arms and ran down the hall out of the theater, my mum lost her mind not knowing what was going on while my father stood there like a stunned mullet. I was his first born and my mother's second (I have a half brother).

My mother screamed at him, pointing, "Follow that baby!"

The nurse took me into a room, the umbilical cord was cut away and I was attached to an oxygen machine and isolated. My parents prayed, I was revived but still living on oxygen. I slept for three straight days.

When my eyes opened at long last, I could breathe without the oxygen, I would survive. Brain damage was not known as I'd been dead when I came out, they had no idea how long I had gone without oxygen and without life. To this day, I do not know but I am not affected by it as far as I can tell.

I shall die twice in this lifetime but I may not have lived at all. A moment in time that ought to have been joyous for my parents is now a painful memory of what ifs and building tension in waiting for me to live or die.

And then she was five

By the age of five, I could read at a college level. How?
Now that was sheer brilliance on the part of my wonderful parents.

My mother was studying to be an accountant, I was like her study buddy. I would read her tax text books to her. My parents quickly figured out how bored I would be with reading in the first grade. Sure enough, I flew through those little books they sent home with us.

Dick and Jane never appealed to me but if you handed me something on General Sales Tax, I was kicking ass!

I was also enrolled in gymnastics where my teacher discovered my lazy eye, I was fitted for glasses at the age of four.

By this age, I was in Playhouse - a childcare centre. My sister was three and also enrolled with me, I was one of the first enrolled in the new centre. Unfortunately there were others to join who were my age and one of the bigger boys tended to pick on the little ones. I learned to protect my sister when this boy stole a toy from her. I pushed him into the sandpit, held him down and made him eat the sand until he said sorry. He never did bother my little sister again though.

By this time our cat had earned her name - Mother.
Mother had come along when I was one, my dad was a dog person but she made a cat person out of him soon enough. Mother was my pet, my friend. My mum fed her and she never left.

Mother earned statewide fame when she gave birth to a litter of kittens in the wall cavity of our house. My parents tried to lure her out with food but she refused, a builder had to be called in to cut into the bathroom wall and retrieve Mother and her litter of seven. Overnight she claimed national fame and within a week it was international news - so was my family.

At the age of one, we had neighbours. We were the first to live on our street, surrounded by lush rainforest (which was cut down later to make way for real estate). I discovered a friend in the little girl next door - Trista. Trista was six months older than me but we could still walk and boy did we talk!

Trista was playing in her backyard and I in mine one day, we urgently wanted to play together. The six foot wooden fence was simply in our way. Easy enough. It was rotting because of a termite infestation. Trista and I pushed it, ripped it apart and generally had fun doing so. Our parents emerged to find the border fence obliterated and the two of us playing in the sandpit in her backyard. Innocent little shits.

Trista and I spent most of our time together at this age, jumping on the trampoline with her three brothers, my half brother and two little sisters. Her brothers Brett and Shane came over to play with us, we all jumped on the trampoline and put little macadamia nuts all over it, playing a game of jumping and trying to stop the nuts from hitting us. Charlotte (my little sister) was 3, I was 5 as was Trista, Shane was 9, my older brother Clinton was 10 and Brett was 12.

There was ripping sound. The trampoline tore in half and us kids learned teamwork pretty quick! Well...the girls did anyway. Brett went down the middle first, followed quickly by Clinton and then Shane. Trista and I meanwhile, gripped the edge and grabbed Charlotte, her hands in one of ours each. We hauled her up, laughed at the boys and ran off as they pelted macadamias at us.

Charlotte. My little sister. She was born when I was 2, the day before my birthday in fact! Dad took me to the hospital on my birthday, mum had a C section because Charlotte came out placenta first. We arrived and my mother let me hold my baby sister. I was excited, it was my birthday and I had my first present - Charlotte was my dolly!

My parents didn't think it was so funny, my father rushed out and bought me a dolly and a pram to put it in because I wanted to take Charlotte home. I was 2, cut me some slack here! Then it was time to go home, my mum walked my dad and I to the elevator.

I grabbed my mother's hand eagerly and said, "Come on mummy! We go home now."

My mother burst into tears and told my dad to shut the doors as she walked back to the hospital room where she would stay for another month.

Fighting for Survival From Birth

Now for my brother Clinton, Clinton hated me from the day I was born. He is five years older than me and in all that time he'd been a spoilt only child. When the time came for my birth, my parents decided it would be best if my brother stayed with my uncle. My uncle didn't know why and decided to bring him to the hospital.

When my brother first saw me, my mother was holding me in her arms, "What's that?" My brother asked.

"Your baby sister Clinton." My mum beamed and bent over a little so he could see my face.

He looked from me to my mother as if he was trying to figure out if she was serious. He looked to me again and back to my mother and said in no uncertain terms, "Get rid of it."

By the time I could walk, my brother realized I was being doted on far too much. My father came home from work one day and found me absolutely drenched and still wearing my singlet and nappy. He looked for my mother as he picked me up and realized there was water on the floor surrounding the nappy bucket. My brother had tried to drown me in it and my father's arrival had interrupted.

When I was three, my parents came upstairs to find me lying on the kitchen floor after a loud thump - they came to investigate. They found me struggling to breathe while Clinton stood nearby at the age of eight, he pointed and said, "She started it."
As it turns out, my brother had slammed me on my back onto the floor.

A True Fucktoy Moment

This is a current tense entry.

Last night I had a sensational long distance scene with my Master. Those first words are always the same and always expected - Hello Fucktoy. My response is always the same - Hello Sir. We rarely get the chance to speak in audio but in the days leading up to these opportunities he will remind me of many things like how much I enjoy displaying my cunt to him and how much I love what he does to me.

To start off this time, he gave me a scenario which ended in the words, “Strip Fucktoy.”

And as usual, I asked with a groan, “Do I really have to?”

And his response is always, “Yes.”

Following that? I will always strip. Why ask if I really have to? Mostly because it’s a cold winter here but also because I know exactly what is coming next.

“Show me those tits Fucktoy.” Comes his voice when I am naked at last.

I pan the camera down and he tells me to play with my nipples. I start to tweak and rub them as he watches me, it doesn’t last long before he gets bored with that and starts to tell me to pull them and twist them. To torture them. This part lasts longer, he enjoys watching my expressions and the soft moans that come. It’s not painful to me even though my nipples are incredibly sensitive...well mostly not, pulling them is a close call between pleasure and pain.

“Grab those clothespins.” Comes the next order along with my inevitable whimper.

This part hurts, “Start with the right.” He commands me and I pull it, closing the peg around it, I cry out softly, gasping.

Then comes the left, harder to get hold of but I manage; crying louder - this one hurts more. This time is different than the last time, this time he tells me he is leaving me for five minutes and that in that time I need to come up with a scenario between the two of us.

For once in my life, my mind blanks out entirely and I can’t think of a damn thing! I can’t even focus on my breathing as my nipples start to burn like mad. I scramble for something, anything because I know I want to please him and how he will already have something in mind if I fail. I come up with the weakest thing I can think of - a piece of bondage equipment I had seen in a photograph. When he comes back, there’s the expectant ‘well?’ and I spill this information to him. The collar is attached to a chain down the sub’s back which is attached to handcuffs and forces her to keep her hands up or choke.

I tell him that I imagine him with his belt, me with my legs spread and naked while he works me over with it. He seems satisfied with the scenario and asks me questions as it goes along. Finally he wants to see my cunt. I shift position and spread my legs, panning the camera down for him.

He tells me to start rubbing my clit, occasionally the command will come to slap my cunt for him. He will ask me questions and more than once I respond with ‘maybe’ instinctively. This tells him that I don’t want to answer but he knows I cannot lie. With the final ‘maybe’ he is fed up, it is a rule that I can’t answer with maybe, perhaps or possibly - I tried to find the loophole there.

“Say ‘maybe’ one more time and I swear I will deny you the whole night Fucktoy.” He states in that even tone that never raises or lowers.

I fumble with a whimper, I know he isn’t lying. I answer with the honest ‘yes’ I never wanted to give. Next comes the clothespins which he tells me to yank off, not open and remove but yank while they are closed. I am terrified, I’ve never done that before. The left comes first and I stifle a scream, swearing my head off. The right comes second, I try once and fail - scared to death. I tell him I can’t but then I do it anyway, arching and writhing in pain.

Once I settle, he notes, “If it’s possible, I think your cunt got even wetter Fucktoy. Show me that cunt.”

I move my hands to spread my cunt open lewdly for him, he continues to comment and makes me blush but he knows exactly what will make me wetter - if it’s possible. I hold open for at least ten minutes before he asks where my vibrator is, I tell him it’s in my draw. He tells me to get it and then to stick it in.

I do as I’m told and he comments, “It’s really not meeting any resistance is it?”

I blush, “No Sir.”

I start to thrust it as he speaks to me and finally he has me begging in many different ways, when I ask to cum - he refuses to so much as answer me twice. I get denied often.

“You’re not going to disobey me are you?” He asks me almost too sweetly.

“No-o Sirrr.” I groan out like I’m on the precipice of doing just that - I usually am.

“Are you sure?” He so often asks.

“Yes Sirrr, I think so, I hope so…” I say desperately, usually met with a little chuckle on his end.

The next thing I hear is a jingling sound, “Hear that Fucktoy?” He asks.

“Yes Sir?” I reply in confusion.

“That’s the sound of the belt you’ll come to know and beg for so much.” He responds and snaps the leather, the sharp noise making me jump and whimper as though he is right there in the room about to strike me with it.

“Beg for me to stop.” He snaps it, “Beg for more.” He snaps it again.

Each snap gains a jolt or a whimper I just can’t stop. Finally I am granted permission to cum and boy do I ever! I cum hard to the sound of his growling voice, the exhibitionist in me is excited beyond belief, the submissive in me is on her knees and the slut in me is sated.

By the end, I will always be agreeing with him and brought to bare all. I hide nothing from him and he knows I cannot anyway, not only because of my promise but because of him and the sensational effect he has on me.

We are done and while he tells me to cover up, I still hear him snap that belt now and then - just for the sound of my whimpering voice.

Time For School!

I started out school with Trista, we were at the same preschool but in different rooms, she was in the red room and I was in the yellow room. It was fairly average and we got to grade one together and ended up in the same class but it wouldn’t last past that year. My brother went to the same school and by the time I had reached the second grade - he had managed to get himself expelled so our parents put us both in another school.

Before too long I was the target of a bully named Blake. Most of the other kids thought that calling me four eyes was clever. Nakita was another such person, a popular girl at my school and a sporty one as well (although I could outrun her by a mile). In any case my life in primary school didn’t get interesting until the fourth grade when me and all my friends were put in the same class.

We were all allowed to pick our own desks so naturally my friends and I took the entire back row - Katie, Tiffany, Chantelle, Carla and I. Our other friends Kristal, Bianca and Kyla sat in the next row. But the five of us were the main crew and our parents dutifully nicknamed us ‘The Famous Five’.

My father asked my teacher a little too incredulously, “Are you really going to let them sit together?”

And she replied, “Sure, why not?”

My father and the other parents laughed and muttered among themselves that she’d find out soon enough. I flew through my school work, it was easy to me as usual and then I found my first boyfriend when I was 10 - Mark. We were wonderful together and had that puppy love vibe going on. He brought me flowers he’d picked from his garden for our first date together and wrapped them in alfoil, he also brought me a massive lollipop and his mum took us for a picnic in a beautiful park.

Mark and I split up that year and his friends were horrible to me as was he when we did. Mark lost his mind in class one day; we got into a big fight in which he picked up a desk and threatened to throw it at me - while our teacher’s aide wrote out a detention slip. Katie stepped in front of me because she was much bigger than I and very protective of me. I pleaded with Mark to please stop and to put the desk - my desk, down. He threw it sideways and stormed out of the classroom.

Later on in the year, we had a memorial to attend for a classmate - Kyla. See, Kyla’s parents were divorced and so she would spend every other weekend with her father. Her mother called the police one Sunday evening when her father hadn’t dropped Kyla off and wasn’t answering his phone. Late that night Kyla’s mother got a phone call to drive to a hospital one state over - the car carrying Kyla and her father had been found.

It seems Kyla’s father had gotten very drunk and overloaded a five seater car with friends, they went for a drive into the next state - New South Wales. Kyla had gotten sick and laid down in the middle seat in the back, thus when the car smashed into the telephone pole - Kyla went flying into the windscreen because she had no seatbelt on and no grip. Kyla’s mother didn’t know it but she was driving down south to identify the body of her daughter.

We didn’t understand what was going on. We didn’t understand death entirely then. All we knew was that our friend wasn’t coming back to school - ever. We cried and people said sorry to us but we didn’t get it until years later.

Grade five came and I joined an all girls cricket team which my father coached, I was made team captain. Parents were sceptical as to why but my dad was not bias and once they saw me go out to bat and make shots professional players struggled with? They couldn’t argue. I also started playing the trumpet and won the all school’s reading competition because I read the most books in the fastest time.

By grade six, our school had gained a new principle. His last name shall be tampered with here but let’s just call him Mr Dribben. Our old principle was named (tampered) Mr Shale. Mr Shale told my father when he left that he was not to pressure me, to let me go at my own pace and to trust my judgement.

My father looked at him strangely and asked, “Why are you telling me this?”

And Mr Shale who was a very wise man, someone I respected and looked up to and akin to Dumbledore of Harry Potter replied, “Because I’ve been grooming her for School Captain, your daughter will go places if you let her.”

Mr Shale is out and Mr Dribben arrives. On the school files my older brother is mentioned, my older brother whom Mr Dribben looked into. He was a little troublemaker who started fires at school, stole computers, smashed windows and at one point threatened another boy’s throat with a pair of scissors while laughing. Dribben chose to judge me on my brother’s behaviour. I was constantly pulled from class and put in frustrating situations that forced me to act out. He knew I would and it gave him excuse after excuse to suspend me.

Finally my grade A average had been decimated, my love for school had been slaughtered and my self esteem was through the floor. My parents attended a meeting with the board of education who immediately made it clear whose side they were taking - Mr Dribben’s. My parents saw only one way out of this as the principal started to repeat the process with my younger sister Charlotte, they put us in a new school. My grades picked up straight away and my teacher was stunned by my intelligence, I became the first student she’d ever given straight A’s to.

By this stage, some of the neighbourhood kids and I had formed a club called the Smoking Club. We wanted to be little rebels, stealing smokes from our parents and lighting up. Trista was involved of course and when her oldest brother John discovered the cigarettes, he came to me and asked if I was in on this. I told him yes and he threatened to tell both his parents and mine. I was scared but his offer on what I could do to stop that from happening was scarier still, I told him to go ahead and tell them. His pride wounded - he told them of course. Trista’s parents wanted to make her smoke a whole pack but my parents talked them out of it and they were satisfied to just take a chainsaw to the mass of overhanging vines next to the fence which had become our club house. The Smoking Club was disbanded.

Happy Birthday Master!

A current tense entry…

About a week ago, I was considering my Master’s upcoming birthday and like any submissive; I desired to do something for it, for him. But there’s only so many things you can do when you’re unemployed, relatively broke and he’s a few thousand kilometres away. So what could I do? Send him something? I considered this but then short of boxing myself up and sticking a postage stamp on my nose - I was really unsure of what I could send him.

So I came to the conclusion that I would do what I had always done to give him something special - we’d have a play session. But there would be a few additions to this little session and I found an online sex shop. Of course he needed to be in on this to ensure that a play session was possible and I told him of my intended birthday present, I then asked for his input on what he would like for me to buy for this session. There was much discussion and link sharing but he decided that he wanted me to buy nipple clamps with a connecting chain and small weighted beads attached, a butt plug and I got a free gift of duo balls (orgasm balls).

They were express posted which meant they’d arrive the next day and as a last minute thought, I also ordered some batteries for my vibrator and of course; I bought lube. I am an anal virgin after all! I was more excited for that play session than I had been for Christmas last year! And thankfully my Master never ever disappoints me, he had control of my toys, my body and my actions as he had the opportunity (as always) to dictate my every movement.

“Hello Fucktoy.”

“Hello Sir…” A coy smile but a fucking happy one illuminating my face on the screen.

He can see me but I can’t see him, we can both hear and speak to each other however. One of these days he’ll get a webcam yet! Conversation ensues and is cut short when he tells me to strip to nothing at long last, that takes all of two seconds anyway. He wants to see my breasts so I pan the camera down for him and he mentions the nipple clamps, I pull them from my draw (the one thing I forgot was to have my toys laid out!) and I wait. When he gives the command, the left goes first and I attach the clamp.

“Hm…” I say with a nod, the clamp simply feels normal and I tell him that I wonder what people rave about.

He tells me to do the right and it’s the same again, pretty okay. It’s just the same when he tells me to yank on the chain and finally I beg to play with myself - all the anticipation got to me just a little bit. I beg to show him his cunt and he grants me permission, I pan the camera down further and settle into position with a leg lying either side of the laptop. Spread wide for his view, I start to frig my clit as he tells me to. My breathing increases suddenly however, the clamps have truly come to life and my nipples are on fire! It’s almost like a trick, this isn’t instantaneous like clothespins but more of a nothing and then a rapid fire something!

I tell him how it feels and how it fucking hurts like hell, he chuckles and I move my finger even faster over my clit, desperately trying to alleviate the pain in my breasts. When he finally tells me to get my vibe, I couldn’t be happier to comply! I grab it out and wait for the command, he tells me to take it and drive it deep inside. I obey and start to thrust it in and out of myself almost immediately.

“Did I tell you; you could fuck yourself slut?” Comes his voice, my eyes widen and I plunge the vibe deep inside, leaving it there with a whimpered ‘no Sir’.

Finally he tells me I can fuck myself - slowly. He interchanges between hard and fast and slow depending upon my begging. When it’s hard and fast, I rarely miss my own g spot and it’s not long before I am begging to cum, his reply is the same over and over.

“No Fucktoy. Slow.” He tells me at least five times before I am almost insane with the need to orgasm.

He grants it at long last and I slow the thrusts of the vibrator, his voice sharpens in my mind as I come down, “Did I say you could slow down?”

“No Sir!” I give a strained and desperate reply as I pick up my speed and it’s not long before I am begging him all over again.

“Oh god! Please let your fucktoy cum Sir!” I cry out and he quickly grants permission this time, I cum very hard and try to keep my screams down.

Then we’re done and he tells me to ‘clean’, I know what that means and I pan the camera up to my face, sliding the soaking vibe between my lips for him to see. I push it past my throat and take it as deep as I can, pulling back before I gag. My tongue runs the length of it and when I am done, we talk for a little while before he has to switch from computer to his phone. We switch from Skype to Yahoo and speak in text again.

Master: Put the balls in.
Minx: *whimpers* Really?
Master: Yes, really
Minx: *soft groan* Yes Sir
Minx: They're in
Minx: This is going to feel so weird when I have to go out and make a cuppa *whimpers* Which was the plan to help me stay awake
Master: Go ahead, fucktoy. *grins*
Minx: *Whimpers* God you're so evil
Minx: I can feel them moving every time I shift...it's strange
Master: And?
Minx: *Groans* I'm going...brb
Master: K
Minx: I hate you
Minx: Oh and I'm back

A small excerpt of how we began to play again, he then asked me all kinds of questions about how it felt before we moved on to the next toy. This was more personal to me so I will simply give the gist of it to you. He walked me through the anal portion with the knowledge that I am a virgin there with the exception of a few attempts, fingers and my vibrator for a short period of time. He asked me how I felt every step, ensured that I took my time and started out with my fingers. He also told me not to go ahead with the butt plug until I felt ready.

I told him when and he told me to lube it up, relax and remove my fingers to slowly insert it. Anal is a funny thing for me because while I fantasise about being fucked there, hurried attempts by other guys have left me in a great deal of pain before so I’m very scared of being hurt. I had told my Master this and he has been most wonderful about making sure his property isn’t harmed. I finally set the butt plug in place and knew I had purchased correctly because the small jelly butt plug didn’t hurt me in the slightest. I had to stay like that for a long time, even had the balls and plug in when my sister called for my assistance.

My skirt down, my face flushed with horror at the idea of either of them falling out or slipping in any way and don’t even get me started on how weird it is to walk with them inside you! At long last he let me use my vibrator to get off a few more times and by then I was thoroughly exhausted, I removed and cleaned my toys on his command. Then just collapsed beneath my warm blanket.

And this is a hurried diary entry because I have permission to cum twice as long as I have my plug in right now! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading and will continue to do so!

The Wall Of Insanity

I can stare for hours at my walls and read the messages written there. I call it ‘my wall of Insanity’ but there’s so much more behind them than what can be seen. A story there. So I’m going to tell you the story of how the wall of Insanity came to be and in order to do that? We need to go back in time…back about three years.

Three years ago I was almost 18 when my godmother passed away, she was the first person I was close to, the first one I ever loved and one of my ‘invincible’ people. I called them that, called her that because they were immortal to me, they couldn’t die, they couldn’t leave me and she did. I hated her, I still hate her for dying and I walked into that chapel with my head held high. I nursed my anger at her, held back the tears because I was supposed to be the strength of the family, I am always the strength. I wrote a poem for her funeral, I couldn’t read it because I wasn’t allowed to cry so I gave it to my dad to read and he did; barely managing not to cry himself.

It was an open casket but I never went behind the veil, the purple veil that seemed to move and didn’t. I could see her beyond it but I never went near, I never went behind it and I will never forget my surrogate niece’s blood curdling scream. Her anguish…nothing like a 6 year old girl’s scream when she see’s her dead grandmother’s face. Her mother rushing to scoop her from the arms of another who had taken her to see my Aunty Lorraine. My sisters took each other’s hands and they went to see her. They were brave and everyone thought I was except for me, I was weak. Like a lamb to the slaughter as the ceremony began and we all took our seats.

I listened to the preacher and barely heard a word, watched my father read the poem and the music playing. My mother knew she’d died and she never showed up, a parade of Harley Davidson’s rode in though. The Hell’s Angels had arrived and each and every one of them hugged my godfather, took us all into their arms though we barely remembered them. We saw the old war wounds and scars of gun battles long past, my godfather’s eyes spoke volumes about how much he missed his friends. My dad stood there and shook their hands, I watched the reverence they held for my father - the respect in their eyes was clear. We were all seated and listening to the music playing. A mother/daughter song came on and my eyes drifted to my surrogate sister Lisa who held her daughter Lauren in her arms. They were both crying, Lorraine was Lisa’s mother and we’d grown up together. Something inside me broke.

The gates flooded and I felt more like my eyes were bleeding than tearing up. My mind screamed escape, I couldn’t breathe. I ran for the exit and grabbed a concrete pylon outside to keep me standing, I issued a scream that none inside ever heard. My last conversation with my Aunty Lorraine came flooding back to me, speaking about my relationship with my mother and how time would repair it. Three years later, my mother and I don’t speak and I hear the gossip; she tells people I am on drugs and I am every kind of horrible daughter that ever did exist. My Aunty Lorraine had wasted her breath that day, hours she’d never get back and all I could think was how Lisa would never hug her again, I never would and my mother would never hug me again either. I was right, in all that time…my mother hasn’t embraced me since mother’s day 2007.

Fast forward two weeks and I am sitting inside a Hungry Jacks across the road from the Royal Brisbane Hospital. Across the table is my best friend and confidant of six years - Rachael whom I call Rae. We were there to visit my older half brother Clinton who was enjoying a stint in the emergency psyche ward of the Royal Brisbane. We were having lunch and I shared with her about my Aunty Lorraine’s funeral, we exited the Hungry Jacks’ building when I started to cry and we made our way up to the hospital. After a quick visit with my brother to share the news of my godmother’s death and leave him with some cigarettes, Rae suggested we meet up with an old high school friend who had returned to living in Brisbane - Callum. It would turn out to be the single greatest adventure of my life to date.

We decided to meet up at a corner street of the Queen Street Mall in central Brisbane, the Hungry Jacks there. Rae and I sat inside the window looking out at all the people passing us by and began to discuss high school, all the memories that place held when someone stood stock still outside the window and waved. It took me but a moment to recognize the shaven head, the black leather coat, black pants and white singlet. The man standing there in black sunglasses and silver chains - Callum. We dashed outside with a squeal and embraced our friend, I almost couldn’t believe how he’d grown up and the way his eyes raked us; we could tell he had the same notion in his head about us.

I grabbed his wrist and felt indentations there, my eyes travelled down and I saw old scars and fresh wounds, “Callum what the fuck is this?”

He told me, “Just cuts…” And hastily pulled his hand back, pocketing his sunglasses.

My jaw set and I nodded curtly, my hand flashed into motion and came across his face. Rae was stunned and Callum went from shocked to angry as I stormed away.

He gripped my wrist and spun me round with surprising strength, “What the fuck was that Nikki?!”

There in the middle of the Mall, nothing had changed and I tried to pull away from his tight hold on me, “You fucking cut yourself again! You’re still doing it! Let me go!”

Instead he pulled me closer and grabbed hold of my other wrist, twisting them upwards, “What are those?” He asked me in a deadly quiet voice.

He referred to the half crescent marks on my own wrists, “Just…nail marks.” I flushed red.

“Why?” His voice growled at me.

“Just sad…couldn’t…” I never finished, I started crying and he let go only to wrap his arms around me. He never had to say a word, he knew my Aunty Lorraine had died and he knew how close I had been to her.

We stayed there a long time and just held each other, Rae eventually walked over and wrapped her arms around us both. We must have been quite the sight but we’d never cared in high school and we didn’t afterwards. We made our way down to our favourite coffee shop and bookstore, having latte’s after we’d finally let each other go and Callum sported a bruised cheek.

He rubbed it tenderly once we’d sat down and scowled, working his jaw, “Goddamn Nikki, you hit like a bloke.”

Rae and I broke into a fit of giggles and we all lit up smokes, discussing the latest in our lives and the years prior to that moment. Eventually we were all laughing again and we finished our drinks, making our way to central train station. We wandered over a bridge and a challenge came up that Callum was weaker than I was, that he couldn’t lift what 50 kilos of me there was. He took it personally and ran up behind me, lifting me at the waist and threatening jokingly to throw me off the edge of the bridge onto the traffic below.

“Put me down! Callum put me down!” I laughed and squealed, “Please! Okay! I believe you! Put me down!”

He squeezed me tightly, grinning wickedly, “Say you’re sorry!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Put me down!” I screeched, unable to stop laughing when he finally put me down.

I poked him in the ribs and ran off with Rae, he chased us well into the train station before a police officer told us to slow down and be careful. We held back giggles as we told the officer we were sorry and made our way down to the platform. We headed to Callum’s place. From then on, we enjoyed weeks revelling in each other’s company, having crazy kinds of sex and while Rae enjoyed being the submissive of us, Callum and I continued a struggle for power that I lost every time and loved it. I gave Callum my consensual virginity as the other kind had been stripped of me years beforehand, Rae adored watching the two of us fight like mad for the right to dominate. I eventually got the middle level and came to enjoy Callum’s dominance of me, I think I did all along.

Time came that Callum had to leave and move up north but we didn’t want to be parted. What could we do? Callum’s father needed the work up there and Callum got work there, I could get work there too. Callum’s dad understood us, he wasn’t Callum’s biological father and was only about 32 at the time (I thought he was insanely hot). So Rae moved in with me and we both decided that when we could, we’d go up north to move in with Callum since his dad understood his son having two girlfriends. I am short cutting this a lot but six months later? Rae went up while I stayed behind to tie up loose ends.

I was supposed to follow her two weeks later but a month later it was Easter Sunday and I was still in Brisbane.

I got a phone call that would change my life forever, I was to stay in Brisbane. My beloved Callum and Rae to whom I had given everything and given up everything for…well, they didn’t want me anymore.

I remember tears streaming and choking out, “Why?” As I ran from my bedroom and down the hall, passed my sister on the stairs who asked me what was wrong.

I told her nothing, shoved the phone into her hands and ran down the stairs, I remember her taking it to her ear and asking Callum what was going on. That was before I threw the front door open and ran out into the night. I had no shoes on, no purse, no jacket and no notion of where I was going. I just ran. I got on a train without a ticket and I travelled suburbs and suburbs, I got off the train and kept walking. I found myself on the highway, just walking and walking. I took a photo of the three of us from my pocket and collapsed in a park far from home. My lighter followed and I lit the photo up.

I screamed into the night and collapsed onto the ground, not caring for the ants that crawled over my skin or the dirt in my hair. A week later I came home. My dad had lost his mind wondering where I was and I was scratched up, my feet were bleeding and I couldn’t remember where I had been to tell him a damn word. I climbed into the shower numb, I couldn’t speak to anyone and didn’t want to. I was well and truly broken.

I got out of the shower wrapped in a towel and sat on my bed for hours, unblinking and staring at the wall. Whenever someone spoke to me, I would reply with, “Why?”

I finally found the strength to get dressed and I took a bottle of tequila from the alcohol cupboard, I drank straight from the bottle and loaded a basket with everything that belonged to Rae. I carried it and the bottle of tequila with me out into the backyard, I threw all her stuff into a barrel my father used as a burner; her clothes and books and jewellery. Every gift she’d ever given me, every card and everything she’d left behind and I poured a good mouthful of tequila over it. I struck match after match and threw it in. Some twenty minutes later, her alarm clock went off in the fire and it was the first time I laughed in over a week.

Next I took her paint set and her ipod, I started to play music, blasting it in my ears as the brush moved over my wall. The paint set I’d given to her for the Christmas she was living with me. I started to paint my wall with messages of hope and despair. Stopping every now and then to swig tequila or take pain killers or get a new drink like scotch once I’d finished the tequila. I couldn’t find a way to be numb enough, I couldn’t stop the hurt. Every so often my fingers would trace my neck where faded teeth marks indented my skin, they’re long gone now but once upon a time…they were all I had. I took my black lace collar and finally wrenched it from my neck, allowing it to fall to pieces in my hand - like us, it fell to pieces. I slumped to the ground in tears and kept drinking.

And that is how the wall of Insanity came to be…

The Submissive Within...

This is a current tense entry…

I have a vortex spinning around inside me, trying to find the words to sum up my feelings. I tried to be poetic, I tried to be blunt but I can’t even find the middle ground so that I can convey my thoughts right now. I want to describe my submission, the submissive within if you will because I think that actually having a viewpoint on why I am who I am and why I desire such things is important.

If you looked at me on the street, I suppose I would appear normal and not the kind of girl to do such things. It would be difficult to imagine me on my knees, I’m not shy or passive in general, hell at a party? I’d be the first person you heard or saw when you walked in the door, I’m loud and outgoing, very much an attention seeker. I wasn’t always like this, throughout most of primary school and high school; I was that mousy shy girl in the corner that didn’t want to be seen. But then I realized, no matter how hard I tried to hide, I was always seen by someone and it usually wasn’t in a very nice way. So I climbed out of my shell and learned to fend for myself because I finally came to comprehend the fact that no one was about to fight for me.

So I guess you might think I should be on the other end if anything right? The dominant. Well as it turns out, most dominants are on the other side of the same spectrum, they’re the quiet ones, the shy ones sitting off on the sidelines. I’ve been observed without knowing it, I’ve watched them calculate me and add me up. My own Master Leo did this, I watched him guess things about me based on very little and come up 100% correct. I’ve watched my friend Master Arcane (using Lit handles) calculate the core of a submissive, what she desires and what she is likely to say no to all based upon what she says her hard limits are. I’ve sat there and been told I won’t like something before I could open my mouth and have known they are right before I say so. I am truly in awe of dominants, the creativity they muster and the work they put in is nothing short of stunning. But then, that’s the other side of the coin isn’t it? I desire to learn how to pose myself as a dominant commands, they desire to be the one giving the command.

But what of true submission? I don’t just mean ‘please spank me’ but real resolve to obey, I admit to behaving badly when I want attention, when I want to be beaten within an inch of my life and when I want to really be punished. I’m a masochist, spanking me isn’t a punishment, no form of pain beyond that of an extreme measure will ever be punishment to me. My Sir knows this, he knows that I feed on my own fear, I love to be afraid of him and he likes it too. I love to fear retribution for my actions, it arouses me no end when he threatens me with something if I don’t answer correctly or do as he tells me. My Sir knows that both denial and forced orgasms to an extreme extent are a great punishment to me because while I enjoy cumming, I can only be held on the brink for so long before I break completely, the other end is just as bad if not worse. If you’re a woman reading this then I give you a challenge. Oh yes, that’s right…I forgot to mention this is interactive didn’t I?

The challenge is as follows; make yourself cum 10 times in a row. Orgasm twice and take a break, orgasm four times and take a very short break of about 10 minutes and then orgasm four more times. Do this inside an hour and a half. Use a vibrator, use your hands but just try it. Keep forcing yourself to cum and then Private Message me and tell me how it felt, how sensitive you were towards the end, how difficult it was to keep going. Trust me when I say it sounds easier than it actually is.

Let’s see how many PM’s I actually get!

Back to what I was saying about true submission now that you understand what I mean by fun submission. The desire to obey another, trust them completely so that you forego all else to do so. When it comes down to serious matters, I obey my Sir, I don’t question him at all; I just do. Why? Because I want to. I choose to show him how much he means to me by being obedient, I show my devotion without flowers or kisses or shiny metals. I don’t need nor want those. He shows his devotion by giving a command, the day he stops doing that will be the day he stops caring about me. So when he tells me to do whatever I want because it obviously won’t make a difference? That hits home, that hurts like nothing else and I crave the order. I then want him to tell me what to do, I want to show him how much it matters, how much he matters to me.

I show my devotion through obedience and discipline, yes, shock horror I actually do have some discipline to me. If he told me that he would stop being my Master if I didn’t obey his every command in our next session? I’d force every orgasm, take every self hit he ordered, move swiftly into each position and strive to be utterly perfect. Sometimes I can go without being the brat, it just makes it more fun for both of us when I am the brat. When I know he has need of me or I have need of him after a rough day where we’ve both been put through our paces and just seek release? I move to my knees and I ask him his desires, it’s not all pain or fun, there’s love, devotion, loyalty and enjoyment on both sides. There’s also times when we fight or argue or just stop talking to each other out of annoyance, it’s just like any other relationship really except that I’m more likely to actually shut up when he says so.

Some things seem almost harsh, like choking me on his cock or hitting me with his belt or calling me a filthy slut and making me beg. It’s not force, he doesn’t need it, anyone can make someone else do something if they want it bad enough but to tell them to bend over, grab their ankles and don’t move no matter what? It’s a great deal harder to get that kind of trust from someone, that kind of desire to obey and stay like that. It’s also therefore, a good deal easier to lose it so why would he jeopardize that by doing something he knows I don’t like? So a few things he could do to induce that loss of trust would be breaking a hard limit such as needles, I get no pleasure from them, from having my skin threaded. My sister submissive enjoys this but I don’t, we’re all different and though she and I serve the same Dominant/Sadist, we don’t enjoy all the same things.

So if my Sir brought a needle to my skin and pricked me with it, he would lose that sense of trust, the devotion would be cracked and need to be rebuilt. He knows I will obey him no matter what, I get myself into trouble sometimes but I rarely disobey a direct command. I forget certain things and he jumps, taking full advantage but I hardly need to misbehave purposely on most occasions. Sometimes…it’s just fun to be bad! Besides, I wouldn’t give up my smart mouth for anything!

So what about the harsh things? The face fucking, the bondage, the degradation and such? I enjoy those. I enjoy being called a filthy slut, made to beg for my orgasms and choke on his shaft. Why? Well that’s not entirely clear to me, I don’t know why I take such pleasure in pain or why I like being humiliated but I know that in my life? I am a control freak, I have so many responsibilities that I don’t know what to do with myself and I love just letting someone have control over me once in awhile. My ultimate fantasy is to be a slave 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Which goes against everything I was ever raised to believe about independence but I could hardly find the strength to care. Being a 24/7 slave means dependence upon the Master/Mistress. No job, you work and live entirely for them, you take care of their house and their errands, their pleasure too - can’t leave out the fun parts can we? It means you can be tied down or caged up at night and do things you ordinarily couldn’t do because you have to run off to work. I think of waking my Sir up with a blow job or cooking him breakfast, just simple little things…

That’s the ultimate for me, the one thing I will never ever be sick of thinking about and the one thing I truly want above all else…for the right Dominant of course. Though if I ever saw it realized? I don’t know what there would be left to dream about…I’m sure I’d think of something! I leave you here…don’t forget the challenge ladies! Not sure it’s possible for the guys but if you do give it a shot, let me know how it works out cause that’d be interesting!

Irrational Tears

This is a current tense entry…

Did you ever just forget to care? To be mean for the sake of it? Because some god awful retort just comes to mind even though the person you’re responding to did nothing to deserve it? I feel like that right now. I am so frustrated and upset that I’m crying and I don’t even know why. I spoke to a friend and I tried to have a conversation with him but I couldn’t do it.

He said, “Ah I see.” At one point, I don’t really recall what I told him about how I felt but I remember thinking, ‘I doubt that’.

I felt a strong need to be vicious for no reason at all, I feel abandoned and since he was the only one around…well I wanted to take it out on him. I can’t talk to anyone right now because I’m afraid to damage my friendship with that person. I’m crying and I have no idea why.

Prior to this, I felt extremely sexually frustrated and I know my time of the month is playing havoc with my emotions…but this is fucking ridiculous! Leo teased me before I left and I vowed to get him back when I returned…then I ran into car troubles - more frustration added…then I get back to him and he’s not there. More frustration. I feel like my pressure cooker just exploded or something. I’m trying really hard to remind myself that he’s not the bad guy for this, that it’s not his fault but I just want him to be here with me right now.

I don’t feel that I can talk to anyone else right now or trust myself enough to know I wouldn’t get angry at them, fuck a friend off and not care about it. At least I know that with Leo, no matter what…I’ll care.

My friend told me something that just hurt me deeply, “Well... its not his role to sate your needs you know…”

I didn’t know what to say to that, I know I am a high maintenance submissive because when I have a good thing going with someone then I am quite literally on the brink of nymphomania. Leo manages to bring me to that point almost everyday and he knows exactly how addicted I am to him and what he does to me. Before we even got together, he knew how high maintenance I was and yeah, sometimes he struggles with me. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t, I am….greedy and needy when it comes to sex. I still put my partner’s pleasure above mine but what would be the point of it if I didn’t enjoy myself as well?

Sometimes I think that most people expect that because I’m a submissive, it’s all about serving his needs and yeah, I guess that would be the very base idea of it but he also fulfils mine…or else there wouldn’t be a point to the relationship would there? Mutual fulfilment and enjoyment is important. I don’t hate what he does to me, it wouldn’t be a kink otherwise, right? So submission is not my only kink, why shouldn’t I enjoy the others ones as well as my submission? I can make them all mesh into the one scene without a crease…I don’t see why I should feel bad for occasionally thinking a little selfishly. Submission isn’t selfless and you’re just kidding yourself if you think otherwise.

There is slave-space, where the Master comes first in everything. It’s very different to subspace, I reach both only very occasionally. Slave-space is an extreme end, where the slave becomes selfless and practically meaningless, where nothing matters but the Dominant’s desires and happiness. I rarely get there because I am a selfish submissive when it comes to things I like; orgasms and so forth.

Right now I feel like my insides have been torn out with angst and I don’t know why it just feels like so much when today has been relatively light. I just wanted to have fun and be carefree and forget my responsibilities for the day…I can’t even do that right. How useless. I felt ugly, gross and unwanted…the abandonment really didn’t help. I was all alone and I really felt that…completely alone.

And no one would understand…

Alright. So I've been around you for a while, chicadee.. and the deal is this.. I think you might be over thinking it a tad.

It's a problem. I do the same thing. You have got to let yourself feel. Feel whatever it is that you are feeling, identify it and here comes the hard part. Sitting with it. Letting it be what it is, and not hiding from it, or running or drinking it away. Yeah.. that parts going to suck. But you can do it.

And part of what he likes about you is your ability to stand on your own two feet. You don't need a man to save you from the world. He if anything should be there to protect the world from you. (cause bitch you crazy! )

So don't apologize for the way you are feeling. Be crazy and nonsensical, because it is where you are at in that moment.

Don't Stick Your Tongue Out At Me, Bitch.

This is an excerpt of a play between my Master Leopald and myself that's very profound and dear to me. I felt very submissive throughout this scene and his every word still makes me shiver when I reread it.

It also gave me an idea as to what to give him for our next gift giving occasion. When I read it now, I recall that sheer submission I felt for him when he spoke to me, the desire to get my tongue pierced then and there IRL just because he said so...even now it thrills and terrifies me that he makes me feel that way even in text.

For the record, I have not ever had a wish to get my tongue pierced, my nipples and clit - yes. But not my tongue until this moment...

Leopald: *pinches your nipple*

monique_minx: *squeaks in surprise*

Leopald: Hehe

monique_minx: *sticks tongue out at him with a giggle*

Leopald: *catches your tongue with his fingers*

monique_minx: *Eyes widen and I try to pull back* Nahhh!

Leopald: Maybe I should get this tongue pierced, since you're always showing it to me...

monique_minx: *Whimpers and shakes my head slightly*

Leopald: No? You sure about that?

monique_minx: *Nods a bit, squeaking*

Leopald: I think it would look cute on you, fucktoy. And it will be fun sliding my cock across it, huh?

monique_minx: *whimpers louder*

Leopald: Maybe we'll just go in for the whole piercing package. Nipples, tongue, clit...

monique_minx: *Loud groan, involuntary shiver*

Leopald: Oh? Some part of you likes that idea, I see... Would you enjoy being modded like that?

monique_minx: *whimpers and pulls on my tongue, eyes watering a little*

Leopald: *jerks your tongue* Did I say you could have this back? Its mine to do with as I please...

monique_minx: *Cries out and moves closer, shaking my head slightly*

Leopald: Maybe I'll just hold onto your tongue while I jerk myself off, and you can watch until I leave my load in a pool on your tongue. How's that sound?

monique_minx: *Drool starts to pool at the corner of my mouth and I fight to swallow it, pouting a little, brow crinkling with the dissatisfaction of that idea*

Leopald: What's the matter with that idea, fucktoy? You get your load of master's cum, right?

monique_minx: *whimpers and nods slightly* Pleathe Sir *I blush and groan*

Leopald: Please what, my little whore?

monique_minx: *whimpers* Pleathe let go and pleathe *another whimper* let me thuck your cock Sir!

Leopald: *releases your tongue with a chuckle* Go ahead, fucktoy. Show me I haven't released you in vain.

monique_minx: *Snatches my tongue back and gasps, swallowing down the drool as I sink to my knees and bite my lip, looking up at him* Conference...

Ausus_girl13 said:

Alright. So I've been around you for a while, chicadee.. and the deal is this.. I think you might be over thinking it a tad.

It's a problem. I do the same thing. You have got to let yourself feel. Feel whatever it is that you are feeling, identify it and here comes the hard part. Sitting with it. Letting it be what it is, and not hiding from it, or running or drinking it away. Yeah.. that parts going to suck. But you can do it.

And part of what he likes about you is your ability to stand on your own two feet. You don't need a man to save you from the world. He if anything should be there to protect the world from you. (cause bitch you crazy! )

So don't apologize for the way you are feeling. Be crazy and nonsensical, because it is where you are at in that moment.

Click to expand...

Thanks for your comments and input babe, you're the first

I don't think I needed him to save me so much as I just needed him for support, to pull me together...all my cake slid off the plate for awhile there heh! I feel like it was a much needed release of everything I've kept scrunched up inside and I just needed to tell my diary all about how I felt. I truly do write these things as though I am explaining to a private inanimate object like I always have.

I feel like it calms me, I've been writing diaries for eight years now and I don't think I'll ever give it up.

Degrading A Minx

This is a current tense entry...

This was a rather hardcore degradation session between my Master and I. On this particular night, I was drunk and highly susceptible to him, I get highly/easily aroused when I'm drinking so this was hard for me to just sit through.

Knowing that, of course, Sir Leo then kept this going in both cyber and RL for eight hours. I had to sit and be teased for eight hours straight, half of that time with a plug and orgasm balls in.

I had no idea how literal he might take some of my suggestions either and this is rare for us, he knows I do not enjoy this level of degradation all the time but on occasion it is what I need. My ultimate fantasy is in fact to be a 24/7 slave without rights and privileges, without a safe word so that alone does get me rather worked up and I enjoy that far more frequently.

My Master does know what I need and desire, what I long for and my turn ons and fetishes of which there are many and they are ever expanding. I want to keep this because it reminds me of how my kinks and I grow, how my submission comes in all forms and how I change with them. Enjoy!

~ The Degradation Of Minx ~​

monique_minx: Oh fuck you *groans*

Leopald: Yeah, you wish

monique_minx: Ohhh don't fucking do that!

Leopald: I'll do what I want, shut the fuck up, whore.

monique_minx: No *grumbles, pouting*

Leopald: *smacks you hard*

monique_minx: *yelps sharply, swallowing my whimpers and glaring as I breathe out solidly* Ow...

Leopald: Eyes on the floor and mouth shut until I decide I want my cock in it.

monique_minx: *swallows and fights the urge to chew my lip, licking my upper lip as my eyes fall to the floor, I mumble a soft* Fuck *under my breath*

Leopald: Much better, meat

monique_minx: *scuffs my foot against the floor in agitation and response*

Leopald: Careful bitch. I could have you standing in a corner with your panties in your mouth, too.

monique_minx: *A whimper escapes before I can stop it and I shake my head quickly, my eyes glued to the floor*

Leopald: Oh, but you like that idea, I see

monique_minx: *Squeaks and shakes my head even faster, my hands tightening behind my back, I wring them*

Leopald: What's the matter, fucktoy? Does being treated like a possession turn you on even more?

monique_minx: *whimpers and groans, shuffling my feet a little and biting hard into my bottom lip*

Leopald: It does, doesn't it? Being reminded that you're a thing to be owned and used at someone else's leisure... It gets your cock-pleasing holes all ready to do their jobs, doesn't it?

monique_minx: *Whimpers and bobs on my legs a little, grabbing at my upper arms behind my back, I can't stop myself and my voice comes out as a soft whine* Ohhh don't do this!

Leopald: *slaps you hard, then reaches into your waist-band and rips out your panties, before shoving them into your mouth*

monique_minx: *Yelps loudly, snapping my head away and gasping as he tears my panties up, my cunt stinging from the strain and the fast rip. I pant hard, my eyes wide as he shoves them into my mouth and I groan, closing my eyes for a moment as I try to regain my composure while the fabric dries the saliva from my tongue*

Leopald: Its tough to look all prim and proper when your clothes are a mess, and you got panties hanging out of your mouth, isn't it?

monique_minx: *blushes brightly, moaning a gruff response around the gag in assent*

Leopald: *chuckles* Give it up, fucktoy. You'll never be more than the value of a vibrator...

monique_minx: *Squeaks and groans, turning my blushing face away from him*

Leopald: And that gets you even more hot, doesn't it? Everyone puts you on some sort of pedestal, when what you really want is to be reminded just how worthless you really are... Isn't it?

monique_minx: *whimpers around the gag and steps back anxiously, wringing my hands and trying to decide whether or not I want to run from this conversation as I'm barely able to control rubbing my thighs up against each other*

Leopald: Look at how wet you are. Admit it, fucktoy... This is exactly what you crave, isn't it? You aren't a woman, with rights or privileges... You're a piece of property, to be owned and used.

monique_minx: *whimpers louder, my eyes flashing up to look at him imploringly as I rub one foot over the other where I stand*

Leopald: Eyes on the floor, toy! Bitches don't have the right to look at their owners, do they?

monique_minx: *whimpers loudly, dropping my eyes fast and shaking my head as I try to say 'no' around the gag, it barely comes out at all through the garbled mess of noise*

Leopald: *pulls the panties out of your mouth, roughly* Tell me what you are, fucktoy. Tell me what you need to be.

monique_minx: *Gasps and swallows, sucking back drool and licking my lips as he pulls the gag out. I whimper and keep my eyes on the floor as I mumble* I'm your whore Sir, your property, I need to be used as such

Leopald: Louder, toy. And elaborate.

monique_minx: *whimpers and shuts my eyes tightly for a moment, I take a deep breath and let them open to stare at the floor beneath me, I speak clearly and louder this time* I'm your fucktoy Sir, your slut, your property to use as you see fit and I need and want that, I...*swallows*...I don't want rights or privileges Sir, I want to be your little whore to use as you wish in any way

Leopald: Good whore... Was that so hard?

monique_minx: *shakes my head, blushing* No Sir

Leopald: *grabs a handful of your hair and forces you to your hands and knees in front of him* Stay.

monique_minx: *Gasps and bites back the yelp, breathing a little faster as I sink down to my knees with gritted teeth, dropping forward onto my hands. I nod as he speaks and mumble* Yes Sir

Leopald: *sits casually, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it as he relaxes and places his feet on your back*

monique_minx: *Groans softly as he puts his feet up on my back, I sway a little as I become accustomed to it and hold still after that. My hair almost brushing the floor as I stare down and bite my trembling lower lip*

Leopald: Having fun, toy?

monique_minx: *nods and lifts my head slightly, flicking my hair a little so I can see his face; partially obscured by the strands still covering my cheek and the varying levels of height between us* Yes Sir *I swallow as I feel my cunt gush again and I drop my head, praying it won't starting running down my thigh or anything*

Leopald: *glances back as he takes a drag of his smoke, and chuckles the exhale* Look at that glistening cunt. Even used as a footrest, you can't help but be turned on...

monique_minx: *I blush furiously and stare hard at the floor beneath me, fighting the urge to shuffle as he speaks, I try to bite back a whimper but it escapes me anyway. The weight of his feet and the position grow increasingly uncomfortable; coupled with my arousal? It's becoming more than just difficult to stay there*

Leopald: You'd better not move, fucktoy. You know my comfort and pleasure is much more important than your own, don’t you? *another slow inhale of the smoke*

monique_minx: *I whimper and nod quickly, swallowing* Yes Sir! *I steady my thighs as they've started to rub up against each other long before I noticed, the gentle shuffle not enough to drop his feet but enough so that it doesn't go unnoticed by either of us. I groan, wanting very much to drop and curl up to alleviate the pain of the position and the need in my cunt but knowing I can't; simply because he doesn't want me to*

Leopald: You said so yourself, thing... You are property, owned and claimed, with no rights of your own... *chuckles and puts his spent cigarette out, before dropping his heel into your back in response to your shuffle*

monique_minx: *I squeak as his heel falls into my back and I freeze up as my arms tremble dangerously, I lift up a little and lock my elbows up. I grit my teeth in determination, I know I'm much stronger than to break so fast, if only my cunt agreed with me; I think miserably.* Yes Sir *I gasp out and just about choke on it, trying to spread my legs for better leverage and not wanting to at the same time because I know it will only serve to make my clit throb*

Leopald: Tell me, fucktoy... How long do you think that cunt will last, if I just verbally and physically peel you apart today?

monique_minx: *I pant a bit, knowing I’m starting to sweat beneath his heels and I can't help but grin; however pained it might be* Uhhh no idea Sir, I suppose that would depend upon what you have in mind for me and it...

Leopald: *pulls his feet off of you and places a hand on the back of your head, forcing your cheek to the floor, while leaving your ass in the air* Maybe I'll bind you here in the middle of the floor and open you up for use... Advertise free cunt, see how many random strangers line up to use you.

monique_minx: *Relief washes over me as he takes the pressure off my back but as it comes; it goes when his hand presses my head down. I turn my head sideways and shiver as my cheek presses to the cold floor, I listen as he speaks; unable to not be fully aware of exactly how exposed I am in this moment, I whimper in response and swallow*

Leopald: What do you think, fucktoy? Would you enjoy all those cocks inside you? I'll bet you would be begging to suck mine while they took you... *lands a heavy spank on your ass, laughing as he drags nails up your back*

monique_minx: *Yelps and moves my arms up beside my head, laying my elbows flat to the floor quickly. I shiver as his nails rake my back and I can't help the loud moan that escapes my quaking body* Yes Sir! Fu-uuu-uuck yes Sir!

Leopald: Can you picture that long line of people, all waiting to fill your holes with cum? And you know I'm gonna get plenty of pictures and video, don't you? All that seed overflowing from your ass and cunt, dripping down your thighs...

monique_minx: *Whimpers and squeaks, squirming and repositioning my knees* Yes Sir *I barely whisper, panting faster as my cunt warms up again, letting me know it's still fucking with me*

Leopald: You want all those pictures and videos shared, thing? *smacks your ass once again, harder than before*

monique_minx: *Yelps sharply and jolts forward to press my cheek hard into the floor, my voice slightly marred by the pressure* Uhhh fuck! I'm yours Master, if you wish it then I wouldn't be stupid enough to argue with you *I work my jaw a little as I peel back the pressure, my stinging ass soothes to that dull burn quickly and my cunt twitches again, making me shuffle my knees a little*

Leopald: You know I'm gonna make you beg for them all to be posted, don't you? And I know you will do just that... I know how hot you get knowing people are looking at you in the height of your whore nature.

monique_minx: *I blush brightly, suddenly wishing the floor would open up beneath me and eat me whole as he speaks. I whimper audibly; louder than normal as though he's snapping his belt right in my ear all over again. I feel my cunt dribble slowly, my juices start to seep down my inner thigh on a slow track and I groan softly* Yessss Sirrrr!

Leopald: Say it, fucktoy.

monique_minx: Uhhh-huh *I whimper as he speaks and I claw the ground hard* I'm going to beg you to post them Sir, I like...oh fuck don't make me say this please?!

Leopald: Don't make me tell you again

monique_minx: *Whimpers fearfully and swallows, closing my eyes tightly as I speak* I like it when people are looking at me...in the throes of my slut self Sir

Leopald: *dips a finger into your folds and wipes the evidence across your lips and cheek* I know you do, bitch...

monique_minx: *Opens my eyes with a gasp, my hips pushing back against the finger which leaves just as fast and I blush furiously as he wipes my juices over my face. My eyes tighten with an obvious desire to turn away but I remain as I am while he does it*

Leopald: Wet little whore... Gushing cunt, ruining mattresses and chairs. All for a chance to be humiliated and eventually fucked. You wouldn't have it any other way, would you?

monique_minx: *I groan and shiver, this time I do look away, the blush creeping across my cheeks is just too much and I lift my head just to stare nose down at the floor. My response is obscured by that floor but clear enough to understand* No Sir, I wouldn't...

Leopald: Want to get fucked like a whore?

monique_minx: *whimpers and nods slightly, twisting my cheek back to look at him* Very much so Sir, please!

Leopald: Nope.*laughs and starts working on ten heady spanks across one cheek of your ass, his free hand's nails digging into the other cheek to hold you still*

monique_minx: *I hiss and arch my head back as he starts to rain spanks upon my ass, his nails not helping me much as I grit my teeth and breathe heavily. I should have seen that coming somehow, the thought makes me scowl but snaps me from it when another spank lands and I yelp, shuffling on the spot and fighting not to crawl away from him*

Leopald: *switches to the other cheek now, and works on ten more heavy-handed strikes, as his hands are reversed as well*

monique_minx: *I gasp with the first strike but following that; my yelps steadily increase in volume after he switches cheeks.* Ohhhh fuckkkk! Please Sir?! Pleeee-eease! Uhhh!

Leopald: Please what, you wet little piece of meat? What do you need?

monique_minx: *gasps out breathlessly* Your...cock! Please Sir! Please let your fucktoy be of use! Please?!

Leopald: *laughs again* No, fucktoy. I have no use for your holes right now...

monique_minx: *whimpers loudly and covers my face with my hands, squirming again*

~ Misbehaving And Desperation ~​

Leopald: What are you up to? Aside from ruining panties, I mean...

monique_minx: *blushes and scowls* Oi!

Leopald: What?

monique_minx: Don't say that *Blushes*

Leopald: Why not...fucktoy?

monique_minx: *involuntary shiver and a groan* Fuck, don't! God, stop doing this to me, it's gonna drive me crazy

Leopald: How quickly you seem to forget that you are an owned bitch... Why is that?

monique_minx: *Suppresses a whimper with tight lips* Mmmm...*Breathes deeply*...I don't know, I get sidetracked?

Leopald: *pulls you close and growls in your ear* Owned. Bitch.

monique_minx: *Whimpers and shivers in his grip, fighting the urge to sink though I do waver for a moment, I blurt out a whisper in return before I can stop myself* Do you get medals for stating the obvious?

Leopald: *his hand comes back and lands hard across your cheek* Fucking toys should be mindful of their tone, bitch.

monique_minx: *yelps and snaps my head sideways, stiffening with a whimper* Yes Sir....

Leopald: There goes any chances you had of cumming tonight, bitch...

monique_minx: *whimpers, eyes widening* no

Leopald: Too bad... Should have thought of that before you decided to be a bitch and forget your place, shouldn't you?

monique_minx: *Whimpers softly, eyes pleading* I'm sorry Sir, please don't do this! Please?! I'll do anything!

Leopald: You think so, toy?

monique_minx: *nods, whimpering* Yes Sir!

Leopald: Yet you are so quick to forget your place, aren't you?

monique_minx: *groans softly and bites my lip, whispering* I didn't mean to Sir, I couldn't help it

Leopald: Then it sounds like you need the lesson, doesn't it?

monique_minx: *whimpers and sinks down to my knees this time* please Sir! I'm sorry, please?! I'll do anything to make it up just please don't do this to me tonight?!

Leopald: Hmmm…I don't know, fucktoy.

monique_minx: *Looks up at him and squeaks out* Please! Anything!

Leopald: Like what? What can you do to earn it?

monique_minx: *covers my face with my hands and groans* I don't know! I don't even care Master, I just know I'll do it!

Leopald: Gonna have to come up with something, fucktoy.

monique_minx: *whimpers and leans forward, groaning* Fuck! I don't know what I can do with this distance Sir but god you could tease me for hours IRL and I wouldn't care as long as I got to cum at the end right now!

Leopald: Go put your plug in.

monique_minx: *swallows and nods* Yes Sir

monique_minx: It’s in Sir

Leopald: Good girl. How is it?

monique_minx: Its been awhile and it's very cold. I kinda remember it being harder before though, this time it didn't take very long before I felt ok to insert the plug

Leopald: Good. Getting easier, hm?

monique_minx: *nods* Yeah. But it's still fucking cold, oh my god.

Leopald: Hehe. It'll warm up.

monique_minx: Hopefully soon

Leopald: *smiles* Put your balls in.

monique_minx: *whimpers* Yes Sir...

monique_minx: They're in Sir

Leopald: Good. Now, take a walk, bitch.

monique_minx: *whimpers* is it okay if it's just around my bedroom Sir? The house is sleeping

Leopald: Yes, that's fine

monique_minx: Ok...is there a time frame on this walk or can I circle my room and come back? *hides my grin with my hand*

Leopald: 10 minutes.

monique_minx: *groans and mutters* Knew I shouldn't have fucking asked

Leopald: Hehe. Have fun, fucktoy

monique_minx: Ok...back in 10 minutes Sir...yuh

~ Because He Can ~​

Leopald: *chuckles and spanks you hard*

monique_minx: *yelps sharply, shocked* What was that for?! *Rubs my sore ass*

Leopald: Because I can, bitch

monique_minx: *pouts and rubs it til it dulls to a burn again* Ow.....

Leopald: Still dripping?

monique_minx: *nods* Uh huh

Leopald: Good

monique_minx: *groans*

~ Walking; For The Very Brave ~​

monique_minx: *tentatively touches the plug and hisses* Oooo fuck, I think I'm fairly sensitive there right now

Leopald: *chuckles* Good...

monique_minx: I did touch it before when I moved, I'm scared to do it now, it made me a wriggling wreck earlier. But it woke me up a bit

Leopald: Ready to get that ass fucked?

monique_minx: I'm gonna go make a cuppa...*grimaces* Fuck I want a wheelchair so I don't have to walk to the kitchen

Leopald: Lol. Have fun, thing.

monique_minx: Oooo...still terrified and excited about that one Sir

monique_minx: Brb

monique_minx: Back

monique_minx: Ahhhh why does sitting suck?!

Leopald: Lol

monique_minx: Oh quiet chu *grumbles*

monique_minx: And since when do you call me 'thing'? *blushes*

Leopald: Since I decided to call you whatever I choose, meat.

monique_minx: *swallows and mutters* Yep, sorry I asked as usual

~ When I Know Better… ~​

Leopald: Falling asleep with a plug and balls in would be interesting... Wonder if you would cum in your sleep, or just be dripping all night...

monique_minx: *whimpers softly, eyes wide* Never cum in my sleep before, I really doubt I'd start now

Leopald: Hehe. Then I guess you would just drip, huh?

monique_minx: *whimpers and nods reluctantly* Yes Sir

Leopald: Might be fun...

...Connection Drop-Out...​

Leopald: I said you dripping all night would be fun.

monique_minx: Okay technically day here and no! God no

Leopald: Hehe. It really would be

monique_minx: *whimpers* You're not...you won't

Leopald: You know better than that...

monique_minx: *shrinks down, whimpering* Unfortunately yes...I'm just praying my ass off Sir

Leopald: Don't think it would be fun?

monique_minx: I admit I'm curious as to how it would feel and how I'd find it but sooo worried about moving in my sleep or something even though I rarely do, I think that as sopping as I am now, I'd have trouble staying still

Leopald: *chuckles*

~ Questions You Should Never Ask ~​

monique_minx: How could you make things worse?

Leopald: Make you leave your toys in all day.

monique_minx: *whimpers softly* You'd do that anyway...

Leopald: True enough

monique_minx: *grumbles* Was hoping I'd be wrong there....damn it

Leopald: *shrugs* I thought so. So, I figured, "why spoil it?" *grins and winks*

Leopald: And shouldn't you be posting for me?

monique_minx: *Growls and rolls my eyes*

monique_minx: I should?

Leopald: Collection?

monique_minx: Pushy pushy

Leopald: So are you, so you can shut your cock-pleaser.

monique_minx: *Gapes then scowls* Nope, You Keep Me Coming Back For More is next on my hit list. And then Collection

Leopald: Hurry up, bitch.

monique_minx: You want me to do them now?!

Leopald: Yep. Or just do collection, I don't care.

monique_minx: *groans* What? The balls and plug weren't enough for you? There must be more?

Leopald: There must always be more, and you'll do well to watch your tone, fucktoy.

monique_minx: *swallows* Sorry Sir

Leopald: Hmmm

monique_minx: Okay I'm working on Collection now

~ Not Again… ~​

monique_minx: *soft smile* But I wouldn't be me if I'd been born over there....I'd be someone more....uptight *giggles and sticks my tongue out at him*

Leopald: *catches your tongue and growls softly* Watch it, bitch.

monique_minx: *Grimaces as he grabs my tongue and I squeak* Nuh again!

Leopald: *keeps a hold of your tongue, tsking softly* Always gotta be a brat, don't you? And you wonder why this sort of thing happens...

monique_minx: *Tries to stop the grin unsuccessfully so I go with it and shrugs* can't help it Thir!

Leopald: I'm sure. Silly bitch.

monique_minx: Pleathe can I have my tongue back Thir? *Blushes slightly at my fucked up speech*

Leopald: Nope. I'm gonna rub my cock all over it, maybe even cum on it.

monique_minx: *Whimpers softly, my eyes pleading that he might let me do that!*

Leopald: Only good bitches get the opportunity to please their masters...

monique_minx: *Whimpers painfully, shrinking and trying not to pull on my tongue too much*

Leopald: Yeah, this is what you get, fucktoy. Always such a brat.

monique_minx: *Pouts* I'm thorry Thir..*Groans desperately, my eyes watering a little as I tentatively try to pull my tongue back from him*

Leopald: Nope

Leopald: This tongue is mine for a while.

monique_minx: Pleathe! *I whine and stomp my foot hard on the ground*

Leopald: *slaps you as he holds your tongue* Watch your temper, bitch.

monique_minx: *Yelps and tugs on my tongue as I flinch, I move in closer to him when the pain of it hits me. I sniff and drop my eyes*

Leopald: Feeling a little owned yet?

monique_minx: *Nods slightly* Yeth Thir *groans and lifts hand to cover my eyes* Thucking retarded

Leopald: Don't make me smack you again...

monique_minx: *Squeaks, eyes wide as I drop my hand* What did I do?

Leopald: *releases your tongue finally*

monique_minx: *Snatches it back into my mouth and gasps* Thank you Sir *I let my dry tongue washed in my moist mouth a bit, hating how it feels after he does that*

Leopald: *chuckles and shakes his head* You never learn

monique_minx: *blushes* Sometimes....and sometimes the mistakes are too much fun not to do again, I like them

Leopald: Like when I grab your tongue?

monique_minx: *giggles* Or well when I poke it out, I'm not giving that signature cheekiness up! Psh!

monique_minx: Just makes me think twice before doing it for a little while

Leopald: Hehe. I'll bet

The Annihilation Of A Useless Cunt

This is a current tense entry...

This was a scene between Leopald, Ausus, Fuckmeat and I in IM where we fulfilled Fuckmeat's fantasy to be Triple Penetrated (TP). We had discussed this previously as a shared fantasy between us three women and so the decision came about that when we were all online, we would fulfill it.

It was far more personal than I care to show so our real names have been edited out and replaced with our Literotica handles for both clarity and anonymity.

Leopald: *holds up a pair of strap ons* The only question is... Who's first?

Ausus: Fuckmeat. She kicked it off

Fuckmeat: actually I just got kicked

Ausus: *snickers*

monique_minx: *Giggles*

Fuckmeat: wow. I have been fucked with a strap but I’ve never worn one.

monique_minx: Uhhh neither have I

Leopald: *hands one each to Minx and Ausus* I call her mouth...

Fuckmeat: yep. and I’m not exactly some huge chick with a bottomless cunt
Fuckmeat: all at once? with no prep?
Fuckmeat: where's the lube!

Leopald: Hehe

Fuckmeat: *gets attached to my corner*

monique_minx: *Takes it from him with a slight frown, muttering* Hope I can do this...*Giggles* And I don't think anyone cares if your cunt is or isn't bottomless Fuckmeat *Grins wickedly*

Fuckmeat: *sits firmly on floor*

Leopald: You don't want lube anyways bitch. We'll just all spit on you...

Ausus: *takes it and slips it on* No inane comment I promise.

monique_minx: *Puts mine on too, copying Ausus and wrinkling my nose* Uhhh I don't spit

Fuckmeat: you do now!

monique_minx: *Giggles*

Leopald: *laughs and walks to Fuckmeat’s corner, grabs her hair, and drags her to the centre of the room, before tossing her to the floor* Gonna have to beg for more...

Fuckmeat: *lands hard on the floor, staring up at him* please use me Sir. *looks around at the girls, suddenly very afraid* please fuck me with all your cocks.

Ausus: *Watches Fuckmeat in the centre of us, and I just smile and lick my lips. I bring a chair to the centre of the room, take Fuckmeat by the hair and throw her over it, preparing her*

monique_minx: *Shuffles in close, looking uncertain of what I should do at this point so I look to them both for direction*

Leopald: *chuckles at all the side talk and runs fingers along Fuckmeat's back* The question is... Who wants which hole on this hungry whore?

Fuckmeat: *looks round at them all, the adrenaline rush of being surrounded making my breath come short and hard. their cocks are all at my eye level and they look big*

Ausus: Shall we draw a number from a hat? Minx seemed to like that last time. Or just take our turns fucking each hole till she passes out?

monique_minx: *Arches a brow* No fun if she passes out, I'm just taking directions from you guys but I'm sure she'll learn to hate the hat like I did *rolls my eyes*

Leopald: Okay. Fuckmeat, pick a number from one through three for each of us. *pulls out some sanitary wipes and a bottle of lube for use*

Fuckmeat: *eyes Master's cock as he walks around, already craving it* Ummm... *looks up at Sir* One. *turns to Ausus* Two. *then to Minx* Three.

Ausus: Nice choices slut. Leo uses your mouth, I get your pussy and Minx gets your ass. *takes the bottle of lube from Leo* I hope that's what you wanted.

monique_minx: *Soft groan as I hear her choices and look at Leo hopelessly* I'll need help with this...*Slight blush but I've never done this before and I don't want to hurt her*

Leopald: Lube your cock and fingers, and treat it as if its your ass with the plug. Ausus and I will get started, you can join in... Easy enough?

Fuckmeat: *starts trembling at the thought of surrendering my ass to Minx*

Ausus: You can handle it Minxy. Start slow and work up to it. *grins and tries to stifle a giggle* I am thinking that I need to be on my back.. *giggles softly as I move to lay down next to Fuckmeat, guiding her to straddle my hips*

monique_minx: *Nods and bites my lip* Okay Sir... *Releases my lip slowly, feeling nervous and nodding as Ausus speaks and I take the discarded lubricant and start to rub some over my fingers as positions shift*

Leopald: *watches the two get into position, before offering a knowing smile to Minx. He strokes himself idly knowing that he wouldn't be gentle once he got into that throat* Open wide, bitch...

Fuckmeat: *straddles Ausus and sits down on her strap with a low moan. my cunt is wet and ready for her and there's no point pretending any different. my ass remains tightly clenched against Minx though, I can't help it. I lift my eyes to Master once more, watching the humanity drain from his face. This will not be pretty. He has no compunction about virtually killing me with his cock when he's seeking his own pleasure*

Ausus: *Watching her sink down my length, I sigh softly, looking up Leo stands right above me and I get maybe the best view in the house to watch him choke her. I begin to move her hips and lament sadly to myself that this isn't my double sided strap on so I could be getting fucked too... Oh well.*

monique_minx: *I move up behind her as they start, returning Leo's smile softly and I press my fingers to her backdoor, frowning suddenly. I spank her ass hard* Unclench bitch or it's gonna hurt! *I keep pressing my lubed finger to her ass, my middle finger lubed and waiting for its chance*

Leopald: *smiles coldly, allowing the tip of his already hard member to brush across the lips of the willing slave before him. From his angle, he won't be able to see much, but he knows that soon she'll be screaming around his cock from the multiple penetration. He slide the head of the shaft into her mouth, his smile growing wider*

Fuckmeat: *I start rising and falling on Ausus, rolling my hips in an attempt to give her some stimulation from the base of her strap. this makes Minx's task more difficult but I try to make my asshole relax around her probing finger. When Master pushes his cock into my mouth I go crazy on it, lavishing it with my tongue in an a totally transparent attempt to dissuade him from raping my throat just yet*

Ausus: *I moan softly and then hold Fuckmeat's hips still so that Minx can get her end in. My hips continue to push into her softly, but I add my finger to the mix, pushing against her clit, rubbing it in an effort to drive her that much more crazy*

monique_minx: *I wiggle my finger inside, my arm moving with them forces me to smother giggles. There's the reason I've never done this before! I worked my second finger in with some small difficulties and start to thrust them in and out, stretching her ring in preparation*

Leopald: *growls as the bitch goes to town on his cock, and he's not fooled by her attempts to distract him from his goal. He grabs a firm hold of the back of her head, but doesn't commence the rape just yet. He moves his head to the side and winks down at Ausus*

Fuckmeat: *moans loudly onto Master's shaft, my cunt flexing on Ausus' strap while she plays with my clit and Minx fingers my ass. I'm already becoming overwhelmed and they're only getting started. I savour Master's scent and taste, knowing I'll be in no position to appreciate it very soon. my hips shake from the effort of keeping still, with the effect of making Ausus strap vibrate against her*

Ausus: *Her tiny little movements seem connected to my clit and I moan softly. The pleasure doesn't stop me from reaching up to flick my hard nails against her nipples. She used to worse I know. I catch Leo's eye when he looks down at me, and I groan* If she drool's on me because you are choking her with that monster, I promise you Leo.. we are fighting. *glares up at him in mock anger*

monique_minx: *I finally pop my fingers out of her ass and hold the lubed up strap on, carefully positioning myself and taking a deep breath to relax. I press it against her and grip her hips, trying to grasp just how this is done by how its been done to me and I move slowly into her*

Leopald: *cant help but laugh at Ausus’ comment, and shrugs* I can't help it if the bitch drools. Take it up with her for being a sloppy slut... *with the last of these words, he shoves the rest of his cock into Fuckmeat’s mouth, right down to her throat*

Fuckmeat: *moans and grinds my holes as Ausus plays with my nipples. her desire not to be drooled on worries me, as Master always leaves me in a puddle of mess after brutal use like this. Minx's strap pushing into my ass makes me yelp and I press back and down, deciding to get the head of it in quickly rather than drag it out. I gag helplessly as he takes my throat, my tongue sticking out beneath his rigid shaft. saliva starts welling in my mouth but I tip my head upwards.*

Ausus: *I watch her. And slap her tits, and finger her roughly* Keep it clean bitch. You are lucky we are fucking you. *reaches up and cups her jaw, holding her so he can shove it further down her throat*

monique_minx: *I push all the way into her, finding it relatively easy after the first part is in. I start to rock my hips into her, it almost feels like dancing...kinda, sorta. I seesaw her with Ausus, slowly finding a rhythm with her that I can manage and once I’m a little more comfortable, I spank her right ass cheek hard, grinning - it's not so difficult I guess*

Leopald: *groans as he sinks down into the throat and his own hips start rocking quickly. His face is in a cold smirk while he shoves himself repeatedly down her throat, loving the feel of it clenching around him. He pulls out suddenly* Tell them how much you love it when they use your holes, bitch... Thank them for making you into a whore...

Fuckmeat: *my tits sting but it distracts me from the pain in my poor ass as Minx gets to work. I nearly pass out altogether when Ausus holds my jaw and gives Master even greater access. nausea pitches low in my gut as I try to fight down the panic at being used so savagely by him. When he pulls out I’m left gasping and retching and I know thick saliva has dripped from his cock onto Ausus. My face is now tear streaked, my mouth distended and my lips swollen. I answer Master with a broken, ragged voice that comes out on hard gasps* I'm no whore Sir. Whores get paid! But they've made me into Fuckmeat and I'm grateful for that. Thank you girls. *my holes flex and I take the opportunity to moan loudly as they both start fucking me with equal enthusiasm.* Thank you!

Ausus: Ugh *the saliva from her drips onto my cheek and I can't help but slap her after her sweet words* You're welcome. *I shove my hips forcefully into her, shoving my cock all the way in*

monique_minx: *I grin and watch Ausus slap her, I start to rain spanks down hard on her ass, making my own hand stings as I thrust harder and faster. My hands switch and trade, three spanks for each cheek before I swap hands and ass cheek* You're welcome twice slut

Leopald: *shoves himself deep down he throat almost as soon as she is done speaking. Hips buck forcing himself fully in, and another groan escapes him, hands on the back of her head, offering no escape from his savage fucking*

Fuckmeat: *my body starts to shudder as everything threatens to overwhelm me. my ass heats and stings under Minx's hands and Ausus’ forceful fucking is pushing me close to orgasm, with Minx compelled to match her pace. My face reddens and then purples as Master fucks it and my brain starves. euphoria washes over me, threatening to make me forget that I don't have permission to cum. my body shakes violently from oxygen deprivation, my cunt flooding and getting far too close*

Ausus: *Fuckmeat is getting closer and I rake my nails down her stomach and rub her clit harder. Yes. I am going to throw her ass under the bus if I can. I can feel Minxy's thrusts behind her, and together we are rocking the girl in the middle... pretty fucking intensely*

monique_minx: *I lighten on my spanks once I can feel the shaking in her limbs begin, the telltale signs of oxygen deprivation and a woman on the edge. I grin and thrust hard into her, almost vicious with each one as my nails wrap her hips and bite into her skin without remorse*

Leopald: *he sees the signs, knows she's about to lose it, but he only laughs. He allows her a moment of free breathing, before renewing his assault. She was going to cum without permission, over and over, and there was nothing she would be able to do to stop it. As he pounds away again, he continues to laugh*

Fuckmeat: *Master allows me to breathe but only so I'm fully cognizant of what's about to happen. His laughter rings in my ears as he takes my throat again and the girls continue to shred my other holes. In the end, it proves to be Minx’s fingernails in my hips that kick me over the edge. I am forced to cum silently, but it's no less epic for that. All my holes contracts as my body arches and bucks, flooding Ausus’ strap. before I’m done riding out the aftershocks I’m already violently shuddering, knowing that the fact I couldn't help cumming won't keep Master from making me suffer for it*

Ausus: *giggles watching her, feeling her cum, I buck up my hips a little harder, and watch him shove himself further down her throat*

monique_minx: *I grin when I feel her shaking, knowing the feeling pretty well myself. I lick my lips and look up from her reddened ass at Leo, fingernails biting into one hip as the other spanks her harshly and I smile wickedly at Leo. Unable to do the same with Ausus but I know she can just see my face anyway.* She just can't help herself Sir...*I giggle in a scary evil way, spanking her until my palm stings and her ass cheek is an even deeper shade of red while I fuck her just as hard as ever, grating across the thin membrane between her ass and cunt with Ausus’ strap on*

Leopald: *continues to buck into her mouth, as he listens to minx's comment* Oh, I know... She's a dirty piece of meat, useful only for her holes being filled... *he allows her another quick breath, and renews his assault, knowing she wouldn't be long for cumming again*

Fuckmeat: *almost fails to take the opportunity to breathe, gasping half a lungful of air at the last moment. Minx’s assault to my ass cheeks manages to breakthrough the riot of sensation, making me squirm and yelp onto Master's cock.*

Ausus: *just fascinated by the three of them. One hand on her thigh as I pump into her, letting the shock of it pulse into my clit My finger pinches her clit and I listen for her gasp*

monique_minx: *Squeezes her hip and switches hands as Leo speaks, I nod and grin viciously* I don't even know if she's useful for that Sir, she can't even seem to do that right...*Smacks her hard* Can you? *I never expect an answer, knowing she can't give one with his cock almost raping her stomach it's so deep in.*

Leopald: She's loving all these cocks taking her, though. Just look at that depraved bitch take them in every hole... *laughs and pulses in her throat, his own climax would be soon, but not yet*

Fuckmeat: *I squeal as Ausus pinches my clit and another climax hits, rocking through my body as it gets pummelled in every hole. Master's mockery leaves me fucking Minx and Ausus with helpless abandon. My cunt is getting sore now from Ausus’ strap and my ass is molten, burning with raw, dry pain.*

Ausus: *Fuckmeat cums again and I smile lethally, waiting for him to pull out and let her breathe, I shove her off me, ripping my cock and Minxy’s from her holes, with a satisfying pop and slurp sort of noise. She lands next to me on her side and I sit up* K. I'm all done now with that slut, Daddy. *yawns mockingly*

monique_minx: *Ausus surprises me and I pull back with a stunned giggle and wait to see what happens*

Leopald: *chuckles as Ausus tosses her off, then stands over the used slut, slowly stroking himself* I have a surprise for you bitches...

Fuckmeat: *crouches on the floor in a pool of spit and cunt juice, hyperventilating as I try to get my breath back. It's all I can do to stare blearily up at Master through tear filled eyes.*

Ausus: *I toss a towel at Fuckmeat and smile softly* Spill it.. what's the surprise?

monique_minx: *Arches a brow curiously, looking at him*

~ And that surprise was just for us, sorry! ~​

Hehehe... the definition of a good time had by all. Oh and Minx. That next scene isn't going here. Just an FYI.

Resilient and Vile Minx

This is a current tense entry…

I just need to get this thought down before it passes and it probably won’t make sense to anyone but me. However, I just need to. I have this sense of determination inside, a feeling that came from reading a thread and recalling one of my own where my character woke up in a room and smacked her hands on the ground as she got up.

So now, the she in this is me but I can’t write it any other way…

There is a few strong things in her, she doesn’t see them til they’re called upon; when they’re needed and they rear. Determined? Perhaps. When asked to describe herself and offered a page filled with words to do it. Pick only one.

She reads it over and only one word seems to sparkle. This is for a job but a job is not what comes to mind when she sees the word. It’s just her, nothing to do with a job.

“I am…resilient.” She says so quietly as to go unheard, she almost seems surprised at herself when she speaks. Such modesty in her own traits that she fumbles, blushes and shakes her head, “Never mind.”

The room keeps talking, people keep conversing and she has to turn the paper over so that she no longer looks at that word. Thoughts spinning in her head, only another word she can’t be rid of comes to mind - survivor. She thinks of that story, how her character reacts to things and compares it to herself; she would be so similar and yet not. She thinks she would fight, she wonders if she would give in, she questions what she would do and whether or not she would enjoy it. Some of it? Certainly. Without question, she can’t deny who she is or what she enjoys but the rest?

She wants to play herself. She wants to see what she’d do in a future situation so is this impossible? Would she really know? Hands slap the desk, frustration, she doesn’t know and she had turmoil in her mind over something said to her that was oddly arousing. She doesn’t understand why she’d find things that disgust her enjoyable but she finds a small answer that is perhaps of comfort - just to have the answer, and not, because of what the answer is, what it means and what it represents for her.

The answer? It’s not the acts, she’d need to be forced because she’d not do them, she’d fight and she knows it. It’s him, it’s the control factor, the way he says he’d do it and she wouldn’t matter. It thrilled her, it scared her, she should be disgusted, she tried to be….she hid it. It’s confusing. It’s something to do with him that she can’t put her finger on, can’t understand…for surely if someone else had said it, she’d not need to act disgusted, she would be. He could get away with it, she wouldn’t walk away from him, he could abuse her so greatly and she feels drawn in. She doesn’t understand it, she has something deep inside her addictive and acidic personality that gives of herself until there’s nothing left. But…only to him.

She can’t figure if she’d let him do it, she thinks about it over and over and is very nearly disgusted…with herself…for the things she’d let him get away with. The things she wants from him, she can’t explain, she can’t say, she feels almost guilty for them, wrong inside somehow…most of all she wants to find out but wonders if she’d regret it…

It would be too late then wouldn’t it? She’d have been the one to fuck it all up…but no, she knows…she just feels revolting inside for what she wants and what she wants to know…

Break me.

I gotta be crazy baby...to want a guy like you. But I guess...you gotta be just as crazy to want a girl like me...

99 Questions

This is a current tense entry...

Just 99 random questions answered about the Minx, I found this on an old social profiling site and it needed a serious update!

1. Taken a picture naked?

Yes

2. Painted your room?

Yeah, I went crazy for about a month and painted messages on my wall

3. Made out with a member of the same sex?

Yes, dated one too...

4. Drove a car?

Drove a car, crashed a car...it's a fine line

5. Danced in front of your mirror?

It's likely, I get drunk in so many stupid ways...

6. Have a crush?

Had a couple

7. Been dumped?

Twice, once I let him dump me and once I had no choice but out of 23 or so guys, those odds are still pretty damn good!

8. Stole money from a friend?

No but I've had friends steal from me

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met?

Yeah, I kinda needed a lift once and this guy pulled over; I was totally plastered and wearing my latest and greatest slut wear...I like to live on the very edge...

10. Been in a fist fight?

Yes...ah the perils of living in my hometown!

11. Snuck out of your house?

Often when I was a teenager. Now I just walk out the front door and tell the family to fuck off and I'll be back when the screaming ends. (Just never forget your phone, shoes and car keys when you storm out!)

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them Back?

I think just about everyone has!

13. Been arrested?

Just a couple of times I swear!

14. Made out with a stranger?

Oh god I hate this question...can I just say yes? No? Maybe...ummm...often...in a lot of clubs, dozens of guys and girls and I don't even know their names...

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

Ummm yeah... (some of these are made for teenagers, can you tell?)

16. Left your house without telling your parents?

My parents and caring about that ever? Ha!

17. Had a crush on your neighbour?

Nope but just about every neighbour I've had has had a crush on me!

18. Ditched school to do something more fun?

Only constantly, year 11 was like the year for wagging, I did too much crap to put in here!

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

Yep, friends and girlfriends alike I swear...I did not fuck...okay...some of them...

20. Seen someone die?

Yes, car accidents out the front were constant for a few years, my childhood memories are riddled with those mangled bodies

21. Been on a plane?

On it...in it....flown it...whatever

22. Kissed a picture?

Kissed a poster but that's a picture right? Not saying who was on it

23. Slept in until 3?

Yeah....yesterday

24. Love someone or miss someone right now?

Yes

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Once at the water tower, we were really bored and out of smokes

26. Made a snow angel?

Never seen the snow

27. Played dress up?

I think every girl has, everytime I'm trying to get ready to go out that's all I ever do, changing outfits!! hehehe

28. Cheated while playing a game?

Once...I was losing Monopoly to my sisters and of course that just can't happen, I only nicked a $500 note!

29. Been lonely?

Yeah right now

30. Fell asleep in school/work?

Hahaha many times

31. Been to a club?

Yeah only about a hundred of the fuckers...and I wonder about my ruined high heels

32. Felt an earthquake?

Nope

33. Touched a snake?

I've had a pet snake...what the hell do you think?!

34. Ran a red light?

HAHAHA Yes!! Oh my god, my sisters went and pissed some kid off so his mum got in her car and chased us all around our hometown. I was driving and didn't even notice it was red. I was also driving illegally at the time, shhh! I didn't have my license back then.

35. Been suspended from school?

Yeah many times

37. Been in a car accident?

A few...

38. Hated the way you look?

I think everyone does at some point, when I'm getting ready to go out and it seems like my hair won't do what I want it to or my make up just looks fucked or I drop something on my outfit...then yeah! I hate the way I look then!!

39. Witnessed a crime?

Witnessed a crime...committed a crime...fine line....wait...can I commit the crime and witness myself doing it? Oh, that totally counts!

40. Pole danced?

Oh hell yeah! I love it, it's fun!!

41. Been lost?

I've actually tried to get myself lost, it doesn't work, I have an amazing sense of direction!!

42. Been to the opposite side of the country?

Nope

43. Felt like dying?

Often

44. Cried yourself to sleep?

Often...

46. Sang karaoke?

Yeah I'm pretty good, just don't make me record myself; I sound much better live!

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?

Yeah

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

Yes, I think everyone's done that at least once

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

Oh rub it in!! How many times do I have to say I've never seen the snow?!

50. Kissed in the rain?

Yes, passionately...*sighs*...god that was a good follow up, wet warm fuck...

51. Sing in the shower?

Acoustics in my bathroom are awesome and when you're in a 24 jet spa who can resist?!

52. Made love in a park?

Yes...refer back to said wet warm fuck in the pouring rain...

53. Had a dream that you married someone?

NEVER!!

54. Glued your hand to something?

Hehehe once, I was trying to fix a lamp with super glue and I ended up getting stuck to it!

55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

Okay who are these freaky flag pole licking people?!

56. Ever gone to school partially naked?

Ummmm no...I was always careful to make sure I had both shirt and pants on before I walked out the front door!

57. Been a cheerleader?

God no!! (Does it count in a gang bang role play scenario?)

58. Sat on a roof top?

Alot, only way to escape my parents when they were yelling at everything in sight! Plus...I had to go somewhere to smoke where they wouldn't see/find me!

59. Didn't take a shower for a week?

Okay...gross...NO!

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?

No but once we were watching the Exorcism of Emily Rose and the suspense was building and just before something I expect that would've been scary came on screen we had a black out, I've never heard such a blood curdling scream in all my life, turned to my left and saw my mother clutching a pillow and shaking like a leaf!! BAHAHAHA!!

61. Played chicken?

Sorta, bordem kinda gets the better of you around here

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

Ummm does a river count?...With only a g string on? One day I'll kill you Jay Jay!!

64. Broken a bone?

Many concussions but never a broken bone

65. Been easily amused?

Yeah, I have my silly moments like everyone else, especially when I'm stoned!!

66. Laugh so hard you cry?

Yeah a fair few times

68. Cheated on a test?

Never, I was accused of it once but no I've never cheated on an exam!

69. Forgotten someone's name?

Yep a few times! I know too many people to know all their names

70. Slept naked?

Who can be bothered searching for clothes after fucking anyway?

71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool?

No but I've always wanted to try it...in a pool...

73. Blacked out from drinking?

Ummm only constantly...I'm a frequent binge drinker.

74. Played a prank on someone?

Yeah

75. Gone to a late night movie?

Yeah of course

76. Made love to anything not human?

I wouldn't call it making love but fuck my vibrator has given its all

77. Failed a class?

Yeah, I failed high school in general, I didn't care.

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?

Can I say cock? Technically not supposed to eat it...

79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?

Not that long, no

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend?

Yeah, I had two boyfriends and a girlfriend all at once...one boyfriend and the girlfriend knew about it...thankfully the other boyfriend cheated on me in a threesome in return so we did well together! Hehehe

81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?

Umm hello? AUSTRALIAN HERE!!

82. Thrown strange objects?

Only at my sister...

83. Felt like killing someone?

Yeah my sister...

84. Thought about running away?

Every single fucking day...*sighs*

85. Ran away?

Yeah and then we got arrested...again!!

86. Did drugs?

Did I not say stoned somewhere up there? Of course I fuckin' have!! A few...interesting varieties actually, pot is just one...

87. Had detention and not attend it?

Yeah, I NEVER went to detention, I must've had a million of them, the principle in primary school hated me and in high school it was the librarian and my BCT teacher

89. Made a parent cry?

Hahaha...my parents have no souls!!

90. Cried over someone?

Hasn't everyone?

91. Owned more than 5 sharpies?

WTF ARE THEY?!

92. Dated someone more than once?

Yes

93. Had/Have a dog?

Yeah

95. Own an instrument?

Not anymore

96. Been in a band?

Nope

98. Broken a CD?

Yep only my sister's though

99. Shot a gun?

No

Emo Territory

This is a current tense entry...

This diary entry is just to describe how I'm currently feeling. There's just so many words I could use to here...

- Abandoned
- Dejected
- Rejected
- Lonely
- Sad
- A little jealous
- A little annoyed
- A little wanton
- A little wishful

Mostly those last four. I've really wanted nothing more than to have an RL session with my Sir lately and so I am a little wanton and wishful for it. I'm a little annoyed with my RL sister; Charlotte for nagging me to go out but I know I should do this even if I have to force myself to do it.

I'm a little jealous of Ausus who so often pulls something with my Sir and gets to play or be beaten for it. When I'm behaving or feeling deeply submissive and want to play; I can't seem to find a way to convey the desire because it just goes against my feelings to ask and I also want his attention so I don't like playing when he is with others. So I was really hit hard and hurt when she told me what she'd done this time and he said he was beating her...cause all I wanted to do was play and I can't find a way to convey it when I'm in that particular mood. I can't even just come out and ask that much point blank cause it seems to just not feel fun or spontaneous. It's an arrangement I have with one play partner but I don't want it with my Sir either.

I'm sad over what transpired between my Sir and I this morning and over one of my RL friend's expressions before that because he looked so down and disappointed. I'm also just depressed in general I guess. But more because of all that's happened in the last 24 hours or so.

I feel lonely because I only speak to a select few people at a time and Sir and I struggle with conversation at times simply because we're lack inspiration.

I feel dejected and rejected because I can't ask for what I want and my hints just never seem to sink in anywhere. Just the same dull merry go round over and over where the horses get off and kids keep piling on anyway...

Last but not least I feel abandoned; I can't really describe this one all that well but I can just say it's inducing powerful resentment on occasion. I am trying not to be so damn clingy and needy all the time but my sex drive is free now so I guess I'm paying for that.

Right now I don't feel that I'd deserve an RL session with my Sir which is why I haven't asked for it where I'd usually at least timidly broach the subject. Anyways, that's all I'd got for now. My sister wants to drag me to some movie so I better get changed for it and all...

Just Another Pretty Whore

This is in two parts.

I wasn’t always so promiscuous.
I know, half of Literotica just stopped breathing, right?
It’s true. Breathe.
Once I was the good girl, once I was scared I’d regret a sexual act and thus I was surprised when I stopped regretting. When I gave Callum what I like to call my consensual virginity; I stopped regretting everything. I never woke up the next day and thought; god what did I do last night? I never worried about the fall out or another broken heart I’d crush after that. I never felt bad for the marks I left on Rae’s ass or how I’d fucked her and left her to want me. I never felt that I needed to tell her I loved her and thus, she never thought I did. I guess that did prove to be a mistake and while I wish I had told her, I don’t regret not doing it. I had a new path laid out for me which allowed me to discover more of myself than I had before.

So let’s put Rae and Callum on the shelf right? That’s a story that will take me far longer than to explain how I became a whore. So I went to see a movie tonight - Easy A. You might have seen it and you may not have but it doesn’t matter, it’s simply what inspired me to write this entry. I could relate to her but instead of pretending to be a slut, I truly was one and while the guidance counsellor in the movie says a whore can’t admit what she is to herself; I did, everyday.

I never had a self image issue, it wasn’t like I hated what I saw in the mirror and I’m just speaking about what’s skin deep. I was very confident about how I looked. Problem is? That’s all it was.

That’s how I felt I was seen by every man, how I still feel about it most of the time and how I managed to go through the motions and come out an utter trollop. I saw what was reflected and I saw what I could do for a man in bed. Now, I make no humble opinion of my skills in that area, I have them. I can make a woman scream beneath my fingertips, make a man groan between my lips; whichever ones they might be and I have always been told my cunt is a thing of beauty inside and out. I’ve been told by many men that I’m not only tight there but I move muscles, I fuck in return like a dream and I feel different in an indescribable way to any other woman. That’s just my cunt alone.
I’ve been perfecting my oral skills for men since I learned to suck a cock and I still try new things and practise this endlessly on my fuck buddies. I delight in knowing no other woman can get Kirk (one fuck buddy) to cum while he’s high, I revel in the knowledge that Bradin (my best mate, ex and other fuck buddy) prefers my mouth around his dick over any other and I love knowing that Rae will never scream for another woman quite like she did for me.

I love what I can do and what I have worked hard to perfect. To become better than any porn star or whore that makes sex their job. This is my obsession. Nymphomaniacs may need their fix but I need to know I do it better every time. That I’m perfection at this one thing.
Why?
Because that’s all I had.

It was the only thing I felt I was any good at when Callum left me.

I tried to have another boyfriend. Ben. I exhausted him, his efforts to keep up with my sex drive were admirable but he could never quite satisfy me. I got a small thrill in the dark when I straddled him and felt him slide up into me but only because I knew that our friends laid there awake in the black only a few feet away.

My cunt wasn’t mine.
It was still Callum’s.

I had to listen to the same song just to become aroused for a long time after he left me and while Ben accepted, he never understood and I know it hurt him. But I never cared that I hurt Ben. He gave me control of our relationship and I obliterated it. I treated him like trash because he wouldn’t do it to me. Six months later? I had managed to force him to breaking point, we broke up. Five minutes after he’d dumped me? He wanted me back. I said no and we left it at that.

Out of all of this?
Ben suffered the most.
I wanted him to suffer me. It was never his fault that it wasn’t in him to control me but he brought ripping claws to the surface. I spent our relationship leaving him insecure and when it was over? I couldn’t let it be over, I couldn’t let him think he could leave me freely and that’s when it began.

It started at the Slipknot concert. We’d gotten tickets with my friends Bradin and Jessie who were dating at the time (I had introduced them). But Ben and I had broken up weeks before and weren’t speaking any longer so it was a long and awkward moment when we met up because Ben and I had tickets for gate 2 while Jessie and Bradin were at gate 1. Jessie knew I was uncomfortable and made the swap, she and I went up to gate 2 and we let the boys be boys.

Rachelle, whom I’d met through Ben, was there and not enjoying his snide attitude. She was at our gate so we went off to get some bourbon together with Jessie along for it. When we came back, we decided to go down and see the guys since I felt a little bad for keeping Jessie from her boyfriend. They were quite fine without us. Ben had met another girl and was talking to her - Lyrix. Rachelle, Jessie and I soon managed to whisk her away (she had tickets for our gate too) and before long Rachelle and I were plastered and high on ecstasy (the drug and not the orgasm!).

Lyrix wasn’t a good girl but she didn’t do drugs and Jessie was the girl next door type, not the kind to party hard with us. Soon enough, we entered the concert venue which was outdoors and started downing more alcohol. We met up with Ben and Bradin, Ben’s older brother was there, Ben’s cousin Jonathon and his girlfriend Heaven were also there. We were a fairly tight and large bunch of friends by now.

It wasn’t long before the hugging was over and the hello’s were done, the music began and toasts were raised in honour of the stage. All hell broke loose. Rachelle started giving me her half empties, unable to finish them and I got incredibly smashed but this was not unusual, my friends had all seen me trashed before however, none of them would forget what I did next.

Ben’s brother was also very drunk and started to hit on me, he wasn’t my type in the least and in the light of day? I would certainly find him sexually repulsive. Drunk at a concert and in the dark? Oh yes, I was very cruel. I grabbed his shirt and kissed him right in front of Ben, the hurt in Ben’s eyes became my victory and would later be my defeat. Jessie was the first to call me a slut but my friends refused to judge me. I spent the night with Lyrix while we ran across the concert; getting groped as we ran through the grounds trying to find Rachelle who was tripping bad and kept straying off with strange guys.

More than once Lyrix and I were stopped by a random guy who wanted to get his photo with the two beautiful ladies or whatever such compliment they plied us with. Eventually we managed to catch Rachelle at the end of the concert and narrowly avoided her getting arrested for possession by some fast talking on my part (I have no idea what I said). Post concert? I got a phone call from Callum as we headed over to the Casino, I don’t remember what was said but it left me even more determined to show him I didn’t need him.

Just Another Pretty Whore Part Two

Part Two

Next? Lyrix took me clubbing every weekend. It was incredible. We met Scott and Adam at Jessie’s birthday party and took them back to Lyrix’s place. I ended up in Adam’s lap, we were in the hot tub together but we never fucked. Scott however? Well, he had a girlfriend…but then they came back to my place after a coincidental meeting at a club Lyrix and I frequented the following weekend.

Scott and I had done some risqué flirting but nowhere near what I thought he’d done with Lyrix. By the time we got back to my house, we’d worked each other up behind Adam’s back and Adam crashed out on my floor. Scott and I were on the bed and he went down on me which as everyone knows never really does much for me. But then, oh how it became interesting. I felt a little bad but he was sober by then and it was his choice, he was Bradin’s best mate but it wouldn’t stop me.

Scott had me on top of him, my back to his chest, laying flat while he held me tightly beneath my chest. His other hand found its way down my skirt and I lost my damn mind in those few minutes, he wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t let me go and kept whispering in my ear that I’d better keep quiet or else. I was near screaming from this, I wanted to explode! And I kept quiet. It was the first time I’d felt a man in control of me since Callum. Oh and I did so enjoy it.

Scott went home and I heard from Bradin that Scott had broken up with his girlfriend not long after and he hated me for it. Bradin never judged me, never hated me for it and if he did? He never said it.

Next came the slew of single men and one night stands I ripped through including a painter named Shane and a rather clumsy, painful fuck named Adrian. I never saw either of them again. Kirk however…he’s on my speed dial. I met him while he was the DJ of my favourite metal club and we went back to Lyrix’s house, exchanged numbers and got together the next weekend for drinks and sex. Since then? We’ve done this over and over, drinks and sex, upgrading to getting high more recently but it’s still fun and each time gets a little better as we learn each other’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom.

Back to Bradin and how that began. While we had dated previously, I’d never done more with Bradin than go down on him in spite of a long five year friendship. That would change drastically while he was with Jessie. She would apparently starfish in the bedroom, for those of you that don’t know, she laid there like a corpse and didn’t move the whole time. It was rather disconcerting for Bradin, he’d been with her for nearly a year when they finally hopped into bed together and it was not at all what he had hoped for. Bradin hardly confided much of this in me but between him and Jessie? I got the whole picture pretty well.

So Bradin’s father was diagnosed with cancer at the time, he was dying and he was dying fast. Bradin hadn’t seen his father in years, the man was a fugitive on the run for years who would be doomed to die in prison so it was hard for Bradin, he didn’t know how to feel about it. I came to his side one night and met him on an oval with a grandstand not too far from where Bradin lived. About half an hour from my place though. So a train and a bus later; I was there and he was sitting next to me, pouring this all out. The quiver in his voice was enough to make me silence him and we had a cigarette, speaking about the next Amberley air show and whether or not we would be in attendance.

Bradin and I were not saints this night and we had intentionally text flirted before, both of us saying what could never happen and freely admitting how tempted we were by the idea. We ended up entangled on the grass that night and while it was said that it shouldn’t have happened and never would again, he was at my place a month later to repeat it. Jessie and him lasted a year longer while Bradin and I kept this affair going, I was occasionally fucking Kirk as well and before too long? Bradin broke up with Jessie on new years and we kept it going.

I still go club hopping and make out with random guys in the dark, tease and disappear into the night. Make out with girls on the steps of the casino in exchange for a drink and a photo, pole dance and grind on many people throughout a single night; rarely if ever will I see them again.

Nowhere near the end of the road, I still screw around with my fuck buddies and audio chat with various guys, have less than scrupulous chats both over the phone, face to face and online. More than anyone, I suppose Leo would know the full extent of it best since he’s the one who has been able to push me further.

Do I regret it now?
Would I take it back if I could?
No and never.
It is what it was meant to be and it led me to where I am now. I leave it here now because I could continue this subject forever and never quite come out with exactly what I want to say but I think I’ve covered the bulk of it.

I’m just another pretty whore.