BDSM to me is...

Soumis

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Posts
357
I feel like there's been a lot of discussion lately about what bdsm isn't. Well, one of the things I like most about bdsm is what it is. It's inclusive of a variety of kinks, orientations, experience levels, and fetishes. So! Think of this like those old kindergarten finish the sentence exercises. This thread is all about what you appreciate in bdsm. What brings you to the table. What brings us together under our bdsm umbrella.

No questioning other people's kinks here! Keep those shenanigans to other threads. :)

BDSM to me is...

...dressing with consideration as to where I will be marked the next time I pull on clothes...
...the delicious anticipation of welts and bruises...
...the tightening of restraints...
...the press of worn wood under by cheek...
...the smell of leather lingering over my skin...
...the quiet place I find in pain...
...the ache of going to the floor into a puddle of sub goo...
...going home alone knowing I pushed myself and the journey is far from over...
 
BDSM to me is a mindfuck.


...a clear head like no other time.
...careful disregard of expectations.
...affection afterwards.
 
BDSM is an expression of Love.

If it is not an expression of Love, it is not BDSM.
 
Heh. I always tend to think of BDSM as the physical manifestation of the D/s emotional relationship.
 
This.

I really can't take it all too seriously.

I take it very seriously 'in the moment'. The pain; the mindfuck.

But in a broader sense, it's just a kink - it presses my feelgood buttons, and that's why I do it. No biggie.
 
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Oh for fuck's sake shut UP!

What if every single one of us put him on our iggy lists? Would he essentially disappear? You know...the whole, if a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, thing.
 
I take it very seriously 'in the moment'. The pain; the mindfuck.

But in a broader sense, it's just a kink - it presses my feelgood buttons, and that's why I do it. No biggie.

I take safety seriously, but other than that... I try not to take any of it too seriously. But that's just me.
 
I can be literal too! Take that JM!!
I don't do it as attempted humor, or to piss people off. It's just the way my brain works.

I try to compensate, using both general and person-specific experience with the way other people communicate. But that doesn't always help, especially with people I don't know well, and when tone and visual clues are absent (as in the virtual world.)
 
I don't do it as attempted humor, or to piss people off. It's just the way my brain works.

I try to compensate, using both general and person-specific experience with the way other people communicate. But that doesn't always help, especially with people I don't know well, and when tone and visual clues are absent (as in the virtual world.)

I was just teasing...in a very good natured way. No harm intended. Didn't mean to poke a sensitive spot.

:)

Peace?

You may feel free to tease me about one of my many quirks. Consider this a free pass.
 
I was just teasing...in a very good natured way. No harm intended. Didn't mean to poke a sensitive spot.

:)

Peace?

You may feel free to tease me about one of my many quirks. Consider this a free pass.
No problem, I just wasn't sure whether you understood. I don't mind good-natured teasing.

Nor do I mind nastier swipes, taken by those who are hostile. I developed a thick skin for that when I was a kid, and learned to just take it as valuable info about the one taking the shot.
 
No problem, I just wasn't sure whether you understood. I don't mind good-natured teasing.

Nor do I mind nastier swipes, taken by those who are hostile. I developed a thick skin for that when I was a kid, and learned to just take it as valuable info about the one taking the shot.

Good to hear. I give all my friends the raspberry, it's just my way of being friendly and fun. I generally don't tease people I don't like.

With perhaps one recent exception on this board :rolleyes:
 
Comfort.

Which sounds kind of odd in a way, but that's the best single word I can think of. The Man and I spend quite a bit of time having [usually naked LOL] rambling, wrapped up inside one another, philosophical/biological/theoretical sorts of discussions. And the vast majority of the time what it all boils down to is what a comfort it is to him to have a safe and trusting place to be who and what he is, and what a comfort it is to me to have a safe and trusting place to be who and what I am. It might not seem all that D/s to the outside world, but it is to us, and I for one find a lot of comfort in that...
 
Comfort.

Which sounds kind of odd in a way, but that's the best single word I can think of. The Man and I spend quite a bit of time having [usually naked LOL] rambling, wrapped up inside one another, philosophical/biological/theoretical sorts of discussions. And the vast majority of the time what it all boils down to is what a comfort it is to him to have a safe and trusting place to be who and what he is, and what a comfort it is to me to have a safe and trusting place to be who and what I am. It might not seem all that D/s to the outside world, but it is to us, and I for one find a lot of comfort in that...

beautiful :rose:
 
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